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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28478538">The Head and The Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constant_reader13/pseuds/Constant_reader13'>Constant_reader13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Pride and Prejudice Fusion, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Blow Jobs, Castiel is a Tease, Dancing, Dean is a big nerd, Dean is a horny spaz, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hand Jobs, Hospitalization, I got caught up in the valentine's day nonsense and I will not apologize for it, I suck at tags, Lawyer Castiel (Supernatural), Literal Sleeping Together, Lizzie Bennet Diaries References, Love Confessions, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, New Jersey, New York City, Non-Consensual, Noooo drama! But also yesssss drama!, Pie, Pride and Prejudice References, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use, References to Jane Austen, Rehabilitation, Requited Love, Slow Burn, Spooning, The pride &amp; prejudice AU no one asked for, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Writer Dean Winchester, it is unclear!, lawyer talk, like stupid slow burn, mentions of past Miscarriage, what kind of lawyer is Cas anyway?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:06:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>99,415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28478538</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constant_reader13/pseuds/Constant_reader13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to my Pride and Prejudice AU! This will be a shameless interpretation of the novel by Jane Austen, the 2005 movie by Joe Wright, and the Lizzie Bennet YouTube series.</p><p>If you’re a fan of any of those, not to mention our favorite wayward characters then I hope you enjoy this story.</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Becky Rosen/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Cast of Characters:</p><p>Dean Bennet - Eldest Bennet sibling, Aspiring writer, College drop out, sass mouth hero.</p><p>Castiel Darcy - Legal rep for Netherfield Technologies, handsome but aloof rich dude who’s more than he seems.</p><p>Eileen Bingley - Netherfield technologies CEO, BFF to Cas, shameless flirt.</p><p>Anna Bingley - Sister to Eileen, socialite, grade A bitch.</p><p>Sam Bennet - middle Bennet Sibling, Coder at Netherfield Technologies, hug machine.</p><p>Adam Bennet - Youngest Bennet Sibling, high school senior, more trouble than he’s worth.</p><p>Becky Collins - Rep from De Bourg Firm, specializes in commercial real-estate and bad pick up lines.</p><p>Alastair Whickham - lawyer and mustache twirling bad guy.</p><p>Gabriel Fitzwilliam - lawyer and clueless observer, friend to Cas.</p><p>Claire Darcy = Cas’s kid sister, schemer of schemes, piano player.</p><p>Bobby and Ellen Gardiner - Uncle and Aunt to the Bennet siblings, unsuspecting travel companions.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The house was not what you’d call beautiful but it had been a wonderful home for many years and was loved by those who lived there. Although it looked as though the lover may have taken an interest in sadomasochism.</p><p>The garden was a mass of weeds and dead blossoms, the paint peeled along the shutters. The front door had scuff marks from various boots, having been kicked repeatedly over the years. And every single window was smudged.</p><p>Fortunately for the owners it matched the few other houses remaining at the end of the street. Three squat homes on a cracked pavement road. Each one a dirty shade of white that faded to grey in the years of New Jersey sunshine and smog.</p><p>Yes the Bennet house was ramshackle on its best day, and on its worst it was one step up from a dump. But it was home, and despite its appearance those who lived there never wished to live anywhere else. Unless of course Publishers Clearinghouse came along.</p><p>Dean smiles at it fondly and his eyes sparkle as his car roars up the drive. It’s sleek black exterior looking as out of place as the owner; for both were finely tuned machines. Almost too beautiful to look at directly. But you really wanted to look just the same.</p><p>He stretches his bow legs out of the vehicle and whistles ‘Enter Sandman’ as he walks up the garden path. It’s Friday afternoon and Dean has the next two days off. It was a rare thing to have a whole weekend off from the garage where he works, but he was not about to question the sexy, steely eyed, redhead who made schedule. Mrs. MacLeod and her son ran a clean operation and he liked his work. No reasons to complain.</p><p>Dean knew many businesses in the area had mob ties and he was thankful to be working at one that didn’t. Last thing he needed was some low level mob boss trying to get him to “join the family.” He had enough family drama for one lifetime, thank you very much.</p><p>Grabbing the mail from the box beside the door he shoves his way into the house. He kicks off his boots and sheds his coat in the front hall. Which really if we’re being honest is an open closet with a bent wire shoe rack. Two sets of boots already lay haphazardly on the floor and he almost trips over a skateboard that’s been left behind the doorjamb.</p><p>“Adam! Pick up your crap or I’m snapping the deck in half!” His deep voice echoes through the house.</p><p>A faint “SORRY!” from the basement is good enough for Dean who nods to himself and makes his way to the kitchen. Sam is at the table, notebooks strewn about, nose inches from the laptop screen, a cup of coffee at his elbow. Dean picks up the cup and takes a big gulp. It’s bitter cold and he gags, spitting it back into the mug with a grimace.</p><p>“BLECK! How old is that coffee?”</p><p>Sam blinks up at the noise, his eyes coming in and out of focus. “Uh, I dunno, what time is it?” He glances around the room.</p><p>“Almost 5:00,” Dean takes the cup to the sink and stacks it carefully on the mass of dirty dishes which have accumulated since this morning. He sighs in disgust, he hated being the clean one.</p><p>“Oh jeez I made that this morning, guess I really got caught up.” Sam rubs his face and has the nerve to look disheveled and handsome all at the same time. Sam’s long chestnut hair was pulled back in a stubby tail and his shirt sleeves were rolled up to showcase muscular forearms that didn’t look like they belonged to a senior level code writer.</p><p>Dean knew if he spent all day if front of a computer looking at little lines of code he’d have pulled all his hair out and probably come out cross eyed.</p><p>“Still working out the bugs huh?” Dean didn’t pretend to understand Sam’s work at Netherfield Technologies but he still made an effort to pay attention.</p><p>“Yeah, the launch is in 6 weeks and my supervisor is really pushing for us to get this done. The CEO even came down to rally the troops.”</p><p>“Really? Didn’t think the bigwigs ventured down to the low levels of nerd-field.” He smirks, any opportunity to remind Sam what a huge dork he was taking advantage.</p><p>“Eileen, I mean Ms. Bingley, isn’t like that Dean. She was a coder too, worked her way up through the company. Even though her family owns the damn place she put in the time.” Sam scratches the back of his head. Suddenly looking everywhere but at Dean. Well... isn’t that interesting?</p><p>“Eileen huh? Didn’t know you two were on a first name basis. You looking for a little extra credit Sammy?” Dean sticks his tongue in his cheek rather crudely and barley has time to dodge the swipe from Sam. The younger man’s reach a little longer than Dean anticipated. He jumps back from the table, as Sam’s chair squeals on the scarred linoleum floor.</p><p>“Shut up... jerk” Sam grumbles and starts to open the pile of mail Dean set on the table.</p><p>“Bite me... bitch.” He laughs and grabs the half full pot of cold coffee. Dumping it down the sink he rinses and fills it from the water cooler in the corner. Replacing the filter he pours in fresh grounds, hits start and soon the kitchen is filled with the smell of strong coffee.</p><p>He grimaces back at the sink and sighs. Rolling up his sleeves he goes to work on the pile. One food caked plate at a time. How three people made so many damn dishes he would never know.</p><p>“So get this,” Sam holds up a letter. “We got another notice about that firm wanting to buy the house.”</p><p>“Not a chance, I already told them no like fifty times.” Dean glares into the soapy water. The De Bourg Firm had been after the three remaining houses on Winchester street for years. Trying to turn it into a shopping center or something. At first they had been friendly inquiries, with generous offers to buy up the Bennet’s property. But now, two years later the offers were getting slimmer and the inquiries sounded more like threats.</p><p>“I heard Garth’s parents are going to sell.” Sam says quietly. Dean, in shock, drops the sponge wand in his hand. It splashes into the water, spraying the front of his shirt.</p><p>He can’t believe it; Garth and his parents had been their neighbors for years. They practically grew up together. Garth moved out a long time ago but he still came home at holidays and such.</p><p>“Ah man; that sucks. I was really hoping Mr. Fitzgerald wouldn’t give in to those vultures.” Dean frowns in frustration but inside his guts are churning. With only two houses left he had less leverage than before. The wolves were scratching at the cellar door, and he was running out of time.</p><p>“Don’t worry Dean, we’ll figure something out.” Sam lays a hand on Dean’s shoulder. Sam was always a glass have full kind of guy. To Dean though, the glass looked full of the brackish dishwater in front of him.</p><p>“I know man, we got this.” He tries his best to put some enthusiasm behind his voice.</p><p>“Got what?” Pipes up another voice behind them. Adam emerges from the basement. A picture of teenage slacker, Adam’s greasy hair is in need of a trim and the hand me down BON JOVI tee shirt hangs off his skinny frame.</p><p>“We got all these damn dishes you made! Jesus kid how many cups were in your room?” Dean scowls quick to hide the truth from their youngest sibling. Adam was almost 18, but he was about as far away from adulthood as you can get.</p><p>Adam rolls his eyes and flops into the kitchen chair, “so what’s happening this weekend? Any good parties?”</p><p>“Don’t you have homework?” Sam asks.</p><p>Another eye roll, “yeah but it’s Friday Sam! Only nerds do their homework on a Friday!”</p><p>“He’s got a point Sammy.” Dean grins remembering Sam always did his homework on Friday afternoons.</p><p>“Alright fine, but I’m checking it Sunday afternoon.” Sam folds his arms over his impressive chest and Adam nods silently in compliance.</p><p>“Now, as a matter of fact, I do have plans tomorrow night. Netherfield invited all the senior team leads to a mixer deal at some new club in Brooklyn. It’s called The Heart; hasn’t officially opened yet but the internet buzz is pretty positive from what I’ve read.” Sam tries his best to sound casual, but Dean can see right through that. Sam is practically vibrating with excitement.</p><p>“Will a certain Ms. Bingley be in attendance?” Dean flutters his long eyelashes at his his brothers.</p><p>“Ooh who’s that? Some babe from work?” Adam, not one to be left out of the teasing, picks up on Dean’s lead right away. And he waggles his eyebrows suggestively at Sam.</p><p>“Real mature guys, yes she will be there. So will other members of the management and legal teams. It’s actually really cool I got invited. No one else from my department did.” Sam puffs up with pride and Dean can’t fault him for that. Sam’s busted his ass for this company for years. Even got them to pay for additional school. He deserved to rub elbows with the higher ups.</p><p>“Well, have a great time Sammy. What do you think Adam; Die Hard marathon? We may even be able to spring for pizza.” Dean had no plans for this weekend, or any weekend for that matter. Most of his friends moved away after college.</p><p>And you should have too, right along with them.</p><p>Shit... The thought takes root in his mind in an instant. As soon as he thinks it, he burns with shame.</p><p>Dean had to give up his college life and dreams of becoming a writer when his dad died 5 years ago. At 24, he became legal guardian to 13 year old Adam along with an upside down mortgage and a mountain of credit card debt. Thanks to dear old dad, Dean had to drop out. He worked two jobs that first year just trying to keep them above water.</p><p>Now at 29 he was still working as a grease monkey in a garage in Hoboken. Actual writing amounted to nothing more than checks to the bill collectors or permission slips now.</p><p>But Adam was so close to graduating. Maybe if he moved out Dean would be able to take some night classes or something. He had only been a few credits shy of his degree.</p><p>Sam’s saying something and it brings him back to reality. He’s still at the sink with dish water dripping down his arms.</p><p>“Huh? Sorry I was wool gathering.”</p><p>“I said I’m allowed to bring someone. Dean you should come. It’s been forever since you went out.” Sam puts a plead behind his voice and Dean knows he’s sunk.</p><p>“I dunno, what about the kid?”</p><p>“Hey the kid is right here, and almost an adult. I can stay home for one night!” Adam protests.</p><p>“I mean maybe I could call Mrs. Tran? Last time he almost burnt the house down.” Sam continues as if Adam hasn’t spoken.</p><p>“She’s in Philly this weekend, Kevin’s looking at colleges there.” Dean purses his lips, as if deep in thought.</p><p>“Guys, this isn’t funny.” Adam whines.</p><p>Dean sighs, closing his eyes momentarily,“Alright, but no one is allowed over. Not Lou or Mike, they’re bad influences. You park it here all night. And you do your homework tomorrow before we leave.” His voice is firm and Adam stands up straighter for it.</p><p>“Absolutely, thanks Dean.” Adam grins unabashedly up at his big brothers.</p><p>Dean smiles back, all joking aside he knows Adam will be fine alone.... probably. Besides, it was one night out, not like anything significant was going to happen.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>“I’m not wearing a tie Sam!” Dean shouts from the bathroom, where he’s almost finished shaving. Sam’s in his bedroom pulling shirt after shirt out of the closet. Trying to find something suitable for their night out later.</p><p>He was right, Dean hadn’t been out in ages. Most nights he was too tired from work or had to stay up waiting for Adam to sneak back in the house. Being a parent was kind of exhausting.</p><p>But it’s not like Dean was a hermit either! He loved being around people and used to party all the time, back in the day. Night clubs, concerts, dive bars. He was always, <em>always,</em> down for a good time with anyone.</p><p>He pouts a little to himself in the mirror. Wiping the cream from his face. He was being stupid. He was 29 for God’s sakes, there was still plenty of time for fun. It just seemed like lately, he thought more about settling down and less about getting up to his old ways.</p><p>A shout from the bedroom breaks him out of his funk, “what about a jacket?” Sam calls.</p><p>Dean shakes his head, his brother is so wound up about making a good impression. Probably because the famous Ms. Bingley will be there. Dean hadn’t met her but Sam talks about her in this kind of hushed reverence. He seriously doubts Sam has said more than 2 words to her. He hopes Sam knows what he’s getting into. Crushing on your boss is never a good idea.</p><p>“No jacket! Get out of my closet, I’m a grown ass man!” This was getting ridiculous. “I can dress myself...” he mumbles. Dean frowns at his reflection in the steamy bathroom mirror.</p><p>Dark blonde hair, definitely not going gray at the temples, haphazardly styled. Bright green eyes that still looked a little tired even after 8 hours of sleep. He squints and it looked liked he was starting to get crows feet too. He tilts his square jaw from side to side, damnit he even nicked himself shaving! Whelp, this was as good as it was going to get. Hopefully it would be dark enough in the bar for no one to notice how old he looked.</p><p>With a towel slung low around his narrow hips he makes his way to the bedroom. Sam literally pulled every dress shirt Dean owns out on the bed. He can’t even see his comforter and pillows.</p><p>“You’re putting it all back dude... I am not even kidding.”</p><p>“I will, I promise. Okay which one, blue or green?” Sam holds up two almost identical button up shirts.</p><p>“Neither, I don’t need you dress me Sammy. Now get out of my room.” Dean points to the door but Sam doesn’t budge.</p><p>“I just want to make sure you dress.... appropriately.” Sam takes a minute to settle on the word but Dean can read between the lines. Don’t embarrass me, don’t blow this for me. Don’t ruin my life too... he banishes those thoughts with a wave of his hand.</p><p>“I got it! Now go away, or you’re getting a show.” And he starts to seductively bump his towel clad hips and hums a Marvin Gaye song.</p><p>“UGH Dean! Gross!” Sam drops the remaining shirts and escapes just in time for Dean’s towel to fall.</p><p>“I’ve been really trying baby! Trying to hold back this feeling for so long!” Dean belts out the words as he swings the door closed with a bang.</p><p>Walking naked over to the stereo he selects an old tape and pushes play. The same melody pours out of the speakers and he saunters over to the dresser.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>There’s nothing wrong with me, loving you! Oh no, no... Giving yourself to me could never be wrong. If the love is true!</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>He pulls a pair of dark jeans out of the drawer and pulls them on. A little tighter than he remembers, but he only has to wiggle a little to adjust himself comfortably. He glares again at the pile and out of spite selects a black v-neck tee shirt from another drawer. He’s not going there to impress anyone. No reason to get that fancy.</p><p>Putting on his rings and watch he takes one final glance in the bedroom mirror. Alright Brooklyn...</p><p>“Let’s get it on.”</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Dean flat out refuses to splurge on an Uber. So between the walk, the subway, and the second walk, it takes them over an hour to get into the city and all the way to The Heart.</p><p>There’s a short line to get in, and in the cool September air Dean kinda regrets telling Sam he didn’t want a jacket. Not that he’s going to tell him. He just shoves his hands in his pockets and does his best to will the goosebumps off his arms.</p><p>It’s a turn of the century brick warehouse, two stories tall. There’s no name out front but instead a big, neon red, broken heart. Dean can’t hear the music but he can feel the bass already pulsating out of the windows and doors.</p><p>Sam’s head swivels all around, he scans the crowd for what Dean assumes is any familiar faces. Or one face in particular.</p><p>“Dude, chill! You look like a freaking owl.” Dean whispers. Sam stops and immediately looks down at his shoes.</p><p>“Sorry, I was just trying to see if anyone I knew was here yet.”</p><p>“Right... So you said this bar isn’t officially open yet, how come there’s so many people?” Dean counts at least 20 in the line with them. Plus who knows how many more inside. He doesn’t mind though. Of all the things Dean missed the most about his old life, it was the people. He’s happier to be out of the house than he thought he’d be.</p><p>“Yeah so it’s a mixer for Netherfield Tech and the law firm representing them; that would be Derby, Shire, Fitz, &amp; Darcy.</p><p>“That’s a mouthful... but who’d want to party with a bunch of suits?” Lawyer suits being in a different class than nerd suits, in Dean’s opinion. Sam’s work friends were mostly okay. If you didn’t mind that half were social disasters and the other half were arrogant super geniuses.</p><p>“Apparently Eileen and one of the partners go way back. So they combined the companies for this party.” They’re next and Sam looks behind them one last time.</p><p>“Great, we got a bunch of nerds, and blood sucking lawyers. Is our pastor coming too?” Dean jokes as they step up to the bouncer.</p><p>“ID please.” The large bald man looks bored, but his eyes scan over the crowd. Watching out for early trouble makers.</p><p>The two men hand over their licenses and Dean’s only a little hurt when the guy barely gives his a glance. You are not too old to be here. Besides, it’s a work thing. There won’t be a whole bunch of 20 somethings running around making him feel worse.</p><p>“You with the lawyers or the techies?” He picks up a clip board to his left.”</p><p>Sam stutters, “Uh, with Netherfield. Sam Bennet. And guest.” He quickly adds.</p><p>The bouncer raises an eyebrow when he finally finds their names. He reaches down and pulls two badges on lanyards from a box near his feet.</p><p>“Looks like you fellas are on the VIP list. These will get you into the upstairs lounge. Have a good time.” He hands over the badges and the two men slip them over their heads in shock.</p><p>VIP, really?! Dean looks down at the black badge with the same red broken heart logo. Guess Sammy’s more important than he let on. But from the equally surprised look on his brother’s face it doesn’t look like he thought much of himself either.</p><p>They turn a corner and he sees people of all colors, sizes, genders, and pay grades. He sees $1,000 suits, ripped jeans and leather jackets. Cocktail dresses, and track suits. He honestly could not tell who belonged with what company in this menagerie of people. He feels a smile growing on his lips and before he knows it, he’s grinning like a fool. This was going to be fun!</p><p>The music bumps out a heart pounding beat. There’s a DJ at the back of the club next to a postage stamp sized dance floor already crowded with people. The rest of the room is a mix of black iron high top tables, dark red velvety love seats, and the longest bar Dean has ever seen. It’s solid wood and the spans the entire right hand side of the building. There’s also an open staircase to a catwalk on the second floor with a few more tall tables. Dean shivers at the open floor above. He doesn’t think he’ll be venturing up there anytime soon, VIP or not.</p><p>“Drinks first, then grab a table? Head straight to VIP? Or do you want to mingle with the common folk?” Dean has to raise his voice over the crowd and the music, but it’s not so loud you couldn’t have a conversation.</p><p>“I should probably say hello to the other department leads. Just to get some credit for coming ya know?” Sam’s already inching away and Dean suspects he may have spotted the object of his affections somewhere in the bar.</p><p>“Alright buddy, I can take a hint. Come find me when you come up for air!” Dean grins again to show no hard feelings and Sam barely nods before disappearing into the crowd. You are hopeless kid...</p><p>Dean makes a break for the bar as he spies an opening. Taping the badge absentmindedly on the bar to the beat of the music. One of the bartenders makes eye contact and notices the badge. She drops the box in her hands immediately rushes over.</p><p>“Sorry to keep you waiting sir. What can I get for you?” Her dark brown eyes widen in what Dean thinks may be first night jitters.</p><p>“Hey no sweat, can I please get a whiskey and a beer?” He sends her a winning smile and she visibly relaxes. She called him sir? Wow, this VIP thing is kind of nice.</p><p>“Of course sir, be right back.” She sets off to get his drinks. Watching the crowd behind him in the mirror, Dean’s foot starts tapping too and he just knows he’ll be dancing before long.</p><p>He can’t help it really, he just loves to dance. Hell he even secretly loved the ballroom class his mom put him in during 6th grade. Not that he’d ever admitted it at the time.</p><p>The nervous bartender is back and she slides the cold beer across the dark wood. He takes a swig as she picks up the smaller glass and holds up a bottle of whiskey so expensive Dean coughs into his beer.</p><p>“Whoa!...” cough “Sorry sweetheart...” cough “that’s a little...” cough “a little above my price range.” He feels a small burn in his chest, but it’s not just from the beer he choked down.</p><p>“I’m sorry sir, but I don’t understand... you’re VIP right?” Her already high pitched voice takes on a little whine and Dean thinks he can see tears start to form in her eyes.</p><p>“No, yeah I’m VIP. Got my badge right here.” He gives it a little wave. God he’s such a dork.</p><p>“Well if you’re VIP, you’re supposed to get the best. We were all told.” She pouts now, like he’s the one breaking the rules.</p><p>“And thank you for that, but I can’t really afford a glass of that. I’ll just stick with the beer, thanks.” He gives her another big smile hoping to cut the waterworks before someone accuses him of berating her.</p><p>“Sir, all VIP drinks are comped tonight. For the party.” She says it’s quieter and he knows it’s for his benefit. His eyes light up when he realizes what she’s saying. Sammy better kiss a lotta ass for this damn job!</p><p>“Well in that case, let’s make it a double.” He winks at her, and just like that her tears have vanished.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cast of Characters:</p><p>Dean Bennet - Eldest Bennet sibling, Aspiring writer, College drop out, sass mouth hero.</p><p>Castiel Darcy - Legal rep for Netherfield Technologies, handsome but aloof rich dude who’s more than he seems.</p><p>Eileen Bingley - Netherfield technologies CEO, BFF to Cas, shameless flirt.</p><p>Anna Bingley - Sister to Eileen, socialite, grade A bitch.</p><p>Sam Bennet - middle Bennet Sibling, Coder at Netherfield Technologies, hug machine.</p><p>Adam Bennet - Youngest Bennet Sibling, high school senior, more trouble than he’s worth.</p><p>Becky Collins - Rep from De Bourg Firm, specializes in commercial real-estate and bad pick up lines.</p><p>Alastair Whickham - lawyer and mustache twirling bad guy.</p><p>Gabriel Fitzwilliam - lawyer and clueless observer, friend to Cas.</p><p>Claire Darcy = Cas’s kid sister, schemer of schemes, piano player.</p><p>Bobby and Ellen Gardiner - Uncle and Aunt to the Bennet siblings, unsuspecting travel companions.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean is having the time of his life. After the mishap with the bartender he tucks the badge inside his shirt. Free drinks were great but he didn’t like the way people were eyeballing him. A few people even came to chat him up, but quickly bailed when they realized he wasn’t anyone important. Once he got it out of sight though things went a lot smoother.</p><p>He dances with a tall red head who has a goofy European name, and looks like she walked straight out of a magazine. And later with a British guy named Mick who gets a little handsy on the way back to a table. Dean accepts both their numbers but doesn’t really have any intention of calling them. He was just here for a good time.</p><p>He‘s well into his third beer and talking with a guy named Aaron about Vonnegut; when he spies Sam being lead off the dance floor by a woman Dean doesn’t recognize. Sam leans down to say something in her ear and she throws her head back in a boisterous laugh Dean can hear from 10 feet away. Oh this has got to be Eileen he thinks. She was certainly pretty; long dark hair, tight jeans, and a kind of black lacy top designed to get men thinking about lingerie.</p><p>They head up the stairs to the VIP area, her hand resting comfortably on his arm for support. Dean decides right then and there it’s time to meet this mystery woman. Fear of heights be damned.</p><p>“Hey Aaron, I’m sorry but I gotta bail.” He frowns a little. Aaron is cute, funny, and his favorite book was Player Piano. Dean knows he’s losing out on a potentially good thing by running off like this. But if he probably won’t get another opportunity to see Eileen ever again.</p><p>He strides away, before Aaron can even start objecting, and reaches the staircase. Taking a deep breath, he looks up, and up, and up some more till he sees the top. Thirty steps, it has a hand rail, you can do it Dean.</p><p>He grips the cool metal and feels the vibration of the speakers through the smooth surface. Ascending slowly he pauses on the landing to close his eyes. The colored lights swirl behind his eyelids, he takes a calming breath. Half way there, don’t look over the edge. Do not look over the edge!</p><p>He looks over the edge and the floor sways beneath him. Gripping the rail even tighter he feels his heart galloping in his chest. Someone bumps him on the shoulder and it snaps him out of the white knuckled terror. He takes the last steps two at a time and finally makes it to the top.</p><p>Breathing heavily, he sees another bouncer standing by watching him closely. Hands on his knees now he gives the guy a “one minute” sign and inhales deeply through his nose. And out through the mouth. You are fine, it’s fine.</p><p>“Hey, that last step is a doozy huh?” Dean laughs shakily.</p><p>“Badge?” The young man asks.</p><p>“Yup sorry right here.” Dean pulls the badge out of his shirt.</p><p>He unclips an actual velvet rope and motions for Dean to head in. Dean breathes a sigh of relief when solid floor is beneath his feet. Apparently the catwalk he saw was only part of the VIP area.</p><p>Beyond the rope is another bar and seating area. More couches sitting in pairs, larger than the ones down below, along with something like a leather coffee table slash ottoman in front of them.</p><p>There’s about three dozen people spread out over the space. A fair mix of men and women, mostly his age or older. Sam looks to be about the youngest person in the room.</p><p>He standing with Eileen and a different redhead who wears a bored expression. Apart from the hair color there are enough physical similarities between her and Eileen that Dean pegs them as some kind of relatives. He realizes he’s been staring for a bit, he walks over the the trio.</p><p>“Hey Sam.” And they all turn his direction. “wanna introduce me?” Dean smiles as two sets of eyes look him up and down. He knows he’s being checked out, but given the company he doesn’t really mind.</p><p>“Oh hey, sorry! I guess we got caught up. Eileen, Anna, this is my brother Dean. Dean this is Eileen and Anna Bingley.” Sam looks a little uncomfortable but then again social situations make him nervous.</p><p>“Good to meet you, Sam talks a lot about you, I.... I mean your.... company. The company.” He shakes Eileen’s hand a little vigorously. Why is he nervous?</p><p>“Likewise, Sam’s told me a lot about you too. His big brother, the writer.” Eileen smiles warmly and he knows she’s not teasing him. Still, he balks at the compliment, he hasn’t written a damn thing in years.</p><p>“A writer are you? Have we read anything of yours?” Anna Bingley also smiles but it’s about a warm as Reykjavik in January. She does not offer to shake his hand either.</p><p>“Not unless you taught at NYU about a thousand years ago. Strictly unpublished I’m afraid. Sam just likes to brag about me.” Dean chuckles trying to hide the embarrassment of being called out like that.</p><p>“Ah, I see.” Anna glances sideways at her sister.</p><p>“Are you enjoying the party?” Eileen asks.</p><p>“Yeah it’s been awesome, thanks again for the VIP treatment. Kinda feels like being famous ya know?”</p><p>Anna stifles a laugh into a cough and Eileen glares at her.</p><p>“So Anna, do you work at Netherfield too?” Dean is grasping at any topic to get the conversation off of him.</p><p>“God no, codes and keystrokes are not my forte.” She tips back a flute of champagne and Dean spies a mostly full bottle of Dom Perignon chilling in a bucket on their table, right next to an empty one. Shit these ladies are rich, rich.</p><p>“Okay, so what do you do?” Uh oh, that came out a little blunt and he sees Sam pinch the bridge of his nose.</p><p>“Currently I’m a woman of many hobbies; I travel, I volunteer, I plan parties like this one.”</p><p>So you’re unemployed, living off your trust fund or Daddy’s pocket book huh? He has no idea why he wants to jump to that level of petty. But she laughed at him, and he wants to wipe that smug smile off her face.</p><p>“Well the party is a hit. You should be proud.” There not petty at all. Great job Dean.</p><p>“I am, extremely.” She smirks again and Dean’s going to need a drink to deal with this bitch all night.</p><p>“Anyone need a refill? I’m going to grab a drink.” He thumbs towards the bar behind them.</p><p>Three no’s so Dean excuses himself but as he walks away he swears he hears Anna say, “Guess he doesn’t get out much.”</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>The bar is a smaller version of the main floor, with only one bartender, so he has to wait a minute for service. Still replaying the backhanded comments from Anna he doesn’t notice someone has come right up beside him till he feels an arm clad in wool brush past the skin of his bicep. He turns to apologize out of habit and is pinned to the spot by the bluest goddamn eyes he’s ever seen.</p><p>Dean may not have written in a while but he could compose verse after verse about those eyes alone.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Blue like a summer sky; laying on a blanket, the grass tickling his bare feet, a warm breeze carding through his hair. A rough kiss, pressing him down, hands roving all over his body...</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Jesus... He feels like his blood has left his brain and is hurtling south. He’s staring at the owner of these amazing eyes unable to do more than blink back at them. He shivers involuntarily.</p><p>“I beg your pardon.” The man’s gruff voice pulls Dean out of one fantasy and right into another. Holy shit that voice! Dean would fall to his knees right now if that voice asked him to, and do whatever he was told. What has gotten into him?</p><p>“Yeah sorry, guess I’ve had a little too much to drink.” But he hasn’t though. Three beers and a double whiskey is nothing over the course of several hours. He feels sober, or at most mildly tipsy.</p><p>“Maybe switch to water, if you can’t handle your consumption.” The man doesn’t smile and Dean prickles under the accusation.</p><p>“Yeah good plan.” Captain obvious...</p><p>“Could I get a water please?” He turns to the bartender now and they pull out a cold bottle of what Dean’s dad called glorified tap water.</p><p>Unscrewing the cap he takes a long drink and he can feel the other man staring at him. Clearly checking him out. Wiping his hand on the side of his jeans Dean holds out a hand, smiling flirtatiously.</p><p>“Hi, I’m Dean. And you are?”</p><p>“Castiel.” He looks down at Dean’s outstretched hand like he just been offered a severed head. Guess Dean’s on his own here. He grabs Castiel’s hand to shake it and as their palms connect Dean feels another roll of lust in his gut. This could be interesting. He dials up his smile a little more.</p><p>“Castiel huh, cool name. Does it mean something?”</p><p>“I believe it’s a biblical name. An angel of some sort.” Castiel frowns, as if this line of questioning bothers him.</p><p>An angel? The man looks more like a devil with that scowl on his face.</p><p>“So what do you do Castiel? You’re not with the Netherfield crew I assume.” It’s Dean’s turn to look him up and down and no Castiel definitely does not crunch code all day.</p><p>His suit is dark grey, and it looks like it costs more than double Dean’s mortgage payment. Has to be custom tailored, it fits his body like a second skin; crisp light grey shirt underneath, two buttons open at the collar, no tie. No this guys lives in a suit. He has to be a lawyer. Albeit a very sexy one.</p><p>Forgetting the clothes, yes please let’s lose the clothes, Castiel himself is custom tailored to Dean’s specifications. Dark brown hair, styled to look like the man didn’t give a damn about it. 5 o’clock shadow covers a strong jaw, complete with generous lips Dean just wants to sink his teeth into.</p><p>“I’m a lawyer.” Castiel bristles again at the question. Despite his libido working overtime Dean gets the feeling this guy doesn’t want anything to do with him. He cannot get a read on this guy, or himself for that matter.</p><p>Dean smirks and cocks a hip on the bar stool. If he’s going to break through Castiel’s defenses he’s going to have to go all Flynn Ryder on him, full smolder. No holding back.</p><p>But just as he opens his mouth to offer up one of his best lines, Castiel turns to him.</p><p>“Excuse me.” He growls out, then just up and walks away. What the hell was going on?</p><p>Dean is stumped, whoever Castiel was Dean had never met a person more obtuse. Too bad, the man was hot enough to put all Dean’s glands into overdrive. And that hadn’t happened in quite some time.</p><p>He sighs, guess he won’t be seeing that guy again. Turning back to the bar he catches the server’s eye. “Could I get a whiskey please?”</p><p>Sam comes up next to him, “Hey, how’s it going?”</p><p>“I just met the strangest man...” Dean is still scratching his head after Castiel’s quick departure.</p><p>Sam stares at Dean, “Okay... anyway Eileen and I are going to head back to the dance floor. You good? You’re not ready to go yet right?”</p><p>Dean sighs at his brother’s puppy dog eyes. He was ready to call it a night but Sam, he looked so damn happy with Eileen Dean just couldn’t say no.</p><p>He claps a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Yeah I’m good.”</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Despite wanting to leave, Dean decides to make the most of it. He joins Sam and Eileen on the dance floor for a bit. Laughing at his brother’s attempts at finessing some moves, which given his stature is pretty laughable. He dances with several other very attractive people which does wonders for his ego.</p><p>He treats himself to another whiskey and if he passes mildly tipsy on the way to possibly drunk, well that was nobody’s business but his. Thoughts of his odd interaction with Castiel long forgotten.</p><p>It’s getting near last call and the room is spinning a little bit. He thinks it may be time to splash some water on his face, find Sam, call it a night. As much fun as he was having, Dean was getting tired. And the beat that thrilled him earlier now banged in his head like a drum.</p><p>He heads to the bathroom and takes care of what he needs to. At the sink he grins at his reflection. He may have started the night feeling a little out of place but he was having fun with Sam and Eileen. It was really nice to get out and away from his his normal life for a while.</p><p>He’s about to exit the bathroom when he hears a gravely voice in the hall. It’s that Castiel guy and it sounds like his annoyed with someone else. He pushes on the door lightly, hoping it’s not a creaky one.</p><p>“I don’t know what your referring to, all I did was say hello.” Castiel says.</p><p>“Yeah, it looked a little more than hello, he was flirting Cas. Don’t you pay attention?” It was Eileen! She was talking to Castiel right outside the door. Wait are they friends?!</p><p>“You seem to know a lot about flirting, given your behavior tonight.” Castiel retorts and Eileen snickers.</p><p>“Last I check Sam was unattached. I’m not his direct supervisor, it’s not completely unethical.” She sounds a little defensive now. Dean peers through the crack in the door and he can see her frowning at Castiel.</p><p>“As your attorney I’d advise against any work place relations.”</p><p>Dean sees her stifle another laugh. If he’s Eileen’s attorney he must work for that fancy law firm Sam mentioned.</p><p>“God Mr. Darcy you sound like an old grump. Forget attorney mode for a minute; what about as my friend, what do you say?”</p><p>“As your friend, Ms. Bingley I say... he’s built like a lumberjack and has the mannerisms of a golden retriever. You are smitten.” His voice softens a little and Dean can see him run a hand affectionately down her arm. Huh, guess he’s not a total asshole.</p><p>“His brother’s pretty cute too.” She says. And Dean’s ears perk up.</p><p>Castiel sighs, “He was barely tolerable, handsome sure, but the man could hardly string a sentence together. Not at all my type.”</p><p>Barely tolerable? What the fuck is that supposed to mean. Dean forgets he’s hiding for a minute and almost barges out the door.</p><p>“He looked an awful lot like your type upstairs.” She grins again but Castiel doesn’t take the bait.</p><p>“You had better return to your eye candy and enjoy his smiles, you’re wasting your time talking to me.”</p><p>Okay so definitely an asshole. Dean sees Eileen pout and turn back down the hall. Oh shit! Cas is heading his way. He does not want to get caught eavesdropping especially when he was the topic of conversation.</p><p>Quickly he rushes back to a stall and hides while the door opens. Once he hears another stall shut he bolts out of the bathroom.</p><p>He practically runs into Sam as he rounds the corner.</p><p>“Hey, woah slow down. I was just coming to find you. There’s an after party at this hotel. Eileen wanted to know if we were interested.”</p><p>“After party? Who does she think she is, Beyoncé?”</p><p>“Dean dont be a dick.”</p><p>“I’m not, it’s just... a lot Sam. Don’t you feel a little out of place with these people?”</p><p>Sam frowns.</p><p>“Yeah, I mean maybe a little. But when are we going to have an opportunity to do this again?”</p><p>“Well I’m exhausted, maybe you can party till the wee hours but I am too old. I gotta go home.”</p><p>Sam sighs, he looks behind him to where Eileen and Anna are standing. One smiling, one glaring; looking different as night an day. He turns back to Dean.</p><p>“Fine, you’re right. It is pretty late, and Adam is home by himself.”</p><p>Dean winces, he completely forgot about Adam. This night had been amazing; and for the first time in years he wasn’t someone’s guardian, he was just himself.</p><p>“Yeah, the kid’s probably still up playing video games. We should get home.”</p><p>“Okay, let me just go say goodbye to Eileen.”</p><p>“Sure, tell her I said thank you.”</p><p>“You should tell her yourself.” He raises a brow at his older brother.</p><p>“Nah, don’t want to step on your attempt at a goodnight kiss.” He winks, or possibly blinks with one eye half closed. The whiskey is catching up to him now.</p><p>Sam blushes and turns to go. Dean sees Castiel come up beside Anna and she whispers something to him while looking straight at Dean.</p><p>Castiel’s eyes lock onto Dean’s as he nods about whatever Anna told him. Dean feels exposed and given both of their opinions of him, he’s sure whatever she said wasn’t flattering.</p><p>Well fuck them, they are not going to keep making him feel inferior. He squares his shoulders up, immediately stone cold sober. He stalks over to where the four of them are standing. Turning his best smile to Eileen he takes her hand.</p><p>“Eileen, thank you so much for inviting us. I think I can speak for Sam when I say we had a terrific time.”</p><p>Sam looks a little confused, he was probably about to say the same thing. All four of them are staring now. Dean knows he has a choice here. He can tell them all to go to hell and ruin Sam’s chances with Eileen (or even possibly his job).</p><p>Or he can be the bigger person, they might not care if he ever sees them again, but Sam does. And no matter how mad he feels, his family’s pride is most important</p><p>But maybe he can do both.</p><p>He then turns to Anna and the look of surprise on her face when he takes her hand in his is almost worth it, almost.</p><p>“I just want to say, it was great meeting you. It’s rare for Sam and I to get a night out on the town. But you certainly made it memorable.” His voice drips with sincerity, he going to make an impression on her, one way or another.</p><p>Anna plants a venomous smile on her face. “Well I’m glad the... experience was enjoyable. We won’t be forgetting it anytime soon. That’s for sure.”</p><p>He leans down close to her, hoping the music is loud enough where Sam and Eileen can’t hear all of this.</p><p>“Oh I think as soon as I’m out of your sight you won’t give me a thought ever again. Which is completely understandable, I know my presence has been barely tolerable to someone of your... stature.”</p><p>His eyes hold hers but he hears Castiel’s sharp intake of breath next to her. Gotcha fucker.</p><p>Dean straightens and smiles wide. His eyes dancing with vindication. Finally he turns to Castiel.</p><p>“Darcy.”</p><p>He holds out his hand. This time Castiel does know what to do with it and he grips it tightly in his own.</p><p>“Bennet.”</p><p>Castiel’s eyes are hard like flint. A moment of tension passes between them. He can imagine this is what Castiel looks like in the court room. It’s an intimidating sight, but for Dean there’s an undercurrent of desire that his anger didn’t seem to quell.</p><p>And as quickly as it appears it’s gone.</p><p>Dean looks over to his brother who, to his credit, has the decency to look at Dean like he does this sort of thing all the time.</p><p>“You all have a good night.” Dean says and heads towards he exit. Not waiting for Sam to follow.</p><p>Once outside he takes in a deep breath of cool night air. That was probably a little over the top, but they were just so... stuck up!</p><p>“Uh Dean?” Sam’s waiting behind him. “Is everything okay?”</p><p>“I’ll tell you about it in the car.” Dean sighs</p><p>“The car?” Sam stands beside him now.</p><p>“Yeah, we’re taking an Uber home. I’m too tired to deal with the subway.” Dean stifles a yawn; now that he’s coming down from the adrenaline rush he’s becoming more aware of his fatigue.</p><p>Ten minutes later their ride shows up and silently they climb in the back seat. The city lights fade to black as Dean’s eyes slip close. Hopefully their driver is trustworthy, cause Dean’s ready to check out at any moment.</p><p>“What happened back there?” Sam’s voice softly breaks through the silence.</p><p>“Did I embarrass you Sammy?” Dean still has his eyes closed, his arms folded across his chest.</p><p>“No, it just seemed like something happened between you and Mr. Darcy.”</p><p>Dean snorts, “We’re calling him Mr. Darcy now?”</p><p>“I guess I don’t know what we’re calling him. Did he do something to offend you Dean?”</p><p>“Let’s just say he made up his mind about me real quick. Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m going to see the guy again. I hope I didn’t mess things up too bad for you and Eileen.”</p><p>“I’m not worried about her, she gave me her personal number well before you said your colorful goodbyes.”</p><p>Dean does open his eyes at the admission and sits upright.</p><p>“You dog! Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>“It’s not a big deal Dean.”</p><p>“It’s a very big deal, you really like her. And from what I can see she likes you too.”</p><p>“Oh cause you’re an expert on love.”</p><p>“Ah see, I didn’t say love, you did. But yeah sure, I can see when two people are crazy about each other.” He settles back into the seat again. His little brother’s in love. Who would have thought.</p><p>“Have you ever felt that way about someone?” Sam’s voice is small, he sounds so much younger than his 25 years.</p><p>“Nah, I’m like a penguin.”</p><p>“... A what?”</p><p>“A penguin, you know they bring the pebble and they stay with that one penguin forever?”</p><p>“Dean... that was a cartoon.”</p><p>“I know it was a cartoon Sammy! But the concept is accurate.”</p><p>“What are you saying then?”</p><p>“I’m saying that I’m waiting for that big, all consuming, life altering love. And if I’m ever settling down it will be for keeps. Or if that never happens I’ll be a lonely, old man, like Dad.”</p><p>“It’ll happen Dean, you deserve to have that kind of love.”</p><p>“Thanks Sam, now don’t wake me up till we get home.”</p><p>He closes his eyes and as he nods off the thrill from sparring with Castiel still hums in his blood. When they were practically nose to nose, Dean swore he felt something pass between them. Too bad the guy was a total prick.</p><p>Good riddance Mr. Darcy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter 3 to be posted on Monday</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A little glimpse into the mind of Mr. Darcy</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel yawns into the back of his hand as the town car pulls up to his building. He spares his watch a glance and shakes his head in disbelief; almost 4:00 am. He drags his hands through his dark hair, tugging at it in exhaustion.</p><p>His driver comes around to open his door and he steps out onto the curb.</p><p>“Thank you Arthur.”</p><p>“Have a good... morning, sir.” Arthur tips him a knowing smile.</p><p>“You too, I don’t think I’ll be heading to Pemberley till late afternoon.”</p><p>“Very good sir.” And with a nod he’s off, to bed himself Castiel assumes.</p><p>God he could throttle Eileen and Anna. He rolls his eyes and steps into the plush lobby. It was entirely their fault he was getting home at this ungodly hour.</p><p>Eileen begged him to go to that ridiculous after party, which consisted of the three of them and a few other couples from their respective offices. Then she pouted the entire time because that giant boy toy she latched herself to decided not to come.</p><p>Then to make matters worse Anna stole his phone so he couldn’t call for his driver. He sounded like a petulant brat but she’d been at that a lot lately. The adolescent behavior she engaged in with him was getting on his nerves.</p><p>There was no door man on duty this early but the elevator was secure. Yawning again he swipes his card, punches in the code. The doors slide open and he swipes his card a second time for his floor.</p><p>Another level of security, it kept the penthouse off limits to anyone curious enough to try and venture to the top floor.</p><p>In the privacy of the elevator he stretches and groans. He should be getting up about now, not crawling into bed. He wasn’t into the club scene; never had been. But that, he supposes, is the price of friendship.</p><p>When Eileen first proposed the idea of a multi company mixer he hadn’t given it much thought.</p><p>The doors to his apartment open and he heads straight back to the bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights as he goes.</p><p>The city shining through the giant windows are enough to guide his way; even at this time of night (day?) New York was never fully dark.</p><p>He honestly believed the firm would write her a check for their half of the expenses and that would be the end of it. But no, Castiel had to attend. He had to show his partners this direct relationship was not only beneficial but profitable. He wasn’t a business man, what did he care about profits?</p><p>He should have known; when it came to his partners. Profits were priority one; and keeping clients happy was right behind them.</p><p>So naturally he’d be required to not only maintain the firm’s relationship with Netherfield but also be sure no one at the party misbehaved. He wasn’t a damn babysitter either.</p><p>In the bedroom he strips off his suit, stuffing it in a dry cleaning bag. Shoes going to the closet in their assigned slot. Clad in a pair of black boxer briefs he flops right into bed and immediately drops off to sleep.</p><p>Random snip its of the evening flashing through his subconscious.</p><p>
  <em>The colored lights swirling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The sound of a champagne cork popping.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The vibration of bass through his body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The chill of vodka and tonic on his tongue.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The beauty of those green eyes; so open and full of possibilities. And while Castiel’s eyes were guarded, Dean’s were completely transparent.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They stared at him like they could see right through the carefully crafted mask Castiel put on in public.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like they knew him; maybe in all of his lives.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Every emotion passed through them last night. Joy, surprise, anger, embarrassment, lust. Castiel saw them all in Dean’s eyes and he envied the other man’s freedom.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Most of the time it wasn’t acceptable for him to act on his feelings. But really Castiel had never been able to feel that deeply, let alone share his feelings with anyone else.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he wanted to; desperately.</em>
</p><p>Castiel wakes with a start; the clock on his nightstand showing 12:38pm. He sighs, he supposes that’s as much rest as he’ll get today.</p><p>Hands behind his head, he lays there for a minute contemplating going back to sleep. But Claire was expecting him, and she’d only be more curious if he canceled on her.</p><p>Rising stiffly, he pads over to the adjoining bathroom.</p><p>The soft lights come on automatically, luckily they’re still set to night mode. But even in the flattering lighting he frowns at his reflection.</p><p>He rubs his hands over the stubble on his jaw. His face looks puffy and sallow. He has bags the size of craters under his eyes. How was it possible at 32 he looked so old?</p><p>A night of partying with a bunch of 20 somethings probably didn’t help.</p><p>That kind of thinking was only going to make him feel worse. His friends were basically his age, and it’s not like he made a habit of spending time with anyone else.</p><p>
  <strong>That’s because all you do is work!</strong>
</p><p>True, Castiel had been busy for months on a deal with a smaller real estate firm.</p><p>He steps into the massive shower. Water immediately running hot from multiple jets. The spray pummels his body as he tips his head down to work out the tension in his neck.</p><p>The De Bourg firm was representing a developer who was having trouble acquiring one last piece of residential property.</p><p>Castiel and his team had been brought in solely for muscle. He had only met her a handful of times but the attorney with De Bourg had been struggling with the sellers.</p><p>She’s had nearly two years to complete the contracts that would allow her client to buy out three houses. With only one remaining it was a miracle they hadn’t fired her already.</p><p>If the tenacious Ms. Collins kept insisting to be the one who met with the sellers he was going to have to get directly involved. So far she had rebuffed every attempt for his team to meet with her.</p><p>His paralegal passed him some intel and he had a suspicion she bribed one of sellers. He just didn’t know if he could prove it.</p><p>
  <strong>Look you’re working right now, on a Sunday!</strong>
</p><p>He shakes his head, sending water droplets all over the frosted glass. He couldn’t seem to switch his brain off, ever.</p><p>Even last night his mind was on briefings that needed adjustment, he had been distracted and bumped into Dean without thinking.</p><p>Once he made eye contact however; all thoughts of work, of anything, left his mind in an instant.</p><p>It felt silly to call a man beautiful, but Castiel couldn’t think of another word to describe Dean.</p><p>Breathtaking, ruggedly handsome, walking sex god.</p><p>Jesus, he was pathetic. Dean was handsome, Castiel had admitted that to Eileen. But what he didn’t admit to her was how much Dean had made an impact on him.</p><p>But did he try to engage Dean in conversation? Perhaps offer to meet up again for drinks, or dinner, or the dancing he seemed so fond of?</p><p>No! He insulted him, publicly and privately; which caused a huge scene. Anna got a real kick out of that. She was shaking with laughter in the limo. “I think you insulted the boy’s honor Castiel!”</p><p>This is why he should have just stayed home...</p><p>He snaps off the shower forcefully and towels off in a huff.</p><p>No, it’s not his fault. He was allowed to socialize however he wishes; even if he was wretched at it.</p><p>How was he supposed to know Dean would overhear his conversation with Eileen? If anything he should be mad. Dean had been eavesdropping after all!</p><p>Oh God, the fire in those eyes once he confronted him. Castiel would be lying if he said he wasn’t affected by it, physically.</p><p>It took him every ounce of control not to grab the man and kiss him senseless.</p><p>Probably because you haven’t had sex, let alone a date in 18 months!</p><p>That would certainly explain the reaction he had to Dean last night.</p><p>He sighs again, selecting a pair of navy trousers from the closet. It had been a long time since he’d seen anyone socially.</p><p>To be fair, he found most people boring. It was only rare circumstances that he was friends with Eileen in the first place. He pulls on a grey sweater over a white dress shirt, it’s what amounted to casual wear for Castiel, never mind the fact it was cashmere.</p><p>He just needed to blow off some steam. Work was stressing him out too much. Once he did that, he was certain all thoughts of Dean Bennet would be eradicated from his mind.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Claire was abnormally quiet at dinner. They were in the middle of their second course when he began to notice something was amiss.</p><p>She’s staring out the window at the rain soaked grounds, her fork resting in her hand. But Castiel can see she is only pretending to eat and hasn’t moved a muscle for the last few minutes.</p><p>He watches her from his seat across the table. They’re in the more casual dining space this evening. Far enough away from the public areas of the house where they wouldn’t be bothered, even if Pemberley had been open to visitors on a Sunday.</p><p>With part of their lofty inheritance Castiel and Claire had the home, which both Darcy children grew up in, converted into a public space for most of the year. The gardens and grounds, the extensive library, sculpture and portrait gallery, and several sitting rooms were all open to the public six days a week, from April through November.</p><p>Their mother had been an artist, as well as a teacher, and she had always wanted a sort of communal space for people to meet. An artist’s hovel, his father often joked. But never too harshly.</p><p>Castiel knew it was something his mother had always wanted but in life could never devise a way to do so. Instead she funded scholarships, had benefits for musicians and artists directly through the school. She would have given every last penny if father would have let her.</p><p>After they died, Castiel worked for over a year to make his mother’s dream come true.</p><p>It was connected with several universities and most of the day graduate students flocked in and out of the buildings by the dozens. Discussing art, music, books. His mother would have loved it. His father would have grumbled about the riff raff in his study.</p><p>The private areas of the home were closed, and the additional security he hired allowed him some peace of mind as Claire still chose to stay there often.</p><p>He turns his focus back to her, trying to think of a topic that could get her talking.</p><p>Most of the time his younger sister was chattering away throughout the entire meal. She had a very active social life at her high school, belonged to several clubs, volunteered regularly, and was a very accomplished musician.</p><p>All of those offered up a plethora of things to talk about, but tonight she only spoke when he asked her a question directly. And even then it was a one or two word answer. Something was wrong.</p><p>“I heard there is going to be a delivery from that artist in Spain you were so fond of.” Claire had a passion for art. Last year they were on a holiday (i.e. work trip) when she met the most charming street artist named Kaia.</p><p>At first Castiel was worried the girl was trying to get something from Claire, but once he met her himself he was blown away by how little she cared for their wealth or status.</p><p>His attitude in that regard probably jeopardized more relationships than he cared to admit. But luckily for him, and Claire, his initial reservations did not ruin the friendship she had made.</p><p>In fact, Ms. Nieves and Claire regularly exchanged emails and she was sending Claire a new painting to display at Pemberley. Surely the mention of that would be enough to get her out of her black mood.</p><p>“I’m sorry, what did you say Castiel?” Claire wasn’t even listening. This was not like her at all.</p><p>“Claire, is everything alright?” He puts his hand on hers across the table. She stares down at it and when she raises her blue eyes to meet his own they’re filled with tears.</p><p>“I just not feeling very well today Castiel. Would you mind if I excused myself?” Her voice trembling with every word. Before he can even answer she pushes back abruptly from the table and runs out of the room.</p><p>Castiel tries to go after her, but she’s already gone. He sits down again staring at the half eaten meal between them.</p><p>The house keeper comes in to collect their plates and immediately sees Claire has left the room.</p><p>“Oh dear, I was afraid she’d have some trouble, especially today.”</p><p>Castiel tilts his head in confusion. “Ms. Hanscome, what do you mean especially today?”</p><p>Ms. Hansome actually blushes and Castiel is fairly certain she hadn’t meant to say that out loud.</p><p>“Sorry Mr. Darcy, I shouldn’t have spoke out like that.”</p><p>He frowns, he’s never made his employees feel like they couldn’t speak their minds. It was something his father insisted upon. Just because you signed someone’s paycheck didn’t mean they couldn’t have opinions. They may be wrong, but they could certainly have them.</p><p>“Donna, you know that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>“Sorry, guess I’m a little out of sorts too. We’re all feeling a bit of Ms.Darcy’s sadness. It’s been a year, today, since her friend... passed. They held a memorial at the school on Friday, and she’s been a wreck ever since.”</p><p>Castiel’s heart drops; that was today? No wonder she was so upset. His fists clenched under the table. How much more trauma was he going to allow his family to be subject to?</p><p>Donna must be able to see his barely contained rage because she wobbles the plate in her hands. He stops himself, this is not the time or place to take out his frustrations.</p><p>“My apologies, I didn’t realize that was today. Should I go talk to her?” He wanted to. He wanted to go pull Claire into his arms and tell her he was going to fix everything.</p><p>But it had been a year, and he had done nothing to give her cause to believe him. He was failing her.</p><p>“I think she just wants to be left alone.”</p><p>He nods silently as she clears away the rest of their dishes.</p><p>There was nothing more he could do here. He might as well head home, maybe he could get a little work done after all.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>On the drive back from Pemberley his phone pings rapidly in his jacket pocket. It’s a message from Eileen. But it makes about as much sense as that time an intern accidentally translated a whole case file into Russian.</p><p>
  <strong>Help! </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sam!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Promotion! </strong>
</p><p><strong>Noooooo :( :(</strong> </p><p>***</p><p>
  <strong>What are you talking about?</strong>
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <strong>oh hi! aren’t you supposed to be at dinner? what happened to the no phones rule?</strong>
</p><p>***</p><p>He and Claire still followed their mother’s ‘no cell phones at family dinner’ rule. It may have been silly now that it was just the two of them. But he liked to think it kept her memory alive a little more.</p><p>
  <strong>Long story, I’m free now if you need me.</strong>
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <strong>my place? Bring the Rocky Road</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> And hurry!!!</strong>
</p><p>***</p><p>Uh oh, ice cream was Eileen’s break up comfort food. What was it with the women in his life today? How could something have gone wrong with her and Sam within 12 hours?</p><p>“Arthur, change of plans. I’ll be going to Ms. Bingley’s apartment. And I need to make a stop first.”</p><p>“Of course sir.”</p><p>30 minutes later he’s in the lobby of Eileen’s building waiting for the security guard to buzz him up.</p><p>He’s barely at her door when it’s thrown open in his face.</p><p>“Took you long enough!” She grabs the bag out of his hands and he shuts the door firmly behind him.</p><p>“Well they were out, I had to go to three stores to find Rocky Road.” He glowers at her in her silly pink bunny slippers.</p><p>“Oh! thank you for doing that. I’m sorry, I’m kind of a mess.” She sniffs a little and it looks like she may have been crying.</p><p>“What happened? Your text made no sense. And I speak fluent Bingley!” He shoves out of his jacket and tosses it over a chair.</p><p>“Harry Spangler is quitting. He’s got a stupid backer for his stupid start up and he wants to focus on that full time.” She digs two spoons out of a drawer and flops down on the sofa.</p><p>“Alright, pretend I know who that is, what does that have to do with Sam or why I had to rush over here?”</p><p>“He’s Sam’s supervisor.” She pries the lid off the carton and starts to shovel ice cream in her mouth.</p><p>“And...” he was getting exasperated now.</p><p>“And Sam was his second in command. He’s going to be promoted to head of the department. And that’s a problem because the department heads...”</p><p>“The department heads report directly to you...”</p><p>Well shit.</p><p>“Ding! Ding! Get the man a cigar! Argh!! I’m the worst! He totally deserves it. He’s worked so hard, and everyone on the team loves him. He’s going to do great.” She hiccups into her ice cream and a tear plops into the carton.</p><p>“Please don’t cry, we’ll figure something out.” She had to end things, the legal ramifications would be a nightmare.</p><p>“I have to end it, I didn’t even get to sleep with him. And he’s so sexy! I hate being the boss.”</p><p>“That’s not true, you love being the boss.” He takes a bite of melting ice cream. “Bossiness is one of your best qualities.”</p><p>“Stop trying to make me feel better.” She frowns.</p><p>“I have to try, you’re my best friend.” He says.</p><p>“I’m your only friend.” She counters.</p><p>“Also true.”</p><p>She leans her head on his shoulder, “Cas, I like him, a lot. I get all giggly like a teenager when I see him.”</p><p>“I know, I’ve seen you. But also you barely know him. Do you really want to throw your career away for someone don’t know?”</p><p>Eileen bristles at the question, “I know him plenty. We’ve worked together for over two years.”</p><p>“Not directly.”</p><p>“No...” she frowns again. “But I’ve sat in on meetings where he’s played an active roll and contributed great ideas.”</p><p>“Those sound like boss words. Not girlfriend words. What do you know about him personally?”</p><p>“I know lots of things....”</p><p>“Such as?” He takes another bite, waiting for her to answer the question.</p><p>“He has two brothers.”</p><p>Cas waits a beat.</p><p>“And he likes dogs.”</p><p>“Eileen...” Is she serious? He knew more about the woman who watered his plants!</p><p>“Damnit! I know more things, we talk like ever other day. You’re making me nervous.”</p><p>“How am I making you nervous?”</p><p>“Because you are my best friend and your opinion means a lot to me.” She grumbles into her carton.</p><p>Okay it was time for a new tactic. “So what do you talk about when you’re together?”</p><p>“You know just regular stuff. The upcoming launch, bugs in the code giving him problems. He makes this really cute face when he’s working. He gets this line right between his brows and I just want to kiss it.” She drops the spoon and hugs herself.”</p><p>“So just to repeat what you said, you talk about work. Anything non-work related? Do you have any common interests besides coding?” He was going to make her understand.</p><p>“You’re not playing fair Castiel.”</p><p>“I’m only asking you to explain the nature of your very serious relationship. Where you only talk about work, his brothers, and dogs.”</p><p>She glares at him. “Okay maybe it’s not that serious.”</p><p>Finally!</p><p>“Okay so maybe he feels the same way? Like this is a casual friendship that could maybe turn into more than friends? I don’t dispute your attraction to him.”</p><p>“Hubba hubba! You should see his abs! I caught a glimpse at the gym once, angels wept Castiel.”</p><p>She was losing focus. “Well 6 pack or not, maybe things are more superficial than they initially seemed. Crushes are like that.”</p><p>“Are you speaking as my lawyer or my friend?” She sits up and raises a perfectly groomed brow at him.</p><p>“Tonight it’s both.” He shrugs. He thinks she got the message. If he pushes her any more she might start all over again.</p><p>“Maybe it is just a crush. I’ll call him tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin the announcement, or his night.” She leans her head down again. And Cas can’t help but think she needs more time to work up to it.</p><p>He hopes it won’t come to it, but he’ll intervene further if needed.</p><p>Isn’t that what friends (or lawyers) were for?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Something is weird with the notes here so I apologize if they look confusing!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Guys?!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Adam?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sam!”</em>
</p><p>Dean is shouting to be heard over his brothers’ whoops and hollers. He’s just walking in the damn door and they’re both yelling at the top of their lungs in the living room.</p><p>“What the hell is going on? I can hear you outside!” He stands in the doorway to see them hugging and jumping up and down.</p><p>“Sam’s the man! That’s what’s going on.” Adam pats his brother on the back and sits back down to his video game.</p><p>Sam is grinning; bigger than when he finished college, bigger than when he got hired at Netherfield.</p><p>Even bigger than when he and Jessica Moore got caught skinny dipping junior year.</p><p>“What happened?” Dean is stumped.</p><p>“Harry Spangler quit today.”</p><p>“That squirrelly guy? The one who talked to me about ghosts for 90 minutes back on 4th of July? So what?”</p><p>“Well you know he’s my boss right?”</p><p>“Yeah, which is why I listened to him for 90 minutes!” Dude was certifiable; he even claimed to have fought a ghost back in college. What a weirdo!</p><p>“Well guess who’s going to be replacing him as head of the department?”</p><p>Unbelievably Sam’s smile gets bigger.</p><p>“Are you kidding?” Dean’s eyes go wide.</p><p>“Nope!”</p><p>Dean lets out his own shout and picks Sam up off the floor. A few inches anyway. Oh shit, he’s heavy!</p><p>“Son of a bitch! Sam, that’s so... so awesome! You really deserve it man.” His chest swells with pride.</p><p>Sam’s always been the best of them. He works hard, is selfless to a fault, and rarely complains when things get tough. If something good was going to happen, it couldn’t have happen to a better person.</p><p>“Tell him the best part Sam!” Adam pipes up from the couch. Not taking his eyes off the screen.</p><p>“There’s more?” Dean’s not sure if he can take any more good news. He may have thrown his back out lifting Sam.</p><p>“There is, the promotion comes with a raise... it’s 10,000 more a year.”</p><p>“10,000! As in dollars?”</p><p>“No Dean, buttons. Yes dollars! Can you believe it?”</p><p>Holy shit, that’s a lot of money. It’s more than Dean makes. Sam was going to be flush! He could do whatever he wanted with that much money.</p><p>He could do whatever he wanted... But what did Sam want? Was he going to move out? Sam was only still living at home because he couldn’t afford to live on his own. But now, he would only get promoted again, make even more money.</p><p>He could leave them behind. And Dean would be stuck here; in this crumbling heap of a house. Slowly suffocating in debt, just like his father.</p><p>Without Sam here to help out, he’s not even sure he could afford it on his own. He’d have to sell to that sleazy developer. Their family home bulldozed to make a freaking FRO-YO shop!</p><p>Stop! It’s been 30 seconds and he’s already got them out on the street? Sam’s not going to abandon them. He wouldn’t do that, right?</p><p>Dean banishes those intrusive thoughts right out of his head.</p><p>“I’m gonna hug you.” And before Sam can stop him, Dean wraps his arm around his brother. “I am so damn proud of you.”</p><p>He really is proud of him; Sam is beaming, he looks so grown up for a moment. Like this is a turning point in his life. All those years spent in front of a screen, the teasing, the late nights. It’s all paid off, he really made something of himself.</p><p>“Thanks Dean, I don’t feel like I really did anything. But thanks.”</p><p>“So Mr. $10,000 a year; where are we going?”</p><p>“Going?” Sam pulls back from the hug in confusion.</p><p>“Yeah, we need to celebrate. And you’re buying!” Dean smiles.</p><p>Sam laughs, “We can go wherever you two want. I just need to make a couple calls first.”</p><p>“I’m going to go get changed, I’m thinking barbecue!”</p><p>Adam let’s out a little “woot!” behind him as he clomps up the stairs.</p><p>He just finishes washing his hands and face when Sam leans against the bathroom doorjamb. Dean blinks through the water dripping off his face and reaches for a towel.</p><p>Whatever conversation Sam just had on the phone, he’s not smiling now.</p><p>“What’s up?” Dean asks as he pats him face dry.</p><p>“I Uh... I called Uncle Bobby. Let him know the good news.” Sam stares at the floor. Tracing a crack in the vinyl with his foot.</p><p>“Ok, so? You know Bobby’s not a big talker. If he said more than five words you know he’s proud of you. We’re all proud of you Sammy.”</p><p>“No he was fine. I also called Eileen. I hadn’t seen her today. After Harry told me, I kind of expected her to come down.”</p><p>“Wanted a little congratulatory kiss huh?” Dean smirks but it dies on his lips when Sam looks up.</p><p>“I’m so stupid, I didn’t even realize...” his eyes are wide and unfocused.</p><p>“Realize what?”</p><p>“By taking Harry’s job I report to her directly. She’s my boss now.”</p><p>“She’s the freaking CEO, isn’t she everybody’s boss?”</p><p>“Yeah but not everyone works with her directly. Most people don’t even know her.”</p><p>“Well isn’t that a good thing? You’ll get to spend more time together. Just be sure to lock the supply closet.” He tries to get Sam to smile but it’s not working.</p><p>“I don’t think I can see her anymore.” He whispers, almost to himself.</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“It’s a conflict of interest Dean. She could be accused of playing favorites. It could jeopardize both our jobs.”</p><p>“Did she say that to you?”</p><p>“No, she just congratulated me, and said she was looking forward to working on the launch together. But she sounded weird.”</p><p>“Well maybe it’s no big deal then.”</p><p>“It is a big deal! I don’t want her to ruin her career over me. She’s worked too hard to make the company what it is!”</p><p>“Hey! What about you huh? How hard have you worked? You didn’t grow up as some trust fund brat! You busted your ass to get scholarships. And you beat out all those other people for the internship at Netherfield. You deserve this Sam, you earned it. It wasn’t handed to you.”</p><p>He grips his brother’s shoulders now. Willing him to see that he was the one who needed to be careful. Not some socialite who decided she wanted to play with computers for a while.</p><p>“You need to look out for yourself Sam.”</p><p>“I am, but I really like her Dean. I just thought, maybe, we’d have a chance together.” He frowns again and trudges off to his room.</p><p>“Hey, if you want to skip dinner, I’ll tell the kid. It’s no big deal.”</p><p>“No, we can still go. You’re right, we deserve it.”</p><p>Sam closes his door leaving Dean in the hall. He hopes Eileen knows how much Sam’s willing to give up. And he really hopes she’s worth it.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>It was 11:00pm on a Tuesday and Sam is still not home. For weeks now he’s been working around the clock. Dean can count on one hand the number of times he seen his brother home and awake since the promotion.</p><p>Half the time they’re passing each other on the way to or from work. But mostly Sam doesn’t come home at all. He says been staying at a hotel in the city.</p><p>Dean recalls the fight they had about it over text the week before...</p><p>
  <strong>It’s just not convenient to come home every night. I’m spending a hour on the subway each way just to sleep in my own bed for a few hours.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>This promotion is running you ragged. If you’re not careful you’re going to burn out before the launch even gets here.</strong>
</p><p><strong>***</strong><br/>
<br/>
He acted irrationally; his earlier fears of Sam moving out clouding his judgment. He may have pushed Sam further away by yelling at him. Even if it wasn’t in person.</p><p>He needed to apologize, but Sam wasn’t answering his phone. And it didn’t seem like he was coming home tonight either.</p><p>Tomorrow; Dean had the day off. He would head into the city and go see Sam at work. His brother would talk to him face to face. And he would be able to see just how true his thoughts about Sam leaving were.</p><p>The next morning he checks Sam’s room, just in case he did show up after Dean went to bed. His comforter looks the same as the day before.</p><p>Before seeing Adam off to school he throws on a pair of track pants and a hoodie, then he jogs to the subway station and catches a train into the city.</p><p>It’s almost noon by the time he huffs the 6 blocks from the station to Netherfield. He he strolls into the lobby and up to the reception desk.</p><p>The perky blonde receptionist beams up at him. “How can I help you?”</p><p>“I’m here to see Sam Bennet.”</p><p>“Do you have an appointment?” Her smile dimming a little as she scans his appearance and her log book. “I don’t have any visitors listed for Mr. Bennet today.”</p><p>“No, he’s my brother. I was hoping to spring him for lunch.” He tries a smile of his own; most times it’s enough to get him in a door or, if he’s lucky, out of a speeding ticket.</p><p>“One moment please.” She’s full out frowning now and she turns away from him to pick up the phone.</p><p>He glances around the lobby. The decor is bright white and very modern; pretty unoriginal for a tech company if he did say so himself. And a perky, blonde behind the desk? Total cliche! They couldn’t have at least tried something different?</p><p>“Dean. Is that you?” A woman’s voice startles him from his criticisms.</p><p>He looks over and standing in the lobby, wearing some very expensive looking work out gear, are Anna Bingley and Castiel Darcy.</p><p>What are the freaking odds?</p><p>God they even look like a power couple, all posh and fit. Anna’s yoga pants hug her slim figure and her matching top highlights her toned shoulders. Castiel’s holding a gym bag, his sleeveless shirt shows off some impressive biceps. Dean wouldn’t have guessed those were hidden under his suit. Dude was kind of buff for a lawyer.</p><p>“Uh hey.” He stammers. Why were they here? Were they together?! Maybe that was why Anna was so rude to him before. He had been hitting on her boyfriend after all.</p><p>“Are you here for Sam?” Castiel asks and it’s enough to break Dean out of his trance.</p><p>“Yeah, haven’t seen the big guy in a while. I was hoping food would be motivation to pull him out of the salt mines. But I um, don’t have an appointment.” He laughs shakily, the other two don’t attempt to join him.</p><p>Castiel turns to the receptionist, “Joanna, Mr. Bennet is with us. You can buzz us through.”</p><p>Joanna stands and fumbles the receiver in her hand. “Yes sir Mr. Darcy, my apologies Mr. Bennet.” She kind of curtsies and Dean struggles with whether to laugh in her face or storm off in anger.</p><p>He didn’t need any damn favors from Darcy. He’s about to say that very thing, but they’ve both walked off leaving him and the confused Joanna staring from the desk.</p><p>He quickly follows them to a bank of elevators, Castiel selects the farthest one and it opens to an empty car.</p><p>Stepping in first Castiel goes to the panel and waits for the other two to enter before selecting a floor.</p><p>“Uh, I don’t actually know what floor Sam is on.” Dean feels embarrassed. He had no plan coming here. And now it was apparent to the two people he despised most.</p><p>“That’s alright, we’re actually going to see him as well.” Anna purrs, but her eyes are hard.</p><p>“You are? Why?” He glares at her. Immediately suspicions of the situation.</p><p>Castiel interjects before Dean can say something else snarky.</p><p>“We frequently come here to use the work out facilities, Eileen and Sam are joining us today.”</p><p>Oh well that explanation seems plausible enough... <strong>IN A PORN! </strong>Oh eww the four of them! Now that image is burned in his brain forever... he shivers in revulsion.</p><p>But really, the gym? In the middle of the day? Do rich people even work?</p><p>Dean not really caring that he was also there in the middle of the day. But it was just for lunch. That was totally different.</p><p>Plus he had just worked 10 hours yesterday, including helping rebuild a carburetor for a customer on the side. So ha! He did have an excuse for a day off.</p><p>“You should join us Dean!” Anna says. And it’s Castiel’s turn to glare at her.</p><p>“I’m not really...” he was going to say dressed for a workout. But looking down at his clothes, he was; in fact he planned to jog home from the subway after lunch. Maybe even hit the trail by the park. Shit... he couldn’t really say no could he?</p><p>“Sure, that would be great.” He answers through gritted teeth.</p><p>“Wonderful!” She turns to Castiel, completely ignoring Dean. “How is Claire? I miss your sister terribly.”</p><p>“She’s fine; as I told you at dinner last night.” Castiel growls out.</p><p>“And her interview at Sarah Lawrence went well? I desperately need to make a trip out to Pemberley before the holidays.”</p><p>“Yes, she suspects to hear back on her acceptance in the next few months.” Castiel’s voice softens a little.</p><p>“She must be thrilled. It’s such a prestigious school. She certainly will fit right in.”</p><p>“Yes, I imagine she’ll do fine. You should come by soon, I’m sure she’d love to see you.”</p><p>Dean clears his throat; they don’t even seem to care he’s standing here. He may as well be invisible to these people.</p><p>The elevator comes to a stop and the doors open to a fitness center that would rival most national chains or possibly Olympic training rooms.</p><p>Double rows of treadmills and elliptical machines lined up in showroom condition in front of brand new tv’s.</p><p>Strength training equipment, free weights, yoga blocks, resistance bands; anything you could think of had its own area. And everything looked brand new.</p><p>“Wow...” Dean’s voice barely above a whisper. Anna snorts, rather unladylike, and saunters over to a treadmill. She punches in a program and starts running vigorously.</p><p>“Sam and Eileen should be down any moment.” Castiel has been a step above polite indifference today and it’s kind of throwing Dean off. Last time they saw each other they were about to come to blows.</p><p>“Thanks, I’ll uh, I’ll just wait here then.” He plops down on an empty weight bench. He feels out of place here. Without Sam’s interaction; it’s very apparent these people were total strangers.</p><p>Castiel nods and goes off to the machine next to Anna. He quickly matches her stride and they run together; looking like a pair of thoroughbred horses.</p><p>After a while Dean can’t help but stare at Castiel’s muscular calves. His whole body a finely tuned machine. Sweat begins to darken the front of his shirt; and Dean can see it dampen his hair line. His breath coming out in heavy pants.</p><p>God the bastard was handsome, if you could get past the caustic demeanor. To some people, certainly not Dean, Castiel may even be considered beautiful.</p><p>Dean shifts a little in his seat. No matter how much he seems to fight it, every time he sees Castiel he’s thinking about how quickly he can get under him.</p><p>He feels a prickling sensation and notices Anna is staring at him, as he stares at Castiel. Oh shit, she totally caught him checking Cas out. In broad daylight, no less!</p><p>But as he’s panicking about how Anna will react she smiles at him. And it’s not cold, or crass. She arches a brows and she catches her bottom lip between her teeth.</p><p>“Dean could you be a dear and help me with some stretches? Eileen usually does it but she’s late.” As she speaks she dials down her machine to a slow walk.</p><p>Both men look at her in shock. Castiel briefly losing his footing on the treadmill.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Dean squeaks, “what did you say?”</p><p>“I asked if you could help me. Just come over here to the mat and I’ll show you what I mean.” She looks right at Dean, hops off her treadmill and struts off to a mirrored area with various resistance bands and pulleys.</p><p>He’s not sure what compels him but he’s scrambling up to meet her.</p><p>“Are you familiar with runners stretching at all?”</p><p>He looks back at Castiel who’s now staring at the tv like it’s personally offended his grandmother. He doesn’t attempt to make eye contact, with either of them.</p><p>“I’m not sure.”</p><p>“Well I’m going to lie down and I want you to help me stretch out my hamstring.”</p><p>Dean is totally confused by this sudden change in attitude from Anna. She’s barely said a dozen words to him and half of them were vaguely threatening. What does she want from him?</p><p>“Alright... I guess I’ll give it a shot.”</p><p>“Good boy.” She replies smugly. She lies down on her back and lifts her heel to her opposite knee.</p><p>“Now take your hand and put it on my ankle.”</p><p>Dean licks his lips; his heart starting to trip up in his chest. He kneels on the floor in front of Anna. Grasping her ankle lightly he sits there for a minute. Her skin warm beneath his hand.</p><p>“Okay, now what?”</p><p>“Now I’m going to raise up my leg and you’re going to push it back further, behind my head.”</p><p>He has to readjust his placement on the floor and when he looks into the mirror behind her, he can’t help but notice she’s put them in a very compromising position</p><p>There’s a hand on his cheek and Anna is tilting his head back in her direction. She begins to raise her leg and once it’s fully extended he puts pressure on her ankle and pushes her leg back.</p><p>She lets out what can only be described as a small moan and there’s a thump behind them. He looks over and Castiel’s water bottle has fallen on the floor.</p><p>He looks back at her. “What are you doing Anna?” The question slips out without him thinking, and she grins devilishly beneath him.</p><p>“We are stretching, while Mr. Darcy pretends to watch the news.” She says somewhat quietly to Dean. And then a little louder, “would you care to join us Castiel?”</p><p>Dean blushes furiously, embarrassed to have fallen so easily into a trap. But he’s not really sure who it is aimed for.</p><p>“Anna, I assume you only have two motives for whatever it is you’re up to. Either way, I would only interfere.” Castiel’s deep voice echoes through the room.</p><p>“Ooh, whatever could he mean Mr. Bennet?” She arches her back a little and Dean has to shut his eyes. Stop her!! He is absolutely not having a three way with these people!</p><p>“Uh, I don’t think he would mind if you asked him directly?” Dean wants to let go. He needs to let go. <em>It’s not like a porno... it’s not like a porno</em>.</p><p>Castiel responds without being asked; “Well for one, you two could be having a private conversation. Or, more likely, you are fully aware of your physical appearance and are displaying it in such a way to draw attention. If it’s the first option, I would only get in your way. And if it’s the second, well I can certainly admire you both better from here.”</p><p>Dean’s eyes fly open, he abruptly lets go and the lack of resistance causes Anna’s leg to flop on the floor. She huffs indignantly at the sudden motion.</p><p>“I... I should probably just wait for Sam in the lobby. I’m going to go.” Dean’s practically running to the elevator when it opens. Thank God! Saved by the bell!</p><p>Eileen steps out from the elevator doors. Hands thrown up to stop Dean’s momentum from crashing into her. She has her own matching set of designer athletic clothes. Although hers don’t look like she just cut the tags off this morning.</p><p>“Woah Dean, hello! Sam didn’t tell me you’d be joining us today.” She smiles politely enough, but Dean sees she’s trying to recall if he did tell her. Or any clue as to why Sam’s loser brother was in her building at this very moment. That’s not fair, so far she’s been very pleasant to him and nothing like her sister or Darcy.</p><p>“No he doesn’t know I’m here, I was going to surprise him and ran into these two at reception.” The hammering in his chest slowing now that he’s sure he’s safe from whatever was about to happen to him.</p><p>“I think your dear Joanna was calling for security when we arrived.” Anna laughs casually from her position on the floor where she’s turned Dean’s quick departure into some kind of yoga stretch.</p><p>Dean has to clench his fists at his sides. Anything to keep him from walking back over and strangling her. Like she didn’t just try to get Dean in a threesome with her boyfriend!</p><p>“I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding.” Castiel interjects, but Anna doesn’t seem to hear him.</p><p>“Of course, if anything, it shows how cautious your employees are Eileen... you never know what’s going to come in off the street.” She stands now and pulls her leg almost all the way up to her ears.</p><p>“Eileen, is Sam coming?” Dean tears his eyes away from Anna’s clear attempt at distraction. He’s not really sure if that’s meant to torment him or Darcy, who is also staring. But right now he doesn’t care.</p><p>“Uh no, he was going to skip it today. He said he was too busy.” Her face falters, and Dean thinks its not the answer she was hoping for either.</p><p>“Well can you tell me what floor he’s on? I just need to talk to him, then I’ll be on my way.”</p><p>“I can take you.” Castiel comes down off of his own machine. Everyone gaping at him as if he offered to teach them all the Macarena.</p><p>“I don’t need a damn chaperone.” Dean growls.</p><p>“I wasn’t implying you did.”</p><p>“Then why?”</p><p>“I know where his floor is, Eileen just got here, and it’s on my way out.” He wipes his face with a towel.</p><p>“Castiel, just let the man figure it out on his own.” Anna stops her stretches long enough to pout at him. “We’ve only just arrived.”</p><p>“You can find your own way home Anna, I’m done here.” He spares her a passing glance and turns back to Dean.</p><p>“Could you give me a moment to change? I won’t be long.”</p><p>Dean can only nod, Castiel’s motives are unclear but the disappointed look on Anna’s face is enough for him to agree.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>To Castiel’s credit he did really only take a moment to get cleaned up.</p><p>Back in the gym, he stands before Dean in another fitted suit. This one is navy and he wears a striped blue tie loosely knotted around his neck. A tan trench coat folded over one arm.</p><p>The quintessential corporate lawyer, just a causal threesome at lunch and then back to the office. Dean feels a little light headed.</p><p>“Are you ready?” His normal gruff voice returns and Dean’s oddly comforted by it. Anything was better than the forced politeness of Eileen or seductive mind games of Anna.</p><p>He nods and they enter the car one at a time. Both women look over at their departure but neither says goodbye.</p><p>The door shuts silently and for the first time since the bar, they are alone.</p><p>All manner of thoughts swirls around in Dean’s head.</p><p>What was that back there? Was Anna trying to flirt with him, or Castiel, or maybe both? Wait! Were they in on it together?</p><p>Would they laugh at him later in bed? How they worked Dean into a frenzy playing some weird psychological sex game!</p><p>“So was I having a stroke back there, or are you and your girlfriend trying to fuck me?”</p><p>Castiel’s eyes widen in shock. Of all the ways Dean could have asked, he really picked the most indelicate way to ask it.</p><p>The car fills with a tense silence. Dean’s cheeks burn. He was such an idiot.</p><p>“I find your question vulgar and offensive. To both me and Anna.” Castiel’s voice rumbling like a thunderstorm.</p><p>“Yeah well I’m a vulgar and offensive person.” He snaps. “And besides, she started it!”</p><p>“I agree, she did orchestrate this entire fucking fiasco.” Castiel’s voice is so soft Dean isn’t sure he heard him at all. “And no, you aren’t.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You aren’t either of those things. So I’m wondering why your choosing them as your armor in this conversation?”</p><p>Dean prickles at the accusation. Castiel doesn’t know the first thing about him!</p><p>“Whatever, we’re not talking about me! I’m just really confused about what is going on here.”</p><p>“With Anna and I? Or with you and I?”</p><p>“Oh, no! There’s nothing going on with you and I! That was made perfectly clear the last time we saw each other.”</p><p>“You weren’t supposed to hear that conversation.” And Dean swears he sees Castiel’s face fall a little.</p><p>“Yeah well I’m not a damn bit sorry your pride is hurt.”</p><p>“Yes, Anna’s behavior today was... upsetting. She was most likely trying to get a rise out of me. She does that, often.”</p><p>“If that’s your guy’s idea of a joke don’t appreciate being made part of whatever sick game you two have going on!”</p><p>“There’s nothing going on between Anna and I!”</p><p>“You could have fooled me, what with that perfect couple routine!”</p><p>“Stop it right now!” Castiel shouts and Dean jerks back as if he’d been slapped. Castiel anger is palpable. He can taste it on his tongue. Feel it on his skin.</p><p>“Let me be clear Dean. I am not perfect. I have flaws just as much as the next man. But I have little patience for the foolishness of others. I will speak to Anna, her behavior was unacceptable.”</p><p>He pauses and takes a deep breath, fighting for control.</p><p>“My temperament could perhaps be called cold; and most people would say that my good opinion once lost, is lost forever. That may not be what you want to hear but it is the truth.”</p><p>Dean doesn’t know what to say, for the first time since they met he’s feel like Castiel is being brutally honest with him about something. Maybe it was time for him to be honest in return.</p><p>“Look Darcy...” the elevator doors slide open and there are a number of people waiting to enter the car.</p><p>“This is your brother’s floor. You should be able to find your way from here.” He’s back to haughty indifference again and Dean hangs his head.</p><p>Dean steps out and turns around; wanting to say something, anything to apologize for his harsh words. It wasn’t Castiel’s fault, Anna was clearly manipulating them both.</p><p>Castiel has made his way to the front of the car and their eyes lock as the door slides shut between them.</p><p>And the time for apologies has passed.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Sam’s floor reminds Dean of a beehive. People moving in what looks a haphazard fashion all over the place. There’s clicking, buzzing, beeping, and he thinks he can hear Simon and Garfunkel somewhere in the background.</p><p>He walks up to another reception desk, this one helmed by a red headed girl with glasses and a Star Trek tee shirt. She looks up from her screen and gives him a cheery smile.</p><p>“Hi, I’m here to see Sam Bennet.” He braces for impact, hoping he doesn’t get a repeat of downstairs.</p><p>“Oh Dean hey! How’s it going?” The red head jumps up and comes around to his side of the desk to hug him! He pulls back a little from her surprisingly strong embrace.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m forgetting your name.” Dean stammers. He’s never met this woman before in his life! And he’s met a dozen or so of his brother’s coworkers.</p><p>“Ha! Not going to fall for that again! Fool me once, as they say!” She wags a finger at him and he laughs nervously.</p><p>“Yeah...you know me. Always kidding around.” What the fuck is happening today? Maybe he hit his head on the subway and this has been like a medically induced coma thing. Maybe he’s not even here right now!</p><p>“Sam’s in his office now, take this row straight back.” She grins and points down a row of pods to Dean’s right.</p><p>“Kay... thanks. See you... around?” He starts to shuffle away. She better not ask me her name, please don’t ask!!</p><p>“Yup see ya buddy!” She waves enthusiastically and walks back around to her chair.</p><p>Once out of sight he books it down the row of white and grey office pods. Most house a single desk and chair but some have little sofas. One even has a guy sleeping in a blow up hammock. Corporate life was weird.</p><p>Sam’s office has four full walls but they are all glass. He could have seen Dean coming if his head wasn’t glued to his screen. There’s another man in his office standing with an tablet, tapping randomly on it.</p><p>He looks over when Dean gets to the door but doesn’t address him.</p><p>“Okay Corbett, can you please get that back to me by 4:00?” Sam still doesn’t look up.</p><p>“Yes I can.” Corbett nods, “umm sir?”</p><p>“Corbett, I’ve been your boss for a few weeks. We’ve literally played beer pong together. You can still call me Sam.” He looks up exasperated and spies Dean lurking in the doorway. His face falters then goes completely blank.</p><p>“Hi.” Dean waves.</p><p>“Hey. You’re here. At my job.”</p><p>“Yeah well your forgot your homework.” Dean grins sheepishly but Sam continues to stare.</p><p>“Corbett, you can go.” Sam turns to him and the man quickly exits the room.</p><p>They’re silent for what feels like an eternity to Dean.</p><p>“So can we talk?” Dean asks shyly.</p><p>Sam stands up, “let’s go to a conference room. I’m just going to keep getting interrupted in here.”</p><p>He walks out and doesn’t wait for Dean to follow. Okay so it’s going to be like that huh?</p><p>Dean catches up quick and matches Sam’s long stride. They turn a corner and Sam ducks into an empty room. These walls aren’t glass, and Dean visibly relaxes. He really didn’t want all of Sam’s subordinates see him get chewed out.</p><p>“This could have waited till I came home.” Sam opts for defensive but Dean’s ready with a counter attack.</p><p>“Really when was that going to be? Thanksgiving? Christmas? I haven’t seen you in weeks.”</p><p>“Oh come on Dean! You knew that this promotion was going to come with a lot of extra work.”</p><p>“Yeah well I didn’t know it meant you’d be living at the office.”</p><p>“You have no idea the pressure me and my team are under.”</p><p>Dean spies a weakness in Sam’s argument and goes in for the kill.</p><p>“You’re right I don’t Sam, because you won’t talk to me. I know you have a ton going on here. I can see it, and I’m so damn proud of your accomplishments. But if you don’t slow down I’m worried this promotion will cost you more than you ever hoped to gain.”</p><p>Sam looks stunned. “Dean, I’m fine. I know you think I’m killing myself here but it’s not like that. I have a great team, and they’re really all working hard for this launch.”</p><p>“Then why are you never home?”</p><p>“You wouldn’t understand. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I’ll try to make more of an effort.” Sam seems deflated now.</p><p>“No back up, what wouldn’t I understand?” A little alarm bell is going off in his head.</p><p>“I’m just, trying to make this work.” He sighs.</p><p>“Make what work?” Oh no, is he talking about moving out?</p><p>“No forget it, it’s stupid. I’m sorry Dean.” He rubs his hand over the back of his neck.</p><p>“Sammy, you can talk to me.” Please, please tell you’re not leaving me behind too.</p><p>“I’m just trying to show that I’m committed to my new role.” He pauses.</p><p>Okay... That’s not at all what Dean was thinking.</p><p>“Who doesn’t think you’re committed?”</p><p>“No one!”</p><p>“Then what are you talking about?”</p><p>Sam struggles to speak. “It’s Eileen...”</p><p>“She doesn’t think you’re committed?”</p><p>“No! It’s not that...”</p><p>Okay this was going to take all day. Dean rubs his hands over his face.</p><p>“How about you just tell me what it is?”</p><p>“So Eileen and I agreed to stop seeing each other socially.”</p><p>“Romantically” Dean interrupts.</p><p>“Anyways, since then she’s been... around. Like a lot more than usual.”</p><p>“Around?”</p><p>“Yeah, at first it kind of felt like she was checking up on me. So I started putting in extra hours.”</p><p>“So she doesn’t think you can handle it?”</p><p>“I don’t think it’s that. Because she’s been extra helpful too. Getting my team lunches, signing off on all the overtime, she’s even the one who offered to pay for the hotel I’ve been staying in.”</p><p>“So you’re working harder because she’s rewarding your for working harder?”</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>“Sam you’re right, I do not understand. But I guess if you think it’s what you need to do... can you at least try to come home a few nights a week?”</p><p>“Yeah Dean, I can do that. I’m sorry, it’ll be better in a couple weeks. The launch isn’t too far off now.”</p><p>“I’m sorry too. Maybe then things can get back to normal.”</p><p>“As normal as they can be.” Sam grins and pulls Dean into a bone crushing hug. “I’m glad you stopped by.”</p><p>Dean can’t breathe properly but he slaps Sam on the back anyway. “Me too bud, me too.”</p><p>“Hey did something happen with the house phone? I tried to call Adam and it just buzzed at me.” Sam lets go and Dean’s lungs re-inflate.</p><p>“Oh I unplugged it. That lawyer chick kept calling and leaving super personal messages.”</p><p>“Huh, she left me a bunch of messages too on my cell. Wanting to discuss some new information.”</p><p>“Yeah that.” He waits a beat, totally not chickening out. “Are you going to call her back?”</p><p>“I guess I’ll have to, it sounded important.”</p><p>“Better you than me. She weirds me out Sam... how did she even know I liked pie?!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We are introduced to some new characters!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You have to stop pacing.” Sam is sitting in an easy chair, watching Dean stalk across the living room rug.</p><p>“I know, I know!” But he doesn’t, he keeps pacing. Looking at the clock. Then the door. Then the clock again.</p><p>“She said 7:00.” Sam taps a staccato beat on the armrest.</p><p>“I know Sam!” Dean barks.</p><p>“You’re making me dizzy!”</p><p>“Not helping Adam!” Dean runs his hands through his hair, sticking it up in spikes.</p><p>“Look, it’s just a meeting. Ms. Collins said she had new information about the land development and wanted to meet in person.” Sam’s voice is calm which only makes Dean more anxious.</p><p>“That’s just what they want us to think! She’s going to come with a whole bunch of documents and we’ll sign something by mistake and end up selling her the house!”</p><p>“Dean... one, that kind of soap opera nonsense isn’t going to happen. And two, you need to relax. She can’t make us do anything we don’t want to do.”</p><p>“She can’t, she can’t make us. Right, I know.” He mutters to himself. But he still felt unsure. No one had ever come in person, any of the times De Bourg had made them an offer.</p><p>There had been dozens of letters, even several vaguely threatening phone calls. But this would be the first time he met anyone from the firm. What if she didn’t come alone? What if she brought a couple of leg breakers to help with the “negotiating?”</p><p>“I’m gonna throw up.” Dean announces and bolts for the kitchen but Sam grabs him by the back of his pants. He drags Dean to the couch shoves his head down between his legs.</p><p>“You need to breathe. You’re having a panic attack.”</p><p>Dean gasps for air, huge gulps of it, barely filling his lungs.</p><p>“Slower Dean, it’s going to be okay.”</p><p>He takes another, longer breath and his heart is no longer trying to escape from his chest.</p><p>A few more and his face returns to a normalish shade of pink.</p><p>He sits up, Adam is curled up on the other end of the couch looking as if Dean’s head might explode at any moment.</p><p>“I’m okay...” Dean croaks.</p><p>Adam can only nod. He wraps his arms tighter around his knees.</p><p>“Kid, it’s fine. I’m sorry I freaked.”</p><p>“She can’t really take the house... can she?” He looks over to Sam now.</p><p>“It’s going to be fine, don’t worry.”</p><p>Adam looks back at Dean for confirmation.</p><p>“She can’t do anything without our approval.” Dean bites back on the lie so hard he can taste blood in his mouth.</p><p>He has no clue what she’s going to say. But telling Adam that, making him worry too, it wasn’t going to help anyone if he got hysterical.</p><p>Whatever was going to happen, he’d handle it. This was his house, it was his responsibility.</p><p>The clock on the mantle chimes the hour and there’s a knock at the front door.</p><p>“Well at least she’s prompt.” Sam chuckles but none of them move to answer it. Dean stands and tentatively steps closer to Sam.</p><p>Another knock, is it his imagination or was it a little harder?</p><p>He glares at Sam, but to his dismay his younger sibling gestures towards the door. Guess it was going to be up to him.</p><p>Dean walks to the door as a third round of knocking starts. Okay it’s definitely louder. He throws it open, looks out and then down, at the pixie of a woman holding a bakery box on their doorstep.</p><p>“Oh goody! You are home, I was worried you stood me up!” Ms. Collins’s squeaky voice reaches all the way into to Dean’s head and shakes his brain stem like a rag doll.</p><p>He instantly steps back, not really to let her in but to get away from the assault on his senses. She pushes past him and heads into the living room.</p><p>“It is so nice to finally meet you all!” She reaches for Sam’s hand to shake it. “I feel like I know you boys so well already. You must be Sam.”</p><p>Sam grunts a little as she pulls him down a bit to her very short vantage point.</p><p>“Nice to meet you Ms. Collins.”</p><p>“Oh no please, Becky is fine. We’re all friends here. And I brought you a little treat as a token of friendship.” She hefts the bakery box and smiles again.</p><p>“Hehe, okay Becky it is. Here, I can take that. Would you like to have a seat?”</p><p>“Oh you’re so sweet, yes thank you.” She hands it over and sits lightly on edge of the wingback chair.</p><p>“Uh Dean, are you going to join us?” Sam calls and sets the box down on the coffee table.</p><p>Dean is still stuck at the front door. He stumbles back into the living room and stands awkwardly almost half in the hallway.</p><p>Becky turns, “Dean please, join us. I promise I don’t bite. Well not unless you have tequila in the house.” She winks awkwardly at Adam and the poor boy looks away horrified.</p><p>“So as I said to Sam on the phone,” She smiles over to him fondly and Dean can see she has a bit of lipstick stuck to her teeth, “I have some new information regarding this property.”</p><p>“What information?” Dean’s found his voice, and it’s harsh enough to make Becky falter a little in her chair.</p><p>“Information regarding my clients plans for this area and I felt it was pertinent to discuss it in person with you.”</p><p>“Why?” He folds his arms over his chest and he see Sam mirror the same stance.</p><p>“Well....you weren’t exactly... responding to my attempts at contact. She wrinkles her nose at him like she’s scolding a child for misbehaving.</p><p>“That didn’t stop you before. We got your letters, your voicemails.” Every communication documented, Sam had said it was just in case things went south.</p><p>“Seeing as you’re the last property to settle, I thought a more personal touch would help you with your decision.”</p><p>“Cut the act. You came here a reason. Now tell us what you know.”</p><p>She freezes and for a second Dean can see her delusional school teacher face morph into something much more sinister. But it vanishes just a quickly.</p><p>“Dean please, we can all be civil here. It’s just business.”</p><p>“You know I hate when you suit types say that. It may not be personal to you, but this is our home. We grew up here. Our whole lives are here. And you think you can just flash some dollar signs and we’ll walk away from it all?”</p><p>Becky stands and smooths the front of her burgundy suit jacket. She straightens the cuffs and runs a hand down her long blonde hair. All the while Dean is seething in his boots. She’s fucking stalling. This was all a ruse to get in this house. But to what gain?</p><p>Her voice no longer shrill, it’s flat and cold. “I’m here to inform you that the company The De Bourg firm represents has started negotiations with your bank. If all goes according to plan, they will be buying out your mortgage by the end of next year.”</p><p>“That can’t be legal, banks just don’t sell mortgages!” Sam stands up from his chair.</p><p>Adam rises at the same time, “It’s not fair! Dean, you said she couldn’t do this!”</p><p>The three of them stand around her. Surrounding her, each of them poised for a fight.</p><p>“I’m not doing this, you’ve had ample time to make a deal with us. And now, because you’re still upside down on your mortgage the bank has all the cause they need to look elsewhere to recoup their money.”</p><p>She speaks directly to Dean. She knows he’s the one in charge. The one who can sway the other two her way if needed.</p><p>“You will receive market value for this house and the property. But by next fall you will no longer own it and you will be legally required to leave.”</p><p>“Well I still own it today, you need to get out of my house.” Deans voice doesn’t waiver but inside he’s shaking with fury.</p><p>“It’s not too late you know, I’m prepared to make a deal tonight. All you have to do is sign.”</p><p>“We’re not making any deals.”</p><p>“And you can expect a call for our attorney.” Sam adds.</p><p>She walks past him and smiles as she pauses at the door. “We’ll talk again soon then. Enjoy your pie boys.”</p><p>Dean throws the deadbolt once she’s out the door. Laying his forehead against the cool glass, tears burn behind his eyes.</p><p>Everything was crumbling around him. He barely had a toe hold on their finances and now they’d have legal fees on top of it. Maybe they should just sign. It’s not like the house was worth much. And it was just a house; wood, glass, and nails. What did that matter? What did anything matter?</p><p>“Dean?” Sam’s voice quiet as a ghost behind him. And his little brother sounds so scared Dean tightens his resolve around himself. Fighting to hold back the flood of fear in his own heart.</p><p>“I’ll make it right Sammy, I swear. We’re not letting that bitch win.”</p><p>“Dean, you don’t need to do this all on your own. You could have told me how bad it was.”</p><p>“Don’t believe a word she says. Did you see her face? She’ll do anything to get us to sign.”</p><p>“But what if it’s true?”</p><p>“Let’s get the lawyer first, then we’ll see what’s true or not.”</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>“How’d you hear about this guy again?” Dean has to shout. They’re standing on the corner of 54th and Lexington, smack dab in the heart of midtown.</p><p>It seems like the entire population of Manhattan is passing them on the street. People running, walking, and driving by; all 1.6 million of them.</p><p>Just fighting against the current to get anywhere but where they are that very moment.</p><p>“I was talking with one of the paralegals from Castiel’s firm. He used to work there. Now he’s in private practice.” Sam looks around, craning his neck to see to the top of the various skyscrapers. The cold November wind blowing his hair all over the place.</p><p>“And you think he’s any good?”</p><p>“I think he’s our best option seeing as you didn’t want me to talk to Cas.”</p><p>Dean frowns; he absolutely didn’t want Castiel to know. This was family business. Someone like Castiel Darcy didn’t know the first thing about family.</p><p>“Then he’s our best option. Hey kid, come on! We gotta go.” Dean yells to where Adam is standing, snapping pictures with his phone.</p><p>Adam insisted they bring him along. He had turned 18; he was officially an adult. They weren’t going to make any decisions without him. And yet here he was, posting on Snapchat or whatever for his little internet friends, while Dean was trying to save them from getting tossed out on the streets.</p><p>The three of them step into the law offices of A. Wickham and Associates; the glass door tucked snugly between a Dunkin Donuts and a Podiatrist office.</p><p>On the lobby’s faded green carpet rest four battered office chairs and a small receptionist desk. There’s no one sitting at it and the door behind the desk is closed.</p><p>“Guess we take a seat?” Sam whispers and he lowers himself into the rickety chair.</p><p>In this small of a space it does feel like they’re intruding. Their chairs bump as they all try to quietly cram into the seats.</p><p>“Are we early?” Adam pulls out his phone again. Probably planning to live tweet the whole conversation.</p><p>“Will you put that thing away for five minutes?” Dean grunts and Adam shoves the phone in his pocket. Pouting he fidgets in the chair.</p><p>The office door opens and a young woman comes out adjusting her skirt and fussing with her dark auburn hair. Pulling the door closed behind her she notices the trio and yelps in surprise.</p><p>“Oh jeez! You scared me, you’re early!”</p><p>Their appointment was for 4:00, Dean glances at his watch, it’s 3:57. He’d hardly call that early.</p><p>“Uh sorry, we just wanted to be... prompt.” Sam offers up the apology and the young woman blows a considerably large, pink bubble through her red painted lips. She snaps and pops her gum, assessing them closely.</p><p>“How considerate. Well Alastair’s just umm, I mean Mr. Wickham’s just freshening up. He should be out in a moment.”</p><p>She grabs a grey wool coat off the rack beside her desk, popping her gum again she opens a drawer and pulls out a leopard print bag. Coat and bag in hand she turns back to the office door and bangs on it loud enough for all three of them to jump.</p><p>“Hey your four o’clock is here! I’ll see ya tomorrow hun!”</p><p>There’s a muffled voice from behind the door and the sound of water running through exposed pipes over their heads.</p><p>She turns around and without another word leaves the office, pulling her coat on as she steps out on the sidewalk.</p><p>Adam leans over and watches her walk out, Dean pushes him back into his seat with one finger and a sigh.</p><p>“What? You always say looking is free.”</p><p>“A fine philosophy in regards to all things beautiful, I’m sure.” The commanding voice has them all to turning toward the interior door. “Good afternoon gentlemen. I assume by Meg’s departure you are the Bennet family and my very punctual 4:00.”</p><p>The three of them stand and Dean privately elects himself speaker for this meeting.</p><p>“Yes, that’s us. I’m Dean, this is Sam, and Adam.”</p><p>“Alastair Whickham; very nice to meet you all. Now I understand you have a bit of a problem. Why don’t we step into my office?”</p><p>He backs up and allows them all to go in ahead of him.</p><p>There’s only two chairs on the visitor side of the beat up metal desk so Adam has to stand against the door.</p><p>Mr. Whickham sits and folds his large hands on the desk in front of him.</p><p>“So, when I spoke to Sam on the phone, he told me all about your situation with The De Bourg firm. No need to catch me up there. What I want to talk about today is what I can do to help you with your problems.”</p><p>“Mr. Whickham...”</p><p>“Dean, Alastair is fine.” He quickly interrupts but it’s not harsh. He smiles, and Dean continues.</p><p>“We don’t want to lose our house, Ms. Collins made it seem like we had no say in the matter. But the bank can’t really do that can it? Sell it out from under us like that?”</p><p>“Hmmm. It’s a bit tricky what banks can and can’t do. I would most likely need to speak with the bank manager directly. Along with the clients of Ms. Collins.” He sneers at the very mention of her name and Adam lets out a laugh behind them.</p><p>“Ha! That lady is a piece of work!”</p><p>“Adam, that’s not helping.” Sam scolds.</p><p>“You’re right though Adam, Ms. Collins is a very difficult woman. A bit like a terrier in heat wouldn’t you say?” Alastair winks a deep blue eye at the younger man and Adam honest to God blushes right down to his shoes.</p><p>“So you’ve met her before?” Dean asks.</p><p>“Yes, I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure.” He wrinkles his nose. “Her firm is a subset of my previous employers. So our paths have crossed a time or two.”</p><p>“You used to work for Derby, Shire, Fitz, &amp; Darcy right? That’s how we got your reference.” Sam comments.</p><p>“Yes, but I gave it all up for this.” He gestures ironically to the threadbare office. Dean sees a little anger flash on his face but Alastair hides it away immediately.</p><p>“So if you’ve met her, and the members of that firm, you know if she’s telling the truth?” Dean needs to know how much trouble they’re really in.</p><p>He’s been paying the mortgage on time, every month. If he can squeeze a little extra he’ll even adjust the payment higher. But it’s barely making a dent. Every time he checks the balance it seems like the number goes up instead of down.</p><p>“Dean rule one, lawyers lie. It’s what they’re paid to do. And Ms. Collins is paid handsomely for her job. Why do you think she’s taken this long to settle the houses on your street?”</p><p>“So the longer she takes, the more she’s getting paid? That’s bull!” Adam chimes in again and this time both Sam and Dean glare at him.</p><p>“Does the term billable hours ring any bells gentlemen?” Alastair pauses to let that question sink in.</p><p>“Now speaking of that, should we talk about payment for my services?” He unlocks one of the drawers and pulls out a faded red ledger. As he turns to an empty page Adam peaks over in curiosity.</p><p>“Woah, old school! Nice!”</p><p>“Thank you Adam, I do prefer to keep my records in hard copy rather than electronic. Much more private that way. So yes you could call it old school.” He smiles fondly at the boy and Adam’s blushing again. Dean rolls his eyes, the kid’s hormones must be on overdrive.</p><p>“So what’s the plan?”</p><p>“As I said, speak with the bank manager and with Ms. Collins. I will also need all the correspondence you’ve had with the firm. They may have hidden a clue to their defeat in plain sight.”</p><p>“Is that all?” Sam demands and Dean lays a hand on his shoulder trying to calm him.</p><p>“That’s all for now, until I do more research and speak to those people I’m afraid I don’t have much more.”</p><p>“So what’s the damage? Do we pay you like a deposit or is it on a weekly timeframe?” Dean needs to know how bad this is going to hurt. He has a number in his head, fairly confident he knows how much these things cost.</p><p>“My rate is $500 an hour and I require a $300 retainer for expenses.”</p><p>Dean’s jaw hits the floor and possibly plummets to the sewer. Five hundred dollars, an hour!? Who does this guy think he is, Atticus Finch?</p><p>“Mr. Whickham, I’m sorry but I think we may have wasted your time. We can’t afford that amount of money.” Sam stammers.</p><p>“Now Sam I said call me Alastair and I meant it. Boys, you are the victims of a crime here. And I believe you may even be entitled to compensation from this developer and the firm they hired. They are harassing you after all.” He grins and it reminds Dean enough of a shark that he shrinks back a little from the desk.</p><p>“We appreciate your enthusiasm, but that doesn’t change the fact that your fees are just too high for us.” Sam presses again and Dean can feel him nudge his foot to chime in.</p><p>Dean looks at his brothers; Sam distressed over the costs that seem to be rapidly piling up, Adam afraid of what will happen if they lose their home.</p><p>And before them sits Mr. Whickham; a man who has offered to fight for them. To slay that dragon and win back their kingdom. All they have to do is provide the funds. It seems so simple, all he has to do is say yes.</p><p>“We can pay you the retainer today, but we’ll need to hold on anything over 2 hours of work. At least until you have some good intel.” Dean didn’t know he had the ability to convey that kind of direction.</p><p>His brothers look as if they had no idea either.</p><p>Alastair holds his hand out to Dean. “I think that arrangement is perfect. I look forward to working with you boys.”</p><p>Dean shakes his hand, his palm is cool and it envelopes Dean almost to his forearm. He feels a ghost of a touch run along the underside of his wrist and if a shiver runs down his spine well it was probably just because of nerves.</p><p>“Now, you’re my last appointment of the day. What do you say we get a drink? To celebrate our partnership. My treat!” He stands and they all scramble up to join him.</p><p>“I’m in.” Adam volunteers and earns himself another wink from Alastair.</p><p>“Good lad. Sam, Dean? What do you say? Do you have time for a drink with a new friend?”</p><p>Sam looks like he wants to say no. But to Dean, a drink after a stressful day sounds real damn good.</p><p>“Where did you have in mind?”</p><p>“Oh I know the perfect spot.” Alastair grins again and ushers them all to the door.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>“... So she turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody any time, any where, any place, it doesn't matter to me." Alastair pauses and the boys look at him expectantly for the punch line.</p><p>“And the guy raises his eyebrows and says, "No kidding? What law firm do you work for?"</p><p>The four of them burst out laughing. Earning a few glares from the other patrons. They’ve been sitting at the bar for a few hours now. And are well on their way to inebriated.</p><p>They toasted to their new partnership, to their assured victory over De Bourg, and to Becky Collins; may she rot in jail for the rest of her life.</p><p>By the third toast Dean felt like they may have overstayed their welcome at the swanky Meryton Hotel. It’s a dimly lit bar, glossy black wood gleaming in candle light. People are staring as their voices become louder and louder. But Alastair assures them he came here all the time. And it was no problem.</p><p>He even managed to sneak Adam a drink past the not so watchful eyes of the bartender.</p><p>Sam looked like he had a big problem with that, but he neglected to say anything. Dean let it go, Adam was 18 and an adult now. And he was helping them (sort of) with adult problems. No reason why he couldn’t share in one drink with his brothers.</p><p>Adam rests his elbows on the bar, turning to Alastair. “Just how many lawyer jokes are there?”</p><p>“Only three. The rest are true stories.” He affectionately runs a hand over the boy’s hair and Dean can see his brother lean into the touch.</p><p>He laughs again and squeezes the back of Adam’s neck. “You boys are a good time, you know that? I haven’t laughed this much in years.”</p><p>Dean looks over and absently admires Alastair’s profile. Initially when they met this afternoon he thought Alastair was much older than him.</p><p>Maybe it was the way his hair was already going grey, or that his eyes crinkled at the corners. He wasn’t unattractive; strong jaw, a hard plane of a nose that looked broken at one point.</p><p>It was just Dean felt drawn to the man’s personality much more than his looks.</p><p>He had this presence, this authority. It was kind of magnetic. It made Dean feel like he was back in college listening to a seasoned professor. Someone with experience, who had lived a hundred lives.</p><p>It seemed that way to Dean anyway, but when he asked him it turned out really he wasn’t but a few years his senior.</p><p>He must have felt Dean staring because he glances at him. He smiles and even without the alcohol he can tell Alastair is attracted to him.</p><p>Another time and place, preferably without his brothers around, he would have given him his number. He may have even gone home with him under certain circumstances.</p><p>They share a private smile and Dean has a feeling Alastair also might be thinking about just what would happen if they ended up alone together.</p><p>But then he looks past Dean and his expression turns positively fierce.</p><p>Dean swivels around in his chair to see none other than Castiel Darcy walking into the bar. He’s accompanied by another man Dean doesn’t know. But Alastair seems to know them both. He glares at the two of them, unable to tear his eyes away.</p><p>Castiel notices him almost immediately and curses. The man he’s with grabs him arm. Is he holding him back? Castiel struggles and pulls his arm free. He stalks over to where they’re seated at the bar and Alastair shoves up out of his chair.</p><p>“Whickham, what are you doing here?” Castiel’s looks like he could smite them all where they stood. Dean thought he pissed Darcy off before, but he was so very wrong.</p><p>“Last I checked your family doesn’t own every bar on Park Avenue, Castiel. I’m just enjoying a drink with some friends.” Alastair’s eyes were raging but his voice was calm.</p><p>“Hey fellas, let’s remember we’re in public okay. Save it for the courtroom.” The stranger tries to step between the two of them but his short stature doesn’t give him much leeway. Alastair towers over them both.</p><p>Castiel glances to Alastair’s companions and his fury is abruptly subdued. He looks utterly shocked to see Dean and his brothers. Who have also stood, subconsciously siding with Alastair along the bar.</p><p>Guilt bubbles in Dean’s stomach. Castiel looks so betrayed to see them standing here. But why? Alastair’s been perfectly wonderful to them. What happened between the two of them to make Castiel act this way?</p><p>The short man grabs Castiel again and this time he lets him lead him away.</p><p>Alastair smiles and calls, “see you around Castiel!”</p><p>Adam huffs out a breath and slumps back into his chair. “What the hell was that about?”</p><p>“That, Adam my boy, was years of resentment boiling over in a pitiful display of superiority.” Alastair signals to the bartender and he brings them three fresh drinks.</p><p>“Sit down Dean, no punches are being thrown tonight.” He claps a hand on Dean’s shoulder and lowers him to the chair.</p><p>“I guess you guys have history?” Dean knows he stating the obvious here but he needs to take a moment and collect himself. He rubs his knuckles absentmindedly at his chest and his heart pounds beneath his fingers. Why did Castiel look at him like that? And why did it bother him so much?</p><p>“Yes the aristocratic Castiel and I have loads of history. But I don’t want to bore you with the details.”</p><p>“Oh come on! You guys looked ready to tear each other’s throats out. There’s gotta be a story!” Adam is practically bouncing out of his chair.</p><p>Alastair sighs, “Alright if you insist.” And he ruffles Adam’s hair.</p><p>“Castiel and I have known each other for almost 15 years. We met in law school and were once close friends. We then both worked for Derby, Shire, &amp; Fitz.” He pauses and sips at his drink.</p><p>“I was rising through the ranks and due to make partner. But as the announcement grew nearer Castiel became wild with envy. He started spreading rumors about me and it got all the way back to our superiors.”</p><p>His hand tightens on the glass, “I was asked to provide evidence that the claims were false or leave the firm. Since it was all hearsay and speculation I had nothing to back up my own credibility. Castiel however had his father’s reputation to stand behind.”</p><p>Dean is at a loss for words, everything Alastair worked for torn away over petty jealousy. Anyone who could hurt a friend like that, he was less than garbage in Dean’s book.</p><p>“I’m sorry boys, I don’t think I’m going to be good company tonight. I think it may be time to head home.” Alastair signals for the check and silently pays out their tab.</p><p>“Ah, thanks for the drinks Alastair. I’m sorry our evening got cut short.” Dean doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know Alastair well enough to offer the right type of comfort.</p><p>“So am I Dean. You all have my card, please don’t hesitate to call.” He steps up from the bar. “I’ll contact you soon regarding the information I gather.”</p><p>Without another word he strides away, leaving the Bennet siblings a bit confused and becoming more sober by the minute.</p><p>“Wow, I know you said that Darcy guy was just some grumpy rich dude, but he sounds like a really bad guy!” Adam breaks the silence with another oblivious comment. Dean was getting kind of tired of constantly telling his youngest brother to shut the hell up.</p><p>Sam shrugs. “Maybe it was a misunderstanding?”</p><p>“Sam the dude got fired!”</p><p>“Adam if you don’t shut up I swear to god...” Dean sucks in a breath. He was tired, he was conflicted, and he was still reeling from the look Castiel had given him.</p><p>He seemed... betrayed? Which now that Dean knew the circumstances of that confrontation, it was kind of a sick joke. What the hell did Castiel have to be upset about? He was the villain in this story. Wasn’t he?</p><p>“I could ask Eileen about it, she might be able to tell us more.” Sam offers.</p><p>“No Sam, it’s not our business. And if he has anything to explain, let Darcy do it himself.”</p><p>“Well you’ll have the chance to ask him.” Sam counters and Dean’s head whips around so fast it’s practically spinning.</p><p>He thought Castiel had come back in. Maybe to yell at Dean some more. Or just to look at him with those sad blue eyes.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“At the party. It’s next Saturday.”</p><p>Dean searches his memory banks and comes up empty handed. He shrugs at Sam.</p><p>“Dean seriously, the launch party? The invite is on the fridge. And I put it in your calendar a month ago.” Sam sighs in exasperation. They exit the bar and start heading to the subway.</p><p>“I don’t like that calendar... it keeps yelling at me.” Dean pouts and pulls his phone out of his pocket.</p><p>“It’s yelling because you have reminders.<br/>Give me your phone!” Sam tries to jerk it away.</p><p>“No, I got it!” He holds it to his chest like a teddy bear.</p><p>“Fine, just check the calendar and your email! You need to go pick up your tux by Wednesday.”</p><p>“Check your email...” Dean grumbles, “wait, pick up my what now?!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next up is the “Ball”, if you’re familiar with the book or film. It will span two chapters. Probably not up till Wednesday since I want post them together.</p><p>Thank you so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Part one of “The Ball” aka the launch party for Netherfield Technologies. Multiple POV chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel:</p>
<p>Last Spring</p>
<p>“You’re inventing ways to waste money now, you realize that?” Cas says through a bite of sandwich.</p>
<p>They’re eating lunch in his office; Eileen had called him up with a brilliant (i.e. terrible) idea and rushed over with food to hash out the whole thing.</p>
<p>“It’s not a waste of money if it leads to future growth.” She counters, punctuating her point with a a forkful of pasta salad.</p>
<p>“<em>Potential</em> future growth.”</p>
<p>“Are you a money manager now too Mr. Darcy?” She smiles at him and takes another bite.</p>
<p>“A party is not an investment.” He frowns into his sandwich. He hated parties. The whole concept; the waste of food, the excess pageantry, the mingling! Why couldn’t he just write check and stay home?</p>
<p>Chewing thoughtfully for a moment; “A party is not a death sentence either,” she rebuttals.</p>
<p>It was to him! It was bad enough she wanted to have the damn thing, but she expected him help plan. To invite people he thought should be there. To participate!</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t Anna be better suited for this?”Fighting to hold back the whine in his voice. “It’s one of her special skills.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but she’s on the Amalfi Coast for at least another month. And if I’m going to book something it should be now.”</p>
<p>“So I’m your second choice?”</p>
<p>She laughs, “Castiel you aren’t even my third choice! But my mother is also on holiday and Claire is busy with school.</p>
<p>He glares at her. 4th place behind a retired doctor and a 17 year old girl? He’s irked at himself for being offended.</p>
<p>She drops her fork in the bowl and clasps her hands in absolution over the desk.</p>
<p>“Please!? My investors need some kind of incentive. A party right before the launch will only reaffirm their interests.”</p>
<p>“How about a tote bag? I hear those are very popular.”</p>
<p>“CASTIEL!” She springs up, no doubt to strangle him by his tie. He holds up his hands for peace and she slumps back into her chair.</p>
<p>Sighing heavily he sets down his sandwich and opens his calendar.</p>
<p>“When is the launch?” He asks without looking over but he can see she is positively gleeful.</p>
<p>“First week in December, pending any further delays. But I have my best men and women on it.”</p>
<p>“You’ll want to shoot for November then, but far enough from thanksgiving where not too many people are out of town.”</p>
<p>“I was thinking the same, see we make a great team!” She resumes eating.</p>
<p>“I assume a pizza party isn’t what you had in mind?” He grins and takes a giant bite of his sandwich.</p>
<p>“Ha! And no, I’m thinking black tie. Just hors d'oeuvres, no sit down meal. Live music, brass or string. Open bar, to encourage dancing of course.” She peeks up at him in time to see him choke on his sandwich.</p>
<p>Ugh, Dancing? He knew she was up to something! He coughs and grabs for his unsweetened iced tea.</p>
<p>“Are you seriously bringing this up again?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you mean...” She places a hand to her chest, feigning confusion.</p>
<p>“How many times do I have have to say I don’t dance?”</p>
<p>“Oh you dance, I’ve seen you. Darcy, I would go as far to say you have moves!” She wiggles a little in her seat as he turns the color of the tomatoes in her bowl.</p>
<p>They went dancing one time in college! He’d been utterly plastered, it was his only excuse. Since then she’s been trying every excuse to get him back on a dance floor.</p>
<p>“Forget about the dancing, let’s focus back on the party. So you’ll help me?” She’s got her teeth into this idea now and Castiel knows she won’t drop it, ever.</p>
<p>“Fine, I’ll help. But I am going to complain the whole time.”</p>
<p>“I never expected anything less.” She grins triumphantly. “What venue should we host at? I can think of a couple no’s right off the bat.”</p>
<p>Without a word he picks up the phone and buzzes his assistant.</p>
<p>“Alfie, can you get me the number for Ruby at the Waldorf?”</p>
<p>He pauses and Eileen’s eyes get as big as dinner plates.</p>
<p>“Yes, as in Astoria. Thank you.”</p>
<p>He jots down the number and hangs up.</p>
<p>“If you want a party to remember then you’re going to need the best.”</p>
<p>“But the Waldorf? Are you sure that’s not too much?”</p>
<p>He hands over the piece of paper.</p>
<p>“For you my dear, too much is just right.”</p>
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<p><br/>Dean:</p>
<p>Present Day</p>
<p>Dean curses a blue streak under his breath.</p>
<p>He’s trying to tie this piece of shit bow tie to go with this fucking tux and he feels so goddamn ridiculous he could scream.</p>
<p>“I feel ridiculous!” Dean cries.</p>
<p>“You look fine!” Sam calls, from the bathroom.</p>
<p>Dean was fully aware that people, who would be turning 30 very soon, shouldn’t have temper tantrums about wearing tuxedos, or going to fancy parties.</p>
<p>But tonight felt one hundred percent different from the last time he went out. He was unsettled; but he wasn’t sure why, and that pissed him off.</p>
<p>It could be that the last few weeks had brought him more conflict than he’d been normally accustomed to. Between Anna and Castiel he wasn’t sure who he was less looking forward to seeing tonight.</p>
<p>He stomps out of his room, wearing only boxer briefs and his tuxedo shirt, to where Sam is fixing his hair in the bathroom.</p>
<p>“Sam, do I really have to go?” He whines.</p>
<p>“Are you seriously still bent out of shape about the whole Anna thing?”</p>
<p>“You weren’t there alright, she was fucking with me... for fun!”</p>
<p>“I talked to Eileen, she said you blew it out of proportion.”</p>
<p>“I blew it out of proportion? She’s the one who tried to seduce me in the middle of the damn gym!” He folds his arms over his chest.</p>
<p>“You need to grow up. Anna was just joking around, no harm, no foul right?” Sam frowns at him in the mirror.</p>
<p>Yeah right. Anna knew exactly what she was doing and she wanted Dean to suffer for it.</p>
<p>“I just don’t feel like we’re going to be welcome...”</p>
<p>“All three of us were invited, it says it right there in black and white.” Sam referring to invitation that was totally hidden (in plain sight) on the fridge where no one (Adam saw it weeks ago) could find it.</p>
<p>“Yeah Sam can’t have all the fun.” Adam smiles coming up the stairs, already fully dressed, looking all cocky like Ferris Bueller off to the prom.</p>
<p>“I don’t know how much fun you’re going to have. Seeing as you’re going to be on your Absolute. Best. Behavior.” Dean pokes a finger at Adam’s chest with every word.</p>
<p>Adam had been running wild lately. Almost every night he came waltzing in past curfew. His school work wasn’t getting done. And he spent more time on his damn phone then anyone Dean knew.</p>
<p>Sneaky about it too; the kid must have a new girlfriend (or boyfriend, whatever) and was texting them all the time.</p>
<p>Even now Dean hears a ping from Adam’s pocket and he frowns.</p>
<p>“And <em>that</em> thing,” he points at the phone as Adam checks the readout, “better be on silent.”</p>
<p>Adam clicks the sound button defiantly and resumes texting. Dean lets out huge sigh. He was freaking out for good reason and he needed to make Sam understand .</p>
<p>“It’s not just Anna. What about Castiel? Now we know he’s a total dick. Why are we hanging out with him?”</p>
<p>“I’m still not sure we got the whole story. But you won’t let me ask Eileen about it so I can’t verify that.”</p>
<p>Dena chews on his bottom lip. If Sam talked to Eileen it would get back to Castiel. He did not want to give him the satisfaction of further attention.</p>
<p>Alastair told them what happened; and based on Castiel’s reaction to seeing him, it was pretty clear there was some bad blood there.</p>
<p>“No, keep her out of this. Even if she knew anything, we don’t need to involve her.”</p>
<p>“Okay, I won’t say anything. But we are all going and I’m done fighting about it.” He slams down his comb and Adam flinches behind Dean.</p>
<p>Sam rarely raises his voice, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a hard ass.</p>
<p>“Now come here, let me fix that,” Sam pulls at Dean’s shoulder to turn him around, he starts fussing with the bow tie.</p>
<p>He undoes the shoddy work Dean spent 20 minutes on and reties the bow in no time at all.</p>
<p>“How did you...”</p>
<p>“YouTube.”</p>
<p>Dean opens his mouth to complain but that’s actually a pretty smart idea. He probably should have thought of that.</p>
<p>Admiring the handiwork he nods at his brother appreciatively.</p>
<p>“Nice work Sammy.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome, now go put some pants on. The car will be here in 15 minutes.”</p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p>Sam:</p>
<p>Dean won’t stop fidgeting. He’s practically vibrating on the seat next to Sam.</p>
<p>He was being incredibly irrational.</p>
<p>Yes, both Anna and Castiel would be there. So what? There would also be enough people there for Dean to avoid them if he chose to.</p>
<p>Sam wasn’t going to let it effect his good mood.</p>
<p>Tonight was the night, he was going to ask Eileen how she felt. They’d been dancing around each other for months now.</p>
<p>Every time she “dropped by” for an update or a follow up she stayed longer and longer. Her touched lingered on his shoulder or his hand. Her eyes held his when they spoke.</p>
<p>He tried so hard to talk to her about anything that wasn’t related to the launch but every time they were alone, he got nervous and babbled. He ended up telling her he loves dogs like 5 times.</p>
<p>She was driving him crazy, in all the best kinds of ways.</p>
<p>He just needed that little push, to know she felt the same way. It would be enough to jumpstart his brain and he could start acting like a normal person again.</p>
<p>Now if he could just get his brother to act normal for one night.</p>
<p>Dean’s leg is shaking so hard it jostles the car as they come to a stop light. Sam reaches out a hand to his brother’s knee. Stilling him momentarily.</p>
<p>“Dude, you need to calm down.”</p>
<p>“I’m calm, I’m fine; totally fine.” Dean stammers.</p>
<p>Uh huh. Totally losing it. Maybe he needs a distraction.</p>
<p>“So I heard from Alastair this morning.”</p>
<p>Dean stops shaking immediately. And Adam’s head whips up from his phone.</p>
<p>“And!?” Dean demands.</p>
<p>“And he said he’s still trying to get a meeting with the bank manager. He’s got some business out of town but when he’s back he’ll be fully devoted to this.”</p>
<p>Dean frowns at him and Adam slumps down lower in the front seat.</p>
<p>“So he’s got nothing. And we’re no closer to being rid of Becky Collins!” Dean growls.</p>
<p>Becky’s been leaving them all messages regularly now, she even called Dean at the garage. He got chewed out pretty bad for that as she had berated the owner over the phone.</p>
<p>“And he won’t be at the party!” Adam whines. Sam and Dean look at him at the same time. Both wearing matching expressions of confusion.</p>
<p>“Why would he be at the party? He’s not affiliated with Castiel’s firm anymore and they kind of hate each other.” Sam can only stare at his younger brother. Sometime he made no sense at all.</p>
<p>He’s been mooning over his phone all week. Every time Sam saw him, he had it in his hand and was texting or snapping selfies.</p>
<p>He was clearly into someone, and it seemed to him that in a short time it had gotten pretty serious. He was going to need to talk to Dean about that when they were alone.</p>
<p>The car comes to a stop and a pair of valets open the doors. Sam does his best to hold back the wonder of seeing such a historic building up close.</p>
<p>Adam not so much.</p>
<p>“Oh my God, this is the hotel from Coming to America!” He’s yelling and pulling his phone out, no doubt for some pictures.</p>
<p>“Can you pretend to be an adult, for five minutes?” Dean yanks his arm down before he can get a selfie in.</p>
<p>“What the hell Dean?” Adam struggles in vain to get out of Dean’s strong hold. “It’s just a picture, why are you on my case?”</p>
<p>“BEACAUSE,” Dean starts to shout but notices there a few spectators and lowers his voice, “because this is important to Sam and you’re acting like a child.</p>
<p>“Oh gimme a break!” Adam rebuffs Dean’s accusations and shoves him back a bit.</p>
<p>“Yeah I’d like to break something.” Dean fists his hands in Adam’s coat.</p>
<p>“Guys that’s enough. Can we go inside please?” Sam has about had it with the two of them.</p>
<p>Between Adam’s hormone fueled idiocy and Dean’s harsh demeanor they were going to get thrown out be for they even got in the door.</p>
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<p>Eileen:</p>
<p>“Your little crush just arrived,” Anna whispers in her ear, “and oh goody, they brought a child too.”</p>
<p>Eileen already noticed Sam coming up the stairs flanked by Dean and his other brother.</p>
<p>Wow, seeing all three of them together really packs a punch. The display of superior genetics was a bit staggering.</p>
<p>The one she assumes is Adam is just passing the phase of adolescence into manhood. His bright blue eyes twinkling with mischief, he had bad boy written all over him.</p>
<p>Dean looks like a cross between James Bond and Bruce Wayne. Handsome as sin, ready for a brawl, and a total heartbreaker. A compliment she’s quite sure he’d enjoy.</p>
<p>Castiel needs to hurry up or someone was going to steal Dean from right in front of his nose.</p>
<p>And finally Sam... Holy Mother of God could he fill out a tux.</p>
<p>It was if the whole room faded to black, and he stood there like the sun itself. Giving warmth and light to everything around him.</p>
<p>It kills her that she can’t go to him now; to be wrapped up in those strong arms. To brush a soft kiss on his lips.</p>
<p>She’d been inventing ways to see him ever since the promotion and she was running out of ideas.</p>
<p>She never visited his predecessor this much; she used the fact Sam was “green”as leverage with those who questioned her sudden interest in the coder.</p>
<p>
  <em>He needed additional coaching.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He had never managed people before.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>His team needed extra reinforcements for the launch.</em>
</p>
<p>She would have said anything to make all of them stop looking at her like she was a lovesick teenager.</p>
<p>Because, when she truly thought about it, that’s exactly what she was. Lovesick over this sweet boy, who she couldn’t bear the thought of losing. But who wasn’t really hers to lose.</p>
<p>“Mind your manners sister; you don’t want Castiel reprimanding you again do you?” Eileen arches a brow at her.</p>
<p>She can tell the moment Sam sees her, his hazel eyes scanning the crowd. On the inside her blood zings in her veins. But outwards she turns away, feigning interest at the architecture of the ball room.</p>
<p>“Are you fake gazing at the columns?” Anna hisses.</p>
<p>“Hush, I’m busy.”</p>
<p>Busy being pathetic...You are a grown woman and CEO of a Fortune 500 Company. This is not Junior Prom!</p>
<p>“Here they come.” Anna muffles a laugh into her drink as Eileen turns back to the trio of men stepping up to them.</p>
<p>“Hi, wow you look amazing.” As he looks her up and down, she says a silent thank you to the Goddess at Saks. The scarlet dress with its thin straps and slit halfway up her thigh set her back a pretty penny. But it was totally worth the look on Sam’s face right now.</p>
<p>“I um... I wanted to introduce my other brother.” Sam claps a hand on the youngest boy’s shoulders and she can see him visibly shrink in embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you, Adam right? Sam speaks of you often.” She smiles up at him.</p>
<p>“Hi, thank you for inviting me. I am going to be on my best behavior.” Adam parrots and Sam frowns immediately.</p>
<p>“I’m sure you will be. But try to have a little fun too. It is a party.” She tries for sincerity; sympathizing with the youngest sibling.</p>
<p>She’s all too familiar being dragged places by her own sister and being told to behave herself. All those god awful tea rooms!</p>
<p>She notices Dean hasn’t said a word, he’s staring at his shoes as if he’s worried they’ll walk away without him.</p>
<p>“It’s nice to see you too Dean.”</p>
<p>He looks up guiltily when she acknowledges him. “Yeah, you too. Thanks, uh thank you for inviting us.”</p>
<p>“Are you also going to be on your best behavior Dean?” Anna asks and her tone has Eileen already on high alert.</p>
<p>She was royally pissed when Castiel finally told her what happened that day at the gym. Her sister was becoming all too concerned with Castiel, how he spent his time, and with whom.</p>
<p>She had a suspicion that Anna had decided he belonged to her and wasn’t letting anyone have a say in the matter; including Castiel himself.</p>
<p>Eileen starts to speak, ready to shut down any tension between her sister but Dean beats her to it.</p>
<p>His eyes smolder, “I will if you will Ms. Bingley.”</p>
<p>Anna sniffs as if she has no idea what Dean is talking about, “if you will all excuse me. I need to say hello to some people.”</p>
<p>She stalks away; Eileen tries and fails to hide a smile behind her hand.</p>
<p>“You boys are a bad influence.” She grins up at Sam.</p>
<p>Sam smiles back down at her and offers his arm.</p>
<p>“Would you care for a drink Ms. Bingley?”</p>
<p>“But of course Mr. Bennet.” She loops her arm through his and the ache she feels in her chest loosens just a little.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Part Two!!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel:</p>
<p>If he has to talk to one more person about golf, the upcoming election, or something called Tiger King; Castiel is going to commit murder.</p>
<p>He needs a stiff drink and a plant to hide behind if he was going to make it through the rest of the evening.</p>
<p>“Have you plotted your exit strategy yet?” Eileen walk up, cocktail glass in hand.</p>
<p>“That depends, is that for me?” Nodding at the drink.</p>
<p>She holds it just out of his reach. “It might be, but I need a favor first.”</p>
<p>“I have run out of favors for you.” He was never volunteering to help her, ever again. He has been at the Waldorf for what seems like hours now and he’s done very little besides soothe Eileen’s nerves, intimidate a few members of the waitstaff, and make mindless small talk with strangers.</p>
<p>“Ah well then I guess you don’t want this drink.” And she takes a small sip.</p>
<p>“You’re a cruel woman Eileen,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “what do you need?”</p>
<p>“Could you please talk to Dean? He doesn’t know anyone here besides us and his brothers.”</p>
<p>Castiel’s stomach drops; he looks beyond Eileen’s shoulder to where Dean is standing by the bar nursing a drink.</p>
<p>He was still ashamed over how he had acted at Meryton. Castiel had a particularly bad day in court that afternoon and when Gabe suggested a drink he almost refused.</p>
<p>The stress of the day, coupled with seeing Alastair for the first time in almost a year ignited a rage he didn’t know still burned within him.</p>
<p>Thankfully Gabe was there to hold him back or he most surely would have beat the man to a bloody pulp.</p>
<p>But then he’d noticed all three men standing by Wickham; their eyes troubled but defiant in the face of an inevitable fight, and his white hot anger plummeted straight into icy fear.</p>
<p>It seemed like no matter what he did, that man would follow him like a dark cloud. Tormenting him and the people he cared for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>Of all the people he thought to protect from Alastair he never considered Dean and his brothers. How would he have known, they were total strangers.</p>
<p>But the way Dean looked at him; angry, confused. It ate away at Castiel all week. He wanted to tell him everything. Even the parts he wasn’t supposed to talk about.</p>
<p>Every time he saw Dean he felt more and more drawn to him. Even when they were shouting at each other he pulled him in like a magnet.</p>
<p>Castiel had never felt like this before. But he feared he may be one sided in that regard. Especially after their last encounter.</p>
<p>“I suppose I could go say hello.” He takes the drink from her, knocking it back in a gulp. It does nothing to loosen the tightness in his throat.</p>
<p>As he starts to walk away he swears he hears Eileen say something like “finally.”</p>
<p>By the time he makes it to Dean, Sam has joined him as well.</p>
<p>“Hello Dean, Sam.” Both men turn around and Castiel feels the barometric pressure of the whole room change.</p>
<p>They have chosen sides. Clearly Alastair told them everything he wanted them to know about Castiel and their past.</p>
<p>Sam smiles grimly but Dean’s face is a mixture of growing mistrust and poorly contained anger.</p>
<p>Castiel was going to have to tread carefully here. He wanted to tell them everything but knew there were just some aspects he wasn’t allowed to.</p>
<p>“Are you two enjoying the party?”</p>
<p>“Yeah Cas, it’s been great.” Sam looks between him and his brother and sighs. “Eileen told me you helped her out of a jam earlier.”</p>
<p>Dean’s green eyes hold Castiel’s own but he says nothing. Castiel has to look away. He turns to Sam, the safer of the two right now.</p>
<p>“Oh that was nothing, just a misunderstanding with the caterer.” He chuckles awkwardly. He really was not good at this type of small talk.</p>
<p>“Crisis averted.”</p>
<p>“Yes, most definitely.” He pauses briefly. “<br/>
I was hoping to see you both here tonight. I um, wanted to... I wanted to introduce myself to your younger brother.”</p>
<p>God you coward. Why can’t he just talk to them?</p>
<p>Thankfully, Sam smiles genuinely this time and glances about the room. “Yeah you didn’t really get to meet Adam yet. I don’t see him right now.”</p>
<p>“Well some other time then.”</p>
<p>Both men look as though the conversation is over, Dean’s even starting to turn away from him.</p>
<p>Think! What could he do to get Dean alone? He needed to warn him about his association with Whickham.</p>
<p>“Dean.”</p>
<p>The man in question turns back, wary of whatever Cas is about to say.</p>
<p>Castiel has no plan, no rational explanation as to why he needs to talk to Dean, but he needs to tell him. Right now!</p>
<p>“Would you care to dance?”</p>
<p>The words are out of Castiel’s mouth before he even realizes what he’s saying. Dancing? Was he insane? Surely Dean will refuse him. He was such a complete...</p>
<p>“Yeah, okay.” Dean’s voice barely above a whisper and he looks as though he didn’t mean to say it either.</p>
<p>Oh God. This is happening! Okay, just say something and walk away.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” He bows a little, what the hell is that? And immediately turns on his heels.</p>
<p>He can feel two sets of eyes on him as he slinks away. Castiel you are an utter fool.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p>Dean:</p>
<p>One minute Castiel was standing there, and the next he was gone. Dean shakes his head in confusion.</p>
<p>“Did I... just agree to dance with Castiel?”</p>
<p>Sam chuckles at him. “Yup! You sure did.”</p>
<p>“That’s kind of inconvenient since he’s a jerk and I hate his guts.”</p>
<p>“Yes, because I often talk obsessively about people I can’t stand.” Sam rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>“I do not talk obsessively about Castiel Darcy.”</p>
<p>He didn’t. Did he? Regardless it’s not like it was positive talk! The whole conflict with Alastair had set Dean off. And he may have talked (ranted) all week about it.</p>
<p>He looks up at Sam who is trying, not very well mind you, to hold back laughter.</p>
<p>“Dean, you should go have your dance. Just, try to keep an open mind.” And with that Sam abandons him at the bar with his thoughts.</p>
<p>He shakes his head to try and clear the cobwebs further. As Castiel was walking up to them all Dean could think about was how he wanted to demand an apology on Alastair’s behalf.</p>
<p>He had felt righteous, defending their newfound friend. And if Castiel would have denied him that apology he most definitely would have threatened to kick his snooty ass.</p>
<p>But then Dean was staring at him, and his absurdly blue eyes. And the anger he felt dissolved into those calm waters. It was like being put in a trance. How did he do that to him when he still felt so angry?</p>
<p>He looks over to the dance floor. There’s a good crowd out there, but it’s nothing like the clubs Dean has danced at in the past. The band is playing a lively tune and he sees couples of all ages moving in time with the music.</p>
<p>He squares up and walks over to the edge. Closing his eyes he lets the sound wash over him. It does nothing to calm him.</p>
<p>He feels a presence to his left, taking a deep breath he opens his eyes and there he is. Castiel stands still as a statue, a smile threatens to pull at his lips, the other man looks terrified.</p>
<p>“You change your mind?”</p>
<p>Castiel’s head tilts a little to side. Like he’s confused by the question.</p>
<p>“No, I haven’t changed my mind.”</p>
<p>As he speaks the song ends and the band starts a new one. This time it’s a waltz and now Dean can’t help but huff out a little laugh. Of course it’s a freaking waltz.</p>
<p>“How about now?”</p>
<p>Castiel doesn’t answer, he steps on to the floor and holds out a hand to Dean. A shiver runs down his spine as fingers close around his warm palm.</p>
<p>In a surprisingly expert move Cas pulls him in close with a small spin, Dean’s feet falter but he manages to keep up. Thank God for Ms. Moseley and her lessons. He lets Castiel lead. It’s easier, to pretend for a bit that this is normal.</p>
<p>They dance in silence around the floor. Castiel’s one hand is soft in his and the other firm on his back. They avoid eye contact but Dean can sense Castiel is working his way up to something. Trying to start a conversation.</p>
<p>“I like this song” Dean says and smiles when Castiel jumps a little at the sound.</p>
<p>“It’s nice” Castiel murmurs.</p>
<p>Another beat of silence. This was going to take all night.</p>
<p>“It’s your turn Castiel.”</p>
<p>“... My turn?”</p>
<p>“Yeah I said I liked the song, now your supposed to comment on the size of the room or that the turn out was great.”</p>
<p>Castiel frowns. He clearly wasn’t prepared to be mocked about being a lackluster conversationalist.</p>
<p>“I’d be happy to oblige you. Do you have a preference?” Castiel grits out.</p>
<p>Dean shrugs, secretly thrilled to have gotten a rise out of him so quickly.</p>
<p>His eyes trail over Castiel’s face. They’ve never stood this close before. The curve of his cheekbone, the soft shell of his ear, the heavy cupid’s bow of his top lip. Dean’s stares unabashedly at all of him.</p>
<p>If it had been anyone else he would have pressed a kiss to those spots. Lingering over each till the other was breathless. Hot little whispers of what he like to do when they could be finally be alone. Teasing his partner right there on the dance floor.</p>
<p>He comes back reluctantly to the present. Thoughts like that wouldn’t be appropriate here, and surely Mr. Darcy was not someone to be teased.</p>
<p>Cas notices him staring and clears his throat, “Do you always talk this much when you dance?”</p>
<p>Oh good he’s getting ruffled now, time to push him a little further. Test the limits of his control.</p>
<p>“No I prefer to be unsociable and callous. It’s so much more enjoyable that way. Don’t you think?” He raises a brow at Cas and it’s met with another frown.</p>
<p>The hand on Dean’s back pulls him a little closer. They’re practically nose to nose, did Cas always smell this good?</p>
<p>“Do you often go to Meryton?”</p>
<p>“That was my first time, but it’s a great place to meet new people. We just made a mutual friend in fact.”</p>
<p>What does he have to say to that huh? Would he call him a liar? Yell at him like he did in the elevator? He recalls the way the other man’s command stopped him in his tracks.</p>
<p>Cas had to know the power his voice held. In public was one thing; but in private? Heat pools in his belly at the thought of Castiel using that voice in the bedroom. Or more specifically using that voice on him.</p>
<p>“Alastair’s always had an easy time making friends, it’s keeping them he has trouble with.”</p>
<p>“Too bad he lost your friendship.” Dean pauses and Castiel’s hand tightens around his own. “No chance of reconciliation I guess?”</p>
<p>Cas looks a bit offended now, as if he wasn’t the one to ruin the other man’s life.</p>
<p>“None whatsoever. Why do you ask?”</p>
<p>That sexy smug bastard voice is back now and Dean has to bite his tongue to keep from possibly moaning, or definitely shouting back at Castiel.</p>
<p>“I dunno Cas, I’m getting a lot of conflicting information about you.” He’s having a lot of conflicting feelings about him too... and he’d really like them to stop.</p>
<p>“Well I hope I can provide you more clarity in the future.”</p>
<p>How could he be that prideful? When he’s the one who started all of this! Castiel was driving him crazy, and he didn’t think he could take much more.</p>
<p>They continue to dance in tense silence. The heat that ran in his blood earlier is back and if he doesn’t get out of here he just may end up punching Castiel. Or worse, kissing him.</p>
<p>The song ends, Dean drops Cas’s hand and apruptly walks away. His body vibrating with anger and arousal.</p>
<p>How did he do that? How did he make Dean feel everything with such intensity?No one had ever been able to affect Dean this way before.</p>
<p>And he did not like how out of control it made him feel.</p>
<p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p>Adam:</p>
<p>His brothers were a bunch of liars... this party was totally lame.</p>
<p>When they couldn’t shut up about how fun the last party was, he kind of felt left out. Yeah sure he was a kid, but Sam and Dean never made him feel like he wasn’t welcome.</p>
<p>So when Sam told him he was also invited to this fancy deal he was pretty stoked. A chance to go into the city, dress up, eat some grub, maybe meet some gorgeous sugar mama who was just wishing someone would save her from her boring life... how could he say no?</p>
<p>He felt great, until they arrived. And there was no sugar mama, hardly any food, and like a hundred old people! Why were Sam and Dean so excited about coming to this stupid thing?</p>
<p>For the last three hours Adam has been ignored by his brothers, refused service by every bartender in here, and mistaken for a waiter about 10 times.</p>
<p>It sucks, the only person who was relatively nice to him was Eileen and she was currently wrapped around Sam out on the dance floor.</p>
<p>Even Dean is dancing with that jerk who was trying to fight with Alastair. He did not understand his brother at all. How could he even talk to that Castiel guy after what they found out. He should be kicking his ass not trying to grab it.</p>
<p>He shoves his hands in his pockets and closes his fingers around the phone. Dean was being a real prick about that too. It was just a phone, no need to get all self righteous about it. Dean was on his phone plenty! It was just when Adam used it he had a problem.</p>
<p>The device vibrates in his hand and he startles a little. Dean said to turn it on silent, not that he couldn’t use it. Glancing over he doesn’t see his brother on the dance floor. He must have dragged his new boyfriend away somewhere else.</p>
<p>Adam pulls out the phone and checks the display, it’s a reply to the selfie he sent earlier.</p>
<p>
  <strong>I’m sorry I missed that. You look rather dashing in your formal attire.</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>Heat rolls through his entire body, this has been happening more and more in their conversations. Little comments, flirtatious jokes, innuendo that Adam pretends to understand.</p>
<p>It had all been driving him crazy, and while he knew it was probably a bad idea he really didn’t want it to stop.</p>
<p>
  <strong>I wanna bail, this party is boring :(</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Not having a fun time?</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>hard to have a good time when you’re sober as a church choir</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Very funny... I think you’d find lots of options if you were resourceful enough</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>what do you mean?</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>You’re at the Waldorf correct?</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>DUH!</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Watch your tone...</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>Adam mentally kicks himself. That had been happening a lot too, it wasn’t like talking to one of his school friends. He had to earn the right to speak so cavalierly.</p>
<p>
  <strong>sorry, yes I’m at the Waldorf.</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>He waits a beat and he’s unsure if he’s ruined his chances to further their conversation.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Good boy.</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>He closes his eyes, praise washing over him. It was a small thing but he held onto every word for dear life.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Make your way to the men’s room. Someone will meet you there.</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>Someone will meet him, what was that supposed to mean? He knew well enough not to question it.</p>
<p>
  <strong>okay... is that everything?</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>Adam looks around the room. No one is paying him any attention and his brothers are nowhere to be seen. He didn’t want the other to go, not when he was feeling so lonely and out of place here. The phone vibrates in his hand again.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Have a nice trip.</strong><br/>
<strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>He shoves the phone back in his pocket and heads to the bathrooms. There’s an interior sitting area with two chairs and an end table but it’s unoccupied. He pushes through to the main room and stops just inside the door.</p>
<p>Listening for movement he hears no one, but peaks a head under the row of stalls to be sure. Empty, he lets out a little sigh of relief.</p>
<p>He walks over to the sink, footsteps echoing, and runs the water cold. He cups a little in his hands and lets it fall back into the basin.</p>
<p>He’s not really sure how long he’s supposed to wait. Shaking the excess water off his hands he turns off the tap and is about to walk over and dry them when the door opens.</p>
<p>He freezes.</p>
<p>In walks a short, scruffy man, probably 15 years older than him. He wipes his hands on a white cook’s apron and glances around the room.</p>
<p>“Anyone else in here?” His voice is shaky and it does nothing to stop Adam’s own nerves.</p>
<p>“No... no it’s just me.” Adam hates the way his voice squeaks a little.</p>
<p>“You Adam?” The scruffy looking guy asks and Adam nods.</p>
<p>“God you’re just a kid, I dunno about this.” He pulls his cook’s hat off and runs a hand through his dark curly hair.</p>
<p>“Hey man, didn’t my friend vouch for me?” Adam resents being called a kid by a random stranger. He stands a little taller, and the other man shirks away.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. It’s cool.” He reaches a hand in his pocket and pulls out a little bag. Inside are two white pills no bigger than an aspirin.</p>
<p>He reaches a hand out to take the packet and the stops. Was he really going to do this?</p>
<p>Yeah he’s partied before; but it’s been mostly just edibles at Mike’s house. Lou got them like a gram of coke one time but that was a whole lot different than pills. He didn’t even know what they were!</p>
<p>“What are they?” God he does sound like a kid. Maybe this was a mistake.</p>
<p>“Just a couple of Percs dude, no worries.”</p>
<p>Adam’s heart is pounding like a drum; he’s sure the other man could hear it echoing off the black and white tiles.</p>
<p>He nods again and holds out a hand for the baggie, it feels weightless.</p>
<p>“You good?” The man is already stepping back to the door. Blue eyes shifting side to side.</p>
<p>“Yeah I’m good, hey what do I owe you?” Shit he didn’t even think about money. He’s maybe got like $20 in his wallet.</p>
<p>The guy laughs and shakes his head.</p>
<p>“You’re covered.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry?”</p>
<p>“I said it’s been taking care of.”</p>
<p>“Oh... okay well thanks.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to thank me kid, but you better thank Alastair.”</p>
<p>And with that he heads out the door leaving Adam alone again.</p>
<p>He pours out the pills into his palm. Shaking them lightly. He hesitates for about five seconds before tossing them down his throat.</p>
<p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p>Anna:</p>
<p>From her position on the balcony Anna can see the entire ballroom.</p>
<p>Guests are still mingling about despite the late hour. Servers silently rushing around clearing glasses and small plates. The band taking a small rest between sets.</p>
<p>To most people, Anna appears to care nothing for the going’s on of others. And typically they’d be correct. But tonight she’s taking everything in.</p>
<p>There’s something happening with her sister. She’s strayed too far from the path their parents set her on. It was up to Anna to correct her.</p>
<p>Below her on the dance floor Eileen clings to Sam Bennet like a lifeline. Anna shakes her head in disgust.</p>
<p>Her baby sister had a double masters in computer sciences and business. She was top of her class. Her father turned over the role of CEO to her when she was only 27 years old.</p>
<p>She was one of the most accomplished women Anna has ever known, and she was throwing it all away over a pair of hazel eyes in an ill fitting rental tux.</p>
<p>The boy, for that is exactly what he was, had to go. It may already be too late. All night she saw people staring at her sister. Whispering over champagne and caviar.</p>
<p>
  <em>Who is that with Eileen Bingley?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She should be socializing more with the other investors.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You certainly never saw her father act that way.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I think he works at Netherfield.</em>
</p>
<p>Anna wanted to scream and rage at them. Eileen was so much better than all their horrible assumptions. But that was business; and as her big sister it was her job to protect Eileen. Even if it was from herself.</p>
<p>She heads to the main floor; several men, and women look her way as she saunters downward.</p>
<p>The ivory silk of her dress clings to her dancers build, her long red hair swept off to one shoulder in romantic waves. Showing off the long line of her neck and her spine, the dress is cut low enough in the back to make a La Perla model blush.</p>
<p>She knows how good she looks, she spent years cultivating the proper wardrobe for her coloring and body type. If it wasn’t so mechanical now it would have almost been fun to get dressed up for the party.</p>
<p>As she reaches the main floor she spies Castiel frowning into a drink in the corner. Normally he’d have already made a graceful exit. Parties were never his cup of tea. Something Anna had been trying to correct for years.</p>
<p>“Are you lost Castiel?” She sends him a soft smile.</p>
<p>He swirls his drink. “No, just hanging back a bit.”</p>
<p>“I saw you dancing earlier, you told me you never did that.” She pouts a little.</p>
<p>He had told her, on multiple occasions he did not dance. But when she came out of the ladies room earlier there he was.</p>
<p>Gliding around the floor with that... idiotic mechanic. His greasy hands all over him. It took everything in her not to drag him away from Castiel by the hair.</p>
<p>But that was another matter entirely. Castiel was a bit of project. One Anna had spent countless hours on. She wasn’t about to ruin her chances just because Castiel’s eye lingered too long on the other man.</p>
<p>“Yes, I uh... I was dancing.” He sounds ashamed and she has to suppress a smile. He knows all too well Dean is beneath him. And she caught him red handed.</p>
<p>“Would you care to repeat the experience? Or have you reached your limit for this decade?”</p>
<p>He stares into his drink; a small, sad part inside her thinks he might actually say no. She crushes the doubt under the heel of her Louboutin’s.</p>
<p>“Of course Anna, I should have asked you first.”</p>
<p>She smiles genuinely now, Castiel was nothing if not failingly polite. A fact she exploited constantly.</p>
<p>Downing the rest of the glass he holds a hand out to her and she clasps it tightly.</p>
<p>The band has resumed playing, something soft and slow. If she believed in fairytales or romance she would have thought it fate.</p>
<p>But it’s just a song, and the dance is a means to an end. Another opportunity to press her body close to his in the darkened ballroom.</p>
<p>Spinning around she spies her sister again with Sam and she frowns.</p>
<p>“Everything alright?”</p>
<p>Oh damn, he wasn’t supposed to see that. She might as well use it to her advantage.</p>
<p>“I’m just worried about Eileen.”</p>
<p>He looks over the top of her head at the two of them. His expression matches her own.</p>
<p>“I’m sure she’s just having a good time.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t want to say anything but there has been a lot of talk about her good time tonight.”</p>
<p>His eyes pierce her to the spot, right through her body all the way to her center. God he really was magnificent.</p>
<p>“Who? What talk?”</p>
<p>“No one specific, I just heard a few people commenting on her choice... of partner.”</p>
<p>“Sam is a nice young man.”</p>
<p>“Of course, very nice. I think it was more the young part. And the fact a few board members recognized him from the office.”</p>
<p>Castiel curses softly, he was almost on her side. She just needed one more push. She glances around the room and spies the remaining two Bennet siblings.</p>
<p>Perfect timing.</p>
<p>Her gaze lingers and she lets out a small gasp. Castiel picks up on her distress immediately and follows her eye line across the room.</p>
<p>Dean was shoving the youngest one into a chair and smacking him lightly on the cheek. His head rolls back and knocks against the wall.</p>
<p>Oh good he might be drunk or possibly stoned. Either way he was underage and Dean did not look happy. Oh no, he looked positively feral.</p>
<p>He crouches down in front of the boy and forces a drinking glass in his hand. Adam can’t clasp it or doesn’t want to and it falls to the floor. Spilling into the plush carpet and on Dean’s cheap suit.</p>
<p>“Oh dear, do you suppose he’s been drinking?”</p>
<p>Castiel tears his eyes away back to to Anna. The look on his face is enough to tell her what she needs to know. This type of behavior, for anyone, would be unacceptable. But for Castiel especially, it was unforgivable.</p>
<p>He abhorred drug use of any kind. Alcohol to a certain extent was acceptable. She only knows of two times Castiel has been truly drunk.</p>
<p>Once when the three of them were in college and the other, the night his parents were killed.</p>
<p>Both the drunk driver and his parents pronounced dead at the scene.</p>
<p>His hands are like ice in hers as he leads them over to where Eileen and Sam are swaying to the music. Castiel taps him on the shoulder.</p>
<p>Sam’s head flies up so fast he almost knocks them over. Castiel frowns and points over to where Dean is trying to mop up the spill with a waiter, Adam giggling uncontrollably in the chair.</p>
<p>“You should probably go help your brother.” Castiel growls.</p>
<p>“Oh jeez, yeah I better go.” Sam’s hand falls from Eileen’s arm and he strides away.</p>
<p>Eileen looks over at the scene in shock. Her lipstick is mussed and one of her straps is slipping off her shoulder.</p>
<p>Castiel removes his jacket and wraps it around her.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Eileen’s eyes are wide and unfocused.</p>
<p>“Come on sweetheart, we should get you some air.” Anna runs a hand down her sisters hair.</p>
<p>The three of them look over to where Sam is trying to support Adam with his shoulder as Dean points and gestures wildly.</p>
<p>“Eileen we should really talk.” Castiel murmurs.</p>
<p>She just nods as they lead her off the dance floor.</p>
<p>Anna smiles to herself, everything was working out rather nicely all on its own.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter will be up this weekend! Thank you for reading!<br/>follow me on tumblr for schedule updates!</p>
<p>http://constant-reader.tumblr.com</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things go from bad to worse for the Bennet siblings</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean’s kneeling in a puddle on the carpet, the cold-water bleeding into the fabric of his pants, when he feels a strong hand clasp him on the shoulder.</p><p>For half a second he thinks it’ll be a security guard; here to escort him, and the giggling mess that Adam currently inhabits, off the premises. He quickly stands, not wanting to be thrown out from his knees.</p><p>But much to his relief it’s Sam, and Dean can go right back to being pissed off instead of utterly devastated.</p><p>“Where the hell have you been?” He snarls.</p><p>“I was just dancing with Eileen... what happened?” Sam is crouching in front of Adam now, his face a mix of horror and concern.</p><p>“Kid’s drunk... someone must have served him.” Dean shoots a seething look at the waiter who’s still hanging around. A pile of soaking wet towels in his arms.</p><p>“All our servers are required to check ID’s. If he’s underage he didn’t get a drink here.” The waiter huffs indignantly and storms away, water dripping in his wake.</p><p>“I don’t understand how this could happen, unless someone got him drinks." Sam's mouth is a hard line. Dean can already tell he’s blaming himself for not keeping a better eye on Adam.</p><p>
  <em>Because that’s exactly what Dean is doing.</em>
</p><p>Thinking back on the night, he pretty much bailed on Adam as soon as they arrived. And then the whole dance with Cas got him so worked up he had to pace up and down the hall till he could calm down. Which took a lot longer than Dean cared to admit.</p><p>Adam had been left to his own devices for several hours, and in his experience, Dean knew that could only lead to trouble.</p><p>“He must have found someone to mooch off of...” Dean can feel the anger overtaking the guilt again and if he doesn’t get them all out of here, he’s going to have a total freaking meltdown.</p><p>“Let’s get him up, we gotta go.”</p><p>“I already got an Uber. It should be here any minute.” Sam tries to get his arms under Adam, but the kid starts laughing again and slips through Sam's hands; like a bar of soap to the floor.</p><p>“Guyssss.... quit it.” Adam’s barely coherent but enough to know he doesn’t want to be picked up.</p><p>“Come on Adam. It’s time to go home.” Sam tries for gentle, but Dean’s already had enough.</p><p>He kicks at his brother's shoe trying to jostle him. “Adam! Get up!”</p><p>“Dean lower your voice, people are staring.” Sam warns.</p><p>He looks around and Sam’s right, several people are watching this disaster unfold. One or two even look ready to come over and help.</p><p>Thankfully he does not see Eileen, Anna, or Castiel among the faces of partygoers. They must be elsewhere, which is good. The last thing Dean wants is them to see this spectacle of Bennet family drama.</p><p>“You’re going to have to carry him.” Dean decides right there if they’re getting Adam out, they gotta do it quickly.</p><p>Sam bends down and gets Adam’s arm around his shoulder. This time the kid doesn’t protest, and Sam’s grunts a little as he pulls him up to his feet.</p><p>“You good?”</p><p>“Yeah, I got him. Let’s go.” Sam grunts. And with that they make a beeline for the exit.</p><p>Outside it’s sleeting a little and Dean hopes the car will be here soon. The cold must have gotten through Adam’s haze because he’s trying to bury his face in Sam’s armpit.</p><p>A black Jetta pulls up with a little LED logo on the windshield. Dean shakes his head, how are three full grown men going to fit in that?</p><p>“It was the first one available.” Sam comments without being asked. And the driver rolls down the window.</p><p>“Hey, that guy can’t come in if he’s drunk!” He calls from inside the warm and dry car. Dean’s ears prickle in the cold, they won’t make it to the subway without freezing.</p><p>“He’s fine, just a long night.” Dean replies and waits impatiently for the driver to nod.</p><p>“Get Adam in the front, just in case.” He whispers to Sam.</p><p>Dean opens the door while Sam sort of drops and shoves Adam into the front seat. He flops over a little onto the driver and the guy cries out.</p><p>“No way, get him out of my car!”</p><p>Dean reaches in a yanks Adam back upright, buckling him firmly in the seat. He pulls a fifty-dollar bill from his wallet and tosses it at the driver.</p><p>“Just shut up and drive the damn car.” Dean growls as he and Sam climb in the very small back seat.</p><p>The drive through the city is quiet, broken only by an occasional groan from Adam. Every time it happens Dean can see the driver’s hands tighten on the wheel.</p><p>They’re in the tunnel when Dean starts relaxing; he rests his forehead on the window. Wishing with every fiber of his being this night was over.</p><p>Another moan from the front but this time Adam lurches forward, seat belt locking from the abrupt movement. He struggles to get free, eyes wide and glassy.</p><p>“Let me go!” He cries.</p><p>Sam reaches into the front seat to try and stop his flailing.</p><p>“Adam it’s okay, we’re almost home.” Sam puts a hand on his chest to hold him.</p><p>“Stop, I need to get out. Let me out.” He starts to claw at the window.</p><p>“Knock it off kid, you’re fine!”</p><p>Dean’s directly behind him so he can’t really reach but the driver can, and his hand flies out to grab Adam by the arm.</p><p>“Hey man, don’t do that!” The driver yells.</p><p>“I gotta get out of here!”</p><p>But then Dean sees the driver’s concern, Adam’s not grabbing for the window.</p><p>
  <em>He’s trying to open the door.</em>
</p><p>Dean’s unbuckling and reaching up between the seat just as Adam’s hand finds the door handle.</p><p>He pushes the door open and a blast of icy wind floods the car. Followed by the sounds of the bridge and tunnel traffic rushing by.</p><p>It’s horribly loud and it’s compounded by everyone in the car screaming.</p><p>“SHIT!!” Sam also unbuckles to help.</p><p>“ARE YOU CRAZY?” The driver cries!</p><p>“ADAM CLOSE THE DOOR!” Dean thinks he may have screamed himself hoarse as he blindly gropes in the front seat for the door. His hands searching for purchase he catches the chicken handle and slams the door closed as Sam pulls Adam by the collar of his coat.</p><p>The only sound now is four breaths panting in separate rhythms. Dean runs a hand over his brow, and it comes away wet. He’s not sure if that’s sweat or snow.</p><p>“Jesus Christ, you could have killed us!” The driver finally speaks.</p><p>“Keep your shirt on, the speed limit is like 35 in here. We were fine!” Dean does not want to deal with this right now. He just wants to get home and forget this whole night ever happened.</p><p>Adam looks around the car with a bewildered expression.</p><p>“Oh man, is the party over?” He whines and then vomits all over the front seat of the car.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Dean finally stumbles into his room around 3:00 after getting Adam settled. Jesus what a horrible night.</p><p>They spent the rest of the drive with the windows down, freezing their asses off. But it was better than dealing with the smell. Then they had to help clean up the car, before the driver would leave. All the while Adam was sleeping on the wet grass in front of the house. They dragged him into the house and threw him fully clothed in the shower.</p><p>That woke his ass up in a hurry.</p><p>Sputtering and swearing he got cleaned up and sent off to bed with a puke bucket, just in case.</p><p>Dean flops face first into his pillow and lets out a muffled scream of frustration. He was so mad at Adam. What was he thinking getting hammered like that? Dean had been young once. It wasn’t so long ago, was it? Dean and his friends sneaking beers to the basement. Playing video games, talking about people at school they liked, people they hated.</p><p>But he never remembers getting <em>that</em> drunk, let alone in public!</p><p>They were going to have a serious talk tomorrow, later today, about his choices. He rolls over with a groan, he had to be up in like four hours. He should be sleeping not worrying about how everything played out.</p><p>But he couldn’t turn his brain off.</p><p>The party had been a total disaster. Between Adam, fighting with Cas, and avoiding Anna he really had a lousy time. </p><p>Okay maybe not lousy... it was kind of fun to get all dressed up. He felt like 007 in his tuxedo and he may have even ordered a martini because... reasons.</p><p>And the little finger foods passed around on shining silver trays had been sort of tasty. If you liked that fancy stuff.</p><p>The dancing was good, he would have preferred a different choice of partner though. No, that wasn’t entirely true. Castiel really was a good dancer and if they hadn't been fighting, he would have definitely asked him to dance again.</p><p>He didn’t want to think of it now, how it had felt with Cas’s arms around him. It made his nerves tingle, and his heart soar. Being held by Cas, even fighting with him, it had felt good. It had even felt right. And that feeling shook Dean to the very core.</p><p>What would Cas have done if Dean acted on those impulses he had while dancing? Those lips, just longing to be kissed.</p><p>If Dean had leaned in, just a bit further, while they were shouting at each other, he could have pulled Castiel right on top of him.</p><p>Their limbs intertwined, bodies pressing against each other in the dark. Hands touching, pulling, grasping. Mouths teasing, biting, savoring.</p><p>Deans heart pounds with Cas beneath him; punctuating each thrust.</p><p>
  <em>BEAT...BEAT...BEAT...</em>
</p><p>He only has one thought, over and over:</p><p>
  <em>CAS...CAS...CAS...</em>
</p><p>Wailing through his head like a siren!</p><p>
  <em>BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>BEEP!!! BEEP!!! BEEP!!!</strong>
</p><p>It’s the alarm... God it can't already be 7:00 can it? He groans and looks over at the clock. “Fuck me...” he groans again and slams a fist down on the clock. Struggling to sit up right, Dean’s stomach fights again the swift change in altitude.</p><p>Was he hungover? He couldn’t be!</p><p>Another wave of nausea and Dean is sweating through his tee shirt. What rotten luck; he barely had a few drinks and now he felt sick as a dog on the one day he has to go in early. He throws an arm over his eyes, this sucks. He didn’t get hangovers, at least not in a really long time. The stress, lack of sleep, and rich people food must be playing havoc on his stomach.</p><p>Grumbling he gets up and heads to the shower; not giving a damn if he’s making a ton of racket. It was Adam’s fault they were all up so late. If he got woken up in the process well that was too damn bad. Running the water as hot as he can stand, he waits patiently for the old pipes to wake up. After 15 minutes under the pitiful spray, he feels almost human again.</p><p>Once he's finished, he pulls on a pair of work pants and a long sleeve tee shirt. Clomping down the stairs he heads straight to the coffee maker and fires it up. He checks in the fridge and not only do they have eggs, but they have some bacon that looks mostly okay. Despite its earlier protests his stomach growls at the thought of food.</p><p>Pans clanging around he fires up the stove and gets the bacon going. Cracking the remaining 6 eggs into a bowl he’s whisking in cheddar when Sam comes bleary eyed into the kitchen.</p><p>“Morning Sunshine!” Dean hollers and smirks as Sam covers his ears.</p><p>“Could you whisper?” Sam begs, and lays his head on the table.</p><p>“NOT REALLY!” Dean shouts this time and Sam flinches in his seat.</p><p>“Why are you mad at me? I’m not the one who puked in the Uber.”</p><p>“Nah, I’m not mad at you Sammy, I just think if we're going to be up and miserable the kid should be too.” Dean grins, showing all his teeth and Sam shrinks back.</p><p>“Hey is that bacon?” Adam appears in the doorway, sniffing the air.</p><p>“Yes, but you’re not going to want any of that, your stomach must be pretty raw kid.” Dean frowns, Adam's eyes are clear, he looks freshly showered, and he’s standing fully upright.</p><p>“Wait, are you...not hungover?” Dean gaps at his youngest brother.</p><p>“I dunno, I mean I feel okay. Why how do you feel?” Adam bypasses Dean on the way to the fridge. He grabs the OJ and drinks right from carton.</p><p>“Are you kidding me!?” Dean shouts. Fucking 18-year-old bullshit. Dean feels like he got mauled by a bear.</p><p>“Sorry?” Adam shrugs and puts the carton back.</p><p>Dean opens his mouth, ready to read him the riot act when a knock at the door stops him.</p><p>“We’re not done here.” Dean points a finger in his brother face and goes to answer the door.</p><p>Who the hell was coming over at this hour, on a Saturday? He swings the door open wide and jumps back in surprise.</p><p>“Becky!?” Oh no, please not now...</p><p>“Dean! Good Morning! Sorry am I early?” She aims that deranged smile at him, and he shudders.</p><p>“Early? What do you mean?” His head is pounding again, as his second hangover of the day waltzes into the house.</p><p>“We had another appointment silly! I left you messages.” She calls over the back of her shoulder. “Ooh are we having breakfast?”</p><p>Dean hangs his head; she was in the house again. He was probably going to be late for work, and he was going to have to share his bacon with this psychopath.</p><p>What else could go wrong today?</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Becky bustles around the kitchen like she owns the place and Dean has to fight the urge to scream bloody murder. She wouldn’t stop, she wouldn’t listen; she just keeps invading every aspect of their lives. He was afraid one day he’d come home, and she’d be sleeping in his bed: like Goldilocks!</p><p>“You boys are almost out of sugar.” She comments, while scouring their pantry.</p><p>Sam and Adam glare at him; do something! Their eyes shout at Dean in silence. He was the oldest, it was up to him to get her out of here.</p><p>“Um Becky, can you remind me again what this meeting is about?” Dean grits through his teeth.</p><p>“Please sit down, you must be starving.” She aims that lithium fueled smile at him again.</p><p>He can only stare at her. She seemed completely serious about the 4 of them eating breakfast. One big happy family. The smell wafts around him and his stomach lets out a loud growl, she cocks a brow at him, and he resigns. He sits down and tucks into his eggs; they’re a little overdone but he’s ravenous enough not to care. They all eat in companionable silence; Sam taking a sip of coffee, Adam shoveling eggs and bacon in his mouth at breakneck speed. Becky nibbling little bites of bacon, it was so bizarre!</p><p>“Becky, please, as much as we enjoy your visits. I'm going to have to leave for work in a bit.” Dean pleads.</p><p>She finishes chewing, takes her napkin and dabs at her lips. Taking her sweet freaking time.</p><p>“Alright,” she sighs dramatically, “you got me! I’m here to make a deal.”</p><p>Three identical looks of surprise surround the breakfast table. Was she serious?</p><p>“Becky, when you say deal...” Sam trails off.</p><p>“I mean a deal to keep this, charming, house.” She runs a hand over the counter, and it comes away sticky. Her sunny expression dims momentarily.</p><p>“For real?!” Adam cheers.</p><p>“How?” Sam questions.</p><p>“Why?!” Dean barks out.</p><p>“Boys please, I can’t handle all three of you at once!” Becky wrinkles her nose and holds a hand up for silence. “I need to talk to Dean. Can you give us some privacy?”</p><p>She addresses the two of his brothers, but her eyes never leave Dean’s. A bead of sweat runs down his spine.</p><p>“Aw man seriously? I wanna hear what the deal is!” Adam pouts.</p><p>“Sam, get the kid and give us the room.” Dean’s voice isn’t steady, and he curses himself. She was not going to get the upper hand here.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Sam stands and blocks Becky from Dean’s eye line. “Because I can stay.”</p><p>Sam’s eyes speak volumes, but Dean can’t do much more to reassure him now. He can't even begin to imagine what Becky is going to offer. He’s kind of afraid to.</p><p>“I got this.” Dean murmurs.</p><p>Adam’s chair scrapes across the floor and Sam ushers him to the staircase. Once they’re both out of sight her expression morphs again from sweet to insidious in no time flat. Dean’s heart flutters with dread.</p><p>She could ruin us, and she’d enjoy every minute of it.</p><p>“Can we sit down?” Her tone is polite, but Dean knows it’s not genuine.</p><p>“Go for it,” he flips his chair around sitting with his elbows on the back rest, “make yourself comfortable.”</p><p>She sits and folds her hands on the linoleum table. They stare at each other, two gunslingers just waiting on the clock to strike noon so they can take the first shot.</p><p>“So, what’s the deal Becks? Your bosses finally decide strip malls are a dying commodity?” He grins defiantly but she doesn’t return his fire.</p><p>“No, nothing like that. They don’t even know I’m here.” She examines her cuticles, already seeming bored with their talk.</p><p>“Then what kind of deal could you possibly offer?”</p><p>“I’m offering the chance for you to pay the bank what you owe them, so they won’t have incentive to sell.”</p><p>“What you’re gonna give me a bunch of cash? That’s real generous of you.” He glares at her.</p><p>“Wrong again, I thought you’d be smarter than this Dean. College boy and all. NYU doesn’t just let anyone in.” She shakes her head in dissatisfaction.</p><p>His face burns and he has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep in from shouting at her.</p><p>“Well, if you’re not going to guess, I’ll just tell you.” She sighs again, and Dean would really love to reach over and smash her smug face into the table.</p><p>“I’m offering you time. Time to get your finances in order, to get out of debt with the bank. I can give you at least 8 months, maybe even a year.”</p><p>A year? A whole year to break even. It could work, he’s been making double payments when he could. And now with Sam’s promotion he could for sure do that every month. They could get back out from under that crushing pile of interest.</p><p>“How are you going to manage that? A month ago, you said it was a done deal.” She’s got something up her sleeve. How’s she going to avoid her company and the bank?</p><p>“Oh, it would be very simple. Certain delays in paperwork are possible. Forms go missing all the time. It would be nothing for the whole file to get... lost.”</p><p>No way! That seems too... too easy! It couldn’t work, she’ll get caught and then someone else’s just going to take over her case files or whatever.</p><p>“You’re telling me it’s that easy, do stall a project that's been in the works for years?”</p><p>“Dean, I wouldn’t offer this if I couldn’t do it.” She sits up a little straighter and Dean knows right then she’s done this before. And she’s gotten away with it.</p><p>“What’s in it for you? Or is this out of the kindness of your heart Ms. Collins?” He bats his eyes at her.</p><p>“No, I’m expecting to be rewarded for such a fantastic opportunity.”</p><p>“I can’t pay you and the bank, if it’s money you want, I’d rather take my chances with them directly.” He moves to stand, and she lashes out and grabs his arm.</p><p>“Sit down, we’re not done.”</p><p>He pulls his arm free and settles in the chair. His heart thundering in his chest.</p><p>“What do you want Becky?”</p><p>She looks thoughtful for a moment, like she didn't know exactly what she wanted out of this deal.</p><p>“I want Sam.”</p><p>He doesn’t think he understands what she meant. “You want me to bring him back in here?”</p><p>“No, I want... him.” She smiles and Dean’s forgotten breakfast threatens to make a reappearance in his lap.</p><p>“For what?” He knows for what, but he can’t think. He can barely speak.</p><p>“Dean please, we’re all adults here. Just look at him! I’m going to climb that man like a tree.”</p><p>He shudders at the thought.</p><p>“No way, I can’t... pimp out my own brother!”</p><p>“Aww Dean you’re hurting my feelings. Don’t think of it as selling your brother’s amazing body to save your home. Think of it as you’re willing to do <em>anything</em> to keep your family together.”</p><p>“I can’t do that to Sam, it’s not right.” Tears sting his eyes; he wills them back. He’s already so weak, he can’t let her win.</p><p>“No? But are you really in a position to deny me Dean?”</p><p>He wasn’t, he had no other options. Alastair hasn’t even made headway with the bank, and without the extension she’s offering they’ll never be able to pay back the interest they owe.</p><p>“There has to be something else you want. I’ll do anything else.”</p><p>“Well... if not Sam, I suppose I could settle for you.” She stands up now and comes around behind his chair, her voice right in his ear. “But you’d really need to make it worth my while.”</p><p>He hangs his head in shame, she’s already won. He should have kicked her out the moment she started talking.</p><p>She weaves her fingers through his hair and tug his head up. Making him look her in the eye.</p><p>“I’m not interested in you that way.” He grits his teeth.</p><p>“What way?”</p><p>“Pick one.” He spits out.</p><p>She chuckles, “oh you’re a funny one Dean. Look I know this is a lot to take in. Why don’t you think about it?”</p><p>She lets go of his head and it flops forward.</p><p>“My answer is no.”</p><p>“Then I’ll let my team know to move forward with the bank.”</p><p>Shit... he couldn’t think, she had him trapped.</p><p>His phone rings, jolting him back to reality. God wouldn’t have it been great if this was a dream? He checks his display, it’s the garage and he’s 30 minutes late.</p><p>“I’m late for work.” He pushes up from the table and goes to grab his boots. She follows him to the front door.</p><p>“I’ll expect to hear from you by the end of the day. If I don’t, I know your answer.”</p><p>She leaves and he kicks the door closed in her wake.</p><p>It wasn’t a dream; it was a nightmare.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Dean was a wreck by the time he got home that night. The day had only gotten worse after Becky’s departure.</p><p>He was almost an hour late and the owner’s pompous son wrote him up for it.</p><p>He dropped a whole bag of tools upside down on the hood of someone’s car.</p><p>He got in a shouting match with another mechanic over the correct way to replace a set of bushings.</p><p>The sub shop where he got lunch lost his order.</p><p>And he had to stay an hour late to make up the time lost.</p><p>It was a no good, very bad day.</p><p>Trudging, head bent in exhaustion, he enters the house. He desperately wants another shower, grab some food, and watch Great British Bake Off. But he still owes Becky an answer.</p><p>He’s going to tell Sam. He cannot think of any way out of this situation.</p><p>But when he heads into the kitchen Sam is waiting, wearing his own devastating expression.</p><p>“What’s the matter?” Dean crouches next to him at the table.</p><p>Sam sniffs and rubs his face. He’s clearly been crying but Dean won’t mention it.</p><p>“Nothing sorry, I guess I got caught up.”</p><p>“Sam, it’s not nothing.”</p><p>But he just shakes his head and pushes up from the table.</p><p>“You hungry? I didn’t know when you’d be home but there’s spaghetti.” Sam starts pulling Tupperware out of the fridge.</p><p>“Sam I can get that, but you’re clearly upset. Talk to me man.” Dean lays a hand on his shoulder and Sam shakes beneath it.</p><p>“It’s fine, Eileen just let me know she was heading to LA for the next launch.” Sam’s mouth is a grim line and Dean thinks there’s more to it than that. LA isn't Siberia; and with texting and Facetime they should be able to stay in touch till she's back, right?</p><p>“Okay, so when will she be back?”</p><p>“Well, our launch took like 18 months to complete... so maybe next year?”</p><p>“Next year! Is she moving there?”</p><p>“Dean this kind of thing is normal, as CEO she has a lot of responsibility.”</p><p>“That sounds like a company line! What did <em>she</em> say?”</p><p>“That was it, she said she enjoyed the time we worked together and that I’d be reporting to someone else for the foreseeable future.” His face starts to crumble again but he takes a breath and stills it.</p><p>“No man, how did she look; how did she sound?” Dean frowns, could Sam not read women that well?</p><p>“It was through text...”</p><p>That bitch...</p><p>“She dumped you through a text?!”</p><p>“Dean we weren’t dating, she’s my boss.”</p><p>“Sorry, nope! Don’t buy it Sammy. You are crazy about her.”</p><p>“Well, she must not be crazy about me, don’t you think I’m pissed too Dean? But it doesn’t matter, I have no say. My hands are tied!” He slams a fist on the counter and the dishes rattle in the cabinet.</p><p>This wasn’t right. He saw the way they acted last night at the party. Eileen was all over Sam. They danced practically the whole evening. He had to go talk to her.</p><p>“You gotta talk to her Sam, tell her how you feel.”</p><p>“How am I going to do that? She leaves tomorrow, and I don’t know where she lives. She’s not returning my phone calls.”</p><p>“Could you go to LA?” Dean shrugs. People have done crazier things for love. Why not?</p><p>“Like to visit her? Isn’t that a little stalkery?”</p><p>Eh... kinda, but maybe there was something else.</p><p>“Hey you work for Netherfield too, you know! Do they need any help out there?”</p><p>“Harry did mention before that the LA division didn’t do half as well as our office...” Sam’s wheels are turning now; Dean can see a plan formulating in his head.</p><p>“Maybe you transfer out there?” It wasn’t a totally ridiculous idea. People moved across the county for work all the time.</p><p>“I’d have to look into it. There may not be openings... No this is crazy! I can’t just move away. What about you guys?”</p><p>Dean’s heart swells, Eileen did not deserve his brother in any shape or form. He was suffering and he still only cared about how it would impact them.</p><p>“We will be fine. I’m thinking of getting Adam a job at the sub shop by the garage. Then I can keep an eye on him. Plus, you’re just going to be moping around here and no one wants that.” He smiles, that lie about the job came out too easy.</p><p>But if Sam was in LA, then he wouldn’t know about Becky. Dean could help his brother out and fix this mess of a house problem.</p><p>It was win, win! Except for the part where he was basically whoring himself out to a woman, he’d prefer to see devoured by fire ants. But he could get over that. Right?</p><p>“I’ll start checking with the west coast office tomorrow, let’s not get our hopes up.”</p><p>“Whatever you say, Johnny Drama. I think LA is going to fit you like a glove.” He laughs and Sam rolls his eyes at the outdated reference.</p><p>“Ok I’m going to get cleaned up. Would you mind heating up my food? I am kind of hungry.” Dean backs away to the stairs already pulling his phone out of his pocket.</p><p>“Sure Dean, thanks for the suggestion.”</p><p>Dean dashes up to his room and pulls up Becky’s number. He needs to do this before he loses the nerve.</p><p>It rings three times and then she answers.</p><p>“Mr. Bennet I’m so glad you called! Could you hold on just one moment?” She’s got that singsong voice going and she’s not alone, Dean can hear other voices and clinking of flatware as she covers the mouthpiece.</p><p>A full minute goes by before she’s back, it’s significantly quieter than it was a moment ago.</p><p>“Cutting it a little close there Dean.” The viper in her tone returns.</p><p>“Yeah, well I was late getting off work, thanks to you.”</p><p>“Ugh, spare me your whining. Do you have something for me?” He can hear the smile in her voice, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to cuss her out and forget the whole thing.</p><p>But he was out of options.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Yes what Dean? You need to say it.”</p><p>“We have a deal...” he sighs dejectedly.</p><p>“Wonderful, and who will be fulfilling the terms of that deal? You or Sam?” Her voice oozes with confidence.</p><p>He closes his eyes, those tears from this morning prickle again and, not for the first time, he wishes he wasn’t such a goddamn screw up. She’s won. He let her win.</p><p>“Sam’s unavailable, looks like you’re stuck with me.”</p><p>She sighs, “well I can’t say I’m not a little disappointed, but no matter. I’ll start on my part of our agreement Monday.”</p><p>“And my part?” He chokes down the bile rising in his throat.</p><p>“My aren’t we eager?” She hums.</p><p>He’s going to scream if he has to stay on the phone another minute with this psycho.</p><p>“Becky, when and where? Let’s not drag this out.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re going to want to loosen up a little Dean. This is in no way a one and done kind of deal.” She clucks her tongue against her teeth.</p><p>His anger turns to dust in his throat.</p><p>“Now I can tell you’re fully understanding the terms of our agreement. But as much as I’d love to chat, I have a date waiting for me.”</p><p>“You can’t be serious...” Dean whispers.</p><p>“I can assure you I am, he’s a CPA. I’ll text you an address. Let’s say Tuesday night, 8:00?”</p><p>“Wait Becky!”</p><p>But she’s already hung up.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is a big stray from the original P&amp;P story; as we all know Lizzie rejects Mr. Collins proposal. I felt that Dean (being the Dean we all know) would do literally anything to protect his family from harm. We've seen him sacrifice himself (and his happiness) for 15 years! I promise this is not going to be the plot for the rest of the story. And while the next chapter may ruffle a few feathers it all leads to the greater good and the happy ending that is coming.</p><p>Thank you all for reading, I hope you stick with me through the rest of it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: mentions of rape<br/>This chapter deals with some serious feelings/themes. The rape/ non con tag is specific for this and the next chapter. It is not graphic or violent but it does explore the type of rape we don’t hear too much about. Men can be raped, even if they are aroused, even if they orgasm.</p>
<p>While my writing in this chapter may come off as casual, I can assure you it’s not a subject I take lightly. <br/>I want to thank a reader for speaking their mind on this subject and you can see in the comments below I agree with them wholeheartedly on their stance.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No natural disaster, no economic crisis, not even one lousy pile up on the freeway kept Tuesday from coming. It seemed that he was going to be forced into dealing with the consequences of his actions after all.</p>
<p>Dean arrives at the hotel in Trenton promptly at 8:00, car idling in the lot, he fires off a text to Becky.</p>
<p>
  <strong>I’m here.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>There was no point in delaying the inevitable, not anymore. Sam was already getting approval for his transfer, the folks in LA jumped at the chance to get him on their team. Eileen hadn't returned a text or call to him. Dean wasn’t going to burden Sam with one more thing. He was going to handle it, all on his own.</p>
<p>Dean’s phone lights up the darkness of the car’s interior.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Room 401</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>He takes a deep breath; he has no idea what to expect from Becky. She already seems like a total psycho; she could be into some real freaky shit. Water sports, Bondage, dressing Dean up in cat ears and a tail while she calls him a pretty kitty.</p>
<p>He shivers, and it has nothing to do with the cold November evening. This was a terrible idea!</p>
<p>Not that Dean didn’t have his share of kinks; hell, he may have had more than most. It was just those were things you did with a partner you trusted. And he trusted Becky about as much as he could lift the Impala.</p>
<p>He makes his way through the lobby and up to the fourth floor. 401 is the first door so he doesn’t even have the luxury of a calming walk down the hall.</p>
<p>He taps a soft knock on the door, and it opens promptly.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you punctual?” Becky smirks at him; she’s wearing a bathrobe and her feet are bare. She stares at him a minute, looking him up and down in appreciation. He squirms under her gaze.</p>
<p>“Uh can I come in?” He asks shyly.</p>
<p>“Of course, make yourself comfortable.” She gestures past her to the spartan room. There are two queen beds with identical nightstands. A window that, if his bearings are right, faces the parking lot. Its curtains already closed. A five-year-old TV sits on the dresser, she’s got on some news program, but the sound is turned off.</p>
<p>It's as basic as a hotel room gets without being a dump. At least it looks clean, and he can't hear traffic or the rooms surrounding them so it’s a step up from what he was expecting.</p>
<p>When she closes the door, he can see where the bathroom presumably is, and an open closet where she has an overnight bag stashed. Wait, is she spending the night here? Is HE going to have to spend the night?</p>
<p>She glances down to where he’s looking wide eyed at the bag and smirks again.</p>
<p>“Just some stuff to clean up with Dean, don’t worry. We’re not going to cuddle and watch Fallon after this.”</p>
<p>“Becky, I’m here. You can drop the hard ass act, okay?” He wasn’t going to keep taking this verbal abuse from her. She had already won, the constant flurry of insults and jabs just felt more degrading.</p>
<p>The accusation clearly stings her as her smirking lips falter. He feels a small swell of vindication; at least he made one chink in her armor.</p>
<p>“Alright, Mr. Sensitive...” she counters snidely, but the barbs don’t have as much of a sting now.</p>
<p>They stare at each other; the situation is more than awkward. Normally he’d be using his best lines to get his partner in the mood, but nothing about this was normal.</p>
<p>“You got anything to drink around here?” He needs something to break the tension and to calm the nerves.</p>
<p>“As a matter of fact, I brought refreshments.” She smiles a little more genuinely now and reaches down next to the bag where she also has a soft cooler. She pulls out a pint of vodka and gestures behind him.</p>
<p>“Grab us those cups.” There are plastic cups and a full ice bucket on the one of the nightstands. He unwraps their protective plastic cover and scoops up a little ice in both. She cracks open the bottle and pours them both a generous slug. Handing Dean his cup their hands brush and he suppresses a shudder. This was happening; he needed to calm down or he would end up causing a scene.</p>
<p>“Should we toast to our newfound arrangement?” She tips her cup in his direction.</p>
<p>“Whatever you want Becky.” He didn’t have the heart to fight with her. He’d only been there five minutes and it felt like an eternity.</p>
<p>She sets her cup down without drinking. “Dean, it's just sex. You're getting something you want, and I'm getting something I want. It’s a transaction, a means to an end. If you can't handle it then you should go.”</p>
<p>It’s the most honest she’s ever been with him, and he knows she’s right. He’s building this up in his head to be the worst thing ever. But when he thought about it, he’s had sex with strangers, was this really so different than that?</p>
<p>Sure, he couldn’t stand her, but if he could just go away in his head, he could probably pretend she was someone else for a little while.</p>
<p>“I’m fine.” He finally says and she picks her cup back up.</p>
<p>“Cheers.” She states simply and they tap their plastic cups together.</p>
<p>He drinks as much of the bitter alcohol as he can in one gulp, and it burns all the way down. She appears to do the same, taking both their cups and setting them down on the dresser. Grabbing the lapels of his coat she pulls him down into a rough kiss.</p>
<p>Her lips are cold from the drink and they are hard against his own. The two of them stand unmoving for a minute but then Dean feels her tongue press on the seam of his closed mouth. This is it, if he lets her in, he knows what will happen next.</p>
<p>He clenches his fists at his sides. Breathing deeply through his nose.</p>
<p>His mouth yields and lets her slip in. Her eyes gently close and she moans into his mouth.</p>
<p>His brain immediately repels against the barrages of sensations. He orders it to stop.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>It’s not her! It’s someone else!</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>He forces himself to close his eyes. It’s a little easier now that he can’t see her; to pretend the person he hates most isn’t the one with her tongue halfway down his throat.</p>
<p>She pulls him closer and he wills his hands to relax. Slowly he brings them up and places them on her back. Her robe is soft beneath his fingers and he focuses on the texture. Tracing little circles, putting himself into a trance.</p>
<p>Becky, apparently appreciative of the contact, moans again and presses their bodies together. He can imagine what the coarseness of his flannel coat and jeans feels like through the thin layer of silk because she breaks the kiss and cries out.</p>
<p>And she’s either a good actress or this whole disaster is turning her on. Dean squeezes his eyes tighter as a hand comes around and cups his cheek.</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>It’s someone else... It’s someone else!</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>“Dean...” her husky voice ruining the fragile illusion his brain is trying to hold on to. “Dean open your eyes.”</p>
<p>He barely shakes his head when the hand on his cheeks digs its nails into the soft flesh and his eyes fly open in pain.</p>
<p>“I thought you were past this.” Her eyes searching his for any sign of defiance, but he knows there is none. He yielded the moment he said yes to her.</p>
<p>“Sorry.” He replies through smooshed lips. She still hasn’t let go of his chin. He needs to suck it up. This is going to happen. Eyes wide open or not.</p>
<p>He slowly moves his hands around to the front of her robe and his fingers settle on the tie there. He doesn’t trust himself to speak so he raises a brow in question.</p>
<p>She relaxes her nails and its permission enough for Dean. He swiftly unties the knot, and it falls open. He snakes a hand inside the robe and his fingers brush gently against her skin just above her navel.</p>
<p>She shudders at the touch and drops her hand to his chest. Pushing him slowly till his knees bump against the mattress and he sits down hard on the bed.</p>
<p>With the height difference they’re now face to face. Her eyes search his, looking for further signs of doubt. When she finds none, she takes a step back and pulls the robe from her shoulders.</p>
<p>It falls whisper soft to the floor. She stands naked before him, her eyes daring him to make some snide comment. But for the first time since he met her, he can’t think of one.</p>
<p>He gazes appreciatively at the curve of her hips, the small thatch of hair at the apex of her thighs, the generous swell of her breasts, her dusky pink nipples pebbling from the chill of the room. A blush blooms over her face and chest, and he has second thoughts about the temperature. He can feel heat pooling in his belly at the sight of her, and to his dismay all his carnal instincts start to take over.</p>
<p>Even with his body reacting physically his brain is still trying to pump the brakes. He can’t stand this woman, she’s annoying, she’s manipulative, she’s probably insane!</p>
<p>She’s been dangling all his hopes and dreams over a cliff and laughing while the rope frays. Was he really going to have sex with someone like that?</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>His brain and his heart scream NO!</em> </strong>
</p>
<p><br/>
<em> <strong>His dick screams louder, HELL YES!</strong> </em>
</p>
<p>Apparently, he was...</p>
<p>She steps in between his legs and his hands come up automatically to grab her hips. Putting a knee on the mattress she pushes up and straddles his hips.</p>
<p>His cock twitches in his jeans at the smallest amount of friction. He looks up at her face, despite her confidence earlier she looks unsure now. Dean would go as far to say it's the most human she’s ever looked.</p>
<p>He knows this is wrong, and as much as he wants to throw her off his lap right onto the floor, he knows it won’t accomplish anything. He just needs to shut it off. Just for a little while longer. And there’s only one way to do that.</p>
<p>He takes another deep breath, as he exhales, he leans in and sucks her nipple into his mouth; she cries out at the sudden sensation and her hands dive into his hair. He laps at it with his tongue working it to a tight peak. Her hips move under his hand, and the motion creates more of that friction he keeps chasing.</p>
<p>Now this was easier; with his mouth hot on her skin, giving in to the pleasure, forgetting just who it was he was with. He moves to the other side and sucks a red mark into her delicate skin; she moans, whether in pain or pleasure Dean doesn’t really care. His hips are grinding up to meet hers and the denim brushes between her legs, he can feel the heat of her bearing down on him.</p>
<p>“Take off your clothes.” She breathes in his ear. He shoves her off his lap onto the bed and starts to strip. Jacket flying, his shirt right behind that. He unbuckles his belt, dropping his pants and underwear in one motion. He doesn’t bother to remove his boots.</p>
<p>He grabs her ankle and starts to drag her towards him and the edge of the bed, his cock already jutting out, rock hard, but she puts up a hand to stop him.</p>
<p>“Wait, I have condoms in my bag.” She pulls him down on the bed and onto his back. Scrambling up she goes over to the closet and he can hear a zipper opening as she rummages around.</p>
<p>He closes his eyes again. He can feel the doubts creeping back into his conscious mind. He grips himself tight in a fist to force them away. Stroking his cock roughly; it's almost over, it was almost over.</p>
<p>He feels the bed shift as she climbs on top of him. He hears the crinkle of foil tearing, shivers at the sensation of the condom being rolled on, and when she straddles him his hands still on either side of her knees.</p>
<p>He opens his eyes in time to see her guide him into her and take him all the way to the hilt in one fluid motion.</p>
<p>“<strong>FUCK!</strong>” He cries out as he slips deeper into that tight, wet, heat. His eyes roll back far enough where he’s almost sure he sees the ugly comforter beneath them.</p>
<p>She rocks against him and his hands come up to grip her ass. Pumping her body up and down on his dick. On every down thrust she grinds her hips into him, making these small mewling sounds in frustration. He finds her clit with his thumb and starts swirling it around, matching the rhythm of his hips.</p>
<p>“Oh God... Dean!” She throws her head back in ecstasy. Her voice breaks the spell he’d been under and the reality of what they're doing is an anvil on his chest. Crushing him under its weight.</p>
<p>No... No... No... His heart cracks with every thrust. What has he done?</p>
<p>His erection doesn’t quit but his cadence falters despite her flushed and writhing on top of him. Her hands come up and she grips the headboard above his head. The wood creaks under the strain of her fingers.</p>
<p>“Don’t... Stop...” she pants, and he grits his teeth. He needed to stop, he needed her off him now! He was going to have to finish her; she wouldn’t stop touching him till she came.</p>
<p>He thrusts into her harder and faster than before, his thumb circling that little bundle of nerves at her center. She’s dripping wet and it’s all over his hand and thighs.</p>
<p>He squeezes his eyes shut against his growing horror, his mind crying out again and again.</p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>It’s someone else... anyone else. Please God make it be someone else!</strong> </em>
</p>
<p>His body’s reacting all on its own now, operating completely separate from the rest of him. He’s so close to finishing and she seems to be right there with him.</p>
<p>Her mouth falls open as she comes apart around him screaming with pleasure.</p>
<p>“<strong>OH DEAN! OH YES!</strong>”</p>
<p>Her inner walls squeeze him tightly and his own orgasm rips through him,</p>
<p>“<strong>GODDAMNIT</strong>!”</p>
<p>Her body convulses on top of him with little aftershocks of pleasure. She sinks down slowly on to his chest, her hair plastered to her face with sweat. Her eyes are blissful and hazy.</p>
<p>His own are wide with terror. He’s still inside her. She needs to get off him, he’s going to scream if she touches him anymore.</p>
<p>He rolls out from under her, pulling his pants halfway up he makes a beeline for the bathroom.</p>
<p>Once alone he cleans himself off with a towel, turning the red handle on the faucet all the way over. Scrubbing at his hands like mad. Steam billows around the mirror and he looks up at his reflection.</p>
<p>You stupid bastard, what were you thinking? He glares at himself in shame.</p>
<p>“Dean?” Becky calls out from the bedroom and he winces at her voice.</p>
<p>“Just a second.” He calls back.</p>
<p>“Take your time.” That smug tone is back again.</p>
<p>Dean grips the cool counter, and his body shakes in anger. He was so fucked... he had to get out of here or he’d end up killing her.</p>
<p>“Dean... when you’re finished in there, we’re going again.”</p>
<p>He looks back up in the mirror. His face a mix of horror and disbelief.</p>
<p>His body finally gets with the program, it revolts against the onslaught of torture that awaits, and he promptly vomits in the toilet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam’s flight from JKF to LAX left in the early hours of Thursday morning. Ice on the wing caused enough of a delay where Dean was able to grab a cup of coffee with his brother at an airport cafe. They sit at a little high-top table and stare at the planes coming and going out the window.</p>
<p>“Adam’s already asking when we can come out to visit you.” Dean smiles and sips his coffee.</p>
<p>Sam huffs out a little laugh, “yeah he told me about all the places I had to check out. Mike’s family went out there on vacation two years ago. Apparently, there are loads of nightclubs I need to go to.”</p>
<p>Dean shakes his head; the kid had a one-track mind when it came to that stuff.</p>
<p>“Dean, I know you said that job was going to help keep an eye on Adam, but watch out for him okay?”</p>
<p>Of course, he was going to keep an eye on him! That’s his job... Sammy was still paranoid about how Adam had acted the night of the party. When they finally had their sit down with him Adam just said when he saw someone set their drink down, he picked it up. Allegedly, a lot of people mistook him for a waiter.</p>
<p>Now for one, Dean thought that was the most disgusting way to get drunk that he could think of. But secondly, he was kind of impressed by the kid's resourcefulness.</p>
<p>He was young; he was going to get into a little trouble now and again. Sam needed to loosen up. He stares thoughtfully at his younger brother. Looking every bit the part of a bi-coastal jet setter in his dark jeans and lightweight jacket. He wasn’t going to have any trouble fitting in out there.</p>
<p>“You nervous?” He sips at his drink; Sam hasn’t touched his and is staring out on the tarmac.</p>
<p>“A little, I haven’t been away since college. And even then, it wasn’t this far.” He turns back to Dean, hazel eyes clouded with worry.</p>
<p>Dean nods, he’d be going out of his mind if he were Sam. He’s never been anywhere. Barely traveled, came home most weekends from college. This was his home, he never had another. He never really wanted to. It was always his plan to stay in New York. He would eventually get an apartment in the city; find writing gigs online, work on the unfinished manuscript he pulled out every couple of months. So much of that changed when his dad died. It put all his dreams on hold; he was only now just beginning to see the fringes of those dreams becoming reality once more.</p>
<p>“It’ll be good, and we’ll see you in a couple weeks for Christmas, right?” He tries to meet Sam’s eyes, but the younger man is focused on the woodgrain pattern in the table.</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course.” Sam’s voice is quiet, and he looks so worried that Dean wants to take back everything he said to his brother about this terrible idea, he shouldn’t go. There were plenty of women here, more than happy to fall at Sam’s feet. Who cares about Eileen Bingley?</p>
<p>A disembodied loudspeaker goes off and Sam checks his watch.</p>
<p>“I should probably get going.” He tosses the full cup in the trash and picks up his messenger bag.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you want to get that isle seat.” Dean makes no move to follow him. He’s glued to the spot with dread. Is he sending Sam down the wrong path?</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t I get a hug?” Sam holds out his arms.</p>
<p>Guilt overwhelms him. It had been over a week and he still hasn’t told him about Becky, the awful deal he made with her, and the sex she was basically forcing him to have. And now his brother was leaving, Dean couldn’t stand to burden Sam with his problems. He only would have canceled his trip.</p>
<p>Sam pulls him into a tight embrace.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna miss the hell out of you.” Dean says. The lump in his throat won’t loosen but he hugs Sam tight anyway.</p>
<p>Sam sniffs and claps a hand on Dean’s back. “I’ll miss you too man.”</p>
<p>Dean lets go first and Sam strides away. Stopping at the edge of the concourse he raises a hand in a wave.</p>
<p>Dean waves back trying desperately not to breakdown in front of the coffee shop workers. He looks at his feet for a moment and when he glances back up Sam is gone.</p>
<p>It feels like something in Dean’s life is changing in this moment. With Sam leaving he was losing not only his brother, but his best friend, his reluctant coparent, even sometimes his voice of reason. Sam may be the younger of the two, but he kept Dean in check more times than he cared to admit.</p>
<p>He lets out a watery sigh and drains the last of his coffee. Chucking it in the bin he makes his way to the parking lot. He’s almost to his car when his phone pings in his pocket.</p>
<p>He checks the display and groans.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Hello lover.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>Becky... No please not yet. It’s too early for her bullshit. He had no choice but to answer her. She had made it more than clear he was at her disposal, anytime.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Hi Becky.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>“Don’t ask again... please don’t make me do that again.” He whispers aloud to the phone in his hand. Willing her to leave him alone, just a little longer.</p>
<p>
  <strong>7:30, same hotel.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>He sighs, he had been totally deluded to think she would be done with him after a single encounter. That first night, after he threw up, he begged off having sex again. Becky rebuffed his protests, but he was able to negotiate down to performing oral sex on her instead.</p>
<p>The whole night had been... unsettling. Becky’s responses to his mouth and fingers had seemed so genuine. She clearly enjoyed all his ministrations on her. When he was nestled in between her thighs her hands carded through his hair, pulling his mouth closer to her clit. His fingers fucking into her rapidly had set off a series of breathy sighs from her.</p>
<p>It was all so earnest in fact, that as she came his body betrayed him <em>yet again</em> and he found himself achingly hard. He tried palming his erection to hide it, but she caught him. He ended up fucking her from behind with his hand wrapped tightly around her long blonde hair. His orgasm even more powerful than the one before. And he managed to not throw up a second time. Only then did she allow him to leave, smacking a hard kiss to his mouth in the doorway of the hotel room.</p>
<p>Back at home he showered till the water ran cold, and even then, he stayed till he finally felt clean.</p>
<p>After his first orgasm, he felt sorry for himself. But after the second one, he felt a shame like no other. If this was going to continue, he was going to need some serious therapy.</p>
<p>
  <strong>I have to work late tonight.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>He lies without thinking twice, he needed to keep his distance from her whenever possible. It wasn’t fair she caught him at a time in his life when he was lonelier than he had ever been. It had been over a year since he’d been with anyone. That had to be the reason why his body gave in so easily.</p>
<p>His phone starts ringing and he drops it in surprise. Reaching down between the seats his hands search for the smooth plastic case. He clasps it and flips it around to check the caller ID.</p>
<p>
  <em>Bitchy Collins</em>
</p>
<p>Dean chuckles at the very clever nickname he programed in his phone, knowing if she ever saw it there’d be hell to pay.</p>
<p>“Hello.” He barks into the phone.</p>
<p>“You want to try that again Dean?” She whispers harshly.</p>
<p>He rolls his eyes and grips the phone tighter in his hand.</p>
<p>“Good morning Becky, what can I do for you?”</p>
<p>“Better, now what’s this about you working late? The garage closes at 6:00”</p>
<p>Come on! Did she know his freaking schedule too?</p>
<p>“I sometimes do work on the side for people with classic cars. I’m helping someone tonight.” It was partly true; he did do that occasionally. Just not tonight.</p>
<p>She's quiet for a minute, Dean swears he hear the wheels turning in that deranged head of hers. He shouldn’t have lied. She was going to see right through him, call the garage later to check on him, or worse stop by!</p>
<p>“Hmmm, alright,” she says, Dean can hear tapping of a keyboard through the phone and it sounds like she may already be at the office.</p>
<p>He swallows the lump in his throat; maybe he’s off the hook for a bit.</p>
<p>“Tomorrow night then. Or are you working late two nights in a row?”</p>
<p>He slumps down in the front seat, no amount of excuses were going to keep her from what she wanted. He was stuck.</p>
<p>“Tomorrow I’m free.” He grinds out.</p>
<p>“Super! See you then.”</p>
<p>The phone disconnects and he sits there a minute holding it to his ear.</p>
<p>He wants to throw it out the window, or better yet drive his car right into a parking garage pylon. Anything to keep her from contacting him ever again. No house was worth this. His childhood home could dissolve into rubble if it meant Becky couldn’t touch him anymore.</p>
<p>He debates calling her back and telling her to go to hell. But that would mean him, Adam, and Sam (if he ever came back) would be crammed in some shitty apartment because Dean’s credit score was as dismal as his mood. It was not the life he wanted for his family.</p>
<p>He fires up the engine, the rumble calms him like it always did. Even when Dean had nothing, he had this car. And he had his family. That had to be enough.</p>
<p>So, he would continue to sacrifice his body, and possibly his sanity a little while longer. Maybe if the sex were bad enough, Becky would get bored with him and stop calling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>November turns to December...</em>
</p>
<p>Sam keeps busy with work and only texts Dean once or twice a week. He hasn’t seen Eileen in person, but it sounds like despite that he’s settling in okay out there. The workload is more demanding, but its work he loves. Solving problems bug by bug, one code at a time. His roommates are super friendly, they both work for Netherfield West (as it's called out there) in marketing and finance respectively. They invite him to go skiing up in the mountains and it looks like they had a fun time. Based on the pictures Sam posted to Facebook anyway.</p>
<p>His words sound vaguely positive, but Dean can read between the lines. Sam’s not homesick. He may even be thriving out there. Dean worries if his brother may have found his niche in California.</p>
<p>Adam continues to struggle with school, his teacher calls Dean to set up meetings but between the garage and Becky he is rarely able to make them. He exchanges emails instead, gritting his teeth through every “Not meeting expectations”, “Disruption to the class”, and “Frequently Tardy”.</p>
<p>He and Adam have a shouting match so bad one night the kid leaves and doesn’t come back for two days. He called Mike, Lou, anyone he could think of in a panic till Adam came strolling in the door. He looked defiantly at Dean, daring him to ask where’d he’d been. Dean doesn’t give him the satisfaction. He unplugs the Xbox and locks it in the trunk of his car instead. Maybe that will teach the brat a little respect.</p>
<p>Becky’s demands for his time only get worse; his theory about being bad at sex is wildly flawed as he had quote “knocked her socks off the first time”, she doesn't let him off the hook that easy. He’s berated into seeing her almost every night, typically meeting up in that same hotel. One time she asked him to take her for a drive beforehand. They ended up parked behind a pharmacy and she went down on him till the windows were steamed up and he was screaming himself raw from the intensity of his orgasm. The next morning, he spent hours cleaning the car’s interior. Trying to erase every fingerprint she may have left behind.</p>
<p>It didn’t make sense; he couldn’t stand her. But once his mouth was on her and his hands were moving it was like he lost control. Something took over him; all the rage he felt about this situation, his brothers, his job, it dissolves into a red haze. But afterwards he can't meet his own eyes in the mirror, like he’s becoming something awful....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Christmas comes without a visit from Sam...</em>
</p>
<p>He was too busy.</p>
<p>It was too expensive to fly home.</p>
<p>Dean looks down at the nine little words and wants to cry.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Sorry Dean, but it's just not a good time.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>It wasn’t a good time; things at home were going from bad to worse. The money Sam was sending home was helping. Somehow, he worked it out with the west coast office to pay his portion of the rent. Dean suspected there were several perks offered to a person of Sam’s skill set.</p>
<p>Dean made another double payment on their mortgage; slowly filling the hole their dad left for them. It had only been a month, he had to remind himself. Sam would be back, and together they’d get it filled. But there were other bills too and Dean had to juggle a lot of things to pay them all on his own money.</p>
<p>With Adam on winter break, Dean tried to get him to look for a part time job. Graduation was looming, and because of his grades Adam had no prospects of college. He had to make a foray into the work force. Naturally, he was reluctant to do so.</p>
<p>But he was getting spending money somehow. Certainly not from Dean, but every now and then he let it slip he had bought a new video game (the Xbox since released from jail in the Impala’s trunk), or he grabbed food on the way home from school. Maybe he found another sucker to mooch off.</p>
<p>Visits to Becky only become more frequent and more bizarre. On Christmas Eve, he showed up to the hotel to find her already naked except for a Santa hat. She jumped into his arms before he could even get the door closed, placing a matching hat on his head in the process. They fuck against the wall all the while she whispered in his ear that she’s been a bad girl this year. He comes so hard his knees give out and they fall to a heap on the floor. He has to take down all the decorations when he gets home. He can't look that jolly bastard in the face without feeling his gorge rise.</p>
<p>It goes on like this for weeks; Sam too busy to talk, Adam avoiding him at every opportunity, Becky sucking his will to live (and all his fluids) from his body night after night.</p>
<p>They're lying in bed one Tuesday in February, shortly after round three. Dean’s got his hands cuffed behind his head and they’re both gasping for air. He comes down from his orgasm and starts to strain against the cuffs, the key just out of reach on the nightstand.</p>
<p>“Becky, uncuff me.” He pants.</p>
<p>She smiles wickedly next to him, her skin flushed with exertion.</p>
<p>“Now why would I want to do that? You look so pretty all trussed up.”</p>
<p>He frowns at her attempts at flirting. That had been happening more often; instead of insulting him she complimented his appearance, his performance, she even laughed at a joke he made by mistake. Something was up with her, and the smile on her face sent little ripples of fear under his skin. He never should have let her lock him up like this. But she had been edging him for close to an hour and he was too aroused to fight her any longer.</p>
<p>“Please, my uh, hands are going numb.” They weren't yet, but he’d rather start negotiating now before they started to hurt.</p>
<p>“One minute, I’m not ready to move yet. Is the room spinning?” She lets out a giggle and he flinches involuntarily at the sound. “Besides,” she croons, “I have something to ask you.”</p>
<p>“You can't ask me when I get feeling back in my fingers?” He tries to glare at her but she’s already sitting up and turning away from him. She stands and walks to grab a bottle of water from the dresser. She takes a small sip, assessing him from across the room. Sweat is cooling on his body and he can feel goosebumps break out all over him.</p>
<p>“I’m thinking of changing the terms of our arrangement.” She lets the sentence hang in the air between them and Dean loses feeling not only in his fingers but possibly his whole body.</p>
<p>What did she want to do? Add toys, more bondage, other people? Oh God, this was such a stupid idea. He was going to get fucked by some guy named Hector while she filmed it for Brazzers.</p>
<p>He forces himself to remain calm, if she even gets a hint of what his worst-case scenario is, she’ll jump on it in a heartbeat. That’s how he ended up wearing those pink panties for her in the first place!</p>
<p>“What did you have in mind?” Maybe if he seems open to it, she won’t spring it on him. He had gotten her to negotiate a few times now.</p>
<p>“I’d like to see more of you.” She blushes at the statement and all the gears in his head come to a crashing halt.</p>
<p>“Becky, I’m with you almost four nights a week. I don’t know how much more time I can give.” That was the truth, he’d been neglecting all his responsibilities for her. He had to drop everything anytime she called for fear she’d renege on their deal.</p>
<p>“It can still be the same amount of time; I just meant see you differently.” She’s being uncharacteristically coy and while its might be the loss of blood to his brain, he cannot think for the life of him what she’s talking about.</p>
<p>“Like other places?” He asks.</p>
<p>“Yes! Oh good, I’m glad you feel the same way!” She’s beaming at him and he starts to shrink back against the headboard. He has no idea how she feels!</p>
<p>She grabs the key off the nightstand and straddles him to unlock the cuffs. He breathes a sigh of relief, it was over. He could go home soon. But he doesn’t hear the familiar chink of metal and he looks up to her face, twisted in a manic smile closely above his own. The key poised just outside the lock.</p>
<p>“So, I know this Friday is a little last minute but if you wanted, I could pick lunch up for us and you could come by my office.”</p>
<p>“Office? Lunch? Friday? Wh-what do you mean?” He feels that familiar terror again, he walked right into a bear trap and didn’t even know it.</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t be silly Dean, its Valentine’s day!” She unlocks the cuffs and saunters off to the bathroom.</p>
<p>And the trap closes around his ankle with a deafening crunch.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>***Edit: below is what I originally wrote. I would like to amend my thoughts on that matter. Just because I didn’t see it that way before doesn’t mean it’s not what’s happening.<br/>TY</p>
<p>Original note: <br/>If you’re reading this you know what happened or you skipped ahead. Do I think Dean was forced? Not in the sense that would warrant a rape tag. It’s my opinion that while he didn’t want to have sex he still did, and he’s still accountable for his actions. The next chapter makes more mention of their sexual exploits but not in as much detail as this one. And I double pinky promise we’re going back to more of the P&amp;P plot lines. This was a detour, not a change in destination.</p>
<p>I welcome comments and criticism. If you think I got it wrong.<br/>Love you all ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean was able to avoid seeing Becky all the way up till Friday. Shamelessly telling her via text that it would be even more special if they waited to see each other till then. She sent a bunch of heart emojis in return and he had to sit down on the floor of his bedroom before his legs gave out.</p><p>How did this happen? How was it possible he went from being Becky’s walking, talking, sex toy to her freaking Valentine in just a few months? He certainly didn’t act like her boyfriend. They never left the hotel most nights, if you didn’t count the random blowjob road trips. And while he stopped recoiling at her touch some time ago, he definitely didn’t initiate any physical contact without being explicitly told. He had no idea how she suddenly got it in her head he was going to change because of a stupid holiday.</p><p>He mulls it over the whole car ride to the offices of De Bourg. He’s been to midtown enough times in the last 6 months that he swears the toll workers start to recognize him. Things were not at all going according to the plan he laid out. This was supposed to be sex in exchange for time. He was making decent headway on the interest payments, but only three months into this fiasco he was starting to wish he offered up Sam after all.</p><p>He finds a parking spot in the garage below the building; Becky left his name with the guard at the front entrance. He sulks all the way up to the third floor and waits patiently as the receptionist finishes a call.</p><p>“May I help you?” She’s looks down her hooked nose at Dean over the top of her wire rimmed glasses. The urge to call her Ms. Gulch threatens to come bubbling off his lips.</p><p>“I'm here to get Ms. Collins.” <em>And your little dog too!</em> He grins at himself.</p><p>Her face instantly softens, and Dean is taken aback by the sudden change.</p><p>“Oh, you must be the boyfriend! Becky told us you’d be coming by. So sweet of you to come for lunch on Valentine’s day, especially with your busy schedule.”</p><p>“My schedule?” He parrots back.</p><p>“Yes, Becky said you’ve just been swamped with surgeries lately.”</p><p>Surgery? What the fuck?</p><p>“Right, you know me... Is Becky here?” How did he walk into another nightmare with a receptionist? It was like a curse or something!</p><p>“She just left to go get your food, but you can go wait in the cafeteria for her. It's up on the sixth floor. Have a nice lunch!” She calls as he backs away slowly to the elevator. Maybe Becky had another guy on the line for something and double booked? Hey if he could get out this, all the better right?</p><p>The sixth floor is clearly marked with the way to the cafeteria. It’s a big atrium with bright lighting and giant potted plants all over the floor, modern wire tables, white leather booths. Its fancier than some restaurants Dean’s been to. He looks around the space and doesn’t see Becky right off. Picking a table in a spot somewhat in sight of the doorway he can't be accused of hiding from her when she arrives. If he could avoid a public scene all the better.</p><p>A few minutes go by and no sign of her; he sighs and takes out his phone. Boredom already setting in; he really didn’t want to come all the way into the city for this. He even had to take the afternoon off because of her stupid idea. He's about to text and ask if she’s on the way when he hears a familiar voice grumbling to his left.</p><p>“I need those briefs Gabe; it's been a month.” Castiel’s gruff voice dissolves any thoughts of boredom Dean had felt. Every nerve ending in his body cries out at once.</p><p>“She told me they were sent over via courier; I’ll ask her again.” The man from that almost brawl at Meryton, Gabe replies.</p><p>They’re about to walk right past Dean. Should he hide? Should he say hello? It's been forever since he saw Castiel. The night at the launch party, the dance, the argument over Alastair. No, Dean wasn’t in the wrong on that account. Even if Alastair had been avoiding his calls for over a week now. Why should he hide from Cas now?</p><p>“Hey Castiel!” Dean raises his voice over the din of the room and Cas freezes in his tracks. His blue eyes shift over and laser focus on the person who called his name. He blinks in what Dean assumes is surprise.</p><p>“Dean? What are you doing here?” He demands.</p><p>Dean shakes his head; well, he hasn’t changed a bit.</p><p>“I’m meeting someone for lunch, not that it's any of your business.” Dean retorts.</p><p>“I think my friend is just surprised to see you here, this isn't exactly public space.” Gabe foxy smile moves from Cas to Dean and back again until he can see Cas’s shoulder visibly relax.</p><p>“My apologies, yes that is what I was thinking. I didn’t know you knew anyone at this firm.” His tone is strained and polite at best but Dean fights to hold back a laugh. He had never met a more serious person.</p><p>“Well, I guess you don’t know much about me, do you?” Offering up a perfect smile in Cas’s direction.</p><p>“No, I suppose I don’t" Castiel grits out and Gabe laughs at them both.</p><p>“Castiel, please introduce me so I can take over this very interesting conversation.” Gabe shakes with mirth.</p><p>“Dean Bennet, this is Gabriel Fitzwilliam. Gabe, Dean. Are you quite finished now?” Castiel rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Oh, not even close!” Gabe smiles again and plops down in the seat across from Dean. “So, how do you two know each other?” He looks from Dean to Castiel again unable to contain his joy at their apparent discomfort.</p><p>“We met last fall during the Netherfield mixer, at that club The Heart. Have you been?” Dean turns back to Gabe, happy to take the attention off Castiel.</p><p>“I haven't had the pleasure, no. But I heard it's an amazing club. Very popular with the younger crowd.” His eyebrows wing up in Cas’s direction and are met with another eye roll. Castiel is completely different with Gabe then he has ever been around Dean. It's quite the change from prickly, robotic disaster that Dean was used to.</p><p>“Yeah, there were a few kiddos there, but we managed to avoid them right Cas?”</p><p>Cas says nothing, he continues to glower between the two of them.</p><p>“Sorry I missed that, did Castiel have a good time?” He winks at Dean, and Dean quickly catches on that Gabe is trying to get a rise out of his friend. He’s more than happy to play along.</p><p>“Do you really want to know?”</p><p>Gabe nods, and Cas groans quietly.</p><p>“At the club Cas couldn’t be bothered to dance with anyone; even though there were several women,” Dean points to himself now, “and men checking him out.”</p><p>“I didn’t know anyone there!” Cas practically shouts.</p><p>“Well, if you don’t say... Hello,” Dean mimicking Castiel’s gravelly voice.</p><p>Gabe cracks up at this, but as he’s about to reply his phone rings and he excuses himself to take the call.</p><p>Castiel stares down at Dean. His brow raises in a disapproving manner. A shiver runs through Dean, but it's not fear or discomfort. It's something bordering on arousal.</p><p>He swallows hard, hoping his next words come out without incident. “You don’t intimidate me Cas...”</p><p>His expression softens, “Dean I think I know you well enough now to know I couldn’t intimidate you even if I wanted to.”</p><p>Dean blinks in surprise, it's been months since they saw each other and suddenly Castiel knows Dean well enough to make a statement like that. He’s about to correct him and offer the opportunity to get to know him much better when Cas speaks again.</p><p>“My “people skills” are what you would call “rusty”, and I find it hard to talk to people when I don’t know them.”</p><p>“Well maybe you should practice.” Dean smiles. He missed this, verbally sparring with Cas, teasing him. He wants it to continue, but then Cas leans in a little closer and Dean feels his heart skip a beat.</p><p>“You know that smug attitude of yours is really hard to put up with sometimes.” Cas smirks, and Dean’s insides turn to warm melted butter under that blue eyed stare.</p><p>Dean opens his mouth to say something equally flirtatious when Becky comes up with a handful of takeout bags, clearly struggling with them.</p><p>“Hi Dean!” She’s brimming with excitement. Dean jumps up out of his chair and takes the bags from her. Jeez she bought enough food for five people!</p><p>“Hey Becky, sorry you could have called me to help you.” He rubs the back of his neck. Why does he feel guilty? He and Cas were just talking.</p><p>When she glances around and notices Castiel, she turns white as a ghost.</p><p>“Oh, hello Mr. Darcy. I didn’t see you there.” Her voice hardly above a whisper, eyes casting to the floor.</p><p>“Ms. Collins, I didn’t realize we had a mutual acquaintance.” Castiel’s formal tone is back, and Dean can't help but think from Becky’s sudden change in volume and stiff body language that she might not be Cas’s equal. And she might be utterly terrified of him.</p><p>“Yes, Dean’s my boy... I mean he’s my good friend. How... how do you two know each other?” She falters and Dean knows she was totally going to say boyfriend. Yikes, this was getting out of hand.</p><p>“Oh, it’s a long story Becks, well it was good to see you Castiel.” Dean shoos him away with his eyes. He does not need the man he’s totally <em>not</em> interested in and the woman who he’s <span class="u">definitely</span> not in a relationship with to be swapping stories about him.</p><p>“You too, I have to be going anyway. Enjoy your meal.” Castiel kind of bows his head and leaves them to their food. Dean starts tearing the bags open, but Becky just sits with her hand resting on the plastic container, her head bent down again.</p><p>“Becky...” Oh shit is she crying?</p><p>She looks up and her eyes are dry, but they are wild. “How do you know Mr. Darcy?”</p><p>“Huh? Uh, he’s like a casual acquaintance. I wouldn’t say I know him very well at all.”</p><p>Just enough to want to let him take me right on this damn table, you know like how you do with acquaintances. Dean struggles to contain a smile, Becky looked in no mood for sarcastic comments right now. Especially about Dean wanting someone besides her.</p><p>“What were you talking about? Was it about me?” She’s gone white again, this was getting weird, even for Becky.</p><p>“What? No, we were just saying hello. I haven’t seen him in a few months.”</p><p>“You two looked pretty friendly.” She snaps. Is she that jealous?</p><p>“Well, I'm a friendly guy Becky.” He counters. He needed to nip this jealous attitude in the bud right now. He did not need any Fatal Attraction moments in his future. Unfortunately, there was only one way he knew how to do that. Becky needed to be reassured of his “affections” for her.</p><p>Bracing himself, he reaches across the table and takes her hand. Her expression instantly turning to visible shock at the action. He slowly pulls it to his lips and presses a kiss to her knuckles. Nibbling on the soft flesh there. She turns scarlet at the gesture.</p><p>“Becky...” He looks up at her through his lashes.</p><p>“Dean, not at the office...” she playfully scolds him.</p><p>“Well, it's been a few days,” Oh god he was so going to Hell for this, "maybe I missed you.”</p><p>She’s speechless and Dean can almost see little cupids circling her head, but he only wants to deal with one problem at a time. Anger now vanished; she resumes inspecting the bags. He looks up to where Castiel had walked off. He swears he saw his figure linger in the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Hearts and Cupid’s aside, Friday hadn't been totally awful. Becky only pouted for about 10 minutes when he told her he had to leave. Dean just had to promise to be available tomorrow night for her, and for lunch again next Friday. So, he guessed <em>t</em><em>hat</em> was going to become a regular thing... great.</p><p>But she gave him all the leftovers to take home after he told her he had to go back to the garage for a few hours to make up for lost time. Which was sort of, mostly, true. He did go back to the garage but only to pick up his check. He stopped at the bank, and the liquor store, before heading back to the house.</p><p>Adam was nowhere to be found and Dean was more than grateful for the peace and quiet. His brother was gone almost all the time now, and when he was home, he was moody, rude, and even a little scary. And when they did see each other he tried to pick a fight with Dean as soon as they made eye contact. Dean didn’t know what to do, but he assumed Adam was apparently taking Sam’s absence hard. And Dean was the catalyst for that frustration.</p><p>But thankfully tonight, he was alone. Freshly showered and in his hot dog pajamas, Dean settles on the couch with a beer and some of the leftovers to watch TV. He’s barely five minutes into his show and his alfredo when there’s a knock at the front door. He scrambles up in a panic. It had to be Becky, she must have gone by the garage for some overtime of her own and saw he wasn’t there.</p><p>Oh shit, she was going to be so pissed. And when Becky was pissed, she got scary creative with Dean and his private parts.</p><p>He opens the door, ready to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness but stumbles back at the sight of Castiel on his front stoop.</p><p>“CAS??” Dean shouts in surprise.</p><p>“Hello Dean.” Cas stands still as a statue. He has a glow around his head from the porch light and it casts a shadow over his eyes. It’s snowing softly, little flecks land in his hair and on his trench coat.</p><p>“Hi, what are you doing here?” Dean is too stunned to care about being polite. Cas is at his house; how did he even know where he lived?</p><p>“I was in the neighborhood.” He says casually but his eyes cut away from Dean for half a second.</p><p>“Didn’t know you liked to slum it in Jersey.” Dean smirks.</p><p>“Can I come in?” Cas ignoring the quip about slumming it.</p><p>“Uh, sure...” Dean just sort of trails off and steps back to let Cas in.</p><p>Castiel steps past him into the hall, his coat lightly brushing against Dean in the process. Cas looks around thoughtfully at the photos on the wall, he glances towards the living room and steps right on in. Dean breaks out of his trance and clambers after him.</p><p>Cas cocks a head at the program on the TV and Dean dives for the remote to shut it off. Embarrassed to be caught watching cartoons by a man like Castiel.</p><p>“I like that one,” he comments, “the hormone monsters are quite crude.”</p><p>Dean gaps like a mackerel. Castiel watches cartoons? No freaking way...</p><p>“Yeah, that Connie... she’s a filthy one.” Dean chuckles blandly, this was total Twilight Zone.</p><p>“How are your brothers?” Cas turns away from the blackened screen, pinning Dean to the spot again.</p><p>“Uh, they’re alright, I guess. Adam’s been kind of a pill lately. And I haven’t heard from Sam in a little while.”</p><p>“Where has Sam been?” Castiel frowns; the news clearly new to him.</p><p>Why do you want to know? Dean is so confused; he hasn’t seen Cas in months and now twice in one day. At his house no less! Dean wipes his sweaty palms on his pants when he suddenly remembers he's in his freaking pajamas!</p><p>“He’s in LA, got himself a transfer to Netherfield out there.”</p><p>Dean’s a little surprised he didn’t know already. But if Sam’s last email was true, he still hadn’t seen Eileen.</p><p>“I see, well that certainly a successful arm of the company. I'm sure he’ll do very well there.”</p><p>“Right...” Dean doesn’t know what to say, he reaches down and picks up his beer. Just for something to do with his hands. He takes a long swig and catches Castiel staring at him.</p><p>“Sorry, forgot my manners. Did you want a beer man?” Dean thumbs back towards the kitchen. Was this really happening? Was he going to have a beer with Cas, in his house? Watch TV, maybe even warm up some leftovers for him. Did Cas even eat leftovers?</p><p>Would they sit side by side on the couch, thighs so close to touching? Their hands brushing over the last breadstick; a shared smile, an awkward laugh. Dean hadn't known till that moment he wanted any of that. But now that the idea was planted, it would be difficult to uproot.</p><p>Castiel swallows and shakes his head. “No, thank you.” He looks around the living room, taking it all in. The same way you would a museum exhibit. Except they’d call this Blue-Collar Living Room.</p><p>“This is a charming house.” Castiel comments but Dean can only stare back at him. Cas’s eyes come back to Dean once more and he feels heat creep up the back of his neck. He wants to ask him to stay; the words were forming in his brain, they were rolling off his tongue, catching on his teeth. He only had to say them.</p><p>“Well, I must be going. Have a pleasant evening.” He turns on his heels and before Dean can even move, he hears the door slam shut. Dean’s body folds under the weight of his regrets. He slumps onto the tattered sofa.</p><p>“Freaking Valentine's Day” He says aloud to no one in particular, draining the rest of his beer, not tasting it whatsoever.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Three Friday’s later he’s sitting at lunch with Becky, picking at a mediocre burger and fries.</p><p>She’s chatting endlessly about something related to work but he’s only half listening. His mind wandering back to a fight he had with Adam the night before.</p><p>
  <em>It was after midnight when Dean woke to the sounds of shuffling around on the main floor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He quietly rushed downstairs, baseball bat in hand, and flipped on the lights to catch whoever it was by surprise.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Adam had yelped and clapped a hand over his eyes against the sudden brightness. Cursing he tripped on the coffee table and fell to the floor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Jesuuusss Dean! Whatttsss the deal?” His speech was slurred as he rubbed at his ankle.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I thought you were breaking in! What the hell are you doing walking around in the dark?” Dean had shouted at him; he was furious with Adam. It was the third night that week he hadn’t been home. And now he was just waltzing around like nothing was wrong. He told Adam he had to get his act together. And Adam had laughed in his face. He has asked Dean when he was going to bring that little piece of ass around to family dinner?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The shame he felt in that moment was unmatched. Adam somehow knew what he had been doing with Becky, he thought he had been keeping their involvement under wraps.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was going to have to talk to Sam before Adam slipped up and told him too.</em>
</p><p>Becky’s hand on his arm pulls him back to the present.</p><p>“Hey, you went away for a while. Everything okay?” Her voice holds genuine concern and he almost gives in and tells her about how hard it’s been with Adam. But he quickly remembers she’s not his girlfriend, they aren’t even friends. He wasn’t going to let her into that part of his life.</p><p>Yeah, I’m good, just dozed off on my feet there.” He had told her he’d been putting more time in at the garage. More lies to avoid spending even more nights with her. She kept hinting about switching it up to her place, instead of the hotel. He was going to have to address it sooner or later.</p><p>But for today she was content to spend an hour with him, eating lunch. If he didn’t dislike her so much, he would have thought it sweet.</p><p>“You’re working too hard.” She scolds.</p><p>“Not this again Becky...” he was getting real sick of her complaining about his job. If were up to her, she’d have him sit around all day waiting for her.</p><p>“I just think you could take a few less hours.” She folds her arms across her chest.</p><p>“You know I need the money!”</p><p>“Why so you can get your stupid house paid off?” She glares at him and he scowls right back.</p><p>“Hey Dean-o!” A joyful voice interrupts their tense stares and before he can look over to see who it is Becky's hand tightens on his arm.</p><p>“That's my boss!” She hisses.</p><p>Dean slowly nods, most of Becky’s coworkers still thought he was a doctor. A lie he got out of her after their second Friday lunch, when the receptionist mistakenly called him Dr. Bennet in front of her. So, in this building, and maybe once or twice at the hotel, he was Dr. Dean Bennet, Pediatric Heart Surgeon.</p><p>It was laughable, for a bunch of lawyers they all were a bunch of dopes for believing her. Half the time he showed up with grease on his hands or face. But he kept up the charade if only for the sole purpose of somehow using it against her later.</p><p>He finally turns to see Castiel’s friend Gabe walking up, that mischievous smile plastered on his face. Gabe was an interesting guy; Dean was still trying to figure out how a guy like Darcy got hooked up with someone like him. But he hadn't known Gabe was Becky’s boss. That was interesting.</p><p>Becky, intensely studying her salad now, makes no move to say hello. Very interesting... How was this going to work if he’d already met Gabe. Pretty sure he knew Dean was not a surgeon.</p><p>“Gabe, hey good to see you.” Dean reaches out to shake his hand.</p><p>“Yeah, you too. Wait, you’re not on the payroll, are you?” Gabe chuckles at his own joke and Dean can't help but smile.</p><p>“Oh, you can't afford me...”</p><p>“Probably not, but seriously I’ve never seen you here before and now twice in a month?”</p><p>“Well even though I don’t work here, my friend does. Becky you know Gabriel, right? Dean cuts his eyes over to Becky and she looks up at the mention of her name.</p><p>She audibly gulps, “Hello Mr. Fitzwilliam.”</p><p>“Ms. Collins, sorry didn’t see you there,” he glances at his watch, “a little late for lunch wouldn’t you say?” His tone completely frigid with Becky compared to how he spoke to Dean.</p><p>“Yes sir, I was just finishing up.” She bolts out of her chair, fumbling with her takeout container and her purse. “Dean, I uh, I have to go. I’ll... I’ll call you later.”</p><p>She rabbits away and Dean glances up at Gabriel, utterly stupefied.</p><p>“You <em>have</em> to teach me that trick.” Dean whispers.</p><p>“It's easy, you just have to look at them and think <strong>MURDER</strong>, then people tend to do whatever you say.” He smiles and sits down across from Dean, stealing a few fries from his plate in the process. Dean smiles wider, Gabe was a trip.</p><p>“So, besides scaring employees what’s new?” Dean’s appetite magically returns now that Becky is gone, and he takes a giant bite of his burger.</p><p>“Oh, you know, lawyer type stuff.”</p><p>“Sworn to secrecy huh?”</p><p>“You know it! I just got back from a business trip with our dear friend Castiel, we flew in yesterday.”</p><p>Dean’s ears perk up at the mention of Cas. It had been a few weeks since that strange visit to his house, and Dean had gone over every detail of their conversation about 8,000 times. And it kept adding up to one thing; Dean wanted Cas. Now that Gabe was here, maybe he could even get Cas’s number from him. Otherwise, he’d have to wait who knows how long for Cas to show up at his house again.</p><p>“I didn’t realize you and Cas worked together.” He really didn’t know much about Cas’s job. Let alone what kind of law he practiced. Becky had explained real estate law in great (I.e., boring) detail to him, so he hoped it wasn’t that.</p><p>“We are actually an arm of D.S.F.D so I’m frequently at his disposal. He’s been helping with a land deal we’ve struggled to close.”</p><p>Snooze fest, Dean was already bored. But he needed to get the conversation to stay on Cas a little while longer.</p><p>“Will you two have more travel in your future?”</p><p>“Only if he doesn’t put off again. But he arranges these trips as he pleases.”</p><p>“And I take it Cas does what he pleases quite often.”</p><p>Gabe smirks and takes another fry. “I don’t know anyone who enjoys the power of doing as he pleases more than Castiel.”</p><p>“Bit of a control freak huh?” Dean grins, he couldn’t have picked a better term for Castiel.</p><p>“People would call him that, but most of the time they go along with whatever he says. His intuition is unparalleled and he’s usually correct in most situations.” Gabe leans in a little closer now, lowering his voice so only Dean can hear. “Recently he even helped save a close friend from a seemly bad relationship.”</p><p>Dean feels a dim bell ringing in the back of his head. He edges closer. Eyes and ears wide open. “What happened?”</p><p>“Well, I only know a little but, Castiel’s friend had an intern or something that developed a huge crush on her, and she reciprocated.”</p><p>An intern...Wait, he’s not talking about Eileen and Sam, is he?</p><p>“So, Castiel reminded her that a woman in her position would be judged more severely over her choice of partner.” Gabe continues.</p><p>It had to be her, how many executive, female friends could Cas have? He had been right about her too, Eileen was just as stuck up as her sister.</p><p>“But she’s the one who broke it off?” Dean tries to keep his voice casual.</p><p>It wasn’t Cas, it had to be all Eileen <em>and</em> Anna. That woman was rotten to the core.</p><p>“Not at first, but after some convincing Castiel made a very strong case against the young man.”</p><p>But why? Sam had been nothing but wonderful to Eileen, and Castiel. Why would he sabotage them like that?</p><p>Dean struggles to clear the shards of glass from his throat. “What were his reasons?”</p><p>Gabe can't know who he’s talking about. If he did, he’d surely never be talking about it to Dean.</p><p>“Like I said I don’t know all the details, but he did say that his family was a big factor. A bunch of white trash drunks.” Gabe shrugs his shoulders.</p><p>The glass in Dean’s throat shatters and he’s drowning on his own blood. Castiel split them up? He convinced Eileen that Sam wasn’t good enough and she broke his fucking heart. No, there’s no way Cas could be that cold and unfeeling. He had to find him. Gabe had to have gotten it wrong.</p><p>“Gabe, I gotta get going.” He shakily gets to his feet.</p><p>“See you later buddy.” Gabe waves absentmindedly as Dean sprints out of the cafeteria</p><p>Bypassing the elevator for the stairs, he runs down 6 flights at breakneck speed. On the street rain is just beginning to fall, the bitter March wind whips at his face. Gasping for air he stumbles to the curb and hails a cab.</p><p>He was going to see Castiel right now. And he was going to get some goddamn answers.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Confessions</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean’s up and out of the cab before it even comes to a stop. He pushes past a couple exiting the building with a rude shove and marches right up to the reception desk. He was really racking them up this year, maybe they had a freaking punch card for him.</p><p>“May I help you?” This receptionist is a redhead, and she looks like she locks up pretty blondes in a tower on weekends. Dean’s not going to waste any time smiling or lying to her.</p><p>“Castiel Darcy, and no I don’t have an appointment.” He barks.</p><p>The dragon lady only glares, “If you don’t have an appointment then you’ll have to leave.”</p><p>Dean does not have time for this bullshit and the chances of Cas, or God forbid Anna, coming in to rescue him a second time seem unlikely.</p><p>“Look ah,” he glances at her name badge, “Naomi, I don’t have an appointment but Darcy’s going to want to see me.”</p><p>“I seriously doubt that...”</p><p>“LISTEN! Just pick up your little phone, call his office, and tell him Dean Bennet is here.”</p><p>Out the corner of his eye Dean spies the largest rent-a-cop he’s ever seen. The dude could easily have been center forward for the Knicks.</p><p>“Mr. Bennet, I think you need to calm down.” The giant has a deep baritone voice, designed to soothe welcome guests and intimidate trespassers. Dean falls into the latter category about now.</p><p>“I am calm,” he lets out a deep breath, willing his shoulders to relax, "I just really need to see Mr. Darcy.” He addresses Naomi but she’s not buying it.</p><p>“Randolf, can you please escort Mr. Bennet outside?”</p><p>“Mr. Bennet you can be escorted out or leave on your own two feet.” The guard sounds like he’s right behind Dean now.</p><p>“Wait!” Dean shoots up his hands before Tiny here can grab him. “Can I at least leave a message?”</p><p>Naomi exhales through her nose for what seems like 45 minutes, “What’s the message?”</p><p>“Uh, just tell him that Dean Bennet was here. And I really need to speak with him right away. I can leave my number, if that’s alright?” His voice is calmer now, but his heart is galloping in his chest.</p><p>She hands him a blank business card and he scrawls his number on the back side. Putting it back in her clawed hands, he turns to leave. It almost looks like she leans down to throw it right in the trash, but it may have been his imagination.</p><p>He sulks all the way back to the subway station, his coat wrapped around him against the wind and the rain. Both of which had picked up considerably during his disappointing altercation.</p><p>Dean stares dejected out the window of the subway, his anger diminished but not yet gone. He was heading home, maybe he could work out for a while. He needed something to burn off all this energy. At the very least he could head to the garage; there was always work to be done.</p><p>His car waits patiently in the lot on the Jersey side of the river. He runs to it, getting soaked again in the process. Once inside he cranks the heater and waits a few minutes for warm air to pump through the vents. But even when it comes, he still feels cold all over.</p><p>He had been right about him all along. Castiel was as unfeeling and prideful as they come. Dean grinds his fists into the steering wheel. He was going to find a way to make Castiel pay for hurting his brother, even if he had to make a freaking appointment to do it.</p><p>His anger not abated by the short drive home; he rockets the car around the corner to his street. Coming to a screeching halt just short of the driveway, splashing water on the sidewalk in waves.</p><p>There’s a black town car parked in his spot. He squints through the windshield, wipers flapping like mad. He doesn’t recognize it, climbing out he jogs up the drive but doesn’t slow past the car door.</p><p>It’s still pouring and whoever it is can come to the door. Dean wants to get inside as soon as possible.</p><p>He’s almost to the stoop when he hears the car door open behind him.</p><p>“Dean!” Castiel shouts to be heard over the rain. Dean spins around, fists already tight at his sides. “I heard you came by the office.” Cas is standing under a black umbrella. He has that trench coat on again, but his suit looks warm and dry.</p><p>“Yeah, I did... you got here fast. Easy for a lawyer to get out of a speeding ticket I assume.” Dean makes no move to leave the porch.</p><p>“Could we go inside and talk?” Castiel gestures behind him to the house.</p><p>“What’s the matter? That suit can’t get wet?” He didn’t want that man in his house ever again, he was no longer a welcomed guest. He was an intruder.</p><p>Castiel sighs and leans down into the open car door. When he stands back up, he’s left the umbrella and his coat is already turning dark from the rain. He closes the door and starts walking up the driveway.</p><p>“I was hoping to see you, I was surprised to hear you came by.”</p><p>“I had some things to say...” Dean starts but Cas holds up a hand.</p><p>“I do too, do you mind if I go first?” His eyes plead a little with Dean and he closes his mouth mid-sentence. Fine, let the bastard dig himself a hole. Dean was going to bury him in it.</p><p>Castiel wrings his hands; “Since I met you, I have been a mess. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I have struggled with feelings I could not name. Because of them I have fought a war against myself; ignoring better judgement, my family’s reputation, your own social standing, my partnership at the firm. But I decided I’m willing to put that all aside.”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Dean breaks into this monologue.</p><p>Cas steps forward again, struggling to speak, “Dean I... I have... I have feelings for you, strong feelings.”</p><p>HE HAS WHAT? Dean thought he was here to apologize, not confess his love or whatever the hell this was. How was Dean even supposed to respond to that? How could Cas think this was okay?</p><p>“Well, Cas, I’m sorry that you’ve been tormented but if it’s because of something I did or said... it wasn’t on purpose.” Dean’s heart begins to pound. Castiel has stopped walking, frozen, coat hanging off his shoulders.</p><p>“Is that your answer?” He cocks his head in what Dean’s come to know as his trademark expression.</p><p>“Yes.” Dean lip wants to tremble, but he closes his mouth tightly.</p><p>His deep blue eyes widen. “Are you... rejecting me?”</p><p>“I’m sure all the reasons you just listed as to why it’s a bad idea will help you get over it.” Dean’s words turn sour in his mouth. The conceited prick...</p><p>“Can I ask why?”</p><p>“I might ask you the same thing. If it's against your better judgement, then why are you even here?”</p><p>Cas doesn’t answer, but Dean’s not done.</p><p>“Besides, my answer shouldn’t really surprise you, I have other reasons for turning you down, you know I do. Do you think in any world I'd be interested in somebody who ruined my brother’s life?”</p><p>Cas’s eyes widen again, but this time in recognition. Good, Dean thinks, now we’re all on the same page.</p><p>“You’re not even going to deny it are you?” Dean shakes his head.</p><p>“No, I won’t deny it.” Castiel holds his gaze with Dean, far too proud to look ashamed now.</p><p>Dean bites back a curse, “How could... Why? Just tell me why you did it?”</p><p>Cas takes another step closer. “I believed his affections to be fictitious.”</p><p>“Fictitious? Can you ever speak like a normal person!”</p><p>“I watched them carefully and I believed he fabricated an attachment to her. That he was only interested because of her position, and wanted to take advantage of that.”</p><p>“He didn’t ask for that goddamn promotion; it was given, and it was earned. And he’s not fabricating anything. Any idiot can see their both crazy about each other!” Dean takes a step of the porch, ready to deck Cas if he keeps talking shit about Sam like that.</p><p>“Eileen also thought it may be inappropriate to develop a relationship with someone who worked under her.”</p><p>“Because you suggested it!”</p><p>“I did it for her own good!” Cas shouts, pausing only to take a breath. “There was also the matter of your brother.”</p><p>“You’ve already made your opinion of Sam pretty clear.” Dean grits through his teeth.</p><p>“Not him, Adam. You know as well as I do that Adam behaved most inappropriately that night at the launch party. If the authorities had been called, he would have been arrested and Netherfield could have been held liable. They could have lost investors if the press could have gotten wind of it.”</p><p>Dean doesn’t even want to unpack all that right now. Adam was his problem, and he resented the hell out of Cas for throwing that in his face. He can’t believe how manipulative Cas is. He’s ruined lives just because he thought he was right. He did it with Sam, he even did it to Alastair. He did it to Alastair too...</p><p>“Okay that was for Eileen’s own good, sure. But what about Alastair Whickham?</p><p>Castiel’s eyes ignite in fury. “What about Alastair?”</p><p>“Who’s good was that for Cas, hmm?”</p><p>“You shouldn’t concern yourself with things you know nothing about.” His voice, a roll of thunder against the rain falling around them.</p><p>“Oh, I know plenty; he told us all about it, his misfortunes.”</p><p>Cas’s tone is positively lethal, “Yes, his misfortunes have been very great indeed.”</p><p>“It seems like your real broken up about it. You must just love fucking with people’s lives!”</p><p>Cas is standing right in his face now. “So, this is your opinion of me? Thank you for explaining it so fully. Perhaps these offenses could have been overlooked if your pride had not been hurt.”</p><p>“My pride? Fuck you Cas!” Dean squares up, he’s going to punch this uppity bastard right in the teeth.</p><p>“Your pride; hurt by my honesty about you and your family. Did you really expect me to be happy I was falling for someone like you? He leans in closer, Dean falters.</p><p>“You put up a good act Darcy, but you don’t fool me!” Dean knows he should probably stop but he’s just getting warmed up. “The first night we met, I <em>knew</em> you were arrogant, I <em>knew</em> you were rude, but now I know you’re far worse. You’re manipulative, and don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself. I <em>knew</em> I couldn’t barely be friends with you let alone have a relationship with you. You are the last person I would ever want to be with!”</p><p>They were standing nose to nose now, chests heaving. Both, too proud to admit they had each gone too far. Dean searches Cas’s eyes for any sign of regret, but he sees something much darker in the other man’s eyes. Castiel looks down to Dean’s lips and up again. Dean trembles under that gaze, wondering just how much longer he can hold onto this sliver of control.</p><p>Cas immediately withdraws. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.</p><p>He stomps off to his car, not sparing Dean a second glance. As it pulls out of the driveway Dean sits down on the stoop, already soaked to the bone he doesn’t feel the need to rush inside anymore. He doesn’t feel the need for much of anything.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Dean finally goes inside when he can’t stop shivering; his clothes are soaked through all the way to his underwear and his teeth chatter uncontrollably. He struggles to pull off his boots and leaves puddles of water all over the floor. Stripping and throwing everything including his coat in the washer, he covers with a blanket and makes his way upstairs to warm up.</p><p>He sits on the floor of the shower, legs too weak to stand. He stays there for a long time, thinking over everything they just fought about. Castiel’s words sink into him, blade after blade, cut after cut. He felt wounded beyond measure. Water cascading down his face, he closes his eyes but all he can see are two blue ones staring back at him. So confused, so hurt, so angry. Dean not sure if he’s talking about himself or Castiel.</p><p>Dressing in his comfiest clothes he trudges back downstairs and makes a cup of coffee. Settling himself on the couch, it sits untouched as Dean stares into space. Slowly his head falls to his chest and his eyes eventually close. Dean drifts in and out of sleep; fits and starts plagued with nightmares.</p><p>
  <em>He’s standing in the pouring rain, Cas is crying and telling him he loves him. His beating heart held out in his hands for Dean to take, Becky coming up and knocking it away just as he starts to reach for it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s not for you Dean! You’re nothing, you’re no one!</em>
</p><p>He sits up with a startled gasp to the sounds of knocking on his front door, its full dark outside now. He groans and rolls off the couch to the floor. Sleepwalking to the door he opens it a crack. Headlights from the driveway sear into his already fuzzy eyes. He throws a hand up against the glare and opens the door wider. Blinking away the black spots in his vision he thinks he sees Cas standing there, same wet trench coat from earlier today (yesterday?). He’s pressing something in Dean’s hand and as Dean looks down at the object the lights fade away.</p><p>He wakes up standing alone on the doorstep. Staring out into the cold, dark, night. The rain has stopped but the wind still howls. Why was he at the door? Reaching up to close it something white in his hand catches his eye. It's an envelope; but with no name or address on the front. He shuts the door and tears it open.</p><p>
  <em>Dean, I’m not going to renew my sentiments again. Given your opinion of me...</em>
</p><p>It's from Castiel. He was here; Dean scans the letter from the hall. Reading and walking he goes back to the couch and sits back down.</p><p>
  <em>Dean, I’m not going to renew my sentiments again. Especially since my behavior was so offensive to you. Given your opinion of me, I don’t expect this to change your mind, but I would like to be clear about two things. Things I believe you were misinformed about.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When we were younger, Alastair and I were quite close; we were in college together and engaged in friendly competition for many awards and accolades. Or at least, I thought it was friendly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As we entered our senior year, Alastair became more and more involved with drugs and alcohol. Yes, we were all young and young people push the limits of their own control; however, Alastair pushed them far beyond their breaking point and the confines of the law. He began to entertain, mostly underage boys and girls, multiple nights a week at his apartment. Did I attend those parties? Yes, in my early 20’s I was a frequent guest there. But after a time, I lost interest in that crowd. It became one of the catalysts that would end our friendship.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After graduation we were both hired at the same firm and our competition became much more serious to him. He was convinced my family’s reputation gave me an unfair advantage, my father had been a patron of that firm for years and was until his death. I resented his accusations, for I had never relied on my father for anything to do with my performance at school or work, and because of that resentment our unstable friendship dissolved, permanently.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Several years past and from what I had heard in rumors, Alastair’s appetites only grew more dangerous. Around the time we were both up for promotion to be made partner I received a call late one night from my younger sister, Claire. Her friend had been at a party in the city, and she wasn’t picking up her phone. Claire asked if I could go over there and check on her, and I agreed only because she seemed so upset.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I got to the party, I found Alastair, along with several other men my age entertaining a few young girls. There were drugs and alcohol all over the apartment, and when I tried to force my way in to search for my sister’s friend I was threatened with physical violence. I live with the shame over what happened next every day; and I suspect I will for the rest of my life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I left her there, I was greatly outnumbered and cowardly. Alastair told me Jane was fine, and I was overreacting. And while I didn’t believe him, I had no proof otherwise, no one at the party seemed distressed, and I was causing a scene. I should have trusted my intuition; I should have fought harder to get in the door. Jane died that night of a drug overdose. Her unconscious body was dropped off at a local ER anonymously a few hours after I left the apartment. She was barely 16 years old.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I went to the police as soon as Claire told me what happened; but by then there was no physical evidence she was ever at the party and Alastair denied ever meeting the girl. I’ve been working for over a year now to get him convicted, when the charges were brought against him the firm fired him in fear of the scandal it would bring. I had to sign an NDA as part of the terms of his termination so he wouldn’t sue the firm.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am breaking that contract by telling you all this. But that night I saw you and your family at Meryton, I only saw my sister sobbing in my arms over the loss of her friend. I swore a vow I wouldn’t let him hurt another family the way he’s hurt mine or Jane’s.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Secondly, with regards to Eileen and your brother; while to you my motives seem superficial, they were only in what I believed to be her best interest. She’s been my best friend for years and is more like family. People have come into her life and tried to take advantage of her kind heart, for it is endless. I only wanted to protect her; if I misjudged your brother’s intentions then I owe him, and you, an apology.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t expect, nor deserve, a response to this letter. I only wanted to rectify the assumptions that were made.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sincerely, Castiel</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Tears threaten to fall from Dean’s eyes and drip on the paper, he wipes them away with the heel of his hand. That poor girl, and her family. Dean couldn’t fathom that kind of loss, the pain that they must feel.</p><p>He reads the letter a second time, studying every sentence; his feelings towards its writer were at times widely different. One minute he’s furious at the way Cas still justifies his actions regarding Sam, but in the next he empathizes with a brother’s overwhelming desire to protect his sibling, at any cost.</p><p>Would he have made the same call when confronting Alastair? Probably, Dean was no coward but when facing a friend, even a former one, he couldn’t begin to imagine how hard that could have been.</p><p>Dean doesn’t know what to believe anymore but he knows he was wrong, his pride had been hurt. And it caused him to say things he may not ever be able to take back. He’s on his third pass through the letter, fingers absently tracing the heavy script, when the front door opens quietly.</p><p>Adam tiptoes past the entryway and is making his way to the kitchen when he spies Dean on the couch. He stops and they face each other.</p><p>“You’re up early,” Adam doesn’t accuse him. But it’s more of a statement than a question.</p><p>“I don’t even know what time it is.” Dean confesses. He has been too wrapped up in the letter and the fight with Cas to even notice Adam wasn’t here.</p><p>“It’s almost 5:00,” he stares at Dean warily, “are you okay man?”</p><p>5:00? He may have been up all night. He drags a hand through his hair and stands up from the couch.</p><p>“I don’t really know.” His back is stiff, his knees crackle and pop, but more than that he aches, for something he can’t name.</p><p>“What’s that?” Adam points to the papers still on the coffee table. Dean bends down and folds them up gently.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it Adam.” He answers glumly. The last person he wanted to talk to about Cas was his punk younger brother.</p><p>But he needs to talk to him, doesn’t he? And Sam too, warn them about Alastair. Not that he had been contacting them, the last time they spoke was through email to go over expenses. But better safe than sorry.</p><p>“Look Adam...” Dean starts but Adam cuts him off.</p><p>“Hey I get it, you don’t want to talk to some “kid” about your problems or whatever. I don’t want to hear about it anyway.” He stomps off to his room without another word.</p><p>Dean sighs, probably could have gone a little smoother. It was way too early to call Sam. But maybe he could text him to call him later?</p><p>His phone’s been upstairs on the charger all night, so he heads up still thinking about all the things Cas told him.</p><p>They should probably find another lawyer to help them. Or he should at least ask Alastair about it. Maybe Cas did have it wrong. But it didn’t feel wrong, he didn’t know what to do.</p><p>He slumps down on the bed and covers his eyes. He was so tired, not just physically but in his soul. If he could just hide under his covers till all his problems went away, he’d be happy.</p><p>His phone vibrates on the table and he reaches out blindly for it. Picking it up the screen comes to life, glowing bright in the darkness of his bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>10 missed calls</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>6 text messages</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>3 voicemails</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Oh shit, Becky had been calling him all night! Pretty much every hour from the time she got out of work. He was in big trouble.</p><p>But there’s also a call from Sam with a voicemail and he immediately brightens. Pulling up the message he hears his brother’s voice.</p><p>
  <strong>“Hey Dean, not sure if I messed up the time difference or your out with friends, anyway they sprung us for a 3 day weekend and I’m heading home! Going to hop on a red eye here in a few hours. Ummm, probably getting in about 7:00 am, if you get this and you’re awake wanna pick me up? If not, I know my way home. See ya soon. Bye.” </strong>
</p><p>Dean feels a grin tug at his lips, Sam was coming home. Today; Dean looks at the time, like right now! He scrambles up to get showered and dressed.</p><p>30 minutes later he’s flying out the front door. Thoughts of Becky and her increasingly angry messages already forgotten.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Sam looks fit, tan, and so “California” it makes Dean’s teeth hurt. But more importantly, he looks happy. They're sitting in a faded red booth at their favorite diner; Dean with a mountain of bacon, scrambled eggs, and potatoes on his pate, Sam has an egg white omelet with spinach and tomato on his own. Dean shakes his head when he gave the waiter their order.</p><p>“So, the launch is going good huh?” Dean asks around a mouthful of food.</p><p>Sam cuts his eggs delicately with a knife and nods, “Yes, were actually ahead of schedule. Hence the long weekend.”</p><p>“All because of you I’m sure.”</p><p>Sam blushes a little, “It's a good team. They just needed someone to take point on a bunch of stuff. They kept waiting for one of them to lead, but no one really wanted to.</p><p>Dean swells with pride, “Yeah it was because of you.”</p><p>“Maybe a little.”</p><p>They eat in silence for a bit, Dean’s noticed Sam has talked about a lot of coworkers. But he’s left out one in particular. With what he knows of Cas’s influence on Eileen, Sam may not know he’s been fighting a losing battle.</p><p>“I bet upper management appreciates all the hard work you’ve put in.” Dean smiles as Sam fumbles his fork.</p><p>“I, uh haven’t got much feedback from them.” Sam suddenly gets busy straightening the salt and pepper shakers. Dean’s not buying it.</p><p>“Sammy...”</p><p>“I’m over her Dean, honestly. I haven’t even seen her at all.” He looks up and sadness flashes for just a moment before vanishing into that trademark sunny smile. “Besides, LA is just so... full of life. I’ve barely had time to even think about Eileen.”</p><p>Dean lets the subject drop; Sam was clearly not over her. But if he wanted to say he was then Dean wasn’t going to push him. Maybe Cas’s suggestions played a bigger part over Eileen than he originally thought.</p><p>Sam perks up, “So what’s been going on here? I feel like I haven't talked to you in months.”</p><p>Now its Dean’s turn to look away. What could he tell him? He’s been having inappropriate amounts of freaky sex with the woman trying to steal their house; he’s barely said two words to their youngest brother in weeks, unless you count shouting curses back and forth; or he recently found out Castiel was falling in love with him, and Dean wanted to simultaneously bloody his perfect face and throw up from nerves. Oh, and don’t forget the guy we hired to get out of the housing crisis may or may not be a pedophile and murderer!</p><p>“It’s been pretty quiet. Just been working a lot.” Dean finally confesses.</p><p>“Adam said you’ve been gone a lot.”</p><p>Dean’s eggs sit like a stone in his belly, he was too late! Adam had already ratted him out to Sam.</p><p>“Yeah, ah, about that.”</p><p>“All that overtime at the garage, you must be banking money left and right.”</p><p>“Come again?”</p><p>“You’ve been working a lot so the OT must be really profitable.”</p><p>He just stares at Sam; so, Adam didn’t say anything? Maybe he didn’t really know it was Becky, maybe he was just being a dick.</p><p>Dean clears his throat, “Right, profitable! Sure, sure. I’ve been raking it in.”</p><p>“Good, you deserve a little extra for all your hard work.”</p><p>Dean didn’t feel like he deserved shit; Sam’s been home barely an hour and he’s already lying to him. He was going to have to come clean if he wanted to make it through the weekend.</p><p>“Sam, I need to talk to you about something.” He begins to explain but his pocket starts buzzing. He looks at the display and its Becky. He totally forgot about all her calls and texts; he hadn’t even looked a single one.</p><p>“I, uh gotta take this. Be right back.” Dean jumps out of the booth and runs for the bathroom. He’s pretty sure he left a cloud of dust in his wake.</p><p>He had a plan, it was crazy, but it just might work. Leaning up against the door he braces for impact and connects the call.</p><p>He answers the phone groaning, “Becky?”</p><p>“Where the hell have you been!?” She shrieks.</p><p>“Becks, I’m so sorry. That burger, ugh, I think it had gone bad. I was in the bathroom all night.” He puts a whine behind his voice and crosses his fingers for luck.</p><p>“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Her tone has abated a little, but she still sounds pissed. He needed to milk it.</p><p>“Becky, I’m so sorry. It was so gross; I just feel so miserable. I didn’t mean to ignore you.”</p><p>She sighs in his ear, “I told you that greasy food wasn’t good for you.”</p><p>Shut up it was delicious! “I know, I know. You were right. I barely slept; I’m only just now waking up.”</p><p>“You poor thing; do you want me to bring you some soup later?”</p><p>No, he most certainly did not! “That sounds great, but I'm not sure my system is up for food yet. Stomach still feels raw.”</p><p>“Okay, well if you change your mind.” She sounds a little dejected.</p><p>“You’ll be the first person I call. You’ve got a Florence Nightingale costume, right?” Oh God he was going to be sick now.</p><p>“Don’t tease,” she laughs, and Dean knows he’s in the clear, “get some rest, will you call me later?”</p><p>He pinches the bridge of his nose; he was going to try like hell to avoid her the rest of the weekend. He did not need her coming around the house, and he didn’t think he’d be able to sneak away with Sam there.</p><p>“Of course, talk to you soon.”</p><p>He disconnects the call and breathes a sigh of relief. Now if he could just do that for the next four months maybe he could get out of this nightmare relatively unscathed.</p><p>He heads back to the table where Sam is sipping the last of his coffee and texting. The remnants of his meal out of sight.</p><p>“Hey, did you snake the last of my bacon?” Sneaky little fucker.</p><p>Sam looks up innocently, “You were gone a while, I didn’t want it to go to waste.”</p><p>“Dude, not cool. Are we all set?” He looks around for the check.</p><p>“Yeah, I got it Dean.” He’s still texting and trying to unfold his freakishly long legs out of the booth.</p><p>Dean smiles at his brother’s awkwardness, “What’s up?”</p><p>“Sorry, just some other friends from Netherfield here in New York. They want to get together tonight.”</p><p>Dean’s smile falters a little; he kind of wanted to go out a grab some drinks tonight with Sam. A little liquid courage to help with all the bad news he had to deliver. But that was fine, he could do it later.</p><p>Or tomorrow.</p><p>Definitely before the weekend was over.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm having troubles with the next chapter so it may be a few extra days before I post. The Kudos have been super motivational. Thank you all so much for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel kicks hard off the wall and slices through the water. Pushing his body faster, his lungs burn for air. Just one more lap, he closes his eyes on the turn and an angry pair of green ones stare back at him in his mind. </p><p>He falters, sucking in water when he should have exhaled, clawing for the surface. </p><p>Coughing he grips the side of the lap pool, pulling off his cap and goggles. Struggling to the ladder he climbs out and sits on the edge. </p><p>It had been like this for weeks; he would be fine and then a vision of Dean would overtake him, and he’d crumble again.  </p><p>At first, he had been angry, he had expected Dean to be surprised by his confession. But he never imagined it would have been met with such animosity. </p><p>Now, as the blustery winds of March gave way to soft April breezes, Castiel felt less anger and more confusion than anything. </p><p>It didn’t make sense, if he’d been that disgusted then why did Dean look so... haunted when he came to the door? It was like he was wasn’t even there. When Castiel shoved the letter in his hands, his skin was like ice. </p><p>He needed to leave it alone, clearly his presence was offensive to Dean. He made his feelings clear. Castiel wasn’t the type to keep pushing when the answer was a resounding no. </p><p>Toweling off, he pads back to the smaller changing room. His clothes for the day hung with care; his wallet, watch, and cell phone laying on the shelf in a neat little row. </p><p>As he finishes tying his tie, the phone on the counter buzzes to life. Checking the display, he’s surprised to see Claire’s name on the screen. She was almost never up at this hour even on a school day. </p><p>“Good morning,” he answers. </p><p>“Oh! Hi, I thought you’d still be in the pool. I was um... just going to leave a message, for you.” </p><p>“Well, I’m finished with my swim, what can I do for you?”  </p><p>“No, it's nothing, never mind I called. I know you probably have a full day.” </p><p>He did actually; very little progress had been made on that property deal. And Ms. Collins’s team was more inept than any he had worked with before. Files missing, contracts smudged and unreadable. For two whole days their “system went down” and no one had access to any files at all.  </p><p>When he finally complained to Gabriel about it, things got a little better. But she still took longer than what would be appropriate to return his calls and emails. Castiel had half a mind to just Google the property and drive out there himself. </p><p>But Claire wasn’t usually this cryptic on the phone, or in person. If she wanted something, she had been too embarrassed to ask him directly. But through voicemail had been acceptable. </p><p>“Birdie, it’s fine. What do you need?” He hoped that using her childhood nickname would get her to come clean.  </p><p>“I just wanted...” she trails off and lets out a tearful sigh.  </p><p>She was crying!  </p><p>“Claire, talk to me.” </p><p>“It’s stupid, I just wanted to take a ride today and we haven’t done that in forever. I didn’t think, it’s a work day and your ridiculously busy.” </p><p>A ride? Well, she was right, they hadn’t been riding since the fall. It was something their whole family had enjoyed; they had a few horses boarded at a ranch not too far from Pemberley. He had entertained a few clients that needed wooing, and Claire had even brought friends from school there to ride from time to time. </p><p>“It’s a little last-minute Claire, can we pick a time next week?” </p><p>She sniffs, “If that works for you, I just got it in my head that today would be a good day for it.” </p><p>She’s still holding something back; Claire wasn’t overly spontaneous. If she wanted to go riding today, she would have checked the weather report and called ahead to the boarder. They didn’t exactly need an appointment, but it was courteous to give them notice. There must have been some reason. </p><p>“Claire, what day is today?” </p><p>She takes another deep breath; he can hear the tremor in her voice. </p><p>“It’s silly, I don’t expect you to answers to the whims of an 18-year-old girl.” </p><p>“You can tell me, I swear won’t laugh, too much.” </p><p>She does now though and it’s high, bright sound, it brings a smile to his lips. </p><p>“Fine, I’m too transparent,” she pauses and Castiel can feel his chest tighten, “It’s Jane’s birthday today... she just loved it so much I thought it would be nice to take a ride for her. But then, the more I thought about it, I didn’t want to go alone.” </p><p>His heart breaks for her, while he’d been berating the DA and the investigators involved, Claire was just waiting patiently for him to deliver any form of justice. She never asked him for updates, she never pushed for better results when the news he did offer up was poor. She gave him her full confidence, knowing her older brother, her protector would vanquish evil over and over again. </p><p>She was truly an amazing young woman. He did not deserve her, in any lifetime. </p><p>“Claire, what time would you like to go riding?” </p><p>“Are you sure? Because we can go next week.” </p><p>She was sincere, Claire was never the type to say it was fine and then hold some offense against him. </p><p>“I’m sure, would you like me to pick you up?” </p><p>“No, I’ll have Mr. Davies bring me over. Then you don’t have to make a second trip.” </p><p>“Sounds great.”  </p><p>And it did, as much as he knew there was a mountain of briefs and depositions to go through. The time spent with Claire would diminish when she went to college in the fall. </p><p>He needed to make it count. </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; </p><p>The sun shines bright as Claire maneuvers a sweet Palamino named Gwinevere down the trail. From his position on his own horse, Castiel can see the light glisten on both the coat of the fine animal and the messy blonde plait hanging down Claire’s back, almost white against the heavy navy jacket she wore. </p><p>From the car the sun had warmed him considerably, but now outside as sunlight peaked through the trees; the air still held onto the dregs of early spring. Castiel shivers a little in his own dark coat, gloved hand wrapped around the pommel of his horse Puck. A charming Arabian with spotted grey coloring. He takes a deep breath, the smell of the horses, the earlier rain in the air, even the first bits of foliage coming up from the ground, all of it settles him. He hadn't known till that moment how much he needed this. The city had been choking him; he felt it every night when he left the office. Dragging at his tie and loosening the button on his collar did little to abate the suffocating feeling he had. </p><p>“I should let you talk me out of work more often,” he calls to her. Turning half in her saddle she sends him a grin that makes her look like a child again, instead of a young woman poised to head off to college. </p><p>“We’ll need a new code word, so you won't be found out by your superiors.” She replies.  </p><p>When she was little, Claire used codewords for everything. If she had a secret, she didn’t want their mother to know about she used the code word Sassafras. A guest at a party she found rude, Pollywog. It had been her favorite game, she’d try so hard to fit them into every day conversations, for a while one of her teachers thought she might be deranged. It warmed his heart to think she still held on to those memories' years later.  </p><p>“What’s a code for drop everything and run?” He shrugs. </p><p>They continue on in silence for a bit, the trail widens here and he gently kicks Puck into a trot up beside her. Her cheeks are flushed from the cold, and she looks so beautiful in this moment he feels sorry for any man who tries to vie for her affections. They didn’t stand a chance. </p><p>She glances over, “Mr. Darcy I believe you’re staring at me.”   </p><p>“Well Ms. Darcy that is because you are the loveliest creature on this trail.” </p><p>She grins and ducks her head, “Shouldn't you be saving those kind words for someone who’d appreciate them a bit more?” </p><p>“I have no one to dote on but you.” </p><p>She frowns, “What about that man Eileen was talking about? What was his name, David, Dan?” </p><p>Its Castiel’s turn to frown, “When did she tell you about Dean?” </p><p>“Dean, That’s it! Oh, we talk all the time since she went away to California. She told me all about him.” The trail is about to open soon, and the horses know it. They shift a little, itching to run.  </p><p>“Well, if she told you everything then you should know we’re not seeing each other.” </p><p>Her mouth opens a little in shock, “And why is that?  </p><p>He debated telling her everything. Siblings were supposed to be able to share that kind of thing, weren’t they? But their relationship was a bit unconventional. Given the age difference, half the time he felt more like her father than her brother.  </p><p>He sighs, “It just didn’t work out.” </p><p>“Because...?” </p><p>She wasn’t going to drop it; he’d have to tell her something. “Because we don’t have enough in common.” </p><p>She’s quiet for a moment, and he hopes that was enough to appease her curiosity. </p><p>“Eileen said you had loads in common.” She glances sideways at him. </p><p>“She did?” </p><p>Claire nods, “Yes; she told me that you both went to NYU, you’re both guardians for your younger siblings,” pointing to herself. </p><p>Those may be true but still, “Claire relationships take more than two common traits.” </p><p>“I'm sure there’s more...” She pouts a little. </p><p>He lets her stew a bit longer. Enjoying the silence of the trail. There are birds chirping and the sound of babbling water in the distance.  </p><p>“Okay forget common interests, what about chemistry?” She blurts out.  </p><p>“Chemistry.” God she was like a dog with a bone... </p><p>“Yes, Eileen said you two had chemistry. She even used the word palpable.” </p><p>Castiel couldn't deny that, no matter how much he wanted to. When he was talking with Dean, dancing with Dean, even when he was shouting at Dean, it all felt like they were leading up to something.  </p><p>Something Big. Something Important.  </p><p>“I never said we didn’t have chemistry, sometimes that’s just not enough.” </p><p>Claire looks up at him through her impossibly long lashes, “She also said you danced.”  </p><p>“Yes, we danced. It was, fine. Is there a point to this line of questioning?” </p><p>It had been more than fine; it had been wonderful. If Dean wouldn’t have brought up Alastair, he would have asked him to dance again. He may have even worked up the courage to ask for his number.  </p><p>“You never dance, with anyone, ever!” She sounded a little incredulous now.  </p><p>Good lord, he’d never live that dance down. </p><p>“I also danced with Anna that night.” </p><p>Claire scoffs, “And I’m sure she asked you and pouted till you agreed.” </p><p>Anna had done that very thing, but still it should count that he danced with someone other than Dean.  </p><p>Dean, with his wonderful laugh and quick wit. His ridiculous good looks and selfless nature. He may not have had a thing in common with Castiel, and yes, all the reason he gave Dean were shallow and short sighted. He had been too proud to admit he’d been wrong. He had been to hurt by Dean’s rejection to even think of apologizing. But he wanted to, Castiel wanted so badly to make it right. There were times he felt like he waited his whole for Dean Bennet. But somehow, he’d been wrong, and he may have lost him forever.  </p><p>“Claire...” </p><p>“Oh fine, I’ll drop it,” the trail opens now and the field between them and the barn is cleared. She looks over at him and tightens a hand on her reins, “race you back?” </p><p>He barely has time to answer before she kicks her horse and their off at a gallop. Puck, eager to not be left behind follows. The only sound is hoof beats on the hard ground and his breath in his ears. His heart pounds, maybe even in rhythm with the animal he rides. He feels resilient, like he and Puck could go on forever. All they needed was a more ground to cover.  </p><p>Green, brown, and gold race past his vision. The forest surrounding them, the fragile beginning of spring, it flew by in a haze. He couldn’t focus on any of it, he only hoped Puck was paying attention.  </p><p>The fence line comes up quick and he pulls back gently on the reins to slow them down. Arthur, his driver is standing talking to Claire’s driver Mick and a tall man too far away recognize. He’s not one of the boarders, he’s wearing a grey suit and coat against the chilly day. </p><p>Both horses slow to a cantor, then to a trot, finally stopping at the fence line. Now that they’ve stopped moving Castiel’s eyes refocus and the man next to Mick becomes painfully familiar. </p><p>Special Agent Victor Henriksen; he was one of the men working on Jane’s case. They hadn't spoken in months, but he was here now in person. Frowning between the two men, he looks over at Castiel as they dismount. Whatever he was here for wasn’t good news. </p><p>“Poughkeepsie” Claire whispers beside him, her hands run over the smooth coat of her horse. </p><p>He turns to see tears have filled her eyes again, “What did you say?” </p><p>She looks to Victor, and back to Castiel, “I said Poughkeepsie. It's code, for drop everything and run.” </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; </p><p>Castiel and Claire lead their horses over to the gate and hand them off to a boarder to be brushed down and watered. A task he knows Claire enjoys doing herself, she offers up the reins without a word. She’s trembling, and it’s not from the cooler air. </p><p>He takes her hand, and she looks up at him. Those tears ready to fall at a moment’s notice.  </p><p>“It’s going to be alright.” He lies, he has no idea what Special Agent Henriksen is here to tell them. But he’d shield Claire from all of it if he could. He only ever wanted to protect her from the awfulness of this situation. </p><p>They walk over together, both drivers stepping away politely to give them some privacy. Arthur knew the whole situation, in addition to driving he was also personal security. But Mick Davies was new to the agency and may have not been privileged to any information about Alastair. Castiel suspected Arthur would get him up to speed very soon if he hasn’t already. </p><p>“Agent Henriksen.” Castiel doesn’t offer to shake hands. </p><p>“Mr. Darcy, Ms. Darcy. My apologies for disturbing you. Your housekeeper let me know you were here, and she said it could be a while. That was quite a race just now.” He smiles but it doesn’t meet his eyes. </p><p>Castiel nods, “Thank you, I take it you have some news?”  </p><p>“I do, is there some place we can talk, privately?”  </p><p>Claire grips his hand tighter. She wasn’t about to be left out of this conversation. </p><p>“How about we head back to Pemberley. Claire and I were going there after our ride.” They weren’t, he was planning on going home to get some more work done.  </p><p>“I’m not sure that’s wise,” he starts but Claire speaks up. </p><p>“Agent Henriksen, I am 18 years old and as the sole resident of Pemberley, you’ll not utter a word there if it’s not in my presence.” Channeling their mother’s grace and possibly stubbornness, Claire walks over to her vehicle as Mick scrambles out of the car to open her door. </p><p>The two men stand dumbfounded. </p><p>“Well, I guess that settles that, you can follow us.” Castiel offers up a smile that Henriksen does not return. They walk to their respective cars, Arthur (not scrambling) opens his door and shuts it firmly after him. </p><p>Climbing in the driver seat he glances backwards. </p><p>“Sir, if I may speak freely?” </p><p>“I think we’ve known each other long enough where you don’t need my permission to speak Arthur.”  </p><p>Castiel smiles as the man struggles against a lifetime of breeding and military training. He’s never been able to see Castiel as more than a superior even though they’d known each other for years and were roughly the same age. </p><p>He starts the car, and they follow Mick’s own down the driveway. It’s only about 20 minutes back to the estate from here so the Special Agent’s trip won’t take long. </p><p> “Our surveillance team has reported on some new visitors at Alastair’s apartment.” </p><p>That wasn’t really news, dozens of people visited Alastair. He had parties once or twice a week. </p><p>“One of them was Adam Bennet.” </p><p>A river of dread flows through Castiel, this was what he warned Dean about. Adam was young, and already showing signs of bad judgment. Somehow, he had found a way to socialize with Alastair. Nothing good could come from that association.  </p><p>“How many times?” </p><p>“Just two visits so far.” </p><p>He sighs, two was still too many. “Thank you, Arthur, keep me posted if he’s sighted again.” </p><p>“Yes sir.” </p><p>Castiel sits in silence the rest of the drive. He may need to contact Dean sooner than he planned on. It was a conversation he already dreaded having. It wasn’t his place to tell Dean how to raise his brother, but there was a strong chance Dean didn’t know the extent of Adam’s involvement with Alastair. He needed to put aside he feelings for Dean and speak to him brother to brother. It was the only way he’d be able to get through to him. And it was something he’d have to handle delicately. </p><p>There are several cars in the lot when they arrive at the estate. Pemberley just opened its doors for the season and students had been waiting all winter to return. Once the weather turned warmer, he expected to see the lot fuller, people not affiliated with the school also came for the beautiful gardens. </p><p>Ms. Hanscomb meets them at the one of the private doors. She’s wringing her hands and her face is a jumble of nerves. </p><p>“I’m sorry Mr. Darcy, he insisted on knowing where you were.” She aims as scowl at the Special Agent. </p><p>The four of them step into a mud room, Castiel and Claire remove their riding boots and hang their coats on separate hooks. Agent Henriksen doesn’t remove his coat. Castiel slips into a pair of loafers, here for such an occasion. And Claire already had her flats sitting by the back door.  </p><p>“That’s alright, we were finished anyway. Donna could you please make us some tea? Claire and I are a little chilly from our ride. Tea Henriksen? Coffee?” He was going to make this civil for Claire. She needed time to calm down from her outburst earlier. </p><p>“Nothing for me, I have to get back to the city soon.” </p><p>He reads between the lines. So, no more delays. </p><p>“Follow me please.” Castiel leads them down a short hall to a family sitting room. This part of the house was off limits so they shouldn’t be disturbed. </p><p>“Please sit down,” Claire gestures to the grouping of chairs arranged on the ornate Persian rug, “I know you’re in a hurry Agent Henriksen, I’m sorry if my brother is stalling on my behalf. It’s Jane’s birthday today, so I’m a little sensitive given the circumstances.” </p><p>His grim face shifts subtly, “I hadn’t realized, my condolences. I won’t take up too much of your time.” </p><p>Donna comes in then with a tray and sets it down on the table. She smiles at Claire fondly, “are you sure you don’t want to join me in the kitchen? I’m making a pie for dessert tonight.” </p><p>“Thank you, but no, I need to be here. I need to hear this.” She picks up tea pot and pours a cup, Castiel can see her resolve tighten with every word. She would be alright. </p><p>“Go ahead, Henriksen.” He nods to the other man. Castiel takes a deep breath, bracing himself for the news. </p><p>“The state is dropping their case against Alastair Whickham.” </p><p>Claire’s cup rattles on its saucer, “How, why?” </p><p>Castiel clenches a fist at his side, “On what grounds?” </p><p>“His lawyer won’t take a plea deal. They want it to go to trial.” </p><p>“So, let it go to trial. I’ll testify if that’s the issue.” Castiel forces himself to unclench his fists, he puts a hand on Claire’s shoulder. </p><p>Henriksen shakes his head, “The District Attorney believes if it goes before a jury they could lose. There’s not enough physical evidence.” </p><p>“What about the security footage?” Castiel demands. </p><p>“It only shows Jane going in the building, alone. And there’s no footage of him leaving that night. Even after you left.” </p><p>“And the fact that her number was programmed in his phone?” </p><p>“Circumstantial, there were no phone records of him contacting her.” </p><p>“He knew she was there, he told me she was fine. He said her name.” Castiel grits his teeth in rage. </p><p>“While your testimony proved helpful, none of the other guests we questioned admitted to seeing her. It’s your word against five other men.” </p><p>Castiel shouts, “Because he paid them all off!”  </p><p>Agent Henriksen waits a beat to continue. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t what you want to hear.”  </p><p>“So, they’re just letting him go?” Castiel fights not to shout again at the man. His control is slipping like sand through his fingers. </p><p>“Yes, but he’s being monitored by a narcotics division and SVU. He’s on their list Mr. Darcy. He won’t get away with it again.” </p><p>Claire, who hasn’t said a word this entire exchange sets her cup down and rises, “You won’t be able to catch him. Not now that he’s beat you.” She turns to leave, and Agent Henriksen lays a hand on hers. His eyes are fierce with regret. </p><p>“Ms. Darcy I’m sorry. I know we let you down.” </p><p>“No, you let Jane down. I need to go call her mother. She’ll be devastated by this news. Is that alright Special Agent?” </p><p>He nods silently and she leaves without looking back. </p><p>Castiel looks down and the china cup in his hands. The urge to hurl it against the wall overwhelms him. There was nothing he could do now, for Claire, for Jane. He was powerless. No amount of money could be thrown at the problem. He couldn’t force the DA to reopen the case, any more than he could force Alastair to turn himself in. It was hopeless. He sets the cup down slowly; he didn’t trust himself not to act on his impulses.  </p><p>“You don’t have any whiskey around here, do you?” Agent Henriksen asks. </p><p>Castiel looks over, Hendriksen is just as livid as he is. He probably even had the same urge to smash every piece of crockery on the table. </p><p>“As a matter of fact, we have a single malt scotch in my father’s study. Would you like to join me for a drink?” </p><p>He nods and the two stand up from the sitting area. Castiel leads him down another hall and into a room with books lining the walls, two red leather chairs sit facing a stone fireplace. It’s currently unlit, but Castiel flicks a switch to turn the gas on. The fire roars to life, casting a glow around the room. </p><p>“Please have a seat,” he gestures to one of the chairs. </p><p>“Just a single for me, I still need to drive back to the city.” </p><p>Castiel pours them both a finger of whiskey and hands one over. </p><p>“To Jane,” Henriksen tips his glass towards Castiel’s, “may she rest in peace.” he sips his drink and sucks a breath in through his teeth, “Goddamn Darcy. That didn’t come from the liquor store.” </p><p>Castiel chuckles, “No, my great grandfather smuggled this through Ellis Island about 100 years ago. It’s rumored to be even older than that. And please, call me Castiel. I think were well past formality here.” </p><p>He sips his own drink now, it was potent. The liquid warms him from the inside out, better than the fire before him. The two men sit in silence for a bit, both contemplating the news. Castiel wasn't sure what more could be done. </p><p>“You know, if someone were to keep tabs on Alastair, they may find that his actions would warrant a call to authorities.” Henriksen swirls his drink, staring at the fire. </p><p>“I don’t think I know what you mean Agent.” Castiel’s eyes go wide. He didn’t know about the surveillance, did he? </p><p>“Victor, please. I’m no longer speaking as an Agent. I’m speaking as a father of two young children.” He does look over at Castiel now, his eyes bright with something bordering on vengeance. </p><p>“Victor...” Castiel starts to make excuses for his team. </p><p>“You don’t have to say anything. This conversation isn't happening. I’m just talking with... a friend, enjoying a drink.” </p><p>Castiel lets out the breath he’d been holding. What he had his team doing wasn’t illegal, but it wasn’t strictly appropriate. If they had been found out the scandal would be enormous. </p><p>“Alright, so hypothetically, if Alastair were being watched how would that be helpful?” </p><p>“Hypothetically, given the right circumstances, it could be enough to change the DA’s mind. Bring other charges against him.” </p><p>Victor takes another sip of his drink; they stare at the fire for a while. Wheels in Castiel’s head already in motion. He knows what needs to be done.  </p><p>“Would you excuse me for a moment Victor? I just remembered a work call I need to make.” </p><p>“Take your time, I’ll finish this and see myself out,” he sips again and looks down at the amber liquid in the glass, “100 years old, I’ll be damned.” </p><p>Castiel steps out into the hall and walks down towards the kitchen, he can hear Claire and Donna making that pie she mentioned, and Claire’s voice doesn’t sound quite so sad as it did moments ago. </p><p>Going back to the original sitting room, he’s confident he’s alone and won't be disturbed. </p><p>He pulls out his phone and makes a call. </p><p>“Yes sir?” Arthur answers almost immediately. </p><p> “Double surveillance. I want to catch that bastard in the act.” </p><p>“Consider it done, sir.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The version of Pemberly in my mind...</p><p> </p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhJdQKOcvp8</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean drives home with the setting sun in his eyes, the weather is turning warm enough where he can roll the windows down a bit. The change in seasons marked the coming of a fresh start; Adam was about to graduate (barely), Dean had cut their interest payments with the bank in half. The only thing still on his to-do list was talk to Sam about what had happened between him and Cas, along with the information about Alastair. Unfortunately, he and Sam had trouble connecting; but Dean also hadn't been trying too hard. But he was handling it; when Dean stopped sending Alastair payments, he only called a few times looking for them. Several ignored voicemails and a well worded text message made Dean’s position clear. They wouldn’t be working together any longer.</p><p>To top it all off, he’d avoided Becky for almost two weeks without her causing grievous bodily harm to his genitals. That one he couldn’t quite take credit for; she had been buried in work lately and Dean was more than happy to let her drown in whatever tasks Gabe had forced on her. And now, coincidentally, as Becky's project was ramping up his vacation was about to start. A whole week off work, he pounds his fist happily on the steering wheel. He had waited all year for this. Pulling in the driveway he’s happy to see his Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen’s truck already parked there. They hadn't had a family dinner in ages, and Dean missed them way more than he realized. He climbs out of the car and bursts into the house.</p><p>Ellen’s banging pots and pans around in the kitchen and he can hear Bobby grumbling at the tv in the living room. Dean grins from ear to ear, it was the perfect start to the week.</p><p>“Just make yourselves at home!” He hollers and the banging stops at once. There’s a squeal from the kitchen as Ellen comes running out, dishtowel in her hands.</p><p>“What took you so long?” She crows and wraps him up in a warm hug. He buries his face in her hair, even though Dean was almost a teenager when his mother died, he and Ellen had always been close. She taught him how to cook, she helped him with his scholarships for NYU, she stayed for a month straight when his father died. Sometimes it felt like she was the only mother he ever had.</p><p>“I missed you.” He whispers, and his eyes prickle.</p><p>She squeezes him harder, “Missed you more honey.”</p><p>He takes another minute in her embrace and then sniffs the air, he pulls back in shock, “You didn’t!”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t get to see you on your birthday!” She frowns, but it's in jest.</p><p>She made his favorite dinner; baked ham, mashed potatoes, and he’d bet his whole paycheck there was pie. All because on his birthday he’d been too busy playing Fire Chief Dean with the young Widow Becky and couldn’t make time for his family. He wanted to dig a hole right here in the hallway and crawl into it. He didn’t deserve any of this.</p><p>“You’re too good to me.”</p><p>She smacks him lightly with the towel, “And don’t you forget it.”</p><p>Ellen heads back into the kitchen as Dean goes into the living room to greet his Uncle. There’s no warm welcome here, no hugs, or soft words. Dean plops down on the couch next to Bobby and the old man grunts.</p><p>“Car sounds like its running better.” Which in Bobby’s language was as good a compliment as any.</p><p>Dean nods, “Yep, I finally got around to replacing that timing belt.”</p><p>Bobby makes another noncommittal sound, and it passes for a sign of approval.</p><p>They sit in silence watching the History Channel for a few minutes, Ellen’s humming around the kitchen and the smells of ham waft into the living room. Dean settles deeper into the sofa; he could get very used to this. But something was missing, he looks around the living room.</p><p>“Wait, did Adam let you guys in? Where is he?”</p><p>Bobby scoffs, “He was here, for about five minutes. Then he got a text and rushed out of here like a cat with its tail on fire.”</p><p>Dean frowns, they were supposed to have family dinner and Adam couldn’t be bothered to stay? Fucking typical, Dean shoves up from the couch to call him, but Bobby puts a hand on his arm.</p><p>“Dean don’t worry about it. He had a look in his eyes and was only going to cause trouble if he stayed.”</p><p>He sits back down, that may have been true, but Adam still should have tried to be here. He was going to talk with him about family commitments the next time he saw him.</p><p>Ellen calls from the kitchen, “Wash up Dean, it's about time for dinner.”</p><p>He grins at how incredibly normal it all sounds, “Yes ma’am,” he calls and head upstairs to wash his hands.</p><p>When he finishes drying off, he pulls out his phone to see if Adam even tried to get a hold of him. Nothing, what a punk... Dean, still a little ticked off, fires off a message to his younger brother.</p><p>
  <strong>You better have damn good reason for missing this dinner.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>Shoving his phone in his pocket he heads back downstairs. Ellen has the kitchen table set, she and Bobby are already seated. They look up as he enters the room and his heart clenches in his chest.</p><p>It all could have been so different, he thinks, if he had asked them for help all those years ago. When his dad died Ellen and Bobby asked him if he wanted Adam to move in with them. At the time it felt like giving up, and he was trying so hard to hold things together for his brothers. Now looking back, he should have said yes. Adam would have had a more stable upbringing, and Dean could have finished school. He’d let them all down, by just being stubborn and afraid.</p><p>“Honey, are you going to sit down?”</p><p>Dean blinks away a film of tears in his eyes, tonight wasn’t a time for regret, it was a time for family.</p><p>“I’m just marveled,” he grins at them both, “that you managed to make this beautiful meal without any help from this old crank here.” Pointing a finger at his uncle.</p><p>He sits down with a thump and is promptly cuffed on the head by his aunt.</p><p>“Hush, you know I don’t want him in the kitchen! Remember the turkey incident?” She scowls but her eyes are shinning.</p><p>He throws back his head in laughter at the memory of Bobby chasing a live turkey around their property in Brighton. He got it in his head he was going to cook a real thanksgiving dinner. Luckily Aunt Ellen had a chicken prepared as back up.</p><p>“Whatever happened to that old turkey anyhow?” Dean wipes a tear from his eyes.</p><p>“Oh, he still lives in the woods they say, living off scraps and such,” Ellen chuckles as she starts spooning mashed potatoes on his plate, “you should see it in the town square, just mad as all get out to still be hanging around.”</p><p>Bobby shakes his head at them both, “How was I supposed to know we’d get the only turkey that could fly?”</p><p>Dean looks over at Ellen and she’s practically shaking in her chair. He snorts and the two of them burst into fits of laughter. It takes them a minute to calm down, but when they do Bobby calls them both Idjits and they start laughing all over again. Dean’s stomach hurts and his face is flushed. He hasn’t felt this happy in a long time.</p><p>“I really missed you guys.” He sighs, now that they’ve finally stopped laughing, “It’s too bad you’re heading back so soon.”</p><p>Bobby and Ellen share a look over the table that Dean envies right down to his bones. To be that in tune with someone; they had a whole conversation in the span of seconds, with only their eyebrows!</p><p>“What, what did I say?” Dean looks from his aunt to his uncle in confusion.</p><p>Ellen wipes her mouth on a napkin, “it’s just funny you should say that because your uncle and I wanted to invite you out to Brighton for the week. Would you like to come?”</p><p>God, he hadn't been to see them in months, things just got so crazy with the house, and Sam’s new job. Not to mention all his problems revolving around a certain blue-eyed lawyer.</p><p>Dean still can't get that letter out of his head; he’s even taken to carrying it in his wallet. He reads it on his lunch break, or when he’s riding the subway into the city to see Becky. He was going to need to contact Cas sooner or later. It was clear to Dean that he owed Cas an apology and not the other way around.</p><p>“Honey, did you hear what I said?” Ellen runs her hand along his shoulder.</p><p>“Yeah sorry, I’d love to come. But what about Adam?”</p><p>Ellen and Bobby exchange another look, very different than the one before.</p><p>“Do you think he’d really want to come Dean?”</p><p>“I guess not. He’s never shown interest in going before.” Dean feels a twinge of guilt. Would it really be fair to leave Adam alone for a whole week? But on the other hand, it’s not like they saw much of each other anyway. Dean shovels a bite of potatoes in his mouth and mulls the thought over. He didn’t have any plans for this week besides cleaning out the attic, working on the Impala, and probably fighting with Adam. This could be a great idea. He could avoid Becky, Adam, and the still present guilt over Cas’s letter. It would be a real vacation.</p><p>“I’m in,” he looks at the two of them, “when can we leave?”</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Dean always loved the city, he loved the noise, the crowds, Hell he even loved the smells sometimes. But being here on the sandy shore, watching the waves crash on the rocks below, the salty spray misting on his face, the sunshine warm on his back; he felt like he found heaven on earth.</p><p>They had a bit of early summer this first week of May, the clear skies and fair temperatures were supposed to stick around the whole week. Dean and Ellen were thrilled, they dragged Bobby to the boardwalk every day. Not even to swim, just to stroll with their toes in the cold water, pants rolled up to their knees. But mostly just to enjoy the weather, check out all the little shops, or just people watch. It was so... relaxing. Dean couldn’t remember the last time he felt so carefree.</p><p>By Wednesday they had exhausted most of what there was to do around the shore and Ellen suggests they take a drive inland. Their car winds along the twisting road, as coastal views give way to wooded trails. They stop at a small restaurant for lunch and Ellen pulls up one attraction after another on her phone, rejecting them just as quickly.</p><p>“There’s a revolutionary war battlefield not too far from here.” She chews on her bottom lip as the men eat their cold sandwiches, waiting for her to decide.</p><p>“Or a classic car museum...” she says. Bobby perks up at this but Ellen’s already scrolling to the next thing.</p><p>“Oh, we’re near Pemberley!” She looks up, her eyes gleaming. “I’ve always wanted to go there.”</p><p>“What’s that?” Dean pipes up from his chicken sandwich.</p><p>“You would love it Dean, it’s like an artist’s guild. But not just painters; there’s musicians and writers too. I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it at NYU, they’re affiliated with several schools.”</p><p>It rings a dim bell in Dean’s head, but he didn’t think it had anything to do with his time at college.</p><p>“But isn’t it private then, if it’s a school thing?”</p><p>She shakes her head, “No, well actually it was a private home owned by some wealthy family, God what was their name?” She scrolls through her phone a minute, “Anyway, now it’s sort of a museum, garden, workspace for people to visit.”</p><p>“Sounds interesting, what do you think Bobby?” Dean turns to where his uncle is sipping his sweet tea in silence.</p><p>“If your aunt wants to go, I don’t mind.”</p><p>Ellen smiles and looks back down at her phone for more information.</p><p>Dean nods in agreement, “Sure Ellen, if you want to check it out, sounds kind of - “</p><p>“That’s it, Darcy!” She shouts triumphantly.</p><p>Dean must have wax in his ears, “I’m sorry what did you say?”</p><p>“Darcy, that’s the name of the family who owns Pemberley.” She beams, proud of having found the answer so quickly.</p><p>“Can I see that?” He reaches for her phone blindly; she raises a brow in confusion but eventually hands it over.</p><p>Scrolling through the website he skips over the pictures of the building and grounds, searching for the part that references the owners. And there it is, staring him in the face, <em>'Pemberley is a private home belonging to the Darcy family. It was opened to the public at the bequeath of Charles and Audrey Darcy by their children Castiel and Claire Darcy.’</em></p><p>There’s even a damn picture of the family, it’s probably 10 years old judging by how young Cas looks.<br/>
Dean wants to run a finger across the screen, but it would only scroll away from Castiel’s handsome face. He looks like his father now, Mr. Darcy the elder, a most serious man with a dark beard. His mother, who they’d have called a handsome woman, has her arms wrapped around a blonde girl. They all have the same vibrant blue eyes.</p><p>“Did you and the phone need some privacy Dean?”</p><p>He looks up guiltily at Bobby and Ellen, one frowning, one smiling. He blushes right down to his shoes.</p><p>“Sorry, I uh... know the family who owns it.”</p><p>“Really? I didn’t know you were running with such a sophisticated crowd.” Ellen teases.</p><p>Dean hands her back the phone, “I’m not, it’s just a... friend.” The lie burns all the way out of his mouth. Castiel was so much more than that. But he was not going to discuss his love life with his aunt and uncle.</p><p>“So, we’re going?” Ellen looks to the two of them for confirmation.</p><p>Dean squirms and his half-eaten chicken sandwich appears to have sprouted wings in his stomach.</p><p>“I mean, if you really want to...”</p><p>“What’s the matter Dean? You did say he was a friend, right?” Ellen presses.</p><p>“It’s not that, it’s just... he’s so...” he picks at the paper napkin next to his empty plate.</p><p>“Spit it out son.” Bobby growls.</p><p>Dean twists the paper into a knot, “He’s so rich...”</p><p>Ellen blurts out a laugh, “Why Dean, you’re a bit of a snob.”</p><p>He rips his napkin in two, “No I’m not...”</p><p>“Dean, don’t worry, it’s a public place in the middle of the weekday. What are the chances he’ll even be there?” Ellen rubs a hand down his arm.</p><p>He looks down at the shredded paper in his lap, he made a total mess of it. And it did nothing to calm his nerves.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>If anyone were to describe Pemberley as simply a nice house, they probably also describe The Hope Diamond as a shiny rock. As Bobby pilots them down a road covered with a canopy of trees, Ellen reads aloud from the estate’s website.</p><p>“It says here the mansion is nestled amid 200 acres of formal gardens, landscaped grounds, woodlands, ponds and lakes. Pemberley is furnished with a variety of antiques and decorative arts from the more than fifty years of the family's residence.”</p><p>She looks at Dean in the back seat and he smiles shakily back at her. He was not looking forward to this one bit. But he had to admit what he’s seen through the gaps in trees has been impressive. Massive topiaries, lush foliage, acres of flowers. It was a gardener's dream.</p><p>“Today, Pemberly welcomes visitors of all ages for guided tours of the home as well as in-depth tours of the formal gardens. Several schools sponsor graduate studies from a variety of fields relating to horticulture, art, music, history, design and architecture.”</p><p>Dean would have loved something like this when he’d been at NYU. He’d been toying with the idea of grad school right around the time his dad started to get sick. He even thought about going into teaching if his writing career didn’t pan out.</p><p>The car comes around a bend and the mansion, because there is no other word for it, sits regally before them. Three stories of red brick, with fine white columns along the front of the house. Dean counts dozens of windows, indicating probably as many rooms, just on the front alone. It had to be 100 years old at least.</p><p>Cas really grew up here... No wonder Dean was so far below his social standing. He frowns at the thought. That wasn’t fair to Castiel. Even if it was what he said, it had been out of anger, Dean knew he didn’t really feel that way.</p><p>There’s a ton of cars in the lot alongside the house. Clearly a new addition, as he didn’t think parking lots and guard shacks were in fashion during the turn of the century. They exit the car and follow a small group of people to the entrance. A guide is waiting there to stamp hands and answer questions. Tours, apparently, were free till Memorial Day. Dean assumes most of the money to run this place comes from the colleges affiliated with it.</p><p>The interior of the house is just as majestic as the outside. Still styled after the trends in design of the early 1900’s. The rich wood floors flow from room to room, every doorway has ornate moldings, there are several chandeliers, and one room even has medallions on the ceiling.</p><p>One of the first rooms they come to is a study converted to a library, inside hundreds of books and artwork grace the shelves. There are two young men poised over a large leather-bound book, and they’re careful turning pages with gloved hands, both are wearing magnified glasses.</p><p>A sitting room, that they only peek in, holds a group of people in a heated discussion over 19th Century female authors. Dean wants to stay and hear more, but the group keeps moving down a long hall.</p><p>He glances at the portraits along the way to the next room, most are abstract or floral in nature, but some are of the house in its construction and early days. There are family photos mixed in everywhere, spanning 50 years of film technology and popular fashion.</p><p>At the end of the hall, he spies some more recent ones. Cas, looking proud with his parents, standing fresh faced at college graduation. Something in Dean burns with longing, but he’s not sure if it's from seeing Cas’s smiling face or the reason for the photo itself.</p><p>There’s a room converted into a studio of students painting and a grand ballroom with a lone piano. A young blonde girl is playing, and her music is so beautiful Dean can’t help but stand a listen. Leaving the group behind, he lingers in the doorway as she plays.</p><p>Her head bobs in time with the music and while he can’t see her face the tune is happy enough where she must certainly be smiling. A door opens on the far side of the room and she abruptly stops. Dean is jerked out of a trance as a man comes up beside her and she leaps into his arms. They laugh and as they turn, he sees Cas, smiling like she hung to moon. Dean freezes in his tracks. It must be Castiel’s little sister, the one who’s friend was killed. He shouldn’t have stuck around, he was going to be caught snooping on her practice.</p><p>Backing away quietly he raps an elbow on the door jamb and lets out a quiet yelp. Both Castiel and his sister turn in time to see Dean bolt for the front entrance. Racing down the long hall, he pushes past another tour group and runs out the first door he sees. He barely makes it out to the gravel drive when Cas catches up to him. How did he get here so fast?</p><p>“Dean, what are you doing here?”</p><p>Dean panics and gasps for air with his hands on his knees, “I could ask you the same question!”</p><p>“Well, I own the building and lived here for a period of time.” Cas replies harshly.</p><p>He hopes his blush is mistaken for the flush face of exertion, “I should’ve asked a different question.”</p><p>Taking a minute to compose himself, he sees Castiel is still in what Dean thinks of as his lawyer uniform. Today it’s a pinstripe black and grey suit, with a solid black shirt. His grey tie is crooked again and Dean’s fingers itch to straighten it. Rising he wipes the sweat from his palms on his jeans.</p><p>“Hi Cas...” God he looks so beautiful, were his eyes always so sad? Dean couldn’t remember the last time he saw them happy.</p><p>Castiel offers him a small smile, “Hello Dean.”</p><p>“This place is amazing... Cas, I had no idea something like this existed. Or that someone like you would...” he trails off, immediately ashamed. He meant to imply Cas was culture-less, indifferent towards the arts. He made so many judgments against him with no merit. God, maybe he was a snob.</p><p>“Thank you, I can’t take all the credit. It was something my mother always wanted.” He smiles sadly and Dean wishes he could reach out to comfort him.</p><p>“Well, she must have been brilliant. I wish I knew about this place years ago.”</p><p>His eyes drift off for a moment, remembering, “She was,” he brings himself back to the present, “are you here with your brothers?”</p><p>“No, my aunt and uncle. They live in Brighton. I’m visiting for the week so we’re having a little holiday.”</p><p>“How nice, would you like to go back inside? You probably didn’t finish your tour.” Cas gestures behind him to the main entrance.</p><p>Dean shakes his head, “No I just... I need some air; I was just going to take a walk.” And he was obviously not running away from Cas or the burning need to apologize to him.</p><p>Castiel searches his face, “Would you like some company?”</p><p>Dean’s heart stutters in his chest, he’d love to take a walk with Cas right now, but he wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. About the letter, Alastair, and what happened between them. It still felt too fresh, the wound still healing itself. So, he buries the desire for company and forgiveness under a mask of humor. God he was such a coward.</p><p>“I don’t think your shoes would appreciate that too much.”</p><p>Castiel looks down at his shoes and the no doubt expensive, black, Italian leather already coated with gravel dust from the parking lot.</p><p>He frowns back up at Dean. “No, I suppose not... well enjoy your walk Dean.”</p><p>“Bye Cas.” Dean turns away, his face burning in shame. He was unbelievably rude, there was no excuse for it.</p><p>He stomps down the path till he comes to a stone gazebo by a small lake. It’s cooler here in the shade and he wraps his arms around himself. Sitting down on the curved bench he’s stares out at the water. The day had started out so well, now Dean felt like he was spiraling out of control. Conflicting thoughts duke it out in his mind.</p><p>
  <em>Go back and talk to Cas. Get everything out on the table. Both parties made mistake, both said things that can still be forgiven. Maybe it's not too late to salvage that fragile thing that was just starting out between you two. Find some common ground, something to build a foundation on. Did you see the way he looked at you? He wants to talk!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, it's not worth it. You’ll never make it work with a guy like him. You’re too different. What do you think is going to happen here? Cas will come watch bad tv at your shitty house in Jersey? Or better yet, he’ll whisk you away to this fancy house like a goddamn Disney princess?</em>
</p><p>The negative thoughts far outweigh the good as Dean struggles with what to do next. He should put Cas out of his mind, there’s nothing he has to offer him. It’s been a bad idea from the beginning. He hugs himself tighter, the thought of forgetting about Cas feels like too much to deal with now.</p><p>“Dean?” Ellen’s voice comes up behind him.</p><p>He wipes his face, trying to erase the pain that must be plastered all over it. His fingers come away wet, but he shoves that down too.</p><p>Standing up from the bench and turns to her, “Hey, I was just taking a walk.”</p><p>“All the way out here?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he huffs out a laugh, “I guess I walked farther than I thought.”</p><p>“Honey something’s been bothering you; do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p>“You don’t seem fine...” She moves a little closer, but he holds up a hand to stop her. If she touched him, he just knew he’d break down. He'd end up telling her everything and he couldn’t let her in like that, it wasn’t her fight.</p><p>“I said I’m fine, you should go back to your tour. Don’t let me spoil your day.”</p><p>“I saw enough of the inside; would you like to walk the grounds with me?”</p><p>He sighs, she wasn’t going to let him off the hook it seemed, “Yes, I’ll go with you.”</p><p>They walk silently up the path, it’s not so cold once they’re back out in sunshine. Dean can smell lemon grass, verbena, honeysuckle; the gardens are already in bloom with a riot of spring colors.</p><p>“I guess I was wrong before,” Ellen comments.</p><p>Dean’s head pops up, “Wrong about what?”</p><p>“Your friend made an appearance today after all,” she glances over at him, “I saw you talking outside when I noticed you were missing from the group.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah that was Cas. He... um... he was just saying hello.” Dean replies glumly.</p><p>He may as well have been saying goodbye too, after the way Dean talked to him.</p><p>“Yes, he said as much when I stopped him.”</p><p>Dean stops dead in his tracks, “You talked to him? What did he say, what did you say?!”</p><p>“Just a friend huh?” She chuckles and continues down the path, they pass by a pond filled with lily pads. A fountain of water shoots up from the center, spraying fine mist in the air.</p><p>Dean fights the urge to grit his teeth; his aunt was a sneak! She knew exactly why he was out here or at least who he was running away from.</p><p>She goes on despite his lack of answer, “I asked if he saw where you went, and he asked me why I wanted to know. He was a bit grouchy with me, he was very protective of your privacy and said you might have wanted to be alone.”</p><p>Dean can only stare, did Cas really say all of that?</p><p>“Once I explained who I was he let me know you went down the path. We chatted for a few moments; I can see why you like him; he’s quite the looker.”</p><p>Dean can feel his cheeks grow hot under her knowing gaze, embarrassed to be found out so quickly.</p><p>“Well, he doesn’t like me, so it doesn’t really matter...”</p><p>Her brows fly into her hairline and almost disappear completely, “Doesn’t like you? Honey, the man practically bit my head off, turned three shades of red when I told him I was your aunt, then apologized profusely and asked us to dinner. You don’t do all that for someone you don’t like.”</p><p>A storm of joy and embarrassment swirls inside him, Cas really was trying to make amends. Dean needed to make more of an effort to get that apology made. It may not solve all their problems, but it might just start mending them. And that was better than nothing, even if Cas didn’t want to be with him, maybe they could still be friends.</p><p>“So, are we going?” She looks at him expectantly.</p><p>“Sorry, going where?” He looks around the garden.</p><p>She grips his arm, “Dean, he invited us to come back tomorrow for dinner with him and his sister, Claire. Didn’t you hear a word I said?”</p><p>He must have missed that bit. Dinner... with Cas... here at this freaking mansion! That chicken from lunch has reanimated to take is revenge on Dean’s stomach.</p><p>He puts a hand on the arm latched onto him, “I don’t know if I can do that Ellen.”</p><p>“It’ll be alright Dean, it’s just one dinner.”</p><p>It may be one dinner, but at this rate, he didn’t even know if he’d make it to tomorrow.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not set on a chapter count yet, but if you're playing our home game you know things are ramping up over the next few chapters! We may hit 18, but I wont update the chapter count till I have those drafted. Thank you all for continuing to read, leave comments, and kudos. Those notifications keep me motivated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I still don’t understand why I have to wear a damn suit?” Bobby growls as Ellen fixes his tie one last time. They’re walking up the drive to Pemberley, the sun just starting to dip below the tree line.</p><p>Dean’s own suit feels tight, he keeps tugging at the cuffs, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. Should he loosen his tie, maybe just take it off all together? It was a friendly dinner; it was 100% not a date.</p><p>“You both look handsome, now hush and don’t embarrass me. I’m sweating like a sinner in church.” Ellen fusses with her hair, smoothing the front of her dress down.</p><p>“You look beautiful,” Bobby grumbles and Ellen’s worried face softens.</p><p>“Thank you, old man,” and she plants a kiss on her husband’s rough cheek.</p><p>The door’s opened by a woman Dean assume is a housekeeper, but she’s dressed casually in dark slacks and a wool sweater. Oh god were they overdressed? He’s never seen Cas in anything but a suit! He tries to step back but Ellen pushes him forward with a firm hand.</p><p>“Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, Mr. Bennet; won’t you please come in?”</p><p>They enter the same foyer from yesterday, now that Dean isn’t fleeing the scene is just as grand as the rest of the house.</p><p>A high ceiling with more of those decorative medallions, another crystal chandelier hangs down in the middle of the room over a pedestal with a large abstract sculpture. Dean shoves his hands in his pockets, too worried he’s going to topple something over and break it.</p><p>The housekeeper leads them down a hall he didn’t see yesterday; there’s far fewer pieces of art or photos, more like what you would see in a home, even a home as fancy as this.</p><p>She ushers them into a sitting room where Cas and Claire sit on a pair of grey loveseats. And thank goodness he’s wearing a suit too or Dean might have formed a mutiny against his aunt. It’s a charcoal color, but the bright blue shirt underneath makes his eyes pop.</p><p>The young woman’s smile blooms once they come into the room. She springs up and bounces over to them, her navy silk skirt flouncing in the process.</p><p>“Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, thank you so much for coming. I’ve been looking forward to our dinner all day.”</p><p>She’s a bit older than Dean assumed now that he can see her up close. He recalls Anna saying something about her going to college next year, so she must be around Adam’s age. She’s very beautiful, in a sharp kind of way. Her eyes are the same color as Cas’s, but the shape is different. Her smile is infectious, even through his nerves he can’t help but return it when she steps over to him.</p><p>“Dean, it’s so very nice to meet you. Castiel talks about you all the time.”</p><p>Cas looks almost as surprised by this fact as Dean is; he shoots her a look reserved only for the most annoying younger siblings. Dean suppresses a smirk. Guess someone wasn’t as intimidating as they thought.</p><p>“Oh, I’ve been irritating your brother for months now, I'm sure if he talks about me its only to complain.”</p><p>Cas smiles, “You’ve only managed to vex me about half a dozen times.”</p><p>Dean perks up at this, it’s been a long time since he verbally sparred with Cas and enjoyed it, “Only half a dozen? I’ll have to make up for that tonight.”</p><p>Claire beams between the two of them, if Dean didn’t know better, he would have sworn she rubbed her hands together with glee. What was this girl up to?</p><p>They walk away from the couches to where a simple table has been set for them. Simple in the fact Dean can only count two forks per person and the china isn't gold plated. Being rich must be exhausting, didn’t Cas just ever want to grab takeout and eat it out of the carton?</p><p>“Dean you sit here, next to Castiel. I want to hear all about your vacation,” Claire taps the chair and walks around to the other side of the table. It looks like she’s got them all placed right where she wants them, “I just love Brighton. The shore is so fun and inviting.”</p><p>“It’s been great, the weather has been beautiful, and the company isn't so bad either.” He winks at his aunt as she sits down next to Claire.</p><p>Everyone gets settled and the housekeeper from before brings out soup for the table. It’s tomato but so much better than the canned stuff he buys at the grocery store. They all sip quietly, now that they're all silent Dean can hear faint music playing in the background. Claire hums along with the tune.</p><p>“Claire have you played piano long?” Dean glances over at her.</p><p>She nods and dabs her mouth, “Yes since I was about six. Piano, saxophone, cello, I even tried the harp for about four months.”</p><p>“Didn't care for that did you?” Ellen smiles.</p><p>“I liked it fine enough, it was just too heavy to cart back and forth to school.” She holds the same serious expression as her old brother for about thirty seconds before bursting into a giggle. The image of this tiny girl dragging a harp around was enough to get the whole table laughing.</p><p>“Do you play any instruments Dean?” Claire asks.</p><p>“I’ve dabbled with a guitar for years, but that was mostly an excuse to get dates.” He looks over and Cas has paused with his spoon to his mouth.</p><p>“I’m sure you play wonderfully; we have several guitars if you’d like to show off for us later.” She sends him a shameless grin.</p><p>“Claire...” Cas warns.</p><p>“What? This house was practically founded on music, we have a whole room dedicated to it!” She gestures wildly behind her to some vague corner of the mansion.</p><p>“Thank you for the offer, but it's been a few years. I don’t think you all would like the sound that came out.”</p><p>Their bowls are cleared and replaced with a salad topped with candied nuts and crumbly cheese. Dean, never one for rabbit food, pushes it around on his plate till Ellen catches his eye and glares silently across the table.</p><p>Gulping, he takes a bite that’s more cheese than vegetables but it's enough to get her off his back.</p><p>“Oh, Castiel I finished that book you let me borrow, will you remind me to return it before you go?” Claire turns to her brother.</p><p>“You finished it already, you must have enjoyed it.” He comments.</p><p>“What was the book?” Ellen looks between the two of them.</p><p>“I’m working my way through Castiel’s collection of Kurt Vonnegut. I just finished ‘Cat’s Cradle’. And yes, I enjoyed it very much.”</p><p>“Dean wasn’t your thesis on Vonnegut?” Ellen asks.</p><p>All eyes swoop over to Dean who has just shoveled in a whole mouthful of greens. He muscles them down and takes a sip of water to wash out any spinach in that may be stuck his teeth.</p><p>“Uh, it was going to be. I never got to present it,” he frowns eager to change the subject, “Claire if you like Vonnegut you should check out Jeffery Eugenides.”</p><p>Her eyes light up, “Oh I have, ‘The Virgin Suicides’ is one of my favorites. Castiel introduced me to that one as well.”</p><p>Dean looks over at Cas at this admission. Castiel nods, “It’s a cult classic; far superior to the movie, which is saying something because it’s a wonderful film.”</p><p>“Absolutely, but you’re right. Although, Sofia Coppola did an amazing job with the source material.”</p><p>“Exactly, how she truly captured the despair of those girls.”</p><p>Dean shakes his head, “See, it was all about the casting choices for me.”</p><p>Claire clears her throat, both Dean and Castiel notice they’ve been ignoring everyone else at the table.</p><p>Cas attempts to turn his focus to his salad, but his plate is already empty. Dean covers his smile with his napkin. Luckily for him their housekeeper returns to clear their plates. All the dinner guests are silent for a moment. The previous flurry of conversation dying out with a twinge of embarrassment between its two main players.</p><p>“We had such a lovely time on our tour yesterday, I still can't believe this used to be your home.” Ellen marvels at the room, thankfully changing the subject.</p><p>“Oh, I still stay here a few days a week, more so in the off season, I just can't bear to leave it empty.” Claire sighs.</p><p>“It must have been wonderful growing up here.”</p><p>Cas nods, “We have some very fond memories don’t we Claire?”</p><p>She lets out another sigh, but it's more of a soft cry. Dean looks over to her and tears shimmer in her eyes. “I'm sorry, it just catches up with me sometimes. I miss them every day.” Her lip trembles, eyes darting away from everyone’s gaze.</p><p>Ellen had told them last night on the way home what happened to Mr. And Mrs. Darcy; how they were killed by a drunk driver almost a dozen years ago. Clarie would have just been a little kid, Cas about the same age as Dean when his own father died. It was eerily similar, how both men had been thrust into parenthood for children that weren't their own. Dean laid awake most of the night thinking about it.</p><p>He looks over at Cas now, the other man’s eyes a storm of despair. Castiel reaches across the table and takes Claire’s hand. She glances up at him and Dean sees the same look on her face that Sammy and Adam had given him a thousand times. A look of hope, that together they can face anything. That together they are stronger.</p><p>Dean bows his head, their pain, their love it’s too much to face. His heart aches for them both. But especially for Cas; as older brother, as protector, he shares the same burden of responsibility. But to lose both parents at the same time, in a horrible accident, Dean couldn’t begin to know what that was like.</p><p>“You don’t have to apologize honey, as much as we miss those that are gone, we know they’re watching over us. Your parents would be proud of the fine young woman you’ve become.” Ellen rubs her shoulder affectionately. Her maternal aura wrapping them all up in a big hug.</p><p>“Thank you, I’m going to step out a minute before Donna comes back with our meal.” She pushes away from the table walking quickly to the door.</p><p>“My apologies everyone, the beginning of the season is always a little hard on us. It’s a fresh reminder that they’re gone.” Cas looks around at the table, his eyes not as wet as Claire’s but there’s a sadness there.</p><p>“Cas, it’s alright, I know how you feel,” Dean murmurs, when he looks up at Ellen, she’s nodding for him to go on, “my dad he um, passed about five years ago. And my mother, she died when I was twelve.”</p><p>Those beautiful blue eyes trap him there at the table, Dean clears his throat.</p><p>“What I’m trying to say is that I get it. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. It’ll be easy one moment, and then knock you on your ass the next.”</p><p>“Thank you, Dean,” his hand comes up to rest on his shoulder, “with company like this, I don’t think Claire and I will be on our asses for too much longer.”</p><p>There’s a bark of laughter from the end of the table and Bobby, who’s been virtually silent this entire time, turns the laugh into a cough.</p><p>Claire returns with Donna each carrying a tray with a roasted chicken and the other a bowl filled with potatoes. Dean’s stomach growls appreciatively, and thankfully quietly, at the sight.</p><p>“This looks wonderful, Donna thank you.” Cas takes the tray from her, setting it on the table.</p><p>Claire settles back into her chair; her nose is a little pink, but she doesn’t look too worse for the wear. Dean suspects she’s a tough cookie, she’ll be alright. Especially if she’s got a brother like Castiel in her corner. The Darcy siblings share another look, this one full of love. They may be alone, but at least they have each other.</p><p>“Everyone, please dig in.” Claire smiles and passes the bowl to Ellen.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>They finish dinner without further emotional incident and are back on the sofas having tea and brandy. It felt very sophisticated to him, Dean remembers this is Castiel and Claire’s reality. No matter how much he expects the Queen of England to walk in, they probably have breakfast in this room, in their pajamas!</p><p>He leans over to next to Cas on the couch that Claire has maneuvered them to, “Is there a bathroom around here?”</p><p>“It’s just down the hall to the right.” Castiel replies.</p><p>He excuses himself and sets his brandy on the table. The bathroom is easy enough to find, once finished with his necessities he washes up. His real reason for coming in here vibrates in his pocket. His phone’s been going off steadily for the last two hours. He pulls it out and sends up a silent prayer to any God who will listen for it to not be Becky. He just wanted this time away from her, she couldn’t get to him here. He was sure of it; she didn’t even know he was in Brighton.</p><p>
  <strong>5 missed calls</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>2 voice mails</strong>
</p><p>Unlocking the phone, he closes his eyes, peaking one open he lets out a sigh of relief. Only one from Sam and the other an unknown number.</p><p>
  <strong>Mr. Bennet, this is Dr. Mills with Mercy Hospital. We’re calling about Adam Bennet, you’re listed as his emergency contact. Adam is in the ICU; he’s suffered a server overdose due to drug and alcohol abuse. We strongly suggest you get to the hospital as quick as you can.</strong>
</p><p>He listens to the first message from the unknown, as the nasally voice on the other end speaks Dean can feel his legs start to give out. Sam’s message wasn’t much better.</p><p>
  <strong>Dean, hey. I know you’re with Bobby and Ellen, but I just got a call from Mercy about Adam. Dean’s he’s in bad shape. The doctor I talked to said someone just... dumped him at the ER and drove off. I don’t know if it was Mike and Lou and they just got scared or what but I'm getting on the next flight. I hope you’re already on the way to the hospital... I’ll um, see you soon. If you see Adam, I mean, when you see him, tell him I love him okay. Bye.</strong>
</p><p>He stumbles back into the dining room like a drunk.</p><p>Bobby stands up from the couch, “Dean, what’s the matter?”</p><p>“It’s Adam, he’s in the hospital.”</p><p>“What happened?” Ellen gasps.</p><p>“He OD’d, must have been at a party. Someone just dropped him at the hospital, he’s in the ICU.” Dean slumps down into the closest chair.</p><p>His head a swirl of conflict. Adam was his responsibility and he failed to protect him. He feels a hand on his shoulder and Cas is kneeling in front of him.</p><p>“Dean, do you know who he was with?”</p><p>He shakes his head, but deep down he knows. He’s been sensing something wrong with Adam for months. Ever since the trouble with Becky started, ever since they got connected with Alastair Whickham.</p><p>Dean’s eyes go wide, the letter, Castiel’s letter, and Jane. The same thing had happened to her.</p><p>“No, it can't be like that...” He whispers. He should have warned them all about Alastair’s past; if he had it may have saved his brother from...</p><p>“Dean, you should go, you need to be with your brothers,” Cas pulls him up off the couch, “I can have a car ready in five minutes, follow me.”</p><p>Dean gets up and looks around bewildered.</p><p>“It’s alright Dean, we’ll wait to hear from you.” Ellen’s voice behind him, reassuring him.</p><p>He follows Cas down a long hallway out what looks like a servant's entrance. They’re standing outside, behind Pemberley; inhaling the warm night air. He feels a surge of clarity. Cas was helping him, even after the horrible things he had said but why?</p><p>“Why? Why are you doing this?” He demands, his voice echoing in the deep blue of the evening.</p><p>In the glow of the security lights, Cas’s eyes are dark. He stares at Dean unabashedly, and Dean thinks he’s not going to answer. A black sedan pulls up and the driver gets out. He opens the passenger door for Dean and waits silently.</p><p>Cas leans in towards Dean and murmurs in his ear. “Because I know that, regardless of your opinion of me, you would do the same if you were I my position. That protecting your family comes first.”</p><p>Dean nods in reply, unable to speak. There’s so much he wants to say to him in that moment, but he knows it’s not the time. He needs to get to Sam and Adam.</p><p>“Thank you, Cas, for everything.” Dean hesitates a moment, then without thinking presses a soft kiss to Cas’s stubbled cheek.<br/><br/>But there’s no time to dwell on that now, Adam needs him. Cas tentatively runs a hand down Dean’s arm and brushes their fingers together.</p><p>”You don’t have to thank me,” his eyes urge Dean onward. Knowing there will be time later to talk.</p><p>He nods one last time and climbs into the fine car. Sitting back against the seat, he runs his hands over the cool leather. Trying his best to ground himself. He looks out the back window and Cas is still standing there. He watches till the car is out of sight.</p><p>The drive to the hospital feels like minutes, Dean staring unblinking out the window. Country roads give way to suburban streets, then empty highway. As the city lights just start to rush by him in a blur of red and white the driver turns and jolts him out of a daze.</p><p>“Sir? We’ve arrived.”</p><p>Dean blinks in surprise, the glaring lights of the hospital’s entrance shining like a beacon in the night.</p><p>“Yeah uh, thanks for the ride man,” But he’s already at Deans door before he can finish his sentence.</p><p>Dean steps out of the car, “Thanks.”</p><p>“Sir when you need to leave, call this number and I’ll pick you up at any entrance.”</p><p>Dean looks at the card now in his hand. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“I’ve been assigned to you for the duration of the evening, sir.”</p><p>“Assigned...” Dean trails off.</p><p>“Mr. Darcy takes care of his friends sir.” And with a tip of his hat, he returns to his vehicle and drives away.</p><p>Dean stands in the hospital drive for a moment. Was that what he was? One of Cas’s friends? A warmth spreads through his body at the thought. A siren cries out in the distance, quickly bringing him back to himself. He turns and jogs into the hospital. Hoping he’s not too late.</p><p>Winding through the maze of halls he follows signs to the ICU. There is a nurse behind a desk, although he looks barely awake. Dean knocks softly on the plexiglass.</p><p>“Excuse me?” he says.</p><p>The nurse rubs his face, “What’s the name?”</p><p>“Adam Bennet. He was brought in for a drug overdose...” Dean’s stomach revolts and want to expel the rich dinner he had what two hours ago? He didn’t even know what time it was.</p><p>“Room 522, down the hall, head left.”</p><p>Dean nods and is off without so much as a thank you. At least he didn’t tell him to wait for a doctor. That meant Adam was okay, it had to mean that.</p><p>520...</p><p>521...</p><p>522... Dean steals a breath and opens the door quietly.</p><p>He leans against the door frame, white knuckles gripping the cold metal.He can’t believe how young Adam looks lying there in his gown. His skin is waxy, his eyes sunken in, they looked bruised. He’s hooked up to more machines and wires than a goddamn circuit board.</p><p>Dean falls silently into the empty chair and takes his brother’s hand in his, It’s clammy and cold. He brings it to his lips gently, not wanting to jostle the IV tubes protruding from it.</p><p>“Adam, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m so sorry. I should have protected you. I should have seen Whickham for what he was, please buddy. You gotta pull through this. I can’t lose you too.” Tears fall into the thin cotton blanket; he takes a watery breath.</p><p>He sits in silence for what seems like hours, never stirring as to keep his sibling resting. A light knock on the door rouses him, and a doctor peaks her head in. Dean puts a finger to his lips and motions her back out the door. Once outside with the doors closed softly behind them, he wipes the tears and fatigue from his face. She smiles gently at him; she looks tired too. Her chop of grey hair looks like she may have been leaning on it and she has a sleep crease down her cheek.</p><p>“I’m Jody Mills the on-call doctor for this unit. You must be Adam’s brother.”</p><p>“How bad is Doc? Just tell me straight, is Adam gonna make it?”</p><p>She frowns and pulls the chart up on her iPad. “He’s stable but his liver and kidneys have extensive damage, common with long term narcotics abuse. He is on a ventilator because he lost consciousness in the ambulance twice and were still unclear about which drugs he was on. But it was most likely Percocet, it’s a common party drug.</p><p>“Long term... Doc I think you got it wrong, yeah Adam maybe parties too hard but he’s not an addict.” Dean shakes his head in disbelief, was there a mistake?</p><p>“Mr. Bennet, your brother test shows conclusive evidence he’s been a hard drug user for a number of months, possibly longer. Without intervention and a treatment program the damage to his body will be irreversible. I’m sorry if this news comes as a shock to you.”</p><p>She didn’t sound sorry, she sounded like she was pissed that an 18-year-old kid was in her ICU right now.</p><p>“Treatment, you mean like rehab?”</p><p>“Yes, I can leave you the names of several centers we work with. He can even be transported their directly from the hospital.”</p><p>Theres a mountain of subtext to her suggestion; if Adam doesn’t get into this program right away it will be too late for him. He cannot be allowed to go home first. Dean needs to talk to Sam; he knew Adam had been partying too hard for a while, but weren’t they all looking for a way to blow off steam?</p><p>“Thank you, that would be helpful. I just need to talk with my other brother first.”</p><p>She nods severely, the kindness in her eyes from earlier replaced with steel.</p><p>“We’ll be lowering his pain medication later today, he needs to start waking up or he may not be able to.”</p><p>She turns abruptly her heels clicking down the corridor. Dean remains in the hall; his heart torn between wanting to believe his younger brother wasn’t lying about his recreational habits and the cold hard facts that had just been laid out before him. Was he so blind to what his brother had been up to? Pacing now, he reflects on how preoccupied he’s been lately. Hell, Becky even commented on how distracted he’d been.</p><p>Sam comes flying around the corner, coat and carryon trailing behind him.</p><p>“Hey, is he alright? Is he in there?</p><p>“Yeah, he’s stable. They uh, got him on a ventilator.”</p><p>“Jesus Dean,” Sam drops his bags and sinks to the floor, his chin trembling, “how did this happen?”</p><p>Dean’s throat burns, “I think he was at a party and things just got out of hand.”</p><p>“A party? I didn’t think his friends we’re into this kind of thing.”</p><p>“Yeah, well maybe he’s been hanging around with a different crowd.” The lies keep stacking up, Dean’s so tired of having to keep track of them all.</p><p>“Did they find out who dropped him off?</p><p>Dean hadn't even thought of that, maybe there was security footage, maybe they could nail Whickham for this one.</p><p>“Hey, Sammy, it’s going to be alright.”</p><p>“You don’t know that Dean!”</p><p>“We’re going to get him in a program, get him the help he needs.”</p><p>“How are we going to afford a place like that?”</p><p>Dean falters, the cost hadn’t crossed his mind yet either. Only the thought of Adam getting better.</p><p>“I’ll figure it out, he’s my responsibility. Hey, have you eaten anything? It’s almost breakfast.”</p><p>Sam shakes his head, “They didn’t have anything on the plane.”</p><p>“Why don’t you go find us something edible and maybe some decent coffee. I’ll stay with the kid for a while.”</p><p>“Okay, but Dean, you don’t have to do this alone. I’m his big brother too.”</p><p>Sam’s puppy dog eyes try their hardest to cut into Dean’s resolve, but he doubles down, clasping a hand on his arm.</p><p>“I know Sammy, I know.”</p><p>The younger man walks away, and Dean waits a beat before pulling out his phone. Punching in the familiar number he only waits one ring before the other side picks up.</p><p>“Hey Bobby, yeah it’s not great news. You got a minute? I need your help.”</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>After hanging up with Bobby and trading off guard duty with Sam, Dean steps outside to the parking lot. He was going to run home, grab a shower and change of clothes.</p><p>The enormity of Adam’s situation overwhelms him. In the early hours of the morning the sun has barely peaked its head over the rise of the buildings surrounding the hospital. He feels like he’s been awake for days. He’s already dreading the moment he’ll finally have to stop moving, he may shatter completely.</p><p>He takes out the card the driver had given him. Exhaling a raspy breath, he makes the call.</p><p>“Yes Mr. Bennet?” the calm voice on the other end of the line answers immediately.</p><p>“Hi, um I'm ready to go home now. Could I still get that ride?” This still feels surreal, normally he’d take the subway or maybe an Uber.</p><p>“What entrance are you at?</p><p>Dean looks around, there’s a giant letter C on the wall above the sliding doors.</p><p>“Uh, I guess door C? I came down through a lobby.”</p><p>“Be with you in a moment Mr. Bennet.”</p><p>Dean hangs up and sits down on the bench by the doorway. It's cold, and he wraps his suit jacket tight around him. He wished he could have changed out of these fancy clothes before heading to the hospital but there wasn’t time. Now he’d waste time with Adam doubling back to the house.</p><p>The same car from last night pulls up and the driver is out the front seat to his side before Dean can even stand up. He opens the back passenger door without a word.</p><p>“Thanks for coming to get me.” Dean can barely meet the man’s eyes. Regardless of his position, he’s been more understanding and accommodating than some people Dean has known for years.</p><p>“Of course, sir.”</p><p>Dean sits down and almost falls back out of the open door. Castiel is sitting in the other passenger seat, staring over at him.</p><p>“Oh Jeez! What are you doing here?” He yelps. Cas’s eyes look tired, and his tie is undone around the collar. Was he up all night too, Dean wonders?</p><p>“I wanted to check in on your brother, and I needed to speak with you.” Cas speaks plainly as if this were the most common way of getting in touch with someone.</p><p>“I’m not really in the mood to talk right now Cas.” Dean slumps in the seat and puts his head in his hands. Even with his eyes closed he can feel Castiel staring at him.</p><p>“Alright, well let’s get you home then.”</p><p>The car starts up, without another word from Cas, and it pulls out of the parking lot.</p><p>Emotions swirl within Dean stronger and faster than a hurricane. The fear of losing Adam, the mounting cost of getting him the help he’ll need, the continued struggle to save their home... It all comes to a head, he finally stopped moving and the weight of everything on his shoulders is more than he can bear.</p><p>Tears fall silently on the lapels of his jacket; he didn’t want to do this in front of Castiel, he felt so weak and helpless already. The last thing he wanted was his pity.</p><p>There’s a warm hand on his shoulder and Dean lets out a sob without meaning to. He’s been pushing down all of this for so long, the levee breaks and he leans into Castiel’s touch.</p><p>An arm comes up around his shoulder, he hears Castiel unbuckle his seatbelt and feels him shift over next to Dean.</p><p>A soft whisper in his ear, “Dean it's alright, you can let go now. I’ve got you.”</p><p>It’s all the permission he needs, he buries his face into Cas’s shoulder and lets loose months, possibly years, of pain. He can't stop it, his body wracks with sorrow. All the while a soothing hand on his back, and soft breath at his temple. After what seems like an eternity the shaking stops. He’s made a mess of Cas’s jacket.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He sniffs.</p><p>Cas presses his lips softly against the side of Dean’s forehead in a tender kiss, “Dean, you don’t have to apologize.”</p><p>Warm rivers of tears stream down his face as he looks up into those impossible blue eyes. They’re so full of longing, and regret. Dean hates that he put those feelings there. That he was too proud to admit how he felt before.</p><p>“Cas... I just... I don’t...” He can't finish his sentence, there’s so much to say but nothing comes out.</p><p>Castiel gently wipes a tear from his face, “What do you want Dean?”</p><p>It wasn’t fair, everything that had happened in the last 8 months has felt like a nightmare. Dean just wants so desperately to wake up. For it to all be over. He wants to be selfish, just for once, to take what he wanted first instead of fighting for scraps.</p><p>He looks deep into Castiel’s eyes, searching for some sign it isn't too late. That he didn’t ruin everything that was just starting out between them. And what he sees there is maybe some indication that it's not over.</p><p>That kiss he planted on Castiel last night seemed like a distant memory now, but it could have been the beginning of something, it could be the thing that changes everything. He only needed to tell him what he wanted.</p><p>“I don’t want to be alone right now...” he lets the implication hang there between them. Castiel pulls back a little and his eyes widen at realization. Dean’s cheeks burn, he made a mistake, it was too late. He lowers his head again willing his tears to stop. He screwed everything up, yet again.</p><p>Castiel’s voice breaks through his doubt, “Arthur, change of plans. Take us to the apartment.” Dean’s head flies back up at the sound and he almost butts Castiel in the nose.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Dean whispers.</p><p>Cas smiles and it erases any question left lingering in his head, he pulls Dean into a warm embrace, “Don't ask stupid questions.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean sits with his head resting on Cas’s shoulder. They haven’t spoken in several minutes; Cas just continues to rub his back or pet his hair. If Dean wasn’t so freaked out about what’s going to happen next, it may have calmed him down because it felt really good.</p><p>They were going to Cas’s apartment; Dean had explicitly told Cas he didn’t want to be alone. His heart pounds at the thought, what was Cas going to do? What was he going to do?</p><p>Should he try to kiss him again? Maybe reach out for the hand that’s resting gently on his knee? He may have made the wrong assumption; Cas could just want to spend some time with him is all. They were probably just going to talk about all the crap that happened.</p><p>“You’re thinking very loudly.” Cas’s voice rumbles in his ear.</p><p>Dean jumps and tilts his head up to make eye contact, Cas is staring down at him, his expression soft but guarded.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean, I can practically hear the 37 different theories screaming around in your head right now.”</p><p>Dean’s cheeks burn, he buries his face in Cas’s shoulder. He was so goddamn nervous. The car comes to a stop in front of a high rise and the driver opens the door on Dean’s side. He gets shakily to his feet and waits on the sidewalk for Cas who turns to him once out of the car.</p><p>“Do you have a house key on you?”</p><p>Dean blinks at the question, “Like to <em>my</em> house?”</p><p>“Yes, I’m going to send Arthur for some of your clothes. Unless you’d rather wear that suit all day?”</p><p>Dean stands flummoxed on the pavement. Were rich people always this commanding? How was it possible he just gave up his house keys to a stranger? Who was going to go rifle through his things, through his underwear!</p><p>He fumbles for his keys in his pockets, handing the small ring over to Cas, who passes it to the driver.</p><p>“Thank you, Arthur.” Cas dismisses his driver who nods silently.</p><p>Cas intertwines their fingers and leads Dean into the stunning lobby. There are very few people coming in and out this early, a man at the front desk nods to Castiel as they stroll past to a single elevator. Cas pulls a card from his pocket and swipes it. Dean can barely hear the hum of the elevator coming down over the blood pounding in his ears. The doors open and Castiel lets go of Dean’s hand to let him in the car. As he turns to the keypad another couple walks up to the elevator, Cas holds his hand up.</p><p>“Take the next one.” He growls out and the doors slide closed in their shocked faces. His back is still to Dean as he swipes the card again and the elevator rumbles upward.</p><p>“That wasn’t very polite Mr. Darcy.”</p><p>“I wanted some privacy.” Cas replies, his tone more gruff than usual. It sends a blade of arousal right to Dean’s gut.</p><p>Dean has seen enough movies and tv shows to know what’s going to happen next; Cas is going to turn around, step closer, invade Dean’s personal space. Push him up against the wall and envelope him in a rough embrace. Kiss him passionately right here in the elevator.</p><p>His heart pounds in anticipation, tension building in the small space.</p><p>But Cas doesn’t turn, in fact he seems like he’s avoiding looking at Dean altogether. His hands are fisted at his sides, Dean can see the hard plane of his shoulders through his tight suit jacket. Cas looks coiled like a wire, ready to spring at any moment.</p><p>The doors open to a spacious apartment and Cas steps forward without a word. Dean blinks a minute at the back of the car. Where the hell was his passionate kiss? The door is about to close again and Dean scrambles out of the elevator.</p><p>The entrance leads to a living room with chocolate brown leather furniture, there’s a fireplace along the far wall sandwiched between the largest built-in shelves Dean has ever seen outside a library. They must go up 9ft, there’s even have a ladder on casters off to one side! Each shelf is filled with books; some look to be a hundred years old, others are shiny new hardcovers. Dean itches to go over and pull volume after volume off the shelves but Cas’s walking away again.</p><p>They pass the kitchen and dining area; it looks as if Cas may use his table as a desk because there’s paper and binders all over it. A half empty cup of coffee sits next to a plate with a crumpled-up napkin and fork. Cas must have come must have come home last night after Dean left Pemberley.</p><p>Down a short hall, Cas turns into a room, Dean blindly follows. Not a clue as to what Castiel’s motives are now that they’re in his apartment and he’s taking every opportunity to avoid telling Dean what they’re doing.</p><p>He rounds the corner of the door and they’re in a bedroom. Dean is in a bedroom with Cas, and there’s a bed. A big bed, and Holy Shit is this Cas’s bed?</p><p>Was this really happening? Was Cas’s seduction technique to just lead him into a place where you have sex and hope for the best? No, that couldn’t be right, could it? He lingers in the doorway, unsure if he’s supposed to keep following Cas.</p><p>“Dean,” Cas is standing in the middle of the room, he holds out a hand to him, “come here.”</p><p>That tone ignites a fire inside him, forget Cas’s lack of finesse. The man clearly just needs to ask, and Dean will pretty much do whatever he wants. He steps quickly over to Castiel, taking his hand. This is it! There’s no more doubt in his mind of what’s about to happen.</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking Dean...” Cas sighs.</p><p>Dean tries his damnedest to keep a neutral expression on his face as Cas lets go of his hand and slowly runs his fingers up the arms of Dean’s coat. He smooths the lapels and starts undoing the buttons on his shirt. Surely Cas can feel Dean’s heart pounding through his chest, it feels like it could burst through his ribs.</p><p>“What am I thinking Cas?”</p><p>“You’re thinking we’re going to have sex right now, but we’re not.”</p><p>Like hell we’re not!</p><p>“Then why are you undressing me?” Dean starts to reach for Cas’s tie, but he bats his hand away.</p><p>“Because you can’t sleep in your suit.” He finishes the last button and starts to help him out of his jacket.</p><p>“So, we’re going to sleep?” Dean shrugs out of his coat and shirt, he’s in a white tee and the coolness of the room pebbles his bare arms with goosebumps.</p><p>“<em>You’re</em> going to sleep... I’m going to go get some work done.”</p><p>No way, that’s not fair! Cas can’t just get him all worked up with elevator rides and soft kisses in his hair and then bail on him! He’s not getting out of this so easy.</p><p>“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Dean reaches down and tugs off one shoe and then another.</p><p>“I have a lot of work to do.”</p><p>That was total bull. Now that his hands are empty, Cas has got them curled into tight little fists again. He wants to stay; he’s just being stubborn. Well two can play that game.</p><p>Dean backs up a little and starts to unbuckle his belt, Cas’s eyes follow the movement like a moth to a flame.</p><p>“What are you doing Dean?”</p><p>“Just getting comfortable, I can’t sleep in my suit pants either.” And with that thought he shucks his pants to the floor.</p><p>Cas sucks in a breath through his teeth as Dean steps out of them and tosses them on top of the jacket and shirt. Standing in his boxers, He’s about to go for the money shot and lose the t-shirt too, his hands reach behind his head to start pulling it off.</p><p>“Wait!” Cas cries out.</p><p>Dean raises his brows, “What’s up Cas?”</p><p>The other man rolls his eyes, frustration all over his face, “I can stay till you fall asleep.”</p><p>That’s not quite good enough for Dean, he pulls a tormented expression, “but you said I didn’t have to be alone...”</p><p>It’s totally a cheap move and he knows it, but he’s so turned on right now he doesn’t care about playing fair.</p><p>Cas lets out a growl, “Fine, but we are sleeping. And that thing stays on!” He points a finger at Dean’s shirt. Dean resigns that’s about as good a compromise as he’s going to get, which is still amazing, and he nods.</p><p>“Okay, deal.”</p><p>Cas unwinds his tie the rest of the way and slides it through his collar. He unbuttons his shirt, and he has his own black tee underneath. Dean forgot about his arms, Cas is always covered from head to toe in Hugo Boss or Armani. He just wants to drink in the sight of all that bare skin.</p><p>Cas starts to walk to the bed where Dean has sat on the edge, but he holds up a hand to stop him.</p><p>“No dice, those too Darcy.” Pointing to Cas's own trousers, teasing his tongue in his teeth for good measure.</p><p>“You’re ridiculous.”</p><p>Dean grins, the tension he felt earlier slowly leaving his body.</p><p>“Ridiculously adorable?” He waggles his eyebrows.</p><p>Cas scoffs, “Something like that...”</p><p>He removes his pants and lays them on top of the other clothes. Clad in his own set of underwear, Cas blushes a little under Dean’s heavy stare.</p><p>“Stop staring...”</p><p>“Can’t help it, I like what I see, I’m going to look at it.” And he did want to look, in his underclothes Cas was quite an impressive sight. Muscular thighs, a slim waist, pecs pulling his shirt tight across his chest. Castiel’s blush deepens and Dean wonders if it spreads all over his body too, maybe even when he comes. Shit, he needs to get his mind out of the gutter if he’s going to keep Cas in the room.</p><p>Dean scoots up all the way on the big bed now, the blankets are soft and an inviting. He tucks his legs under the sheets and pats the bed next to him. Another eye roll and Castiel walks around to the opposite side. He climbs in and sits next to Dean. They stare at each other, something needs to happen, or Dean is going to jump Cas, deals be damned.</p><p>“Cas, I am not the least bit tired.”</p><p>Cas frowns, “You’ve been up all night, you need some sleep.” He lays back against the pillows and puts an arm on Dean’s shoulder to pull him closer.</p><p>Grinning like an idiot, Dean scoots around so they’re nestled front to back. Cas’s arm comes around the front of him and he tucks his head under Cas’s chin. His butt parked right up against Cas’s crotch. This was the most wonderful / terrible idea Dean has ever had. More awake than ever, Dean thinks he can feel every sensation in the room. Cas’s warm breath on the back of his neck, the rise and fall of his chest behind Dean, his strong arms wrapped around him. Definitely not his cock, desperate to join the party, aching between his legs.</p><p>“Cas,” he whispers harshly, “it’s daylight. I don’t think I can fall asleep.”</p><p>The room has several large windows that were all open to the early morning sun.</p><p>“My apologies,” he mumbles into the top of Dean’s head and rolls away.</p><p>Dean already missing his warmth sits up to see Cas take a small remote out of the nightstand. There’s an audible click and then the whirl of a motor as the shades come down inside the windows.</p><p>“That’s a neat trick, I bet you impress a lot of people like that.” Dean comments as Cas drags him back in his arms.</p><p>“No, it’s usually dark when I bring a lover home.”</p><p>Dean tries to struggle away but Cas pins him tighter. He’s shaking with laughter in the dark.</p><p>“Oh, blow me Cas!” He growls and flops around, embarrassed to be tricked so easily. <span class="TextRun BCX0 SCXW180211731"><span class="NormalTextRun BCX0 SCXW180211731">Castiel laughs loud and clear, the sound wraps around Dean’s heart. He thinks he’s never heard it before, which can't possibly be true, but now it felt like he never wanted to live without it.</span></span></p><p>“We’re going to sleep now, but maybe another time if you ask me nicely.” Cas whispers in his ear, Dean can feel his nose tickle the shell of his ear. He shivers at the thought, Cas on his knees in front of Dean. Eyes looking up at him in want, his lips pulled tight around his cock. </p><p>He whines a little, “That kind of talk is not going to put me to sleep.”</p><p>"Hush, I know just what kind of talk you need," Cas plants a kiss to Dean’s hair, “So right now I’m working on a clause, 06 Section 7702A, which provides that a life insurance contract is a modified endowment contract...”</p><p>Dean doesn’t hear another word. He’s already drifting off to sleep with Cas’s lips on his temple and a smile on his own face.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Dean wakes alone in the soft light of the bedroom.</p><p>Castiel’s bedroom...</p><p>Castiel’s bed!</p><p>He closes his eyes tightly and springs them open. He’s still there, in his underwear, laying on the most comfortable mattress he’s ever slept on. He pinches his arm hard enough to sting; it's all real. He really slept here with Cas, wait, where is Cas?</p><p>The other side of the bed is still warm, so he didn’t leave too long ago. Dean sits up and tries very hard not to think about this now being his side of the bed. There’s enough ambient light that he can tell it's still daytime. Looking around he finds his phone, which is dead. Great, he needs to find a charger and check in on Adam. Sam’s probably freaking out by now.</p><p>At that thought he’s swamped with guilt. He’s been here having a not so sexy sleepover, while Sam’s been stuck at the hospital for who knows how long. He needed to get back there, but the one thing he doesn’t find is a pair of pants. Hopefully they weren't too far away.</p><p>He steps out into the hall and can hear Cas’s voice. It’s muffled, and from the pace he’s on a phone call. He tiptoes toward the end of the hall, not wanting to disturb Cas or draw attention to himself. Cas is standing by the table, he’s still in his shorts and t-shirt, with his back to him. Dean takes the opportunity to admire Castiel’s back side. And makes a mental note he should really invest in some better underwear for himself.</p><p>He resists the urge to walk up and wrap his around Cas, plant a soft kiss at the base of his neck, maybe reach down and see how eager he is to keep talking on the phone. He shakes the thoughts away; Cas was not his boyfriend. He didn’t even know what they were. Maybe Dean was projecting all these thoughts on to Cas, and he didn’t feel the same way. He inadvertently lets out a sigh and Cas whips around at the sound.</p><p>Dean winces and mouths ‘Sorry!’ to Cas.</p><p>The other man shakes his head and holds up a finger for one minute.</p><p>Dean takes the opportunity to explore more of the dining and living areas, having been so preoccupied earlier. In addition to all those books, there’s artwork and photographs on the walls. Pictures of Cas with his family; smiling with Eileen at a party, the same proud college grad photo from Pemberley, a baby in a, very angsty, teen Castiel’s arms; probably Claire judging by the pink blanket.</p><p>Cas comes up beside Dean, “No Gabe, I don’t care what excuse she gave you; her records don’t line up with the case files I pulled. Something is wrong,” he pauses while Gabe no doubt tries to explain for whoever Cas is pissed at, “Well then, I suggest you ask her. Or believe me, I will be asking.”</p><p>He hangs up, tosses the phone on the table next to Dean, and pinches the bridge of his nose. Dean feels a flicker of guilt. Cas is only at home on a Thursday because of him.</p><p>“Darcy, you didn’t have to take the day off for me...”</p><p>Cas opens his eyes, every time Dean looks into them, he discovers some new shade of blue there. Today, in the bright white of his living room their icy and clear. Dean’s happy he wasn’t on the receiving end of that call, Cas looks fierce.</p><p>“I’m entitled to a personal day.” He retorts.</p><p>“Speaking of... what time is it? My phone is dead.”</p><p>“It’s only just after noon, I wish you would have slept longer.” He runs his thumb over Dean’s cheek and his fierce expression softens.</p><p>“I should get back to the hospital, Sam’s got to be going out of his mind.” But Dean just leans further into Castiel’s touch.</p><p>Cas steps a little closer, his bare feet brushing Dean’s, “I called up there after you fell asleep. Left a message for him.”</p><p>He did? “You did? What did you say?”</p><p>“Just that you needed to rest for a little while, but you’d be back this afternoon to take over. Adam was still stable when I called.” Cas’s other hand runs down Dean’s bare arms and he shivers at the sensation.</p><p>“How’d you manage to get an update?”</p><p>“My family funded the pediatric wing of the hospital.”</p><p>Of course they did, he was never going to get used to this. Cas’s wealth was unfathomable sometimes. Cas is still running his thumb in a light pattern on his face, he’s been staring at Dean’s mouth the entire time.</p><p>“Cas, did you sleep at all?” Dean raises a brow.</p><p>Cas shakes his head, stepping a little closer, the hem of his shirt brushes past Dean’s hand. His fingers itch to tug it closer.</p><p>“I wasn’t tired,”</p><p>Dean swallows down the lump in his throat, they were standing almost hip to hip. Closer than they had been the night they danced, close enough to kiss.</p><p>“Do you want to come back to bed?” Dean presses his lips into the delicate skin of Cas’s palm.</p><p>Cas bites his lower lip, “I’m still not tired.”</p><p>Dean smirks, “Not the question I asked.”</p><p>Just one more breath, one more inch, and they’d be done for. Dean grips the soft fabric Cas’s shirt just as Cas’s hand tightens on his other wrist.</p><p>The cell phone on the sideboard jangles and vibrates and it sounds like a bomb going off. Dean crashes back into the shelf, knocking pictures over in their frames. Castiel dives over to pick up the ringing phone.</p><p>“Hello!” He barks out.</p><p>Dean looks down in embarrassment and sees they’re both sporting tents in their shorts, well at least he’s not the only one.</p><p>“Yes, sorry I was in the middle of something.” Cas replies to the caller.</p><p>You were about to start something Cas, now if he could just get him off the phone maybe Dean could finish it.</p><p>Cas’s head flies up and he looks over at Dean, “You did? When?”</p><p>Dean’s desire for Cas implodes with that look, like a jungle cat stalking its prey. Whatever is going on, Cas looked ready to sink his teeth into someone, and whoever it was, they were walking away bloody.</p><p>“Absolutely, yes I'm sure of it,” he pauses, “because he’s here with me now.”</p><p>Dean blinks at this, what did he have to do with any of this conversation?</p><p>“We’ll be there, probably an hour at most.”</p><p>Guess that interlude was off the table, again, Dean frowns to himself. He still didn’t know where he stood with Cas. Clearly, they were attracted to each other, there was no denying the chemistry he felt. And it seemed last night they may have had more in common than Dean initially realized. But did Cas want a relationship, or did he just want to jump Dean’s bones? And despite how many times Dean has said sorry in the last 24 hours, he didn’t feel like he truly apologized to Cas for their fight a few months back.</p><p>“Yes alright, goodbye.” Cas hang up and looks over to where Dean is trying to arrange the photos back the way they were.</p><p>“What’s up Cas?”</p><p>Now that’s he’s off the phone, Cas’s lost some of the predatory gleam in his eye, but not enough to put Dean totally at ease, “That was a friend of mine with the police department.”</p><p>“Shit Cas, is everything okay?”</p><p>Cas holds a hand up, “I think it will be, Agent Henriksen had some very good news.”</p><p>“Why was he calling you? What news?”</p><p>“They have security footage from the hospital.”</p><p>Dean’s eyes go wide, “And? What did they find?”</p><p>Cas flashes a smile that’s more animal than man, “It shows the person who dropped Adam at the ER.”</p><p>It’s him, it had to be. There’s no other reason for Castiel to look as righteous as he does right now.</p><p>“They took Whickham into custody about an hour ago.”</p><p>A tidal wave of anger washes over him, red clouds his vision, and all he can see is Adam’s broken body lying in that hospital bed. His fists clench at his sides, nails cut into his palms. His heart pounds to the beat of a war drum in his head.</p><p>“Get me my goddamn pants, let’s go put that son of a bitch in a cage.”</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Dean stomps into the police station feeling like Wyatt Earp, he’s ready to kick ass and take names. Starting with Alastair Whickham. As they wait for the desk sergeant to call down to Agent Henriksen Dean paces up and down the hall. Weaving in and out of the way of civilians and cops alike. Cas sits calmly on a bench, typing rapidly on his phone.</p><p>At Dean’s fourth pass down the hall, he puts his phone down, “Dean, come here.”</p><p>Dean stops in his tracks; Cas’s has got that commanding tone again that makes him want to just drop to his knees in supplication. He walks over to the bench and sits down in a huff.</p><p>“What’s taking so long?”</p><p>Cas strokes the hair at the nape of his neck, trying to sooth the poorly contained rage Dean still feels. It’s working, Dean can feel his heartrate slowing with every gentle brush. This goes on for a few minutes then at some random interval Cas will tug on his hair. The sensation thrills him, and the fact Cas knew just what Dean needed to calm down.</p><p>“Well, they had to get him through processing, and depending on whether they brought him in for questioning or under arrest, he’d have to be interviewed or booked on charges.”</p><p>“Thanks Law and Order....” Dean rolls his eyes and tries to stand, but Cas tugs him back down again.</p><p>“Dean, he’s not getting out of this. They have video evidence.”</p><p>“You told me that the charges from Jane’s death were dropped though.” On the short car ride over here, Cas had explained his last conversation with Agent Henriksen. And how the DA struggled to make a case with insufficient evidence.</p><p>“This will be an entirely new case, and this time they’ll have a victim statement.” Cas's tone is calm, but Dean can feel the fire banking underneath it. He’s been waiting for this a long time.</p><p>“But what if Adam...” Dean can't continue, he can't fathom a world where Adam doesn’t pull through.</p><p>“Dean he’s going to make it. Mercy Hospital is affiliated with some of the best treatment programs in the country.”</p><p>Yeah, and probably some of the most expensive too, Dean thinks. He hadn't even begun to look over the information Dr. Mills left in Adam’s room. Everything was happening so fast, if he had to make one more choice, he felt like he’d start screaming.</p><p>An African American man, with close cropped hair and a cheap suit walks over to them. Cas stands and pulls Dean to his feet along with him.</p><p>“Victor, what can you tell us?”</p><p>Dean talks over Cas, “Was he arrested?”</p><p>The man holds up a hand, “Darcy, Mr. Bennet. He’s been arrested; they’re waiting for his lawyers to arrive.”</p><p>“What charges?” Cas stills Dean with a hand, gripping it firmly in his own. If Henriksen notices, or has a problem with it, he doesn’t say.</p><p>“Reckless endangerment, for now. They’re trying to get a warrant to search his apartment. ”</p><p>Cas’s eyes ignite, “That’s barely a misdemeanor!”</p><p>Dean closes his eyes; it wasn’t going to work. He was going to get away again. And more people would get hurt, “What about the drugs?”</p><p>“That’s what the warrant is for, they’re hoping for possession of narcotics and intent to distribute. They believe he was dealing, that’s how he was able to meet... people.”</p><p>Cas, says aside to Dean, “Those are felony charges, if convicted it would mean a year or two in Federal Prison.”</p><p>“Let’s not get too far ahead Darcy.” Victor frowns.</p><p>“You have a witness!” Cas is practically shouting now.</p><p>Victor takes a breath, calmer now, “A witness who’s currently unconscious in the hospital. And we don’t know the extent of his involvement with Whickham.”</p><p>Dean raises his own voice at this, “He wasn’t involved, Adam’s not a bad kid. Whickham manipulated him. He had his eye on him from the day we met!”</p><p>And he didn’t see it or didn’t want to. Dean had been so wrapped up in his own bullshit he missed all the signs Adam was fading away. The schoolwork, the fighting, disappearing for days at a time. Dean never asked to be a father, but it was clear he’d been a shitty one at that.</p><p>“The additional security footage shows Adam coming and going on his own accord. If the defense gets a hold of that they’re going to use that against him, Adam was 18 and an adult. They’re going to say he made his own choices.” Victor says, and Castiel stills next to Dean.</p><p>“What additional footage? I thought you only had the hospital?” Dean looks between the two men, who have both decided to shut the hell up in a hurry.</p><p>“What are you not saying? Cas, what is he talking about?” Dean’s hands want to tremble, he tries to hold onto Cas tighter, but he can feel him pulling away.</p><p>“Dean, please understand, this case has been going on long before I ever met you and your family.” Cas stares over Dean’s left shoulder, he’s looking right at him, but his eyes won't meet his.</p><p>“I don’t understand anything because you won't tell me!”</p><p>Cas looks down at the floor and then back up at Dean, he does meet his eyes this time and they’re filled with shame and regret.</p><p>“I had men watching Whickham’s apartment; they took the video surveillance Victor is referring to.”</p><p>Dean can't breathe, his lungs have collapsed and he’s sucking wind like a dying man, “How long have they been watching?”</p><p>“Please believe me, this was the only way to prove what Whickham was up to.”</p><p>“<strong>HOW LONG CAS?</strong>” Dean shouts and several officers stop what they’re doing. Their sharp cop eyes watching this now volatile interaction.</p><p>Cas’s sad eyes search his face but only finds doubt. “The day after Jane’s funeral... But Dean you need to know, if I knew that Adam was in danger, they would have intervened.”</p><p>“He was in danger! You let him walk right into a lion’s den and you did nothing! I thought you cared Cas. Didn’t you say protecting family was the only thing that mattered?”</p><p>“It is, Dean I’m sorry...”</p><p>Dean’s organs must be hemorrhaging, there is no way he could hurt this badly and not be dying. The son of a bitch did it again. He made Dean think he was good, but he’d had his own motives this entire time. He’d been wrong about everything. And because he trusted Castiel his brother could be dead. He could be dead right now, and Dean’s just standing here wanting to punch anything that might look at him wrong. Starting with this blue-eyed disaster right in front of him.</p><p>“Screw your sorry Cas, you’ve messed with me for the last time.”</p><p>He starts to walk away but Cas grabs his arm, “Please, can we just go home and talk?”</p><p>“Home? Which one Cas? Your <em>posh</em> apartment? How about that museum you call a home in Brighton? Or the dump I live in which, oh by the way since I've got to pay for my brother’s fucking rehab, I will probably lose in the next few months?"</p><p>He shrugs off the hand on his shoulder and barrels to the exit.</p><p>“Dean wait...” He spins around, Cas is right on his heels and he shoves him back.</p><p>“Don’t come near me, or my family again. Or I swear to God Darcy,” he pauses and lets the anger come now, he knows it shows on his face because Castiel stays back. His eyes shimmer with tears, but that only fuels Dean’s fire more, “You’re dead to me.”</p><p>He leaves Cas standing in his wake, with blood in his eyes and an ache in his heart he races out the door to the street. It’s a perfect spring day and Dean wants to jump off the nearest building.</p><p>How did he let things get so out of hand? How could all his choices in the last year been wrong? He takes his phone out, forgetting that it's still dead and he curses. He needed to get back to the hospital, it’s been hours since he left Sam there.</p><p>He debates for two seconds on subway or cab and urgency wins out over cost. He walks to the corner and throws his hand up in the air. A bright yellow cab pulls up in minutes and Dean climbs in.</p><p>“Mercy Hospital please, and I'm in a hurry.”</p><p>The drivers nods and they pull out into traffic. Dean forces himself not look back at the police station, so he won't see the lone figure in a trench coat watching him drive away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am flying through these chapters, I hope you're enjoying them as much as I am writing them!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean shifts uncomfortably in a circle of hard plastic chairs; struggling to find a way to sit that didn’t look ridiculous, his butt went numb about an hour ago. There’s an underlying smell of bad coffee, unwashed hair, and overly strong cleaning chemicals in the air. Six pairs of eyes stare at him, several of them are red from crying.</p><p>This is the third session at Jericho Rehabilitation Center that’s he’s participated in; and for the money it costs he was willing to suffer the two hours every Tuesday waiting for their turn to speak. Group therapy; as it turned out, was not Dean’s favorite activity.</p><p>Fortunately, Adam’s turn was about to start, and it was the last one of the night. He still looked too thin; in the time that had passed since his hospital stay Adam had to have lost over ten pounds. Whether that was from the withdrawals or the crappy hospital food Dean wasn’t sure. But regardless even if he had managed to put back on half the weight, Dean remembers how unnerving it had been to see his brother’s gaunt cheeks and hollow eyes when he was first discharged.</p><p>Adam’s slipper clad foot taps a dull rhythm on the linoleum floor. His hands tremble as he pulls out a folded sheet of lined paper. His lopsided scrawl visible on both the front and back, Dean adjusts his position in the faded green chair. This was going to be a long 25 minutes, and his back was not going to thank him for it anytime soon.</p><p>“Dean,” Adam reads from his paper his eyes downcast on the page, “today I wanted to speak about my plans for when I get to come home.”</p><p>He pauses and licks his chapped lips; Dean looks over at the head therapist, Dr. Pamela Barnes who nods slightly. She was maybe five years older than Dean, but she had been running this program for three years and had worked at the center for over ten. A former addict herself, Dean learned in one of their first meetings, Pamela had grown up on the streets of Queens. And when faced with jail time or rehabilitation, after the DEA busted the drug smuggling ring she had been forced into; she wisely chose the latter.</p><p>He, Adam, and Sam had all listened wide eyed to her tale; it was quite a story. She had used her time at the center to get clean, was hired to help with peer therapy, put herself through school with scholarships and grants, then came back to the center after getting her degree. It made Dean feel a little guilty that he had let something so small derail his college plans, when Pamela had overcome so much with far less.</p><p>Adam continues on, “First I'd like to ask if it's okay if I come back home? I know that I betrayed your trust and that has to be earned back.” He looks over at Dr. Barnes, who urges him to keep going. Dean suspected Adam had developed a little crush on her, which wasn’t too surprising. She had the body of a model and the disposition of a Hell’s Angel. Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t have a little crush too.</p><p>“Secondly, I’m going to take summer classes to finish my GED. Which I didn’t complete because of the choices I made.”</p><p>Dean feels his phone vibrate once in his pocket; he tries not to draw attention to it. The sound feels like it reverberates off every corner of the room. Whoever it was, they could wait. Adam was just getting warmed up, and Dean promised himself he’d be present as long as Adam wanted him here.</p><p>The first few weeks, Adam wouldn’t even look at them. Once he regained consciousness, Sam and Dean took shifts at the hospital. At first, they were met with anger and sarcasm; Adam didn’t want their help, he was fine, and they were just being a bunch of jerks. This went on despite Adam’s protests till Bobby got wind of it and came down to the hospital. He shut Sam and Dean out of that room for over an hour, but when he left Adam was apologetic and ready to get with the program. He knew he needed help; he was just scared out of his mind to ask them for it. Bobby said he was just being an ungrateful dumbass.</p><p>Adam flips his paper over, “Third, I’m going to apply for part time jobs and hand over my paycheck to help pay the mortgage. If I’m going to live in that house, it's not going to be rent free.”</p><p>The mortage, now that was the one silver lining of this whole ordeal. With Adam in the hospital and his treatment so expensive, Sam let the folks at Netherfield West know he couldn’t stay to finish the launch. He needed to come back to the East Coast; and the higher ups in NYC were willing to offer him a generous bonus to come back. Sam had planned to put all of that towards Adam’s treatment, but Bobby found out about that too and put his foot down. Sam had earned that money, Bobby and Ellen were going to cover the treatment and Dean could pay them back once the mortage was back up to a manageable level.</p><p>Dean had also come clean, well sort of, about their financial struggles and the mess with the De Bourg Firm. Not about Becky and their unseemly deal, but the fight for the house and the bank wanting to buy out their mortgage. His aunt and uncle had also offered to pay the house off, but Dean respectfully declined. He was getting a handle on it, only a couple more payments and they’d be out of the red. He was grateful for the help with Adam, but the house was his responsibility.</p><p>His phone goes off again, and it tugs him back to the present. It’s a double buzz and its loud enough for Pamela to look over a raise her eyebrow at him. He can feel his cheeks heat up; he did not want to be on the receiving end of her wrath. Hopefully whoever it was would stop texting him.</p><p>He looks back over to Adam, who’s waiting to continue. Dean nods thoughtfully, and rests his elbows on his knees, wanting to appear 100% engaged in what Adam was saying. Even if he had been saying some version of this same thing for the last three sessions. Next was going to be something about going to NA, which he was going to do anyway. The four adults had left him no choice, go to meetings or you were on your own.</p><p>Adam takes a deep breath, preparing himself for his final promise. It's not that he was insincere, it was just that, Adam was kind of a dumbass kid. And yes, Dean thought he would try his best to overcome his circumstances, it was just getting harder for Dean to feel the same guilt he had when Adam was lying in his hospital bed. Especially when Adam was trying to milk the attention he was getting from his friends and classmates. His room here was decorated with cards from everyone in his school.</p><p>“And lastly, I’m going to stay clean, so I can testify against Alastair Whickham in court.” He smiles resolutely.</p><p>“I’m sorry, do what now?” The words are out of Dean’s mouth before he can stop them. Usually, he stays quiet and lets Adam do his thing during these sessions. After the first one where they ended up screaming at each other, Dr. Barnes recommended Dean use this time to reflect on Adam’s words. What she really meant was shut the hell up.</p><p>Adam lets out an exasperated sigh, “Like, if it goes to trial, I’m going to be a witness for the DA.”</p><p>“Who told you that?” Dean had been keeping Adam’s involvement in the case against Whickham relatively minimal. He had made a statement to Agent Hendriksen, but Dean had been the only one talking with the District Attorney directly.</p><p>Whickham’s lawyers were still trying to deal but the DA was a freaking shark. He wasn’t letting Whickham go without a lot of blood in the water. He told Dean a few weeks ago two things were going in their favor, the judge who signed the search warrant remembered Whickham from his time as a corporate lawyer and had no qualms letting the NYPD toss his house for drugs, which they found a buttload of. And secondly, the defense hadn’t managed to get their hands on the surveillance footage of Adam’s comings and goings at Whickham’s apartment. Thus, keeping Adam off their radar, and the focus only on the narcotics charges.</p><p>His brother’s eye cut away, “No one, I... I just assumed.”</p><p>He was clearly lying; Adam had been talking to someone about the case. And that someone was either giving him the wrong information or Adam had wildly misunderstood. It was probably the latter, Adam also thought this was going to a swanky rehab with celebrities around every corner. He was sorely mistaken upon arrival. But Dean had to be sure it wasn’t someone from Whickham’s team or the press.</p><p>“Look Adam...” Dean starts but Dr. Barnes clears her throat, cutting the tension between the two of them.</p><p>“I think this discussion would be better done in private.”</p><p>The two other residence (they didn’t call them patients here) and their respective family members are all staring at Dean and Adam like this is an episode of Days of Our Lives. Dean immediately straightens up as the heat creeps up his neck.</p><p>“Right, sorry,” He says to her, “Adam, we can talk about this later.”</p><p>Adam folds his arms over his chest, “I don’t really want to talk about it at all.”</p><p>Punk kid... He was going to have to set the record straight on what Adam would or more specifically would not be saying regarding the case against Whickham.</p><p>“Adam, did you have anything else you wanted to share with Dean?” Dr. Barnes asks.</p><p>“No, he doesn’t care anyway.” Adam spits out.</p><p>Damn it, they weren’t going to do this again. The phone buzzes rapidly now, no longer text but a phone call. Dean starts to pull it out and check the display.</p><p>Adam points at him, “See he can't even be bothered to listen. You should have just let me die Dean! Then you could spend time with your rich boyfriend and forget all about me!”</p><p>Dean scoffs, for one he was being super dramatic. And regardless, there was absolutely no rich boyfriend in his life. Dean had not heard from Darcy at all in the last month. Well, if you didn’t count the note that was attached to the suit from his stay at Cas’s apartment. It showed up two days after he stormed out of the police station. Hung on the front door in a white dry-cleaning bag. When Dean put the suit in his closet the note fell out the bag. He ripped it to shreds and flushed it down the toilet without reading it. There was nothing he possibly could say that would make Dean forgive him.</p><p>Dean shoves the phone back in his pocket without looking, “Adam, I couldn’t forget about you if I wanted to. There’s no one in my life as important to me as you and Sammy. You’re my brother, I love you buddy.”</p><p>“Well, you better tell him that!” Adam gestures at Dean’s coat pocket.</p><p>“What are you talking about?”</p><p>Adam looks away, “Nothing, never mind.”</p><p>“No, it's not nothing. What aren’t you telling me?” An alarm bell is going off in the back of Dean’s mind.</p><p>“I’m not supposed to say anything.”</p><p>Pamela stands up, “Okay, were going to end the session now. Adam you and Dean stay right there. We’re going to talk about this immediately, and do you know why that is?”</p><p>Adam pouts, “We don’t keep secrets from family.”</p><p>“Because?”</p><p>He huffs out a breath, “Because secrets are a catalyst of addiction.”</p><p>She nods in agreement, “Everyone, thank you for coming in tonight. Greg and Cole, you’ve both earned some free time. Why don’t you two head to the common room? I’ll let your floor leaders know.”</p><p>She ushers everyone out the door following them out to the hall, while Adam pouts like a stubborn toddler, Dean wracks his brain trying to figure out whatever the hell it was Adam was talking about.</p><p>The clock ticks loudly, the air conditioner kicks on, both men glare silently at the floor.</p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>Dr. Barnes returns a few minutes later and shuts the door with a soft click. She lets out a shaky breath and turns to them. Her dark eyes crackle with electricity but her expression remains neutral. Dean can see she’s royally pissed, but she’s doing her best to be professional and going to reign it in.</p><p>“Now, first off I am going to say that you both know this kind of interaction is not healthy or beneficial to our group. Adam, you know we don’t keep secrets, but also your attitude is disrespectful to your brother, your fellow residents, and to me. And Dean, Adam is not feeling like he’s being heard. You need to stay engaged and hear his words, as well as the meaning behind them.”</p><p>Both men lower their heads in shame.</p><p>“Sorry Dr. B” Adam, always quick to apologize, pipes up first.</p><p>Dean nods, “I’m sorry, I will do better.”</p><p>“Good, thank you both for acknowledging your mistakes. Adam, I think you need to tell Dean who came to see you.”</p><p>Dean’s heart begins to pound, it had to be Whickham’s lawyer. They were so fucked...</p><p>“But he asked me not to tell Dean.” Adam protests.</p><p>“Adam...” Pamela lets out a warning tone.</p><p>“Ugh fine! Mr. Darcy came to see me.”</p><p>Dean’s brain explodes in a mass of questions. He fucking did what?! When did he visit? Why did he even talk to Adam? “Cas was here?”</p><p>Adam nods, “He visited a few days after I arrived.”</p><p>A light bulb goes off in his mind, “He was the one to tell you about Whickham’s trial.”</p><p>“Sort of, he told me a bunch of legal junk, like due process and stuff.”</p><p>“So, he said you had to testify?” He was going to kick Darcy’s ass. The guy just didn’t know when to quit.</p><p>“No, well not really. I guess I got a little excited about the idea of a big court case and I sort of... volunteered?”</p><p>Dean closes his eyes and exhales through his nose, “Adam, it's not that simple. The case might not even go to trial.”</p><p>“That’s what Mr. Darcy said too, he said it was just my job to get better. And not to worry about the case.”</p><p>Well at least Cas had some sense, and probably knew Adam would jump at the opportunity for a little more attention. But that didn’t explain why he was here in the first place. Adam wouldn’t have even known about the case if Cas hadn't said anything. Meddling son of a bitch.</p><p>“Is that everything then?” Dean asks.</p><p>“Kind of, but he asked me not to say anything.” Adam looks between Dean and Dr. Barnes, begging for permission to be done.</p><p>“Adam, it was keeping secrets from your brother that sparked your addiction. You need to tell Dean.” Pamela’s thankfully not budging.</p><p>He sighs heavily, “Okay, but you can't say anything. He made me promise.”</p><p>Goddamnit... this was getting ridiculous.</p><p>“Adam, I won't say anything. I haven't talked to Darcy in weeks.”</p><p>He looks warily at Dean for confirmation, but he must decide that he’s telling the truth.</p><p>“Mr. Darcy said in addition to my treatment he was going to make a donation to JRC in our name. Like as a thank you or something.”</p><p>Dean looks at Dr. Barnes, “Is that true?”</p><p>She blinks in confusion, “I’m not sure.”</p><p>“Well did he make the donation or not?” Dean’s hands begin to shake at his sides, he grips the edge of the chair tightly.</p><p>“Yes, I mean, we did receive a sizeable donation from the Bennet family, I just assumed it was from you.”</p><p>Dean shakes his head, “I can barely afford to pay for Adam’s medical bills, let alone make a donation to a place like this.”</p><p>“Mr. Darcy is taking care of it.” Adam pipes up.</p><p>“What are you talking about Adam? Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen are covering your treatment till I can pay them back.”</p><p>Adam rolls his eyes, “Nuh uh! Darcy said he talked to Uncle Bobby and he was going to be one paying it. He said it was his responsibility, and he kept apologizing to me for some reason. But he thought you’d have a problem with it, so he asked me not to tell.”</p><p>That doesn’t make any sense! Why would Castiel cover Adam’s treatment? He had no reason to even care about them anymore. Unless he felt guilty about everything Dean had said at the police station; he had basically blamed Cas for not getting Adam out of harm's way. But he hadn't! He knew Adam had been with Alastair for who knows how long, and he said nothing!</p><p>Dean looks back at Pamela and she balks under his hard gaze, “I’m not privileged to who pays for treatment. All I know is that Adam’s term was paid for, in full; and there was a supplementary amount should he need to... extend his stay.”</p><p>Extend his stay, like it was a goddamn hotel. But Dean bites his tongue. One problem at a time.</p><p>“I need to get to the bottom of this.”</p><p>Adam jumps up from his chair, “You can't talk to Mr. Darcy, he made me promise! What if he takes back the money?”</p><p>Dean knew Cas wouldn’t do that, but what he didn’t know was why Bobby hadn't told Dean either. And he was going to find out in a hurry.</p><p>“Adam, I won't say anything. Cas is right, it's your job to get better. It’s my job to figure out what’s going on. I’m just going to talk to Uncle Bobby about it.”</p><p>His brother flounces back into the chair, “Don’t get me in trouble Dean.”</p><p>He grits his teeth, Adam’s the only one who got himself in trouble. He’d been really quick to forget that fact. Hands fisted at his sides; Dean starts to rise out his chair.</p><p>“I think it’s time for Adam to get back to his floor, it’s almost time for movie night.” Pamela cuts the tension between them with a machete.</p><p>“Can I have free time too?” He looks up at Dr. Barnes expectantly. Dean can see the frown line between her brows deepen for just a second, then it's gone.</p><p>“Yes, you did some great sharing today, go head down to the common room. Dean, I'll walk you out.”</p><p>The two men rise and look awkwardly at each other. Tonight, had been a strange one, Dean wasn’t sure what he was going to do next, but at least he knew where to start.</p><p>“Take care of yourself kid, I'll see you next week okay?”</p><p>Adam wipes a hand across his nose, “Yeah I'll see ya.”</p><p>The three of them walk out the door, Adam turning left to the common room, Dean and Pamela go right towards the exit. They walk silently for a bit, Dean’s not sure if she wanted to talk to him or just wanted to be sure he didn’t go back and beat Adam up.</p><p>She swipes her key card, and it unlocks a set of interior doors. They enter a long hallway lined with photos of patients. Most are smiling faces, shown to be thriving in recovery. There a few memorial photos mixed in, showing that sometimes addiction is a battlefield that some people don’t walk away from.</p><p>It tugs at Dean’s heart to think Adam could be up on that wall one day, he hopes it will be in a recovery photo. But dreads that it could be the latter. He buries those fears down deep, Adam was going to be fine. He had to be fine.</p><p>“Dean, Adam is doing very well in the program.” Dr. Barnes comments, she must have sensed where his thoughts were going.</p><p>“I’m detecting a but here, Dr. B.”</p><p>“However,” She smiles, “without strict discipline he will relapse. Adam’s personality requires constant reassurance. He is seeking approval from anyone who will give it to him.”</p><p>Most likely the reason he was drawn to a man like Whickham in the first place.</p><p>Pamela continues, “From what he’s told me, I know your relationship is a volatile one. You don’t have to get into it with me, but I think for both of your sakes, it would be better for Adam to not move back home with you.”</p><p>“You just said he needed a strict environment. Isn't living at home with his brothers the best thing?”</p><p>“In some cases, yes, but in yours I think it will be the opposite. His desire to independence coupled with yours to take care of him is a recipe for disaster. We have some housing programs that benefit young men in his situation. I mentioned it to Adam, and he sounded interested but wanted to talk to you first.”</p><p>They stop at another set of doors; this one doesn’t have a card reader but a big metal bar across the center of the door. There’s a tempered glass window with a security guard behind it; he nods to them and there’s a loud buzzing. The door unlocks and they step through to the lobby.</p><p>This room is where visitors wait to be let in, patients... residents don’t see past those doors till they’re on their way back out into the world. It’s empty at this time of night, but for a receptionist/guard. They're a 24-hour center so people can check in for treatment at any time. Pamela turns to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Dean, it will be a challenge to find him the right sponsor once he’s out of here. I’m already working on that with another colleague. But I can tell you for certain you are not the right person to help Adam with that. You need to be his brother and friend now, your time as his parent needs to come to an end. Or you’ll both end up damaging your relationship further.”</p><p>He shakes his head; she couldn’t know what it was like. What she was asking him to do... his father begged him, on his deathbed to take care of Adam. And he told him he was proud of him, for always watching out for the family.</p><p>Dean had always done everything his father asked of him, gave him everything he had.</p><p>Now she was asking him to throw all that away. He couldn’t, he needed to take care of them. Needed to keep them together. But what if she was right? What if he was pushing Adam in a way that wasn’t going to help him. The doctor at the hospital said if Adam relapsed, he may not recover.</p><p>Was Deal willing to take that chance?</p><p>He huffs out a breath, “That’s a lot to think about, is it okay if I don’t get back to you right away?”</p><p>“Of course, Dean, there’s still time to decide. We just all need to come to that decision together.”</p><p>“Thanks Dr. B, for everything you’re doing.” His eyes sting, he was so goddamn tired of decisions and being strong for people.</p><p>“Don't thank me yet, we have a lot of work to do.”</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>He heads out to the parking lot; the summer sun still blazing in the sky. Jumping in the car and revving the engine he grabs his phone to check who’s had been trying to reach him.</p><p>
  <strong>1 missed call</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>2 messages</strong>
</p><p>Sam’s text brought a smile to his face.</p><p>
  <strong>Hey, I know you’re in with Adam, just wanted to tell you I picked up pizza for when you're done.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>On cue his stomach growls, Sammy was a lifesaver sometimes.</p><p>
  <strong>Thanks – Heading home now.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>Becky’s message however soured his mood.</p><p>
  <strong>Dean – where are you? It's been like a week, why won't you answer the phone?!?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>Ugh, Becky was like a bad penny, she kept turning up even when he thought she was long gone. After Adam landed in the hospital, he managed to put off seeing her for a few weeks, claiming the need for time with family. By some miracle, she had understood. She gave him space, till somehow, she found out Adam was settled at JRC.</p><p>After that she wouldn't take no for an answer. By that time, he had almost made it a whole month away from her. After everything that, almost, happened with Cas he just couldn’t bring himself to put up with the fake boyfriend deal anymore. It had always felt wrong, but now it felt like he was betraying something by being with her. He couldn’t explain it, but he was doing his best to avoid her at all costs.</p><p>When he did have to see her, he pulled every excuse he could think of show up late or leave early. He gave in to her for sex, but he never finished anymore. He just laid there unfeeling while she writhed on top of him. She had to know something was different, when she thought he wasn’t looking he caught her staring at him, and it wasn’t with love in her eyes.</p><p>Last week when he came out of the bathroom she was snooping through his phone. That resulted in a fight that got them kicked out of the hotel, permanently. He left her standing in the parking lot, confident it would be the last time he heard from her. Till she showed up at his house the next day with a pie and an apology, thankfully Sam wasn’t home at the time.</p><p>He accepted the pie but told her he wanted a break. Things were too complicated, and he wanted out. She stormed out of the house, telling him it was over when she said it was over. He had since ignored every call and text she sent, and it was apparently working.</p><p>It wouldn’t last forever, and he was still a little worried about the bank despite how close he was to catching up. But he’d dealt with her craziness all year, if she showed up again, he’d deal with that too.</p><p>Pulling in the driveway of home he takes a deep breath before getting out of the car. Pamela may have had a point; he and Adam together were worse than fire and gasoline. Even with Sam around as a mediator it still wouldn't be easy. Adam was over 18, and if it had been a normal year, he would have been thinking about moving out on his own. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He wasn’t giving up on his brother, if this was what Adam needed to stay sober then Dean would come to terms with letting him do it.</p><p>He walks into the house, the aroma of red sauce, pepperoni, and herbs steamrolls right over him. It was crazy how just the act of coming home made him feel instantly better. His shoulders relaxed, his jaw unclenched, all the tension from the last few hours melted away.</p><p>There was no place he’d rather be than right here.</p><p>He toes off his sneakers and calls out to his brother, “I’m home, tell me you saved me a piece!”</p><p>Stepping into the kitchen, Sammy is at the table with a beer and an open pizza box in front of him. Its already half gone, and he’s got a slice hanging out of his open mouth. Typical...</p><p>“Dude! If you tell me there’s pizza you gotta make sure I get to have some.”</p><p>Sam bites down, cheese melting off the slice, “Yours is in the oven.”</p><p>Dean snorts at the sight of Sammy and his rapidly disintegrating pizza, going to the fridge he grabs his own beer and pops the top. Taking a swig, he checks the oven to find his own pizza box keeping warm on the rack.</p><p>He sets the beer on the table and grabs the box carefully with his hands, its warm enough that he yelps a little and tosses it on the table. Jostling Sam’s beer in the process.</p><p>“Hey, watch it!”</p><p>“It’s fine, scooch over. I am starving!”</p><p>“You’re a little late getting back, sorry I didn’t wait for you.” Sam frowns a little.</p><p>Dean shakes his head and flips open the box, pepperoni, bacon, red onion, and green pepper. He takes a long sniff and sighs. “No worries Sammy, Dr. B wanted to have a little private convo with me after the group left.”</p><p>He waggles his brows suggestively and takes an obnoxiously large bite of pizza. Not yet wanting to tell Sam the real reason he stayed late. If Adam knew he broke his promise about the money he’d never hear the end of it. Plus, Sam was also still a little ticked off about Castiel and the surveillance. Dean needed to talk to Bobby get to the bottom of what really happened. If Adam got the whole witness for the prosecution thing wrong, maybe he got this wrong too.</p><p>“Yeah right, what did she really want?”</p><p>Dean finishes chewing, “She wanted to talk about Adam’s living arrangements after his treatment is over.”</p><p>Sam sets down his beer, “Living arrangements? As in, not living here?”</p><p>He nods and takes another bite, “Yeah it sounded interesting. There’s some housing affiliated with JRC that helps guys get on their feet.”</p><p>“Like a halfway house?”</p><p>Dean hadn't considered that, but really, it's kind of what it was.</p><p>“I guess so, but she didn’t call it that. She just said it would foster independence in him, while still being around people who are going through the same thing as him.”</p><p>Sam chews thoughtfully for a few minutes; Dean still wasn’t sold on the idea, but he knew if he didn’t seem neutral to Sam the whole thing could implode before it even got off the ground. He holds his breath and braces for a million hard questions.</p><p>“What did Adam have to say about it?”</p><p>Dean lets out a little sigh of relief, “Well it sounded like he was for it, but we’ll all need to talk about it.”</p><p>Sam nods and they sip their beers. The windows are open, in the twilight crickets chirp their evening song and a breeze rustles the trees in the side yard.</p><p>“So, let’s talk about it.” Sam smiles</p><p>Dean smiles back, “Let’s talk about it.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel buries his head under the covers just as his bedroom door creaks open. He shuts his eyes against the quiet pad of feet walking to his bedside. The mattress dips as he tries to regulate his breath, hoping to feign sleep a little longer.</p>
<p>“I know you’re awake,” Eileen mutters, “scooch over.”</p>
<p>“I’m not really in the mood for company right now,” Castiel grumbles from somewhere in the blankets.</p>
<p>“You’re never in the mood for company,” she toes off her shoes and slips in beside him, “I was getting worried, you haven’t been returning my calls.”</p>
<p>“I’ve been busy, work is... a lot right now.” He hopes the lie sounds plausible coming from beneath his pillow.</p>
<p>“I called the office too, Alfie said you took time off.”</p>
<p>Oh good, now he had to fire Alfie...</p>
<p>“How did you even get in here?” He sits up indignantly.</p>
<p>“Doorman let me up,” she smiles feistily her teeth gleaming in the light from the hall.</p>
<p>He was going to fire Tony too! Damn it he was entitled to his privacy. He drags his hands through his hair, sticking it up in unruly spikes.</p>
<p>So what if he took some time off. He’d been buried in work, plus the case against Alastair was ramping up. The DA was closing the cage door a little bit more every week.</p>
<p>“I’m fine, I just needed a break is all.”</p>
<p>Her cheeky grin softens as she rubs a hand down his arm.</p>
<p>“Castiel, it’s been over a month, don’t you think you should try to talk to him?”</p>
<p>Cas opens his mouth and immediately closes it, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p>
<p>“You could at least try calling.”</p>
<p>He flops back down and buries himself under the covers, “we’re not having this conversation.”</p>
<p>She pulls the blanket back, “because you’re being stubborn.”</p>
<p>“I am not!” He huffs and pulls it back over his head.</p>
<p>Eileen tries to wrestle the blankets away but Cas grips them tight in his fist.</p>
<p>“Cas I know breakups are hard, come on, talk to me.”</p>
<p>“It’s not a break up, we weren’t even together.”</p>
<p>“Then why are you acting this way?” She gets one corner loose and yanks it out from his grip.</p>
<p>“Because!” He pants, forfeiting their tug of war, he sits up again.</p>
<p>She drops the coverlet, “because...”</p>
<p>He takes a shaky breath, he didn’t even want to admit to himself much less Eileen what was swirling around inside his head. Hurt, anger, guilt, longing... none of those words came close to how he felt.</p>
<p>“Because I hurt him Eileen, and I have to accept that he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”</p>
<p>“Oh honey, you can’t know what he wants.”</p>
<p>“You weren’t there, you didn’t see his face.”</p>
<p>Shame claws at his chest, digging it’s razor sharp nails into his already wounded heart. Dean looked at him like he’d been the one to fill Adam full of pills and toss his body out onto the pavement like a discarded candy wrapper. Those green eyes shattered with grief and regret; Castiel knew he needed to carry that burden of responsibility a little longer.</p>
<p>“I still think you should try to call him, he’s probably cooled down by now.”</p>
<p>“I don’t have his number.”</p>
<p>That wasn’t exactly true; Arthur had it in his phone, from when Dean called him at the hospital. But there was no way in hell he was going to ask him for it.</p>
<p>She frowns, “Well that’s inconvenient. Alright we’ll think of something. In the meantime you need to get dressed.”</p>
<p>She stands up and tugs him to the end of the bed.</p>
<p>“Eileen, I love you but I just want to go back to sleep. Please go away.”</p>
<p>“Aww you’re sweet, but no.”</p>
<p>He rolls his eyes, “why not?”</p>
<p>“Well for one it’s the middle of the day, and if you don’t get up now we’re going to be late.”</p>
<p>He plants his feet on the floor, in a minute he was just going to throw her out. Propriety be damned.</p>
<p>“Late for what?” He growls.</p>
<p>“Lunch,” she pauses, “with Claire. It’s Thursday Castiel.”</p>
<p>He blinks rapidly, running through his mental calendar. It <em>was</em> Thursday, and he had agreed weeks ago to lunch with the two of them. He wipes a hand over his face, that was just perfect.</p>
<p>He lets out a resigned sigh, “I guess I’ll go get in the shower.”</p>
<p>“Wonderful, I’m going to make a couple calls.”</p>
<p>She stands, puts her ridiculously pink Louboutin sandals back on, and saunters out of the room. He sits another minute on the edge of the bed. Eileen was wrong, he knew exactly how Dean felt. And while Castiel was going to do his best to stay away as Dean had asked, he wasn’t going to completely let go either.</p>
<p>Castiel knew his status afforded him access to thing a regular person wouldn’t have. He shouldn’t have been able to get updates on Adam’s condition, but he still spoke with the head of the ICU anytime there was a change.</p>
<p>He knew when Adam was discharged, and where he’d been transferred to. Jericho Rehbilitation Center was one of the best facilities in New York State. He was glad to hear Adam had gotten into such a good program. Dr. Barnes work with addiction and family counseling would do wonders for him, if he was willing to put in the work to recovery.</p>
<p>It was almost the one of the most expensive programs, even with health insurance it would cost Dean a small fortune to cover it. The comment he made about losing his home troubled Castiel enough that he felt compelled to reach out to Dean’s uncle.</p>
<p>His conversation with Mr. Gardiner had been... interesting to say the least.</p>
<p>A voice, more gruff than his own, berated him for close to 20 minutes on the virtues of hard work, family, and duty. Castiel surmised that Bobby and Ellen loved Dean like a son and didn’t see this debt as a burden to themselves. He and his wife saw it as a way to help save Dean, a life preserver tossed out to him on a stormy sea. When Castiel offered to pay for the treatment himself, at first Bobby called him a idiot and tried to hang up the phone.</p>
<p>“An idjit. He called me an idjit.” Castiel whispers aloud to the empty bedroom, smiling at the term.</p>
<p>Castiel couldn’t recall a time where he’d been scolded for doing someone a favor, but Bobby Gardiner certainly made him feel like he was being reprimanded for something. But once he explained the situation and the need to make amends Bobby understood.</p>
<p>He also agreed to keep that information from ever getting back to his nephew. His pride would surely never recover if he found out Castiel intervened.</p>
<p>Even if Dean never knew about any of it, Castiel was going to make it right. He owed Dean that much.</p>
<p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p>They sit under a bright blue umbrella shielding them from the hot summer sun sipping on lemonade and sparkling water. Their meal long finished, Claire and Eileen gossip about Anna’s latest paramour, and the inevitable drama that followed. While Castiel does his best to look annoyed with the pair of them.</p>
<p>Eileen’s eyes twinkle behind her dark glasses, “No, Anna was completely bored with California after like a month, which is typical.”</p>
<p>Claire rolls her eyes and sips at her lemonade, the breeze from the outdoor patio teasing her long blonde hair.</p>
<p>“So, she bails on me, right? Takes off to Europe right after Christmas. There she met an heir to a very profitable winery in Italy.”</p>
<p>“How convenient for her. She’s probably been burning through his credit cards like kindling.” Claire snarks.</p>
<p>“I’m sure she was. But that was until his mother, who’s the real head of the company, got wind of it and promptly kicked the pair of them out of his pied a terre.”</p>
<p>Claire lifts her sunglasses in shock. “No!”</p>
<p>Eileen leans in, “Yes! Anna told me they were both shouting at each other in Italian so fast she can only catch every third word. But apparently Francisco has a wife and four kids back home in Naples!”</p>
<p>Both women fall into a fit of giggles.</p>
<p>Claire hugs herself with laughter, “Anna really stepped in it this time!”</p>
<p>Castiel frowns, this kind of talk was very unseemly, “Claire, you shouldn’t be happy about this. It’s awful.”</p>
<p>“Oh please, Castiel. Anna lives for this kind of thing. She’ll probably spin it that she was the one to tell the mother in the first place.”</p>
<p>“Still, can we please talk about something else?”</p>
<p>She pats his hand like he’s an old maid. He wasn’t a prude; it just wasn’t right to gossip about their own friends.</p>
<p>“What’s going on in your love life Eileen? Break any hearts out in LA?” Claire looks over top of her glasses cheekily at her brother.</p>
<p>Castiel groans, he really needed to find other friends.</p>
<p>Eileen toys with her water glass, avoiding Claire’s questioning gaze, “Nothing’s going on there.” She replies glumly.</p>
<p>“What about that coder, did anything ever happen with him?” Claire asks.</p>
<p>“No, that was over before it even started,” She sighs, “Now that we’re both back from out west, he’s reporting to me directly again.”</p>
<p>Castiel nods, Sam must have elected to stay put after Adam’s hospitalization. That was just as well, Dean was going to need as much support as he could get. It was good to hear Eileen was moving on; she had been inconsolable for weeks after Anna swept her off to California. But after a while, every time Castiel talked with her on the phone, she sounded a little more like herself. The situation with Sam Bennet seemed to have resolved itself with a little bit of space and time apart. A crush, just like he had thought.</p>
<p>Eileen sniffs loudly, Castiel looks over in time to see a tear roll down her cheek and plop on the white tablecloth. She tries to brush the next one away, but he stops her hand. Reaching up he gently removes her glasses; her eyes are red and brimming with tears.</p>
<p>“Good lord, what’s the matter Eileen?”</p>
<p>“I'm sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me.” she sighs, wiping at the fresh tears with her napkin.</p>
<p>Claire takes her free hand in her own, “Is it about that man? Did something happen?”</p>
<p>Eileen shakes her head, “Nothing’s happened with Sam. I’ve been giving him space since we’ve been back. I only saw him for the first time about a week ago.”</p>
<p>“Did you speak to him?” Castiel asks.</p>
<p>“Briefly; I offered my sympathies regarding his brother, asked after his time in LA. Nothing but small talk really.”</p>
<p>That shouldn’t make her cry like that. Eileen was one of the strongest women he knew, and he admired her resolve and tenaciousness greatly. He couldn’t recall a time, outside his parent's funeral, where he had ever seen her so sad.</p>
<p>“It’s just...,” she sighs heavily, “he spoke to me, but it was like he was talking at me. He wouldn’t even look me in the eyes.”</p>
<p>Maybe Dean wasn’t the only Bennet sibling to hold a grudge. Despite what he had told Dean, Castiel’s doubts about Sam’s intentions had seemed meaningless the more he talked to Eileen about them. He never once mentioned the promotion to her, talked about advancing, or her position with the company.</p>
<p>“I'm sure you’re reading too much into the interaction.” Castiel says offhandedly, earning a scowl from his younger sister.</p>
<p>“Maybe he was just having a bad day.” Claire offers sympathetically.</p>
<p>Eileen shakes her head, “Sam’s not like that, he has the most affable disposition of anyone I've ever met. Castiel, you called him golden retriever remember?”</p>
<p>His own words regarding Sam ring like a bell in his head. Was it possible that he’d been wrong about Sam and Eileen? Perhaps he’d been too quick to judge a relationship he knew so little about.</p>
<p>“You really care for him, don’t you?” He asks her.</p>
<p>She nods and a fresh crop of tears spring up, “I really screwed this whole thing up didn’t I?</p>
<p>No, he screwed it up. He meddled into her personal life out of fear for her soft heart. And here it was still broken months later. Was he as cold and unfeeling as Dean made him out to be? Could he not see happiness in others when he was so unhappy himself?</p>
<p>“Eileen, I don’t think you screwed it up. I think if you talk to Sam you may find he’s just as miserable as you are.”</p>
<p>“No, you and Anna were right, it will never work. Our worlds are too different, aren’t they?” She stares at him with hope in her eyes, begging him to be wrong for once.</p>
<p>He had truly done her a disservice by being so damn afraid. How many people would he hurt by letting that fear of falling keep him on the ground? He needed to set the record straight.</p>
<p>He takes her other hand; she looks between him and Claire and her lip trembles.</p>
<p>“Eileen, I think our worlds may be different, but if we don’t open our hearts to the possibility of something new, we’ll be stuck in them forever. And we’ll end up alone.”</p>
<p>If only he had let Dean into his world a little bit sooner, maybe things could have been different.</p>
<p>“But you said it was just a crush, for both of us. It wasn’t real.” She looks down at her lap as the tears threaten to fall again.</p>
<p>“Look at me, I saw you together. I know he cares for you.”</p>
<p>She looks up a little defiant now, “What if you’re wrong?”</p>
<p>He wipes a tear way with a knuckle, “At least you would know where you stood. Isn't that better than not knowing? But for the record I don’t think I’m wrong.”</p>
<p>She laughs coolly, “Claire your brother is a cocky bastard, you know that?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Claire laughs with a little sigh, “I’m aware. He’s is right about this though. You should talk to Sam. If you’re this upset, you deserve to know if he feels the same way. And if he doesn’t, then forget him. We’ll go shopping and have a spa day.”</p>
<p>“Just don’t cut your bangs.” Castiel interjects and earns a loud laugh from both women, and a few annoyed looks from the other tables.</p>
<p>“Alright my loves, I have to get back to work.” Eileen stands and hugs Claire.</p>
<p>Turning to Cas she hugs him tightly and hands him a folded sheet of his own stationery.</p>
<p>“Here, this is for you.”</p>
<p>He unfolds the paper in confusion, “What is it?”</p>
<p>“Dean Bennet’s phone number.” She grins, tucking her tongue in her cheek, her earlier sadness a distant memory.</p>
<p>His eyes scan the paper rapidly, it’s all there. Dean’s phone number and address jumping off the page.</p>
<p>“How? Where?” He stammers.</p>
<p>“He’s Sam’s emergency contact.”</p>
<p>Cas swallows a hard lump in his throat, could it really be that easy? Could he just call Dean, and start the painstaking process of mending the scraps of their fragile bond?</p>
<p>“I don’t think I can do this...” he mumbles.</p>
<p>Eileen rests her hands on his face, “Look at me, I saw you together. I know he cares for you.”</p>
<p>He smiles at his own words tossed lovingly back in his face.</p>
<p>Glancing down at the paper again, Castiel’s eyes land on the address. His breath catches in his throat.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Winchester street...</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>The dump I live in... I will probably lose in the next few months...</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>“Holy Shit...” Castiel exhales.</p>
<p>“Castiel!” Claire exclaims.</p>
<p>He looks around bewildered at the two women, feet already starting stumble away.</p>
<p>“Honey are you okay?” Eileen reaches toward him.</p>
<p>“My apologies, I uh...have to go. Right now. Excuse me.”</p>
<p>He rushes out of the restaurant, pushing past waitstaff and patrons in his wake.</p>
<p>Claire turns to Eileen with a huge smile on her face, “I guess he can do it after all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Traffic to Gabriel’s office moves at a snail’s pace. Castiel looks impatiently out the window as the cars inch by. He tries Gabe’s phone again, but there’s no answer.</p>
<p>“If you see an opening Arthur, take it.” He growls out.</p>
<p>“Already looking sir.” His driver replies.</p>
<p>He hunches back down into the seat. How, how could he have missed this? For months, it's been staring him in the face every time he pulled up another one of Becky’s inconsistent files.</p>
<p>Dean’s name and address, right there in black and white, he’d been so focused on finding out what she’d been up to he never even noticed it.</p>
<p>He goes over the case files again in his head; the company De Bourg was representing had been buying up property in the surrounding area for years. They were a large land developer and wanted to put up a shopping center smack in the middle of that neighborhood. It was a less than desirable area, no new houses had been built in several years, and the local school closed when they combined with a larger one across town. Not ideal for a retail environment, but certainly better than a new residential development.</p>
<p>The houses on Winchester street had been the last to be bought, a poor move on the part of the developer because they had been butted right up next to where they wanted to break ground. But it didn’t seem like it was for lack of trying. Numerous offers had been made, and one by one the houses sold. The last shortly before he met Dean and his brothers last year.</p>
<p>He falls back on the seat as the car lunges ahead only to be flung forward as Arthur slams on the breaks.</p>
<p>“Apologies sir!” He calls from the front seat.</p>
<p>Glancing down at his watch he taps a finger rapidly on his knee. At this rate they wouldn't make it there before Gabe left for the day. The car comes to a dead stop again, looking out the window he sees they aren't too far from the office.</p>
<p>“Arthur, meet me there when you can. I’m going to walk from here.” He unbuckles and opens the door to a barrage of honking and shouting voices.</p>
<p>“Very good sir.”</p>
<p>Stepping out he can see the accident causing the delay, two cars collided turning a corner. Both drivers are out yelling obscenities as a traffic cop tries to keep them for beating the hell out of each other. He taps on the driver side window and Arthur rolls it down.</p>
<p>“You’d be best to try and get over to 38th and come from the other side, you’ll be stuck here all day.”</p>
<p>Arthur nods and rolls the window back up. Castiel jogs in front of the car and weaves through the other vehicles till he makes it to the sidewalk.</p>
<p>He treks the three blocks down to Gabe’s offices. One impatient elevator ride later he stands in the lobby waiting for Gabe’s assistant to fetch him from a meeting.</p>
<p>The receptionist calls over to him, “Mr. Darcy would you like to wait in Mr. Fitzwilliam's office?”</p>
<p>He considers for a moment, and then a thought crosses his mind.</p>
<p>“Is Becky Collins in the office today?”</p>
<p>“She had a midday appointment but should be back by 3:00 Mr. Darcy.” The receptionist glances at her calendar and then back up at him. Her eyes ripe with confusion behind her glasses.</p>
<p>It was barely 2:00 now, perfect. By the time he was done with Gabe she’d be back. Then they’d get down to the bottom of this mess.</p>
<p>“Darcy, what’s going on? I was in the middle of a meeting!” Gabriel has stomped up behind him.</p>
<p>Castiel turns to him, his expression must be a fierce one because he can see Gabe flinch.</p>
<p>“Let's go talk in your office,” he turns back to the woman at the desk, who own face mirrors the concern on Gabriel’s, “When Ms. Collins comes back send her right down, understand?”</p>
<p>She nods rapidly, “Yes sir Mr. Darcy.”</p>
<p>He follows Gabe down the hall to his office, closing the door behind him he turns to see the other man pulling a few strands of licorice out of a glass jar on his desk. Gabe kept candy in his office the way some businessmen kept alcohol. It was a vice to be sure, but one Castiel didn’t fault him too badly on.</p>
<p>He offers a strand to Darcy, while taking a bite out of the other, “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”</p>
<p>Cas holds up a hand to decline, sweets had never been his thing, “I learned something very interesting today.”</p>
<p>“And it warranted an in-person trip? Darcy you could have called me.”</p>
<p>“I did, you didn’t answer your phone.”</p>
<p>Gabe pulls out his phone with his free hand, eyes bugging out at the display. “You called me four times! Do you need a lawyer that badly?”</p>
<p>Castiel shakes his head, he needed to lay this out very carefully. What he learned today, coupled with the suspicions he had over the last few months would mean a world of trouble for Gabriel and his team. He knew Gabe wasn’t involved directly, but he still didn’t think the news would be welcome.</p>
<p>“Can we sit down?” Cas gestures to the two chairs on the visitor's side of the desk.</p>
<p>Gabe promptly sits and Castiel follows.</p>
<p>“We need to talk about Becky Collins.” He starts, but Gabe holds up a hand in protest.</p>
<p>“This again Cas? I asked her about the files like you said. I think you’re grasping at straws here pal.”</p>
<p>“Gabe, do you remember my friend Dean? You met him here in this building earlier in the year.”</p>
<p>“Sure, sure. Nice guy, quite the looker,” he winks at Castiel, “but what does that have to do with Becky?”</p>
<p>“After you left that day, Becky Collins joined him. She was the one he knew here.”</p>
<p>“Yes, that’s right. I ran into them here a few weeks later,” he explains, “they were having lunch. Is he her boyfriend or something?” Gabe chews on another licorice whip as Castiel blanches at the thought.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what their “relationship” would be called, however I’m surprised to see Dean with her at all seeing as she’s trying to buy out his house.”</p>
<p>Gabe stops mid chew, “I’m sorry what?”</p>
<p>“The property you’re trying to acquire, the last derelict house on Winchester street, is owned by Dean Bennet.”</p>
<p>“She couldn’t know, it has to be a coincidence.” Gabe drops the candy; he looks a little green.</p>
<p>“It’s not, and she would know. She’s been the only one meeting with the sellers. I’ve been trying to get her to set up a meeting remember?”</p>
<p>“Maybe they were having a meeting? It looked like a date though, before I interrupted them.”</p>
<p>“Gabe, Dean confided in me he was afraid he was going to lose his house. And we know Becky has said numerous times the sellers were ready to deal. But it's still not closed.”</p>
<p>He nods absently, “She’s been dragging her feet on it for sure. The client has been calling me daily for updates.”</p>
<p>“And why aren't they calling her for those updates? They’re her client, aren't they?” Cas is trying so hard to make him see there’s a problem.</p>
<p>“They told me she hadn't been returning their calls, and when she did, she had little to no information. I thought it was just clients being picky. All her reports to me were on time, and they all lined up.”</p>
<p>Castiel shakes his head, “But they don’t line up Gabe. If you compare it to the other contracts this one is wildly different.”</p>
<p>“But why, what's so special about this property?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, but I intend to ask her.” Castiel checks his watch, another thirty minutes and she’d be here. Then she could explain to them both, in person, what the hell was going on.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay before we rain down fire and brimstone can we go over what you found?” Gabe lays a hand on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’d be happy to. I don’t have my notes with me, but you have access to all the files I assume.”</p>
<p>Gabe nods, “Yes of course.” He walks around to his side of the desk and boots up his computer. Castiel removes his jacket and hangs it on the other visitor's chair.</p>
<p>Still kicking himself over this oversight he thinks back to all the things he learned reviewing the files. Shortly before thanksgiving the developer wanted to change some terms in the contract. It was highly irregular this late in the juncture but not unheard of. Ms. Collins had them redrafted to their specifications and sent back for approval. That took far longer than it should have. An unfortunately timed illness with the notary, two different courier services lost documents, and the client, who’s signature they needed, took his family on a last-minute trip to the Bahamas for Christmas.</p>
<p>It was as if a black cloud of misfortune followed this whole process around for months.</p>
<p>Then the sellers, Dean and his brothers, negotiated ruthlessly for every penny they could get. Castiel recalls Gabe commenting how Ebenezer Scrooge himself would been impressed by the coins squeezed out of this deal. Which if he really thought about it didn’t sound like Dean at all. His car was several years old, yes it was a classic, but it would have been more economical to drive a more modern one. Castiel had been in their home, it wasn’t lavishly furnished; the normal bachelor luxuries, tv’s, video game systems, etc., all older models. His clothes were not the least bit expensive either. Off the rack styles that you’d see at a shopping mall.</p>
<p>It didn’t make sense, if he had no need for finer things why would ask for so much more than the house was worth? It was well before Adam’s troubles burdened them financially, it was almost as if by asking for so much he was delaying the process. But to what purpose?</p>
<p>“Damn it!’ Gabe bangs a hand on his desk.</p>
<p>“What’s the matter?”</p>
<p>“I can't get into the system.” He frowns and taps repeatedly on the keyboard.</p>
<p>Castiel comes around to his side. Gabe has a few windows open on various case files, but there's a log in screen covering much of the page.</p>
<p>“Did you put your credentials in?”</p>
<p>Gabe shoots him a look that could kill a lesser man, but Castiel doesn’t see it.</p>
<p>“Yes, but when I try to access these files in particular it’s asking for a secondary log in.”</p>
<p>Cas points at the screen, “I see that there. What’s your log in?”</p>
<p>“I used the same one I always have, it’s denying me.”</p>
<p>A series of alarms go off in Castiel’s head, he looks at the screen and back to Gabriel.</p>
<p>“She added another layer of security...”</p>
<p>“No, there would be no need for that. Our server is secure. We spared no expense.”</p>
<p>“Not to protect from the outside, internally. She wanted to keep people out of the files.”</p>
<p>“But why? Cas this makes no sense.”</p>
<p>The door opens at that moment, both men look up to see Becky Collins standing in the doorway. Her head is held high but Castiel can see her chin quiver under their gaze. Now that could be because her boss and the man he reported to were staring at her, but Castiel can almost feel the tension vibrating off of her.</p>
<p>She steps into the room, “You wanted to see me sir?”</p>
<p>Gabe stands slowly, Castiel knew Gabriel was as good natured as they come. He had been a trusted confidant for several years, and if he was truly honest with himself, he may start to consider the man a friend. But he had seen Gabriel in court, when he was in cross examination, he was an apex predator. Once he turned those golden eyes on his prey, all bets were off. He was looking at Ms. Collins that same way now, ready to pounce at a moment's notice.</p>
<p>“Ms. Collins, please have a seat. We need to have a little chat."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy (early) Valentine's day friends! If you didn't notice I updated the final chapter count as we near our conclusion. There will most likely be an epilogue because I'm feeling rather sappy about this one ending.<br/>Thank you so much again for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean stares at a blank screen, coffee steaming at his elbow. Early morning sunlight pouring in the windows, he shifts his ancient laptop to avoid the glare. Chewing on a hangnail thoughtfully, he struggles with where to begin. He’s started this thing half a dozen times. Draft after draft backspaced or deleted altogether. It shouldn’t be this hard to do, he just had to write what he felt.</p>
<p>Maybe that was the problem though, Dean didn’t know what he was feeling. Or more specifically his feelings were conflicted.</p>
<p>On the one hand, he was so humbled that Darcy would step up like he did and cover Adam’s treatment. When he finally spoke with his uncle, Bobby assured him there were no strings attached. Castiel was truly trying to do the right thing.</p>
<p>Adam had been living in the halfway house for about 2 weeks now, under the watchful eyes of the group home’s director. A burly man named Cliff, he enveloped Dean’s hand in his giant paw when they met and assured him, he’d watch out for Adam.</p>
<p>It was better this way; they all agreed, with the mediation of Dr. Barnes, that Adam’s key to successful recovery was independence.</p>
<p>But, on the other hand, they wouldn’t even be in this situation if Cas had only intervened sooner. Dean tried to understand his hesitation, alerting Adam may have allowed Alastair to get away. But with his brother’s life on the line, it was a lot harder to be forgiving.</p>
<p>Last he spoke to the DA, Whickham’s lawyers had finally reached a deal. Five years in prison, his license to practice law revoked, and he was going on the sex offender registry. After the news of his arrest was leaked to the press, several other people came forward, the only difference was most of them still hadn’t turned 18.</p>
<p>Dean had a suspicion that Castiel may have had something to do with that too. But the DA wouldn’t confirm one way or another.</p>
<p>He sighs, turning back to the task at hand. Taking a sip of coffee, he places his fingers over the keys and begins to type.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Dear Castiel,</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam comes barreling in the kitchen at that moment and Dean slams the lid down on his computer.</p>
<p>“Hey! Um... are you going to be here a while?” Sam has his phone clutched in his hand and he’s looking wildly around the room.</p>
<p>Annoyed and embarrassed, Dean scowls, “I was planning on it. Why, what’s up?”</p>
<p>“So, I just got a call, from Eileen.”</p>
<p>Dean raises his brows, that name hasn’t been spoken by Sam in months. He’d been so wrapped up in everything with Adam he never even asked Sam if he’d finally talked to her in LA.</p>
<p>“Really, what did she want?”</p>
<p>“She’s coming over, to the house, she said she wanted to talk to me.”</p>
<p>Guess she made it back to this side of the Mississippi as well, “Did she say what it was about?”</p>
<p>Sam shakes head, “No she just said it was important...maybe I’m going to be fired...”</p>
<p>“Why the hell would you think that? You’ve busted your ass this year.” Dean slams a hand on the table, rattling his coffee cup.</p>
<p>“Well, she came to see me last week. She’s back from Los Angeles.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I gathered as much. Sammy, just because you’re working together again doesn’t mean she won’t be professional.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s not that. I was rude to her; she asked me about Adam, it was no secret the reason I was back in New York, and I blew her off,” Sam slumps down in the empty chair next to Dean, his face a mask of heartbreak, “I don’t even know why I did it. I looked up and she was standing it my doorway, it brought me right back to last fall when she used to come see me all the time.”</p>
<p>He stares at the table for a moment, Dean’s not sure if he’s going to continue. But then he speaks, and it’s just above a whisper, “I just don’t think I can go through it again. I can’t put aside how I feel about her and pretend to be her friend.”</p>
<p>“Sam, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Their world is so different from ours. You’d be fighting to fit in there, every day.”</p>
<p>Sam looks up, his eyes shining, “Their world?”</p>
<p>Dean takes a sudden interest in his coffee cup and stands up for a refill.</p>
<p>“You know, they as in rich people, the 1% Sammy.” His hands tremble as his fills up his cup.</p>
<p>“Dean, what happened that day at the hospital?”</p>
<p>He whirls around, sloshing hot coffee his hand. He curses and sucks a finger in his mouth.</p>
<p>“What day, what do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I mean that first day Adam was admitted. You were gone for hours; then I get a message from some random nurse that you’ll be back. And when you did come, it was like... I don’t know what it was like. I’ve never seen you that upset before.”</p>
<p>“It was nothing, drop it Sam.”</p>
<p>“It didn’t seem like nothing.”</p>
<p>“I said drop it okay! There’s nothing going between me and...” he stops, he almost said Cas. “It was just a rough day. I don’t want to talk about it.”</p>
<p>Sam stands up to his full height, and glares down at Dean. He opens his mouth to most certainly read him the riot act when there’s a loud knock at the front door.</p>
<p>“We’re not finished with this conversation.” He says and turns towards the front door.</p>
<p>Dean can hear him take a deep breath before opening, the small exhale barely audible from the kitchen.<br/>The front door opens, “Hi, oh hello. I um, didn’t know you were bringing... someone.” Sam sounds confused, Dean sets his cup on the counter and starts toward the hall.</p>
<p>“I hope you don’t mind, we were in the area, and I wanted to stop by.” Eileen says breathlessly.</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine, please come in.”</p>
<p>Dean rounds to corner in time to see Eileen, in a pretty summer dress, stepping over the threshold with Castiel close on her heels.</p>
<p>He freezes in the entry way. Eileen looks past Sam and smiles, “Hi Dean, it’s nice to see you.”</p>
<p>Currently devoid of all rational thought, Dean lifts his hand in a little wave. Cas was in his house, after all this time. He was here, right when Dean was getting ready to put into words how he felt. To apologize for all the things he said to him. What the hell was he doing here?</p>
<p>“Hello Dean,” Castiel nods.</p>
<p>“Hi...” he trails off. Full on panic settling in his chest, maybe Sam was right. She was here to fire him, and she brought her damn attorney for good measure.</p>
<p>They all stand in the entryway staring at each other. No one speaks for several moments.</p>
<p>Castiel looks from Sam, to Eileen, and back to Dean, “I’m sensing awkwardness.”</p>
<p>Eileen laughs softly and it's enough to break them all out of the trance.</p>
<p>“You said you wanted to talk to me?” Sam looks down at Eileen expectantly.</p>
<p>“Yes, can we go sit down?” She looks past him down the hall.</p>
<p>Sam gestures around the corner, “Let’s go into the living room.”</p>
<p>Elieen walks ahead and Sam follows, leaving the two men trapped in the hall with each other. Neither one attempting to make eye contact. Dean inspects the the floor for dust bunnies, while Castiel gazes around the entry way.</p>
<p>“Should we go with them?” Dean whispers harshly.</p>
<p>Cas shakes his head, “No, I think they might appreciate the privacy.”</p>
<p>“Do you want some coffee?” This was already the weirdest thing to happen today, might as well go all in. He smiles over at Castiel politely, maybe they could have a little talk of their own. That is if Dean could stop acting like a nervous teenager for five minutes.</p>
<p>“No thank you,” Cas says, and Dean’s face falls a little, “but maybe a glass of water.”</p>
<p>“Sure thing, follow me to the kitchen.” He turns, and peaks over to the living room. Sam is on the sofa, his head bent down, with Eileen sitting on the coffee table in front of him. Their knees touching across the small space. Dean stops, Eileen is already crying, he can see the tears running down her cheeks. He strains to hear their conversation through the open doorway.</p>
<p>“... I’m sorry, about leaving the way I did. It wasn’t the launch, I was running. I thought maybe if we didn’t see each other all the time that I'd get over you. But I didn’t, I thought about you every day. I was so stupid... I hope that, in time you can forgive me. And maybe we could start over? Go to dinner or something?”</p>
<p>Sam takes a deep breath, “Eileen, I don’t want to have dinner with you.”</p>
<p>He pauses, and Dean can see her start to tremble, “What I mean is, I don’t want to just have dinner. I want to be with you, exclusively. And... damn the press, and the bad PR, and the headache it all brings. I think we’ve played it safe long enough don't you?”</p>
<p>Her smile widens with every word, she leaps into his arms. “Yes, absolutely a thousand times yes!”</p>
<p>In the hall Dean is unashamedly pressed up against the doorframe trying to listen. There is a puff of warm air on the back of his neck, he turns and comes face to face with Castiel. He jumps back in surprise.</p>
<p>“Jeez Cas! Personal space.”</p>
<p>“My apologies.” He takes a step back, bumping into the open closet door in the process.</p>
<p>They both stare at one another, Dean can still feel the heat on his neck. He rubs its absently, trying to absorb the sensation deeper into his skin. He should say something; now that Cas is here it’s the perfect opportunity to apologize. If Sam and Eileen can stow their crap and make amends, certainly he and Castiel can.</p>
<p>“Hey! You two can come in here now.” Sam calls from the living room. Dean grits his teeth, great timing as usual Sammy.</p>
<p>They come around the corner to the sight of Sam and Eileen wrapped around each other, smiling like fools.</p>
<p>“Please get off of my sofa, I just had it cleaned.” Dean jokingly scolds, but then he pulls Eileen into a warm hug. Turning around he sees Cas frown briefly before he recovers and smiles wide.</p>
<p>“Congratulations you two.” He hugs Eileen and then shakes Sam’s hand firmly. “I hope you bring each other nothing but happiness.”</p>
<p>He turns and brushes past him to leave but Dean grabs his arm.</p>
<p>“Hey, can I talk to you a second?”</p>
<p>They step back out int the hall, Castiel looks past him to where Sam and Eileen have fallen back into each other’s embrace. Something deeper than sadness passes over his face, but he tucks it away back under that mask Dean is so accustomed to seeing.</p>
<p>“Thank you for bringing her here Cas.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t do anything...” he sighs, “I am sorry I stood in their way, before.” His eyes tear away from the happy couple back to Dean’s.</p>
<p>Dean shakes his head, “I understand why, she’s family.”</p>
<p>“Yes, she is,” he takes a deep breath, “How are you Dean?”</p>
<p>Dean blinks at the question, huffing out a little sarcastic laugh, “Oh I’m great. Just peachy...”</p>
<p>Castiel squints at him, titling his head to the side. He looks like he’s about to dispute that fact but instead he straightens up.</p>
<p>“It was nice to see you, but I should be going. Goodbye Dean.”</p>
<p>Wait he’s leaving already? Dean didn’t even get the chance to talk to him.</p>
<p>Cas heads over to the door, opening it silently he turns back to Dean a final time.</p>
<p>“Bye Cas.”</p>
<p>He shuts the door glumly behind him, wishing he were as brave as his brother. Willing to put it all on the line for the person he loves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s been listening to music in his room for over two hours, headphones turned up to an ear-splitting volume. Trying to drown out the sounds of Sam and Eileen’s reunion on the couch. Sometime later, about halfway through his third Led Zeppelin album, he hears a car pull up. Peeking out the stairwell he can see Sam sneak one last kiss goodbye before Eileen slinks out of the house.</p>
<p>Dean tiptoes down the stairs later in his stocking feet. Sam’s in the kitchen drinking a glass of water at the sink.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Dean snickers as Sam jumps about a mile, “are we gonna have to have the talk?”</p>
<p>“Shut up, Dean.” Sam drains his glass and set it in the sink.</p>
<p>“Dude, dishwasher.” Dean points in disgust.</p>
<p>Sam rolls his eyes and pops the glass in the top rack.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he nods, “but seriously, are you good? That was a lot of emotional upheaval today.”</p>
<p>“Yeah Dean, I’m good. I’m really good.” Sam smile spread across his whole face, and Dean can't help but feel a pang of envy. But he pushes it away, it's not about him.</p>
<p>“Well then what are you drinking water for? This calls for a celebratory toast.”</p>
<p>He walks over to their modest liquor cabinet in the cupboard over the fridge and takes down a bottle of Jameson. Pulling two fresh glasses from the draining board he pours them both a finger of Irish and hands one to Sam.</p>
<p>“To you and Eileen, may you bring each other love, and laughter, and a happily ever after.”</p>
<p>They clink their glasses, but Sam only smiles into his drink while Dean sips at the strong whiskey.</p>
<p>“What gives Sammy?”</p>
<p>He swirls the amber liquid in his cup, “What about you Dean?”</p>
<p>Dean sneers at the question, “What about me?”</p>
<p>“When are you going to get your happy ending?”</p>
<p>Dean stops with the glass raised up to his lips. Where was this coming from?</p>
<p>“I am happy.” He takes a sip, the lie and the whiskey burning all the way down.</p>
<p>“Dean, I see what you’re going through and you’re not.”</p>
<p>“Wow okay, so you’ve been happy all of what six hours and you’re going to lecture me on my love life now?”</p>
<p>Sam draws back against his bitter words, “That’s not fair Dean.”</p>
<p>He shakes his head, “No, what’s not fair is I can't even thank Cas because he can barely look me in the eye or stay within five feet of me for more than a minute!”</p>
<p>“Thank him? Thank him for what Dean?”</p>
<p>Shit, he had to go and open his big mouth. He drains the rest of his whiskey, might as well get good and drunk so he can lay it all out for Sam. He braces his hands on the table, steeling himself for the fight that's about to happen.</p>
<p>“Cas paid for Adam’s rehab.”</p>
<p>Sam’s face runs the gamut of expressions, shock, confusion, anger. He settles on shock again and knocks his own drink back. Sucking in a quick breath he sets the glass on the counter, “Why did he do that, and why did you let him?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t let him do anything, I found out well after the fact. I talked to Bobby, and it's not a scam or a bribe. He really just wanted to take care of it, for us.”</p>
<p>“And why haven't you kicked his ass for it yet?”</p>
<p>Dean laughs, his brother knew him all too well, “Because, I’m okay with it.”</p>
<p>“Seriously? You’re okay with someone else paying for something?” Sam shakes his head and laughs.</p>
<p>“At first, yeah, my pride was kind of hurt. But that’s the thing about Cas, the money isn't what’s important. It’s how he shows he cares.”</p>
<p>Woah, Dr. Phil. Where did that come from? Up until now Dean hadn't totally come to grips with the reality of what Cas had done. He wanted to help them, he cared about them. He cared about Dean...maybe.</p>
<p>“Okay but then why hide it? If wanted to show he cared, wouldn’t it be better to tell us?”</p>
<p>Sam sort of had a point, but no, Castiel wasn’t doing any of this for praise. He was doing it to make amends. Which Sam didn’t need to know about.</p>
<p>“Maybe he’s just a really good friend. Isn't that what friends do, take care of each other?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, like to help you move or maybe give you a reference. Dean, this is way more than friendship.”</p>
<p>Dean shakes his head, “No, you’re blowing it out of proportion now. Cas doesn’t think of me that way.”</p>
<p>“Oh, please Dean, the guy is head over heels for you. Anyone with eyes can see.”</p>
<p>“It’s complicated Sam.” And he didn’t want to tell him about the surveillance. It would only cause more problems.</p>
<p>“Then explain it to me.” Sam sits down in the kitchen chair, waiting patiently for Dean to tell him all about it.</p>
<p>Dean sighs, he’s going to have to let him in a little. Maybe he could pawn it off on Agent Henriksen. Let him take the fall for everything.</p>
<p>
  <strong>BANG! BANG! BANG!</strong>
</p>
<p>The front door shakes on its hinges.</p>
<p>“Jesus, who the hell is that?” Dean leans into the hall and in the setting sun he spies a familiar silhouette in the glass at the front of the house.</p>
<p>“Who is it Dean?” Sam’s brows furrow in confusion.</p>
<p>His stomach rolls, sloshing the whiskey around. He just couldn’t catch a break today. Standing up, he steps cautiously to the door, he knows who’s behind it but if he can keep quiet maybe they’ll go away.</p>
<p>“I CAN SEE YOUR CAR DEAN! I know you are home!”</p>
<p>Damn it... he was out of luck. And with Sam here, it was going to get ugly.</p>
<p>He opens the door wide, putting a cheerful smile on his face.</p>
<p>“Hey Becky, what can I do for you?”</p>
<p>She looks up at him with murder in her eyes, “Well, for starters you can call your boyfriend and get me my job back!”</p>
<p>Dean hears the scrap of a chair behind him, Sam’s already on his feet. He is so fucked...</p>
<p>“Becky, can we step outside, please?” Dean pleads.</p>
<p>“Ugh! Whatever, you don’t have to be polite to me anymore either. The deal is over. The whole thing is over.”</p>
<p>He shoves her out onto the porch, shutting the door firmly behind them. He searches her face for some sign she’s pulling his leg.</p>
<p>“What do you mean? Did something happen with the bank?”</p>
<p>Her eyes flash, “Yeah something happened. I got fired Dean, don’t you get it?”</p>
<p>She stomps out into the yard, ranting like a lunatic. “All that planning, and preparation wasted, and for what? A couple decent fucks at some cheap motel!”</p>
<p>Dean can feel heat start to bubble in his gut. Thank God he didn’t have any neighbors! They’d be calling the cops by now, or live streaming the whole thing.</p>
<p>“Becky,” He hollers to get her attention, “Becky! I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought you said the whole thing was on hold!”</p>
<p>She comes storming back up the walkway, “Ha! No, they were always going to keep things moving. I've only been stalling the process. Delaying the inevitable.”</p>
<p>So even with his extra payments it would have been for nothing? She freaking lied to him, again! God he was so stupid to trust anything she said.</p>
<p>He grits his teeth and looks down at her, “So what the hell have I been doing with you the last 8 months?”</p>
<p>“What’s the matter, are you regretting whoring yourself out to save this dump?” She gestures wildly at the house behind him.</p>
<p>“Of course, I regret it you fucking bitch! I never wanted anything to do with you. And I’d do anything to never see you again!”</p>
<p>She laughs in his face, “So you admit it?”</p>
<p>“Admit what Becky?”</p>
<p>“You sabotaged my deal!”</p>
<p>He shakes his head, “Becky, I didn’t have anything to do with the other stuff.”</p>
<p>“No, but I bet your boyfriend did!”</p>
<p>“Boyfriend?” He sputters. Who could he have possibly been seeing when he spent all his goddamn free time with her?</p>
<p>“Are you or are you not seeing Castiel Darcy?”</p>
<p>“What? Seeing Cas, no, we’ve socialized but we’re not seeing each other.” He was getting a little tired of everyone assuming he was dating Cas. And pretending the fact didn’t hurt every time he had to deny it.</p>
<p>“You were at Pemberley weeks ago. You stayed there!”</p>
<p>How the hell did she know that? “Were you following me? I had dinner, with my aunt and uncle there. It was just dinner!”</p>
<p>“Then why did he tank my deal and buy your house?”</p>
<p>Dean’s heart comes to a crashing halt. “What? He bought this house. He bought my house?”</p>
<p>She scoffs, “You’re telling me you didn’t know?”</p>
<p>“No, I had no idea. But, even if I did, I wouldn’t have told you.”</p>
<p>“What’s the matter Dean? Darcy keeping you on a short leash?” She smirks.</p>
<p>His heart restarts with a vengeance and begins to hammer in his chest, he steps off the porch and her eyes go wide. She stumbles back towards her car.</p>
<p>“Becky, let me make something perfectly clear,” He ticks off on his fingers, “We’re not friends, we’re not in a relationship.”</p>
<p>She’s almost to the door now, tripping over her feet in the long grass.</p>
<p>“You’ve been essentially blackmailing me, and I’m doing everything in my power to not strangle you right now.”</p>
<p>He’s backed her up against the car door now, feeling dangerously close to acting on his threat.</p>
<p>She glares at him; “You don’t scare me. And your lawyer boyfriend can't protect you. This house is getting sold.”</p>
<p>He leans down smugly in her face, “According to you, it already has. Now get the hell out of here.”</p>
<p>She doesn’t take another minute to think and bolts like a rabbit into her car. Engine revving, she flies down the driveway and off into the night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean’s breath heaves in and out of his chest, his blood boils under his skin. That woman, that lying snake. He was a fool to get involved with her. But what if she was right, did Cas really end the deal? Did he own their home? What if he bulldozed the whole thing and built that stupid mall? No, Cas wouldn’t do that... not after everything he did for Dean’s family. Everything he did for...</p>
<p>“Dean...” Sam calls to him from the door, “was that all true?”</p>
<p>He sighs bitterly and turns to his brother, “The part about me foolishly trying to save the house, yeah its true, but I don’t know anything about Cas’s involvement.”</p>
<p>Sam drops down onto the concrete stoop, “But... Why? Why would you do something like that?”</p>
<p>Burning shame coldcocks his anger right off its feet. Everything he’d been trying to hide for months spilled out into the night. He stares down at the grass, unable to meet his brother’s eyes.</p>
<p>“I had no choice Sammy.”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t believe that.”</p>
<p>He does look up now, feeling the familiar burn of dread in his throat. “She was going to take everything from us! What else was I supposed to do? Let her take the house?”</p>
<p>Sam shakes his head in dismay, “Dean, it's just a house.”</p>
<p>“Just a house? Sam this is our life! Our family! You can't expect me to throw that away.”</p>
<p>Pushing up from the porch he gets right in Dean’s face, “This is our family,” He points between the two of them, “Dean, it's us and Adam. It doesn’t matter where we live, we’ll always be a family.”</p>
<p>No, no he was wrong, it did matter. Without it, there’d be nothing keeping them here. If the house was gone, there would be no reason for Sam or Adam to stay with him. And he’d be alone.</p>
<p>“I did what I had to do, I did it to keep us together.”</p>
<p>“At what cost Dean? Look at what she tricked you into! How long were you going to let her control you like that?”</p>
<p>He shoves Sam back now, “As long as it was going to take! It bought us time; I had it handled.”</p>
<p>“You should have asked me for help.”</p>
<p>“It’s my responsibility.” Dean turns his back; Sam was pushing him. He just wouldn’t listen!</p>
<p>Sam sighs, “Dean you can't do all this on your own.”</p>
<p>“I am on my own!” He whirls back around, his voice breaking on every word. “Sam! You’ve been gone for half the year.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you put that on me Dean! You told me to go to LA.”</p>
<p>Dean wants to hold on to this anger so badly, but it keeps slipping through his fingers. Sam is right, he practically forced the idea of transferring on him. With Sam gone he had been free to make all the terrible choices he wanted. Now they were all coming back to bite him in the ass.</p>
<p>“You’re right, I did push that idea on you. But Sam, you need to understand, I have to take care of this family.”</p>
<p>Sam shakes his head again, “Dean, why? I was 21 when Dad died. I was an adult; I could have helped you this whole time, but you told me no. You said I needed to focus on school, then the internship, and then my job at Netherfield. Why are you the only one who needs to take care of this?”</p>
<p>“Because...” he trails off.</p>
<p>“Because why?”</p>
<p>Dean explodes, “Because I'm freaking terrified alright!”</p>
<p>“Terrified of what Dean?” Sam lays a hand on his shoulder and Dean falls to the step, incapable of holding himself up any longer.</p>
<p>“Do you remember when Dad first got sick, how quickly I jumped at the chance to take time off to help out?”</p>
<p>Sam nods, waiting for Dean to continue.</p>
<p>“I was fifteen credits shy of graduating, I only had to finish the semester and I would have been done. And I had been talking to that friend of mine about coming to write for his blog, remember?”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, Benny and the pop culture thing, right? Whatever happened with that?”</p>
<p>Dean huffs out a breath, “He offered me the job outright, as soon as graduation was over I could have it. The following week was the first time Dad got admitted to the hospital. I stalled Benny as long as I could, and he understood. But eventually I had to turn him down. Dad was getting sicker, but it wasn’t because of that. I was afraid, I didn’t think I'd be good enough. And the fear of failing kept me from ever taking the chance. I used Dad’s illness as a reason to quit.”</p>
<p>“I wish would have told me that sooner.” Sam whispers, it’s gone full dark now. The porch light collecting little moths and bugs in its warm glow. “Dean, you know it's not too late.”</p>
<p>He knew that was coming, Sam wasn’t going to drop it till Dean made his next plan. Till he got some resolution out of him.</p>
<p>“Yeah maybe, we’ll have to see if Adam makes progress in this program.”</p>
<p>“Dean, Adam’s going to have to work this program for a long time. He may always go to NA.”</p>
<p>“What’s your point Sam?”</p>
<p>Sam turns to him, eyes glinting with intensity, “You can't hide here forever.”</p>
<p>“I’m not hiding.” Dean fidgets with his ring, twirling the warm metal around his finger.</p>
<p>“Isn't that what you just told me? You said you were afraid, and this house, all your responsibilities were just an excuse.”</p>
<p>“So now you’re going to throw all my words back in my face?”</p>
<p>Sam didn’t get it; Dean had been living with the fear for years. It wasn’t going all going to vanish in one night, with one conversation.</p>
<p>“Dean I’m just trying to say, you don’t have to be afraid. And for the record I don’t think you’re going to fail.”</p>
<p>“Thanks man, I promise I'll think about it.”</p>
<p>“I'm going to hold you to that.”</p>
<p>Yeah, he probably would, once Sam sunk his teeth into an idea it would be difficult to get him to forget about it. Maybe he’d be distracted enough with Eileen and their rekindled romance to leave Dean alone for a little while.</p>
<p>They sit quietly for some time. The crickets chirp, on another street a truck rumbles past, with there being no other neighbors on their street its almost eerie how alone they are. What's going to happen now? If Cas did buy their house, by rights it was no longer theirs. What if they woke up tomorrow with movers parked out front, waiting to politely throw them out? Or worse, a wrecking crew. If Dean had to see his childhood home smashed to bits, he didn’t think he’d ever recover. And he’d certainly never be able to speak to Castiel again.</p>
<p>Theres a pain in his chest at that, the thought of never talking to Cas again, it felt wrong. Could he really give up the delicate thing between them that had just started to form? He needed to know, if Castiel meant to tear down everything Dean had fought to protect for so long, he deserved to hear it from the man himself.</p>
<p>“Dean,” Sam exhales on a labored breath, “What if Becky wasn’t lying about the house? Cas won’t sell to the developer, right? That wouldn’t make any sense.”</p>
<p>He clearly had been thinking the same things as Dean. Despite his protests it was just a house, Sam still sounded afraid. Dean stands up, shrugging on the role of big brother like an old coat. It would be up to him, again, to find out just how much trouble they were in. And to get them out of it, one way or another. </p>
<p>Dean reaches down to tug Sam up to his feet, no small task given his brother’s stature. He pulls Dean into a hard hug with one fluid motion.</p>
<p>“Woah, hey! It’s okay Sammy.” He claps a hand on his back, his voice catching in his throat, “I’ll take care of us, I always. do.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*Waves Aggressively* Hi Everybody!!</p><p>I'm so sorry for the delay in update. This was a week from HELL!  I had these last chapters running simultaneously and it took me all week to work out all the edits. But as a reward for being so patient I have not one, not two, but three chapters to post this week! And then we’ll be at the end of our journey.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite pushing the Impala past the posted speed, it’s well after midnight by the time Dean makes it to Pemberly. The grounds are dark, and even though the front gate wasn’t locked, he feels like an intruder. This was probably a mistake; he should have just waited till morning. But he couldn’t, he needed to know. If Castiel was going to ruin his life in one fell swoop Dean was damn sure going to let him know how he felt about it.</p><p>He parks and looks up at the mansion; given the lateness of the hour, he’s surprised to see a few windows still lit. It could just be a security measure, but he doesn’t think so. He could have easily called the number Cas’s driver gave him; he still had the card tucked in his wallet along with the faded letter. But it felt like giving Darcy an unfair advantage. If he was truly going to demolish Dean’s home, Dean didn’t want him to have time to come up with excuses.</p><p>He takes a ragged breath and exits his vehicle. In the dead of the night his boots crunch on the gravel as loud as a gunfire. But he barely hears it over the roar of his heartbeat in his ears. There’s a whisper of wind through the trees and it ruffles his hair, the warm air doing nothing to cool the light film of sweat on his skin. Stepping up to the ornate front door, Dean licks his lips before reaching out to bang the old-fashioned knocker. The sound echoes out into the dark behind him, and he winces at the offending noise.</p><p>Behind the door he can hear footsteps, the deadbolt being thrown, the locks unclicking rapidly. His pulse jumps in anticipation of the impending altercation. The door swings back enough for a face to appear in the opening, a pair of blue eyes stare at him in surprise.</p><p> “Dean, what are you doing here?” Claire speaks hesitantly.</p><p>His heart falls, not the eyes he was hoping to see, but the thought is quickly banished away by fear. What the hell was she doing opening the door in the middle of the night?</p><p>“Claire! Are you crazy? Answering the door alone, its after midnight!” He shouts at her.</p><p>She rolls her eyes and looks so much like Castiel in that moment it cracks something deep in his chest.</p><p>“Well, I wouldn’t have to answer it if <em>someone</em> wasn’t knocking on my door. And secondly, I knew it was you.” She points a finger up at the glass globe of a security camera and Dean’s anger dissolves into embarrassment in an instant.</p><p>He wheezes out a strangled laugh, “I um... didn’t think about that. But still that wasn’t a smart idea.”</p><p>She opens the door wider to reveal a wooden baseball bat in her other hand. She looks down at it modestly, “Just in case.”</p><p>Dean swallows the expletive that wants to come leaping from his mouth. He clearly underestimated this young woman. She leans the bat against the door and folds her arms across her chest. Eyeing him curiously.</p><p>“Now that we’ve established I can take care of myself, I'll ask again, what are you doing here Dean?”</p><p>“I need to talk to your brother, is he here?”</p><p>She raises a perfectly groomed brow, “Why do you need to talk to him?”</p><p>Dean balks at this question, he wasn’t expecting her to push back at him like that.</p><p>“It's a personal matter.” He says, desperately hoping that her manners will outweigh her curiosity and she’ll go get Cas.</p><p>But she doesn’t budge, “I gathered as much seeing as its 12:38 at night. But I'm not sure that is enough of a reason to wake up my brother.”</p><p>He lets out a little sigh of relief, at least Cas is here, part of him worried he drove out here for nothing and Castiel would have been back in the city or gone altogether. But that didn’t change the fact she hadn’t called for him or allowed Dean to come in the entryway.</p><p>“Claire, please. I really need to talk to him. It’s important.”</p><p>“Important to him?” she inquires.</p><p>Dean frowns, “Excuse me?”</p><p>“I know it’s important to you, but is it important to him? Will he want to hear what you have to say?”</p><p>His frown deepens, Claire was acting wildly different than she had been at dinner. That day she had been sweet and friendly; asking Dean all manner of questions about his interests. Constantly letting him know when something he liked matched up with Castiel. It was almost a little too obvious how much she was trying to set them up. She clearly adored her brother, it seemed she made it her mission to paint him in the most flattering light possible, which at the time Dean found insanely charming.</p><p>But tonight, she was cool and guarded, her refusal to let him in the house without good reason went against every assumption Dean had made about her. No longer did she look like the polite young woman, blue eyes dancing humorously. With her arms crossed defiantly she looked like a palace guard, keeping the lowly peasant away from the king. A lightbulb flickers on in his mind at the thought, she was protecting Cas, from him! He holds up he hands for a truce.</p><p>“I’m not here to start a fight Claire, I promise.” He sighs, she wasn’t going to budge without a reason, “I think he may have... done something for me, and I need to ask him about it.”</p><p>Her shoulders relax a little, imminent threat having passed, “What did he do?”</p><p>He eyes her suspiciously, her sudden keen interest had his back up, “I was told he bought something, and I'm not sure if he did it for me or not.” It was a vague as he can be without barfing out the whole eight months' worth of drama on her.</p><p>“Castiel is always buying people things without asking,” she shrugs, “it must have been something big for you to drive all the way out here.”</p><p>Dean nods silently, fingers crossed behind his back she’ll give up the interrogation and invite him in. He could feel the nerves and the doubt creeping back through him. The longer he was delayed from finding out the truth, he feared it would be too late to take it all back. In his mind, work crews were already being assembled, sledgehammers loaded by the dozen into the back of a truck. His family home reduced to rubble and Dean trapped in the middle screaming to make them stop. Wall crashing down, burying him under it all. He shivers at the intrusive thoughts.</p><p>“He’s scared too you know?” she whispers, and Dean’s knocked out his awful dream.</p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p>Her arms uncross and she fiddles with the hem of her sweater, “I said Castiel is scared too.”</p><p>“Scared of what Claire?” Never mind the fact she clearly saw how scared Dean felt in that moment.</p><p>“He didn’t use to be, I know I was just a little kid, but I remember. Before our parents died, he seemed fearless, like he could stand against God himself and make him tremble.” She pauses, taking a shaky breath, “after they were killed, he became almost obsessive in his compulsion to protect the things he loved. He sacrificed everything for his friends, for me; but after long time, and several conversations about boundaries, things were good again. It seemed like he was moving past the it.”</p><p>Dean feels the dim echoes of recognition in his heart, didn’t he do the very same thing with his own family? With no regard for their wishes, he constantly put their needs before his own.</p><p>Her hands tremble over the soft fabric, “Then last year, after what happened to Jane, it seemed to come back in a tidal wave. He worked tirelessly to persecute Alastair; he was determined to make him pay at any cost. I thought maybe it would completely consume him. It didn’t seem like he’d rest till he brought him to justice. I knew he felt like a failure but there was little I could do to reassure him he wasn’t.”</p><p>He looks at her in confusion, he didn’t know why she was sharing so much of this with him. But the sentiments she expressed sounded so much like what Sam had just said a few hours before.</p><p>“I won't presume to know the nature of your relationship with my brother. Obviously, I have some idea, but he is very private, so I only know what I've observed of him and his behavior.”</p><p>“Claire what are you trying to say?”</p><p>She looks down shyly and then back up at him, “I’m saying, that whatever Castiel has done to you or for you, please know that it came from a place of love. His heart is so big, it’s just that his head gets in the way sometimes.”</p><p>A place of friendship, maybe. Dean thinks back on everything Cas has done, inviting Dean’s family into this house, how quickly he rushed Dean to Adam’s hospital bed. How he held Dean in the car while he cried out all his fears. Fighting to bring Alastair to justice, paying for Adam’s treatment, reuniting Sam and Eileen. And now the house; it wasn’t a deception or a ploy, it was just another way of making amends.</p><p>But then again, Castiel had spent the last two months proving every word that Dean had shouted at him that day in the rain was untrue. Everything Cas had done contradicted all the horrible things Dean said. How could he have been so blind to it? How could he have doubted that Cas was a good man? That what he did, well it may have truly all been out of the kindness of his heart.</p><p>His heart swells at the realization, maybe things between them weren’t as broken as he thought.</p><p>“Claire,” He croaks, his throat clogged with emotion, “can you please go get Cas?”</p><p>She sighs, “I would love to, but he’s not here.”</p><p>“He’s what now?” Dean blinks rapidly.</p><p>“He’s not here. He doesn’t usually spend the night at Pemberly.”</p><p>“Where is he?”</p><p>She smiles, “I would assume at home, back in the city.”</p><p>Dean bites the inside of his cheek, it’s the only thing to keep him from shouting at this ridiculous girl. He exhales through his nose; half expecting steam to come billowing out in the process. She stalled him this whole time and Cas wasn’t even in the damn house!</p><p>“Could you please give me that address, I would very much like to go see him.”</p><p>Her grin widens, “I would be happy to, do you have your phone on you?”</p><p>He wrenches his phone out of his pocket and hands it over. She continues to smile cheekily as she programs the address into the map function. When she’s finished, she holds the phone to her chest a moment.</p><p>“What are you going to say to him?” she inquires.</p><p>Dean didn’t really know; he’d been so focused on Castiel’s intentions and the subsequent consequences that he never stopped to think what he’d say in return. He mostly thought it would involve a lot of cussing and maybe even some punching. But now that he felt like he knew the truth, he was going to have to think of something else.</p><p>“I’m going to say thank you. Isn't that what you do when someone does something nice for you?”</p><p>She hands the phone back with a smile, “Yes, that’s exactly what you do.”</p><p>He turns to go, picking up speed as he gets to the parking lot, and soon he’s full out running. Claire stands in the open doorway, watching the Impala back out and drive off into the night. Dean can't see it but she hugs herself, pulls her own phone out of the pocket of her pajama bottoms she hits speed dial and waits for the call to connect.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Running on pure adrenaline Dean stops the car in front of Cas’s building at a screeching halt. Leaving it at in the curved drive he bolts into the building, the same man from last time sits behind the desk. Dean staggers up to him.</p><p>“Hi - Could you please call up to Mr. Darcy’s apartment?”</p><p>The man eyes Dean with hesitation, it was very late, and his appearance probably looked wild. He’d spent the better part of the car ride tugging at his own hair, not only out of frustration over what to do, but also to keep himself awake. He was still in his clothes from the morning too, a faded tee shirt with the name of a brewery on it and an old pair of worn-out jeans. Plus, it had been his day off, so he hadn't bothered to shave. He may in fact look like a homeless person stumbling in from the street.</p><p>“What's the name?” the man asks.</p><p>“Dean, Dean Bennet.” he lets out a sigh of relief, finally he was getting somewhere.</p><p>Silently he picks up the phone and presses a button on the keypad. Dean bites his lips as it rings, waiting impatiently for Cas to answer. He can hear the ringing through the headset, every trill hammers in his head. Why isn't he answering? Maybe he wasn’t here either, maybe he went out for the night. Dean’s face falls as the man behind the desk lowers the phone. It clatters in the cradle along with Dean’s heart.</p><p>“I'm sorry Mr. Bennet, I don’t think he’s home.”</p><p>“It’s okay, can you let him know I came by?”</p><p>The man nods, “I’ll tell him when he returns.”</p><p>Dean sighs, feeling weary all the way down to his bones, “Thanks, have a good night.”</p><p>He turns to go, each step to the door feels like a hundred miles. Maybe he’d have to dig that number out after all. It was stupid, he was being stupid. He should have just called first. There was no reason behind his need to surprise Castiel with a visit. He could have handled this a lot better. He needed to go home, get some sleep. Maybe a clearer head tomorrow would help him decide what to do.</p><p>He’s almost to the lobby doors when the elevator bell chimes softly behind him. The doors woosh open and someone steps off the car.</p><p>“Dean, wait!” Castiel shouts.</p><p>The rough sound reverberates off the high ceilings of the room, it echoes all around him. Dean turns to see Cas striding across the marble floor. Something in Dean thrums, like a bow string being plucked. He feels the arrow nock against it deep in his heart.</p><p>“You’re here.” Dean murmurs as Castiel gets within an arm's length. His fingers itch to reach out and confirm he’s physically there and he’s not dreaming.</p><p>“Claire called me,” Cas’s eyes search his face, asking a thousand questions in silence.</p><p>Dean smirks a little, still so unsure of what was really going on behind those beautiful blue eyes, “Of course she did.”</p><p>“She said you wanted to talk, but you're leaving?”</p><p>“We tried to call up,” He nods at the doorman who’s actively not listening to their conversation, hiding behind a newspaper. “When you didn’t answer, I thought maybe you left.”</p><p>“I must have been on the way down, she called so long ago I thought maybe you changed your mind and went home. I was on my way to your house just now.”</p><p>He looks Cas up and down, his appearance just as disheveled as Dean’s. His shirt sleeves are pushed up around his elbows, the hem untucked, he’s in a pair of jeans Dean has never seen him wear and his feet are clad in socks with little fish on them.</p><p>Dean laughs breathlessly, “Cas you’re not even wearing shoes.”</p><p>Cas looks down at his feet bewildered, Dean can see the flush creep his neck through the opening of his shirt.</p><p>“I guess I wasn’t thinking,” he fidgets a moment, “did you still want to talk to me?”</p><p>“Yes, I do,” Dean pauses, steeling his nerves, he had to get this out, “Cas, I know what you did for Adam and his treatment program. And I know about the house.”</p><p>Castiel swallows audibly, “Are you upset with me?”</p><p>“At first, I was, it felt like charity. Then it felt like a ploy to get Adam on the hook for testifying.” Dean stops already seeing the panic growing on Castiel’s face. “I know it wasn’t that. I’m only telling you what I felt at the start. I talked to Bobby, he set me straight.”</p><p>“Your uncle, he set me straight as well.” Cas flushes deeply again, Dean had no doubts that Bobby let him have a piece of his mind.</p><p>“Cas I'm just so freaking grateful. You can’t know how much it means to us. I can't even begin to thank you for what you did. I’ll never be able to repay - “</p><p>Cas holds up a hand to stop him, “You don’t have to thank me, if it hadn't been for my poor choices none of this would have happened in the first place.”</p><p>“That’s not true, Cas what you did for my family, its beyond price.” He needed to make him understand how thankful they all were.</p><p>“I didn’t do it for your family Dean.” Castiel murmurs.</p><p>“What did you say?” Cas’s words so soft, Dean wasn’t even sure he heard him.</p><p>Castiel moves like he wants to take a step closer to Dean, but holds back at the last second, “You must know... Surely you must know.”</p><p>“Know what Cas?”</p><p>His face falls for just a fraction of a second, “That it was all for you.”</p><p>Dean’s eyes widen at the realization; did Cas really mean that? Something in his soars at the possibility, maybe he’d been wrong the whole time. Maybe he wasn’t too late.</p><p>Castiel continues, straining to speak, no louder than a whisper, “I never expected that information to come to light, but the fact that you’re here fills me with a hope that I hadn't allowed myself to dwell on or even acknowledge for weeks.”</p><p>His words swarm around Dean’s heart, that arrow in his chest releases and hits its target.</p><p>“Cas -” he starts but the other man shakes his head.</p><p>“Dean, if you still feel the way you did that day at the police station, I need you tell me now,” Castiel’s face twists in a mixture of regret and longing, “I know I betrayed your trust; however, I must tell you that my feelings towards you haven't changed in the slightest. But one word from you and I can promise you won’t hear from me ever again.”</p><p>His fists stay tight to his side and Dean can see him struggling to maintain his composure. Meanwhile, Dean’s features feel like they’ve taken on a life of their own. His eyes prickle with the prospect of tears, but at the same time a smile tugs the corners of his mouth up. His heart is fluttering, trapped like a bird, in his chest. He lets out a shaky breath and takes that step Castiel held back, closing the distance between them. The sorrow on Cas’s face melts away, his hands relax and his shoulders sag as Dean gets right in his face.</p><p>“If, however, your feelings have changed,” Castiel exhales softly, a puff of warm breath on Dean’s skin, “I have something to say to you.”</p><p>He pauses, still giving Dean an out, still allowing him a chance to change his mind. Even when he’s clearly in agony, Castiel still wanted Dean to know his own pride meant nothing. That soaring feeling radiates from the inside out, Dean feels like he’s glowing with it.</p><p>“Say what you need to say Cas,” Dean whispers, aching to reach out and take his hand. Knowing if he touched Cas he might never stop. He never wanted anything more in his life.</p><p>“From the day we met, I've been captivated by the very thought of you. Even when it felt like we may be more suited as adversaries than friends, I knew my life would never be the same, you’ve changed me Dean. You’ve ravaged my mind, ensnared my heart, and bewitched me body and soul. Dean, I love you, with all that I am.”</p><p>Dean trembles under the weight of those words. Could this really be happening? Even after every awful thing Dean has done or said to Castiel, could it be he loved him? How could he let this remarkable man doubt for a second what had been in his heart all along?</p><p>“Cas, I-” he starts.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything back,” Cas interrupts, “I know you may not feel the same, but with things being so uncertain between us, I just <em>had</em> to tell you. Seeing you here, I couldn’t go on without you knowing how I felt. I understand if you’re not...”</p><p>Cas blurts his excuses and fears all over Dean and it's all he can do to keep from shaking him.</p><p>“Will you shut up a minute?” He shouts and Cas recoils, hanging his head, “I’m trying to tell you I love you too.”</p><p>Castiel’s head flies back up, “You what?”</p><p>A smile blooms on Dean’s face, he puts his hands on both of Castiel’s cheeks, “I love, I love, I love you.”</p><p>Castiel reaches up and grabs Dean by the wrists, locking his warm hands around him in a vice. Tugging softly, he pulls Dean closer, releasing the hold on his hands and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Their eyes close as their mouths meet, and to Dean, the kiss feels like coming home.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Cas’s lips are soft and pillowy, they had looked chapped, but they feel smooth against his own. Dean inhales deeply through his nose breathing in the scent of soap, cologne, and something that might just be Cas himself.</p><p>Cas’s hands card through his hair, they run up and down his arms, they squeeze his waist. Every sensation loosens his tether on reality, Dean slips blissfully further away. He breaks the kiss first and lets out a little sigh. Resting their foreheads together.</p><p>“Now, <em>that</em>, was worth the wait.” Dean murmurs.</p><p>Cas let’s out a quiet chuckle, “It was very nice Dean.”</p><p>Lifting his head up, “Nice? It was better than nice! Your doorman’s reading his newspaper upside down for god’s sakes!”</p><p>He points behind him to where the man at the desk yelps, tosses down his paper, and busies himself with something at his computer. Cas laughs a little louder now; the rumble in his chest radiates out warming Dean down to his toes.</p><p>“Alright, it was better than nice. It was spectacular. A kiss that will go down in history.” Cas grins, running a thumb over Dean’s cheek.</p><p>“Yeah, you were okay.” Dean jokes, trying to hide just how much the kiss affected him. He’d been a fool all this time to deny how he felt for Castiel. Letting his pride get in the way for far too long. It was so clear now that he shoved all that aside. He loved him, he loved Cas. Nothing in his life had ever felt that easy, felt that right.</p><p>“I guess I just need more practice.”</p><p>Dean shivers under the look Cas gives him. His blue eyes glinting in the warm lights of the lobby.</p><p>“Oh, I think I can help with that.” Dean waggles his eyebrows, earning a whole body eyeroll.</p><p>“You’re an idiot.” Cas sighs fondly, pulling him into a warm embrace, “it’s a wonder why I love you.”</p><p>Dean wraps his arms around Cas, his eyes prickling. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of hearing those words. It’s not that his life had been so lacking in love. But this felt different, so much more than the handful of relationships he had over the years. It felt like if he didn’t start it out on the right foot, he’d regret it forever.</p><p>“I love you too,” he mumbles into Cas’s shoulder, “Cas, I’m so sorry about all the things I said. I was wrong, about everything. You’ve only been doing what you thought was right. And I, well I couldn’t see it. Or I didn’t want to. But there’s something I need to know.”</p><p>He looks up into those absurdly blue eyes, dreading his question might shatter the fragility of what had only just begun to form between them.</p><p>“Dean, you can ask me anything.” Cas wipes a tear from his cheek. He hadn't realized he was even crying.</p><p>“What happened with my house?”</p><p>Castiel tilts his head to the side, “I thought it would be obvious, but now, I suppose you may not have all the facts.”</p><p>Dean had a hell of a lot of facts, but he didn’t want to share them all with Cas. Too ashamed to admit how badly he fucked up this whole situation.</p><p>“Dean, Becky was skimming money from the sale. From all of them it seems. She doctored the contracts to say the sellers were paid more than what they had settled on. And she changed the account numbers so the excess funds were funneled into her own account.”</p><p>Holy shit! He knew Becky had been manipulating the system, but he could never put two and two together about what benefit she got out of it. He just assumed she was a nympho and was in it for the thrill. She was a freaking criminal mastermind!</p><p>“Is she going to prison?”</p><p>Cas nods, “Most likely yes, she fed Gabe and I some lies about being forced by the developer to skim. And we, regrettably, let her leave the building freely. But once we dug deeper it was clear she acted all on her own. I suspect the authorities have picked her up by now.”</p><p>What if that’s not all she confessed to? What if she told everyone how she had held him hostage by the dick for almost a year? He didn’t think he could live with himself if that information got out. Shame threatens to dash all his hopes for a life with Cas onto the marble floor of the lobby. He had to tell him the truth, before it was too late.</p><p>“Cas, you know how you saw Becky and I together at her office?”</p><p>“Yes, I remember. It was Valentine’s Day.”</p><p>Dean pulls out of Cas’s arms, already feeling a chill settling in his bones, “Well you see, she and I were... we were kind of...”</p><p>He can't do it; Cas is looking right into his soul and he can't just hurt him like this. It wasn’t right. He curses Becky’s existence for the thousandth time. He rubs his hands over his face, this just wasn’t fair.</p><p>“You were sleeping together.” Cas says point blank.</p><p>Dean drags his hands away from his face, “How? How did you know that?”</p><p>“She told us, Gabe and I. Rather crudely in fact, that she was, and I quote “Screwing my boyfriend blind on the reg”, it was quite pathetic.” He shakes his head in disgust.</p><p>“Oh... wait, why aren’t you pissed?” Dean searches Cas’s face for signs he’s still upset about it. God knows he deserved whatever wrath Castiel wanted to rain down on him.</p><p>Cas sighs, taking Dean’s hand in his, “I was, but not at you. Dean I know she manipulated you. It was clear she somehow convinced you that was the only way to save your home. Knowing how devious her plans truly were, it makes sense why you felt you had no other options. Because she made it that way. And I'm sorry, that things between us were so... uncertain, that you couldn’t ask for my help.”</p><p>Something cracks in his chest, call it hope, call it blind optimism, call it whatever you want; he only knew that despite everything Castiel still loves him. He was never going to take that for granted. And if he had to, he’d spend the rest of his life making it up to him.</p><p>“Cas...” he starts, but nothing feels good enough. He spent his life crafting words and they all fall flat on his tongue.</p><p>“You don’t have to explain yourself Dean. I know it seems like something inexcusable, but really, I don’t hold any grudge. If I had been in your shoes, I would have probably made the same choices, I know how important your home is to you.”</p><p>“What’s going to happen to it?” he blurts out, he felt so sure Cas was going to do the right thing, but something still nagged him. He'd never be settled till it was out in the open.</p><p>“Well with the legal implications being what they are, I assume the developer is going to have rethink the whole concept. People are going to find out Dean, they’re going to know they were cheated, and it will blow back on the company. It may halt the construction altogether.”</p><p>“So, my house is safe?”</p><p>“For now, yes, and by paying off your mortgage I hope it will keep it that way for a long time.”</p><p>“Thank you” he murmurs, his heart impossibly full.</p><p>“You're welcome,” Cas smiles, “now come here.”</p><p>He pulls Dean back into his arms, pressing a kiss to his temple. They stand that way for a long time. Just holding each other. Dean can feel Cas’s heartbeat through his shirt, the rhythm syncing up with his own. Chest to chest, hip to hip, their arms encased around on another.</p><p>A smile pulls at his lips, two grown men so hopelessly in love they can't be bothered to stop hugging. After almost a year of longing for him, this all felt surreal to Dean. Cas was here, in his arms. He loved him, he forgave him, heaven knows what Dean did to deserve any of it.</p><p>“I love you Cas,” he pulls back to look him in the eyes.</p><p>Emotion swirling in them, mirroring the way Dean’s own shine. The bond between them feels unbreakable in this moment.</p><p>Castiel reaches out to brush another tear from his cheek, “And I love you.”</p><p>A tentative smiles blooms across Dean’s face, “I’m never going to get tired of hearing that.”</p><p>“I’ll be sure to say it often.”</p><p>“Yeah, you better.” He leans in and kisses Cas deeply. Pouring all that’s in his heart into that kiss. Because it’s not just words, it’s not just a kiss. It’s something turbulent and consuming. Something you couldn’t put a price on. Something life altering.</p><p>And he found it, he found it here with this man. This infuriating, sarcastic, generous man. He found a seemingly endless abundance of kindness and understanding. He found the love he always wished for. The love he truly deserved.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next chapter is NSFW. If that's not your thing the story does have my planned ending here and you can skip it. But if you're as tired of this slow burn as I am, I hope you'll enjoy the shenanigans our boys get up to. ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a reminder this chapter is NSFW - there are no plot points here so if its not your thing that is okay. Stick around for the next chapter coming up later this week!</p><p>For the rest of you heathens, I hope you enjoy! This chapter is a little shorter than what you're used to from me. But 5,000 words of pure smut proved much harder than I thought. *Title of your sex tape* LOL!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cas breaks their kiss, hands skimming up and down his arms. The touch somehow different than it had been earlier. Castiel’s fingers pressed harder into him with each pass, occasionally dragging with his blunt nails. Sending little flickers of heat along his bare skin, creeping over his chest, and down through his stomach.</p><p>All the while he’s nosing along Dean’s neck, inhaling deeply at the hollow of his collar bone, his lips barely brushing the edge of his tee shirt. It was working Dean up, in all the best ways.</p><p>He swallows audibly, “Cas, this is really nice, but are we going to stand here all night?”</p><p>“I guess we should probably get out of the lobby,” Cas looks up at Dean through his lashes, “would you like to go upstairs?”</p><p>Oh, hell yes he wants to go upstairs! The tentative heat Dean felt a moment ago banks into a roaring fire with one look from Cas. They’re still wrapped around each other, and Dean’s becoming acutely aware of just how much he wants to finish what they started all those weeks ago. And it's localized around the area behind his zipper.</p><p>He nods, unable to express in words his need for Cas this very minute. Those strong hands move from his arms to grip his hips, and Dean can feel Cas’s own desire brush up against his groin. Already half hard, Dean drops his head to Castiel’s shoulder and lets out a quiet moan.</p><p>“I’ll take that as a yes,” Castiel’s voice rumbles low in his ear. His lips brushing softly along the delicate skin there, “because as much as Tony might appreciate the show, what I want to do to you requires a bit of privacy.”</p><p>No longer half anything, Dean’s cock fills out rapidly inside his jeans. Cas add a little bit of tongue behind the kisses along his jaw line and Dean whimpers.</p><p>“Upstairs, now. Right now.” Dean pants, earning another gravely laugh from Cas.</p><p>Releasing the hold on him, Cas takes Dean’s hand and drags them to the elevator. Nodding briefly to Tony, he swipes his key card, his free hand running down Dean’s back possessively. Each touch burns further into his skin, heating him from the inside out.</p><p>The doors open and a sense of deja vu swarms over Dean. The last elevator ride with Cas left him desperate and wanting. Another card swipe and the doors close, Dean stands still as a statue, waiting for Cas to make a move. The car ascends and with the slight motion Castiel catapults himself into Dean arms. Pushing him up against the wall in one swift movement, pressing their hips together.</p><p>“Oh Cas!” Dean gasps into the crackling air of the elevator. His mouth already on Castiel’s throat, kissing the bolt of his jaw, his hands fisted in the soft fabric of his shirtfront. Cas curses as Dean nips his teeth along his Adam's apple, the skin salty and musky on his lips.</p><p>Cas’s hands are everywhere, tugging his hair, rubbing his shoulders, fingers trailing along the hem of his shirt. Hesitating once more at the fabric under his hands. Dean stops his ministrations on Cas’s neck and looks into his eyes.</p><p>Cas’s pupils are already lust blown, the irises a thin blue ring around inky black. He licks his lips, tongue catching between his incisor, a predatory gleam sweeping over his face. Dean’s cock already feels achingly hard, he nods slightly, and Cas tugs the shirt up and off. The fabric falling whisper soft to the floor of the elevator.</p><p>“Beautiful,” Cas murmurs, his eyes drinking in the sight of Dean’s bare chest. His skin flushes deeper under Castiel’s gaze. He moves to cross his arms, trying to cover himself. But Cas stills his hands in his own.</p><p>“Please,” He runs a finger from Dean’s clavicle down the center of his chest, sending a shiver through Dean, “please let me see you. Let me...”</p><p>His words do just as much to Dean as the touches and kisses have done. He didn’t know he could want someone this much. He had no idea of the fire that burned inside him till he locked eyes with Cas all those months ago.</p><p>“Let you what Cas? What do you want?” Dean’s voice husky with arousal.</p><p>A groan escapes his lips, Castiel steps into Dean’s arms, his hands roam around to his back and run up the hard plain of muscle there. Dean moves his hands around to Cas’s front and starts to work open the remaining button on his shirt. Desperate to feel Castiel under his hands. The last button yields, and he runs his fingers over all that warm skin.</p><p>Cas leans in close to his ear as the elevator doors rumble open, “All of you... I want all of you Dean.”</p><p>His mouth is back on him in an instant, Dean cries out at the flurry of lips and hands plundering his neck and chest. Castiel bends his head down and his teeth graze one of Dean’s nipples. His body spasms forward as he feels it being drawn up into a tight peak.</p><p>“You can have me,” Dean pants, his hands trying to pull Cas’s hips closer, “but we need to get in the fucking apartment!”</p><p>Castiel straightens up and drags him forward, groping blindly for the closing door of the elevator. It springs back with a groan of gears as they stumble over each other into the entryway, knocking into walls and furniture down the hall, finally making it to the bedroom.</p><p>Cas positions him up to the edge of the bed, backing up for a moment to pull the shirt from his shoulders. He takes his hand and places it on Dean’s chest, with a soft push he’s falling backwards on the soft bedspread. Cas wastes no time climbing on top of him. Angling his body away from Dean’s, leaning his head down to suck a mark on his chest. Dean lets out a whine in the back of his throat, he tries to shift his hips to brush against Castiel’s. Anything to create some friction between them. He felt like he was going mad from want.</p><p>His lips pull off of the skin above Dean’s sternum in a satisfying pop, “Problem?”</p><p>Dean grits his teeth as Cas resumes leaving wet bruises farther down his chest, “Darcy, if you don’t move your ass... I'm going to move it for you.”</p><p>He yelps as teeth nip into to the soft flesh of his belly, Cas sits back, raising a brow at him, “Oh will you, Bennet?”</p><p>Dean’s cock strains against his jeans, God he might come from that voice alone. Cas had to know what he was doing to him.</p><p>“You’re killing me.” He groans.</p><p>“Well at least you’ll die a happy man.” Cas reaches down and starts making quick work of Dean’s buckle.</p><p>Dean stills his breath as Castiel slowly lowers the zipper, shifting his hips up he lets his pants be tugged down his legs, denim trapping his thighs under Cas. His boxers tented over his straining erection, Cas bends his head and rubs his mouth over the fabric covered bulge. He can already feel the front of his underwear getting damp from the head of his cock. Cas reaches his fingers in the waistband, pulling it up and over him, freeing him.</p><p>Dean’s eyes squeeze shut; he wants to keep watching but it's too much. He can feel Cas’s hot breath on his skin. Then he’s surrounded, in a swirl of heat as Castiel wraps his tongue around him.</p><p>His eyes fly open, “Jesus Christ!” he shouts and dives his hands into Cas’s hair. Pulling himself deep into his mouth as Cas moans on his cock.</p><p>Cas’s hands snake down and tug on his balls, the heady sensation drawing him closer to orgasm. A rouge finger slipping lower to tease over the furl of muscle threatens to push him over the edge.</p><p>“Baby, that’s so good...” Dean pants. Pressure already building low in his gut.</p><p>Cas pulls his mouth off his cock and moves back to remove the rest of their clothes, tossing everything in the floor in a heap. Dean hears the thump of shoes, and phones, and belt buckles on the carpet. A smirk tugs at his lips.</p><p>“What’s so funny?” Cas asks as he climbs back up his body.<br/><br/>They’re finally skin to skin and its more amazing than Dean could have imagined. The muscles in Cas’s back and arms tense and stretch under Dean’s hands. Sneaking a peek between their bodies, Castiel’s cock hangs heavy and thick, the sight of it makes Dean’s mouth water.</p><p>“You seem a little impatient Cas.” he grins, pressing a hard kiss to Cas’s mouth.</p><p>Castiel rolls his hips, grinding Dean into the mattress, “A moment ago, I was going too slow. Something about moving my ass I believe?”</p><p>Dean opens his mouth to make a smart-ass comment in return but Castiel takes the opportunity to shut him up with another punishing roll.</p><p>The sensation drawing another moan from his lips, “You’re a real bastard you know that?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m aware.”</p><p>Cas’s props himself up with one hand, the other reaching into the nightstand. He pulls out a small bottle and clicks open the cap, the sound echoes in the bedroom. Bracketing himself between Dean’s knees he squeezes a generous amount of lube into his hand, warming it up between his fingers. Dean’s eyes track the movement like a rabbit watching a fox, his pulse stuttering under his skin.</p><p>Cas hooks his other hand under Dean’s leg and roughly hikes it up, without a word he slides his fingers over Dean’s cock, trails downwards over his taint and swirls it around the hole. Teasing him further, just pressing, not yet breaching his entrance.</p><p>Dean whines deep in his throat, “Cas please baby.”</p><p>“Please what Dean?” Cas growls, His eyes haven't left Dean this entire time, he’s been watching him suffer through all his torturous moves. Working himself in a tight fist with the other hand. A glossy drip of precome already beading at the tip of his cock.</p><p>Shit, was he going to make him say it? The finger between his legs presses harder, almost sinking all the way in.</p><p>“Please fuck me Cas. Please just... OH!” Dean finishes his pleading on an oath as Castiel slips two fingers into him at once. Biting back on the sting he feels himself clenching around him, his body already arching to take more.</p><p>“So greedy, God I can't wait to be inside you Dean.”</p><p>Cas’s fingers push deeper, scissoring inside him. Dean’s own cock is throbbing now, he may come untouched if Cas keeps this up.</p><p>“Give me more baby, I can take it.” Dean pants. He could, too. Usually, the angle was wrong to get more than two fingers up there, but he could manage three on a limber day. But it felt infinitely better to have Cas being the one to stretch him open like this.</p><p>“Oh, I bet you can. Do you come like this when you’re alone Dean? With your fingers deep inside you, my name caught in your throat?” Castiel flashes his teeth and sinks another finger into Dean.</p><p>“Fuck! So... So many times, Cas.” Dean nods rapidly.</p><p>Cas is barely grazing his prostate with every thrust of his fingers; Dean reaches over and places his hand on the fist gripped around Castiel’s cock. Releasing his own tight hold, Cas’s eyes flutter closed as Dean adjust the angle and begins to jerk Cas off. He’s rock hard in Dean’s clenched fist; steel incased in velvet, radiating heat through his palm.</p><p>The head of it already glistening wet, Dean licks his lips through another panting breath. Dying to know how Castiel would taste under his tongue, coming down his throat. He groans at the thought as Cas bumps against that bundle of nerves inside him. Arching off the bed, dragging Cas’s head down for a sloppy kiss. Licking into his mouth, sucking on his bottom lip.</p><p>“Oh Dean!” Cas moans into his open mouth as Dean feels his own cock leaking against his stomach. His growing need for release becoming too great to ignore.</p><p>“Cas... I need...” He keens.</p><p>Castiel sighs warmly, “I know.”</p><p>The fingers pull out of him almost immediately as Dean lets go of Cas to allow him to position himself more fully between his legs. His face flushed, his hairline and chest already slick with sweat. His blue eyes almost black in soft light of the bedroom. Cas takes more of the lube off the table and strokes himself, coating his thick cock with it. Dean can feel when Cas lines himself up with his hole, the head of his cock just resting at the opening. Cas’s biceps flex a little as he supports Dean’s leg over his arm.</p><p>And then he’s pushing inside him, the head of his cock just past the entrance. Dean sucks in a breath, preparations aside, it had been a long time for him. Cas stops, watching him closely.</p><p>“I’m fine Cas, just... go slow.” Dean huffs out a breath.</p><p>Castiel nods silently, resuming his thrust, but it is slower than before. He pauses every time Dean grips his arm. Giving him time to get used to the sensation. It only takes a few minutes more but soon Cas has bottomed out and his hips are pressed up all the way against Dean’s ass.</p><p>Dean shudders around him, it was too much. To be filled completely, to be made whole, to surrender like this. It wasn’t just sex; it wasn’t just making love. This felt as natural as Dean’s next breath. It felt like they had been made for this.</p><p>“Cas please,” he begs.</p><p>“Dean?” Castiel questions hesitantly, his brow creasing in concern.</p><p>Dean feels a tear creeps out from the corner of his eye and tracks down his cheek. Something overwhelms him. Just being here in this moment. Their flirty banter subsided, Dean’s already rapid heartbeat falters in his chest.</p><p>“I love you,” Dean says softly, his eyes never leaving Castiel’s.</p><p>Cas’s face instantly softens, he rests his warm forehead against Dean’s, “I love you too. So much,” and he presses a kiss to his brow before sitting back up.</p><p>Its cheesy as hell but that kiss settled him. Dean feels lighter in his chest, his pulse back to a normal rhythm. Castiel is still deep inside him, he takes a breath and steadies himself.</p><p>Cas slides out of him, not fully, before rocking his hips forward. Forcing a moan from Dean’s lips.</p><p>“Oh God,” he cries, “keep going!”</p><p>He resumes his thrusting again, but its shallower this time. Dean’s hand snakes up and grips his shoulders, pulling him deeper at the same time Cas pushes further in. Their hips picking up a cadence now as Castiel speeds up, his chest slick with sweat.</p><p>“Dean!” he gasps, hands searching for purchase on Dean’s hips.</p><p>With every roll of his pelvis, Castiel’s cock bumps against Dean’s prostate. His body tingling all over, like one giant nerve ending. His own dick pressed firmly between their bodies, coated in sweat and precome. Their thrusts just barely stroking him, he needs more friction, more pressure, more anything.</p><p>“Cas, sweetheart, I need you to touch me. I’m going crazy here.”</p><p>Castiel reaches out and slides a hand over Dean’s cock, the sudden touch an overload to his already shattered senses. The hand closes around him tightly, pumping him rapidly.</p><p>“Oh fuck!” He moans, hips thrusting up into Castiel’s fist.</p><p>Cas picks back up the rhythm of his hips, matching it with the motion of his hand. Thrusting into Dean and twisting his fist at the end of every stroke. Dean’s unbearably close, heat pooling in his belly as his pulse triples in his chest.</p><p>“Dean, you feel so good.” Cas groans, throwing his head back.</p><p>“You gonna come Cas?” he pants, “you want it baby?”</p><p>Looking back down Castiel smiles fiercely, he grips Dean tighter in his fist. Delivering another punishing thrust, Dean cries out.</p><p>“I’m so close Dean,” Cas moans.</p><p>“Come for me Castiel,” Dean pleads, “I want..”</p><p>He cant finish, Cas’s thrusts steal the words from his lips, turning them into another moan at the last moment. His orgasm building faster, and faster. Castiel bucks into him harder. Crying out with every thrust.</p><p>“Dean... Dean... Dean!” Castiel keens “I’m coming!”</p><p>He’s right behind him, coming apart in Castiel’s hand. His heart explodes in his chest, his eyes roll back, his love’s name screaming on his lips. White painting his stomach and chest in a hot rush.</p><p>“Fuck! Cas!”</p><p>Castiel thrusts one last time, already sliding out of Dean in the process. He collapses on top of him, their hearts crashing like ocean waves through their chests. Gasping for air, Cas presses an open mouth kiss to the underside of Dean’s jaw.</p><p>Minutes pass in blissful silence, the only sound the rasping breaths and the roar of blood in Dean’s ears. His heart slowly reconstructs itself from its earlier explosion. He peeks down to see if Cas has fallen asleep on his chest. They were coated with all manner body fluids, and even someone used to be covered in grease like Dean was, desperatley longed for a shower.</p><p>“Are you alive?” He mumbles into Cas’s hair.</p><p>Castiel grumbles unintelligibly, sounding a bit miffed to have been roused from his dazed state.</p><p>He smiles in the dark, right back to being grouchy. Wasn’t that just Darcy to a freaking tee?</p><p>“You can’t keep up this grumpy act now, you know?” He pears down his nose as Cas lifts his head slowly.</p><p>“Grumpy act?” he huffs indignatley.</p><p>“Yeah, that callous attitude isn’t going to fly anymore. Cause I know the truth.”</p><p>Castiel squints at him, tilting his head to the side. Which given the angle of their bodies is kind of impressive.</p><p>“And what truth is that?” he growls.</p><p>That gravely voice sends a new shiver of arousal through Dean, as if he didn’t just have the hardest orgasm he’s ever had.</p><p>“I know, deep down under that mask of yours, that you, Castiel Darcy are a hopless romantic.” Dean flashes a wide grin as Cas squints further, his eye practically slits.</p><p>Castiel lays silently a moment, clearly assessing his options. Something about how serious he considers what to say sends a rush of love through Dean. How was it possible, that this man was all Dean had ever dreamed of?</p><p>Cas places another kiss on Dean’s chin, angling up to hover his lips over Dean’s.</p><p>“And if I were to persuade you to keep that information between us?” he murmers into Dean’s mouth.</p><p>Another wave of lust crashes on the shore. The tide already pulling him back in, Jesus they were going to kill each other at this rate.</p><p>“Oh that would take some very powerful persuasion Mr. Darcy.”</p><p>“What did you have in mind Mr. Bennet?” Cas’s lips are almost on Dean’s now. His ridiculous blue eyes locked on to his own.</p><p>“Hmmm, how about we start our negotiations in the shower and see where it goes.” Dean rubs his nose along Castiel’s, urging him on.</p><p>“Sounds perfect.” Castiel murmurs and crushes his lips against him. Sealing their bond with a powerful kiss.<br/><br/>The last coherent thought Dean has before being dragged up from the bed was that he was so thankful. Thankful he got out of his own head just so that his heart could take over.  </p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two chapters in one day?! I must really love you guys. We made it to the end of our journey! I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two Years Later...</p><p>Castiel paces the floor of his father’s study. Stalking like a tiger trapped in a cage, back and forth over the carpet. His heart tapping out a rapid beat behind his ribs.</p><p>“What’s the time?” he growls out.</p><p>Claire rolls her eyes behind his back from her position in the red leather chair, “5 minutes since the last time you asked. Will you please sit down?”</p><p>He can't sit, he can't stop moving. If he does then he’ll start obsessing again, he pulls a sheaf of note cards out of his jacket pocket. Flipping through them for the hundredth time today, he barely needs to glance at the words. It was perfect, it had to be, he had no time to revise his speech. Not when they were in the eleventh hour.</p><p>“Cas, it's going to be great. You don’t need to be nervous.” Eileen calls from her own seat across the room. She’s looking in a mirror above an antique writing desk that’s been brought in for the occasion. Her hands primp at her hair, tucking a loose tendril with a bobby pin.</p><p>He gulps, “I’m not nervous.”</p><p>She meets his eyes suspiciously in the mirror and his reflection betrays him. His blue eyes, wide and shimmering with emotion. Her expression softens, “You look very handsome Castiel.”</p><p>He flushes a little under her praise, his nerves momentarily forgotten. At least his appearance is acceptable; while the bold navy suit may be a little casual for the event, it was tailored expertly. The matching waistcoat and tie complimented it nicely, however.</p><p>“Compared to the two of you, I'll be fading into the background.” he smiles as Eileen lets out a snort.</p><p>“Oh please, even if it is Alexander McQueen, I still look like a farm animal off to auction.” She snarks, but her hand rubs absently at her dress, the blush-colored lace stretching across her ever-growing midsection.</p><p>She might not sound joyful, but he knew she was elated. Eight months into her pregnancy, Eileen was most definitely glowing. It may have had something to do with the occasion today but Castiel knew better. She had never seemed happier; despite losing their first pregnancy at ten weeks, Eileen and Sam were both eager to keep trying. They were rewarded a few months later when she got pregnant again. And, with taking the proper safety precautions from her doctor, they announced the news to their friends and family that Henry Austen Bennet would be gracing them with his presence very soon.</p><p>“You are a vision; Sam is a lucky man.” Castiel runs a hand affectionately down her arm.</p><p>“Remind him of that next time I ask for beef jerky at 2:00 in the morning. That man is a saint!” She laughs.</p><p>He smirks, picturing his oldest friend demanding snacks at all hours of the night. Sam may very well be the patron saint of patience; he knew Eileen could be demanding even when she wasn’t expecting.</p><p>“Do you need anything? Glass of water, I can have Donna whip you up a snack?” Claire offers, coming over to the other side of her.</p><p>“No more snacks, this dress isn't going to stay together! Plus, if I have any more water I'll be running to pee in the middle of the ceremony.”</p><p>Claire’s head shakes in a fit of laughter, her flower crown shifting in the process, “Well we can't have that can we?”</p><p>There's a soft knock on the door and Ellen sticks her head in, “Almost time; how are we doing in here? Oh, girls you look just beautiful.”</p><p>Her eyes fill a little as she takes Claire’s hands in her own. They had grown close over the last few years, Ellen stepping into her mothering role with Claire just as easily as she had done with Castiel. Both her and Bobby frequently visited Pemberly when Claire was home from Sarah Lawrence.</p><p>The eight of them tried for family dinner at least once a month. Most of the time they all made it too, but if Sam worked late or Castiel was out of town, the rest of them still got together. It touched him so deeply how the Bennet’s and the Gardiner’s had made Castiel, Claire, and Eileen part of their family. He never thought he’d find a love like this. When his parents died, he just assumed there would always be something missing in his life. But because of Dean, he had found a way to fill that hole inside him.</p><p>“Hey! What about me?” He grins at her.</p><p>All three women laugh, and Ellen pulls him into a hard hug, trying not to crush the boutonniere at his lapel.</p><p>“You look very handsome.” She murmurs in his ear. “If you didn’t already have a date today, I'd be next in line.”</p><p>He tucks his chin affectionately into her shoulder, never a big hugger, Castiel found himself unable to resist the warm embrace.</p><p>“How is Dean doing?” he whispers.</p><p>She pulls back with a grin, “Pacing like a big cat, asking Sam the time every five minutes.”</p><p>Something flutters in his chest, at least his wasn’t alone. It felt like they’d been in sync on so many things, he didn’t know why it would have been any different with today.</p><p>“Should we start heading outside?” Claire inquires to the group.</p><p>Castiel checks his own watch now, they had about twenty minutes for guests to finish mingling in the garden to take their seats. Even with the September air breathing a whisper of fall on it breeze, the grounds were still in bloom with flowers. Elieen had insisted on using the gardens, she had it all mapped out in her mind, and once he saw the concept, he couldn’t help but agree with her.</p><p>“I think we can make our way over.” he exhales shakily. There was no need to be nervous, but now that the time was upon them, he couldn’t help but feel that flutter turn to a gallop very quickly.</p><p>“Someone’s going to need to help me up.” Eileen reaches a hand up from her chair.</p><p>Both Castiel and Claire get a hand under her elbows and lift her easily to her feet. Smoothing down the hem that comes just to her knees, she takes her bouquet of flowers from the bucket tucked discreetly in the corner. Claire holds a towel under it to catch the last few drops of water from falling on her shoes before taking her own boquet and doing the same.</p><p>Ellen leads them out into the hall, its quiet enough in the building to hear a pin drop. The girls' skirts rustling whisper soft, the tinkling of glassware from the catering staff in the kitchen, a man’s laugh (it sounded like Gabe) echoes out the front door. All that paling in comparison to the canon fire going off in Castiel’s heart. Surely, they all could hear it as he’s last to exit the study, they all turn expectantly at him. Waiting for him to give the word.</p><p>He takes a calming breath, trying to steady himself. It was going to be fine, there was no reason to think otherwise.</p><p>Claire steps over and puts a hand to his cheek, searching over his face for signs of trouble, “Are you okay?”</p><p>He nods, swallowing down the lump in his throat, “Yes I’m fine. We can go, I’m sure everyone is waiting.”</p><p>Humor blooms over her face, “That’s probably true, but we can’t really start without the groom, can we?”</p><p>He chuckles, “No, I suppose we can’t. Guess I better get moving then.”</p><p>She tips him a wink as he offers her his arm. Together they walk out the door into the sunlight.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Dean bounces on the balls of his feet just outside the garden gate. Shifting his dress shoes on the gravel path. His body, full of energy both nervous and excited, feels like it can barely contain itself. He gave up pacing when Bobby knocked him upside the head and told him to sit the hell down. Which he did for all of three minutes before jumping up again when Gabe came in the upstairs parlor to fetch them.</p><p>Now they were all down at the entrance of the “chapel”, just waiting for the whole deal to get started. On the other side of the garden wall, fifty of their closest friends and relatives sit in white chairs, dressed in their Sunday best.</p><p>Sam claps a hand on his shoulder, “Ellen just let me know Cas and the girls are on their way out.”</p><p>Shaking the last of the nerves out Dean turns to his brother, “Alright, let’s get this show on the road. Adam, you got the ring?”</p><p>Adam pats his pocket, nodding firmly, “Right here Dean. Don’t worry, I won’t screw this up.”</p><p>Dean’s eyes prickle as he pulls his youngest brother into a crushing hug. He’s been sober 18 months, its honestly blown Dean away how well he’s been doing. One small relapse, just after he got to the group home; but his sponsor, a stoic man named Gadreel, helped get him back on track. He had since moved out of the group home back into the house on Winchester street. Except now he was living with two other young men from his program. Finished his GED and got a job as a mail clerk at Netherfield. He really managed to pull his life together. Dean had never felt prouder of him than he did the day Adam got his one-year chip and called him first to share the good news.</p><p>“I know you won't buddy, you got this.” Dean sighs fondly.</p><p>“Alright, cut it out, you’re going to smush your outfit!” Adam struggles weakly out of the hug.</p><p>Dean straightens and runs a hand over his navy suit. It wasn’t identical to Castiel’s, but close enough where Dean felt a little rush of sentiment. Crisp white shirt, polka dot blue tie, no vest for him, however. He had begged Claire and Eileen to keep this as casual as possible. So, what started as a black-tie wedding with a guest list topping around two hundred, was chipped down slowly to a much more intimate affair.</p><p>“You ready Dean?” Sam raises a brow over the top of his dark glasses.</p><p>“I’ve been ready for over a year. Don’t worry, this isn't a Runaway Bride reboot.”</p><p>Sam snorts and stows his shades in his pocket. Peaking around the corner, “It’s looks like everyone’s in their seats. I say we’re good to go.”</p><p>And on cue the soft music coming from the discretely hidden speakers stops and Dean’s breath stops right along with it. The prepared tuned starts and all three men line up to walk towards the alter. Adam leading, steps up to the edge of the stone wall, pausing till the appropriate time he steps lively down the green grass aisle.</p><p>Sam is next, he squeezes Dean’s shoulder one last time, “Don't lock your legs,” he whispers and turns back to make his own trip. Dean can see him wave discreetly to a few friends or cousins along the way. He takes his place next to Adam and turns back to watch for Dean.</p><p>Dean vaguely hears the girls and Cas coming up behind him. He wants so badly to turn and look. Just to see Cas’s face one more time, but he knows Claire or Eileen will flog him for it. They’ve both somehow convinced them to even sleep separately the night before. Cas coming out to Pemberly with the girls, Dean staying at Sam and Eileen’s condo in the city. It had been one of the only nights he had slept alone in almost two years. So yeah, maybe he slept in one of Cas’s shirts; it was comfortable and had nothing to do with the fact he missed him like a limb.</p><p>He takes another calming breath and, on his cue, walks confidently down to the alter. Nodding and smiling to the handful of people he can pick out of the crowd. At first, he protested the idea of a big wedding, he would have been just as fine to go to city hall and sign in front of a judge. But just about everyone overruled his vote. Never one to want for the spotlight, he couldn’t help feeling a little silly up here in front of everyone.</p><p>Claire and Eileen make their way up the path, he hears Sam sharp inhale at the sight of his wife in her pretty pink dress. Her growing belly looked like a beachball smuggled under her dress. Dean thought she never looked more beautiful.</p><p>The music stops again, and everyone turns to look at Castiel, who’s lingering at the edge of the wall. Dean locks eyes with him and all the nerves melt away. They’re finally here, and up till now, the night Cas proposed to him had been the happiest of his life. But it was all about to pale in comparison to how he felt in this moment.</p><p>Castiel smiles wide, his pink gums peeking out over his teeth. The next song starts, and he walks purposefully down the aisle, his eyes never leaving Dean’s. Reaching the alter he steps up and slips his fingers into Dean’s. Waves of devotion radiating from the man he was about to marry. He could already feel his eyes stinging, and he throws up a silent prayer to not blubber through the whole thing.</p><p>Everyone shifts their focus to the front and Dean glances at the reverend, an older man with a shock of wild silver hair and heavy beard. Reverend Cain had a fearsome look, sunlight glinting hard in his steel blue eyes. But his face softened immediately as he starts to speak.</p><p>“Friendship, family, and love; that is what brings us here today. When I met Castiel and Dean, the first thing I noticed was how much these two men value the relationships with each and every one of you. You may be related to either of them, but even if you aren’t, it’s the bonds you’ve formed that make you all a family. Dean schooled me very quickly that family doesn’t end in blood.”</p><p>Dean wants to look out on their friends and family, to see all the smiling faces. But he can't tear his eyes away from Castiel’s. He feels him squeeze his hand tightly in his own and it sends another wave of love through him. Dean takes his other hand and places it gently on Cas’s cheek, feeling the warmth in his palm.</p><p>“The second thing I noticed, was these two can't seem to keep their hands off each other.” He stage-whispers conspiratorially to the crowd and there’s an eruption of laughter.</p><p>Castiel flushes scarlet under Dean’s hand, and he quickly removes it. Not in shame, but because he knew that they had a bit of a PDA problem. Pretty much everyone here had said something at one moment or another about them being all over each other.</p><p>“Sorry,” Dean mumbles sheepishly to Reverend Cain but he just smiles.</p><p>Cain continues as if that was part of his planned speech, “I’m not going to talk your ear off today about the connection between Castiel and Dean. I’m confident you’ve probably heard, seen, or experienced it for yourselves. And furthermore, it would be much more enjoyable for all of us to hear it in their own words. Dean, do you have something you’d like to say to Castiel?”</p><p>There’s a tightness in his chest that already threatens to steal his voice, he takes a deep breath and turns around to Sam. Adam passed the ring up to him and Dean takes the dark wedding band from his large hand, he holds the ring up for Cas to see. Preparing to slip it on his finger.</p><p>“Cas, I spent a lifetime trying to protect something most people take for granted, a home. For me, home was always a place of refuge, a place of comfort, a place where I could be myself. When the world knocked me down, I sought solace in its walls. When I was happy, it was a palace. And when I felt like I couldn’t go on, it sheltered me from the storm. And for a long time, it was a physical place, something I could touch, something that could be destroyed, and I fought like hell to keep it safe.”</p><p>He takes a watery breath, feeling the tears trying to choke his words. Cas’s eyes have filled but not yet spilled over. He grips his hand tighter, grounding him back to the moment.</p><p>“But then I met you; and everything changed. The lines blurred, the definition of home in my mind was crossed out, rewritten, hell I think I may have even thrown the whole dictionary out at one point.”</p><p>A faint ripple of laughter flows through the crowd. He takes the moment to pull Cas’s hand up to his lips, kissing the skin softly. A tear rolls down his cheek and he wipes it away before going on.</p><p>“Because when I met you, I realized a house is just that. Four walls, wood, and nails. A home is a sense of comfort, of belonging, of love. And when I look at you, I know I have all of that. I look at you and…I’m home.”</p><p>Cas pulls him forward abruptly and plants a rough kiss on his lips, Dean’s eyes slip close, tears running freely down his face. The salt of them mixes with the sweetness of Cas’s lips. There’s a loud clearing of a throat to his right and his eyes flutter open to the grimace on Cain’s face.</p><p>“It’s not quite time yet fellas.”</p><p>The crowd laughs again, this time he and Cas join them. Smiling wide, he slips the simple band on Castiel’s finger.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Castiel desperately wished for a few more moments to compose himself after Dean’s emotional vows. Early in their relationship he knew Dean had been hesitant to share his feelings verbally. But after much reassurance on his part, it was like a spout had been turned on. Both prose and praise fell from Dean’s lips daily. Even after a thousand declarations of love, it never failed to humble him how deeply Dean felt things. Maybe it's what made him such a good writer. It was certainly why Castiel felt his own vows might be lacking in comparison.</p><p>“Whenever you’re ready Castiel.” Reverend Cain urges gently.</p><p>He nods silently, needing to save all his words for the speech he had prepared. There’s a hand on his elbow and he turns to Claire’s smiling face.</p><p>“You're going to want this,” she whispers. Handing him the tungsten wedding band that matches the one currently intertwined in Dean’s fingers.</p><p>“Thank you,” he whispers back.</p><p>Turning to face Dean, those gorgeous green eyes survey him cautiously. Dean knew he’d been nervous about his vows. He’d told him numerous times they didn’t have to write something; they could have stuck with the standard script. But Castiel knew Dean had more to say than just typical love, honor, and cherish. He didn’t want to deprive him of that, and he was so thankful that he hadn’t.</p><p>Releasing Dean’s hands, he pats the pocket of his suit for his note cards, feeling nothing but solid chest beneath. A sinking feeling swoops in his stomach, there’s no rectangular lump in his front pocket. Frantically checking his pants pockets next, they turn up empty too. Damn, he must have left them back in the study. How was he supposed to make it perfect if he didn't have his expertly crafted notes?</p><p>Dean puts a hand on his arm and squeezes it gently. He’s smiling but Cas can recognize the flicker of concern in his eyes. Asking an unspoken question, is everything okay?</p><p>“I um,” he starts, but stops. Dean doesn’t need to know he forgot his cards. It didn’t matter what he wrote down. The man he loved was standing here in front of him. He only had to look at Dean to know what he felt. He smiles fully and can see Dean’s brow relax again. Answering his earlier question, everything is fine, don’t worry my love.</p><p>He reaches back out for Dean’s left hand, the dark metal ring warming in his fingertips, Dean sighs at the contact. The Reverend had been correct earlier; he and Dean had some “trouble” keeping their physical affections under control. Dean loved to be touched, to be held, to be kissed, and it was no hardship for Castiel to indulge in those needs, as much as he possibly could.</p><p>“Dean, I thought a lot about what I wanted to say to you today. I thought about our first date, our first kiss, the first time we said I love you. Oddly enough those events happened in somewhat backwards order.”</p><p>Their guests laugh quietly, some unaware of how true that really was. Their first official date came weeks after they said their I love you’s in the lobby of his apartment building. It probably didn’t help they didn’t leave the apartment for over a week. Heat creeps up his cheeks at the memory.</p><p>“But what I most wanted to convey was when I first realized how deep my feelings and affections were for you. I tried to recall the moment; I wracked my brain over all our memories together. Was it the night we met? Maybe our first dance together. The morning you broke down in my arms. No, in fact the more I thought of it, I came up with nothing.”</p><p>Dean sighs at his words, a fresh crop of tears cascading down his beautiful face. If he could kiss every one of them away right now, he would. Even as he feels his own tears trickling out at the corner of his eye.</p><p>“I could not fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation of my love for you. It was too long ago, and I confess I was in the middle of it before I knew that I had begun.”</p><p>There’s a collective sigh from the crowd at this statement, He take a minute to get his breath back and slides the ring all the way onto Dean’s finger.</p><p>“My love for you has always been a part of our story, its infused in every word, tucked in the margins of every page.” He raises the hand up to his lips. He places a chaste kiss on the knuckle just below the slick black metal.</p><p>Straightening up, he nods over to the reverend signaling he’s finished. Cain lays a hand on either of their shoulders, but Cas is so focused on Dean’s smiling face he can't be bothered to look over.</p><p>“Well, before they try to sneak another kiss in, I'll close by saying this; Castiel, Dean, your love is truly something to be celebrated. We should all consider ourselves lucky to bear witness to it. It’s a rare and precious thing that you share. I hope it lasts you the rest of your days. By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I pronounce you married. You may now kiss your husband.”</p><p>The crowd claps and jumps to their feet, Adam lets out a little whoop behind Sam’s shoulder, and Cain steps back to give them some room. Castiel notices all of this, but also sees none of it. He only sees Dean, smiling from ear to ear at him. The miniscule gap between them closes and they collide in a near perfect kiss, only waylaid by the fact they are both trying to grip each other's faces at the same time.</p><p>The cheer of voices is drowned out by the beating of his heart. His ears are flooded with the sound till Dean breaks the kiss and pulls him closer.</p><p>“I love you, so damn much.” Dean exhales in his ear, breaking through the roar.</p><p>His soul at ease, his heart impossibly full, wrapped up in the one person who got into his head. The man who stormed through all his defenses, who broke every careful rule he’d constructed. The man who called him his home. He knew he’d spend the rest of his life, giving Dean exactly that. A safe place to come home to. A light in the dark.</p><p>“I love you Dean.” He replies.</p><p> </p><p>&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</p><p>The sun has just set below the tree line and the patio lights flicker on. Guests mingle about, sipping drinks and sampling food, chatting before the next part of the reception starts.</p><p>Dean sits at a small table adjacent from the dancefloor, brought in special for the occasion. He’s itching to get out of his tie and jacket, but Ellen told him he had to keep it on through the first dance. A few more photo ops, about a hundred hugs, and another two hours of partying and they’d be done. Packed up in the Impala bound for their hotel room in the city.</p><p>He had tried to buck that tradition as well, their home was barely 10 blocks from the hotel, why did couldn’t they just go back to the apartment? That had apparently been the wrong thing to say, even Sam scoffed at him when he suggested it back in the early days of wedding planning. He’d been overruled very quickly by everyone involved. Somehow their whole wedding became a democracy. If he didn’t love them all so damn much, he would have beat them all senseless by now.</p><p>It wouldn’t be so bad, and besides the next morning he and Cas will be flying off to Bimini for their honeymoon. Now that was something Dean was looking forward to. Two weeks of sunshine, clear blue waters, toes in the sand, umbrella drinks, and Castiel in an indecently small pair of swim trunks. He had been sure Cas had packed all his favorite colors.</p><p>He’s smiling at the memory of Castiel modeling said bathing suits for him when Gabe saunters up to the table.</p><p>“Hey Dean-O! They wanted me to come tell you it's about time for the first dance. Where is your husband?” Gabe fists his hands on his hips, chastising Dean cheekily for already misplacing Cas.</p><p>His husband, God was he ever going to get used to that? It felt like he had only just begun to get used to saying boyfriend without feeling like a teenager in love. Now he grinned and looked down at his ring finger. Yeah, he was going to get used to it in no time at all.</p><p>“I think he was talking to Eileen’s parents. He should be back any moment.”</p><p>Gabriel sighs, “Alright, well if he’s late I'm not dancing with you.”</p><p>Dean arches a brow, not quite as high or domineering as Castiel’s but enough to look stern, “Scared Cas will beat you up again?”</p><p>“I swear, I make one comment about how nice your ass looks and I’m on lifetime probation!” Gabe throws back his head in laughter.</p><p>He chuckles as well as he gets up to come around the side of the table.</p><p>“You’re lucky I was there to hold him back.”</p><p>Gabe pokes a finger in his chest, “You didn’t hold him back at all! I distinctly remember you shouting, “defend my honor Castiel!” and offering to hold his coat!”</p><p>Dean smirks, “As any good boyfriend does.”</p><p>“As one does,” Gabe agrees, “so should I go track down your wayward groom or go tell the band to warm up?”</p><p>His eyes glance over the crowd; Sam is rubbing Eileen’s feet while she chats with her sister. Anna, mostly softened up to all of them now, somehow convinced herself she’d been in favor of Sam and Eileen’s relationship the entire time. Dean was just happy she spent most of her time in Europe with her rich husband, the man sitting peacefully next to her. He was nice enough, just also old enough to be her father.</p><p>Claire is Facetiming with her friend Kaia from Spain; he can tell it's her from here because Claire’s eyes have gone soft and dreamy. He’s been hinting to Claire for months now she should go visit her over the next holiday break, and he thinks she just may do it.</p><p>Adam is talking with Uncle Bobby while they each pick away at the pie Dean insisted on serving for dessert. Luckily (for them) no one dared to challenge that decision. Apple, blueberry, peach, and chocolate cream. All of Dean and Cas’s favorites were lined up on the dessert table. He needed to be sure to snap a slice of apple before it was all gone. Maybe they could even bring a few back to the hotel for a midnight snack.</p><p>But he doesn’t see Cas anywhere, he’s about to turn to Gabe and ask for help tracking him down when a strong pair of arms wrap around his waist. Warm lips press into the skin below his ear, and he shudders at the touch.</p><p>“Not now darling my husband will be back any minute.” He whispers sneakily.</p><p>Cas pinches him on the ass inciting an undignified yelp out of him.</p><p>“You’ll be paying for that comment later.” Castiel growls in his ear, low enough where only Dean can hear. The shudder he felt a moment ago runs all the way down to his toes, in pure anticipation of the night to come.</p><p>He turns slightly and plants a noisy kiss on Cas’s cheek, “Oh I'm counting on it Mr. Darcy.”</p><p>“Break it up you two, I'm going to tell the band leader you’re ready for the dance.” Gabe waves at them dismissively and strides off.</p><p>“Whose idea was it to make him Master of Ceremonies?” Dean asks aloud and they both point at each other in response.</p><p>Releasing Dean from the hold around his waist, Cas comes up beside him and takes his hand.</p><p>Castiel smiles and stares out at the same people Dean had just been looking at. He sighs contentedly, fingers loosely stroking Dean’s hand in his own.</p><p>“This was a lovely party.” he says.</p><p>“Well, it ain’t over yet sweetheart, you ready to dance?” Dean grins and squeezes his hand, excitement for what he has planned bubbling over.</p><p>“Of course, Dean.” he squeezes back.</p><p>The music starts up, Dean immediately looks over to Cas to gauge his reaction. Dean had been vetoed on a lot of things but picking the song for their first dance wasn’t one of them. Once he explained, privately, to Eileen what he had in mind she moved heaven and earth to make it happen without letting Cas know what was up.</p><p>“You change your mind?”</p><p>Castiel’s head tilts a little to side. He looks over at Dean perplexed.</p><p>“No, I haven’t changed my mind. What on earth are you talking about?”</p><p>It may have been too subtle, maybe he was the only one who remembered. He takes a breath and steps out on to the floor. Holding his hand out to Castiel.</p><p>“Listen to the song Cas.” Dean urges.</p><p>Castiel doesn’t respond, he closes his eyes briefly, the music traveling up over the din of the crowd. Dean can tell the exact moment he recognizes the song. His eyes flutter open and Dean is treated to the one sight he knows he’ll never take for granted. Castiel’s beautiful blue eyes lock on his; full of love, exasperation, and everything in between.</p><p>“This is the song from the launch... the one we danced to.” he whispers in awe.</p><p>Dean nods, gripping his husband’s hand tightly.</p><p>“Would you care to dance Castiel?” He smiles, pulling Cas closer, leading him onto the dance floor.</p><p>Castiel smiles as Dean wraps him up in his arms. Tipping their foreheads together, “I thought you’d never ask.”</p><p>They sway around the dance floor, as far as their concerned, they’re the only two people in the world.</p><p>Two souls who found each other against all odds.</p><p>The End.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Sobs over Dean/Cas wedding*<br/>We could have had it aaallllllll!</p><p>Okay - I’ve got that out of my system.</p><p>Thank you all so so so so so much for reading, and commenting, and leaving kudos. I cherish each and every one of you for helping me to get this story out. I'm so sad it's over but I'm so thrilled to have taken this journey.</p><p>From the bottom of my heart I hope I did these two epic love stories justice and that you loved every moment as I have.</p><p>Thank you!</p>
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